Please see our player page for Willie Calhoun to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The Orioles are on pace to give up 1,776 home runs, because they’re close to our nation’s capital, and that is a great figure, a historic number.  A cannot be imitated — help me out here, Captain Lou Albano — never duplicated number.  Scratch that, they’re now on pace to give up 1777 home runs because of the Battle of the Assunpink Creek. That was also the title of the Pink concert when her stretch pants were a little too skimpy in the back.  “I see your Assupink Creek 2017.”  Great show, the aerobatics alone.  So, I try to avoid making every lede about hitters in Coors or facing the Orioles, but here goes, because Gleyber Torres has 14 homers against the O’s in five games and 12 homers on the year.  There’s math involved in that number.  He went 2-for-5 with his 11th and 12th homers.  Next up, literally, Brett Gardner (3-for-4, 1 run) hit more doubles than the sketchy guy at the craps table who kept betting the horn and looking over his shoulder.  DJ LeMahieu (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR) was on the ones and twos, but mostly on the ones, since he hit leadoff and his 4th homer.  Gary Sanchez (2-for-4) hit his 15th long ball and don’t mention hitting balls around Gary, he crosses his legs.  Then there’s Thairo (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR), who should be on the Iron Throne, but that’s a hot internet take, and I’m here for cold ones, but he even has three homers because Our Commissioner Manfred sticks Capri Sun straws into balls and juices them up.  If you learn nothing else from this post, and you might not, stream all hitters vs. the Orioles.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Cougs, what are you doing to our dear Fantasy Master Lothario? Is this shaking pillow in fact a cure for snoring, or just a modern torture device? Reader, you decide. In the meantime there was fantasy baseball to discuss, like this weekends FAAB madness, Shane Bieber’s dominant start, how worried we are about Noah Syndergaard, and where to get the best borscht in Los Angeles. Wrapping up the show we run through some adds for your leagues, luminaries like C.J. Cron, Tommy LaStella, and that Peanut Vendor that dances at Padres games (I made this person up). It’s another episode of the Razzball Podcast, check your diaper.

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The Braves called up Austin Riley this week, which is news to the guy in your league who went into shock when he realized he drafted Travis Shaw, Ender Inciarte and Rougned Odor in all leagues.  That person sounds suspiciously like me.  The Braves sharted Super Two Status as one might shart it when they can just sign Riley to a ten-year deal worth $45,000 annually.  As someone who is paid in pennies from advertisers, that sounds pretty Eflin good.  If you notice in the video at the top of this post, Riley is Anime Grey’s Buy, and that needs to be animated about a week ahead of time, so I was thinking about this Buy for some time now.  I was spurred on by Prospect Mike’s Austin Riley post last Sunday, when he alerted me that the Braves began to play Riley in the outfield.  As they say in any rest stop bathroom, the writing’s on the wall and someone’s about to get it in the rear, Ender.  In Triple-A, Riley hit 15 homers in only 37 games (144 ABs), and looks capable of 30+ homers in the majors.  Even the conservative-with-rookies Steamer projects him for 25 homers on the Prospectonator.  Ender might return at some point; Riley could slump; your degree from a liberal arts college where you majored in Wingdings font could be helpful, but for now Ender’s garbage; Riley should be owned; and you’re only qualified to work at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Another week, more exciting prospect call-ups, as Keston Hiura is now a full-fledged Milwaukee Brewer, and Brendan Rodgers is rumored to be on his way to join the Rockies as I write this.  If you play in a shallow league, perhaps you had the opportunity to grab Hiura off the waiver wire and are now a little more invested in his major league baseball career than you were a week ago.  If you play in a very deep league, chances are both Hiura and Rodgers were drafted back in March even in re-draft formats, and perhaps have been owned for years in an NL-only, dynasty type league.  No, we deep-leaguers aren’t going to be finding guys with Hiura’s or Rodgers’ upside floating in the free agent pool too often, so we have to get much more creative.… and on that note, here are this week’s players that may be more realistic targets in AL-only, NL-only, and other deep leagues.

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MLB owners decided not signing free agents was too obvious. Everyone can see that in plain-sight. Passing around a championship belt that says you’ve spent the least on free agents? Too on the nose! So, MLB owners got together and decided en masse the best way to manipulate the market is to promote prospects and milk them for a few years at their minimum, then let someone else pay them for their services or lock them down to a big contract when they’re very young for pennies on the dollar of their actual worth. Crazy or crazy like a fox?  So, Brendan Rodgers was called up yesterday at like 5 AM my time, and, then when I woke up at 7 AM, I promptly grabbed Br. Rodgers in all but one league to find out about a half of a cup of coffee later I now owned Brady Rodgers, a relief pitcher on the Astros.  Anyone know what his stuff looks like?  True Story Alert (after the last true story that was given without an alert)! I already had Austin Riley and Brendan Rodgers featured predominantly in my Friday Buy that’s coming later today.  Planned it out on Monday of this week, figuring I could tell you to pick them up before they were called up next week.  Comic book graphic of being wrapped in Reynolds Wrap as I scream, “FOILED!” On the Prospectonator, which ranks and projects all rookies, Rodgers is ranked 4th for all rookies.  The 1st two are Vlad Jr. and Senzel, and the third is The Boss.  With Hampson demoted, I’d guess the Rockies give Rodgers a long leash as he plays 2nd, and he might not need said leash.  He could click immediately, and be a fixture on the Rockies’ infield like Story and Arenado were before him.  He should be owned in every league.  For what it’s Werth, Rudy thinks Rodgers could just be insurance for Trevor Story, but I think Ryan McMahon is done.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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B_Don returns triumphantly from Puerto Rico, just in time for a flurry of prospect calls ups. The sausage lovers kick the show off by going over each of the recent promotions, giving their thoughts on Keston Hiura, Austin Riley, Oscar Mercado, Willie Calhoun, Nicky Lopez, Corbin Martin, and several others.

During the profiles segment, Donkey Teeth breaks down post-hype breakout candidate Lucas Giolito, while B_Don shares his thoughts on rookie stud Mike Soroka. Find out what to expect from each of these youngsters moving forward and how you should be valuing each in the fantasy game. The sausage fest is topped off with some Dijon mustard and a flurry of pick up recommendations. Grab a wiener and get comfy, summer is coming!
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Sorry, but first I must purge myself of all Yu song references.  If you don’t like that, Yu Can’t Always Get What Yu Want, but, if Yu try, Yu might get what Yu need, because all Yu Need Is Love, and I Wish Yu Were Here.  Yu Give Love A Bad Name, but I’m gonna Run to Yu.  Even if Rick rolled, I’m Never Gonna Give Yu Up, and shut don’t go up, but Yu do. Yu Take My Breath Away when Yu pitch well, but Yu Never Give Me Your Money, which makes sense since Yu Don’t Know Me.  Without or Without Yu Yu (stutterer!) can put together a solid rotation, but Yu Light Up My Life when it’s the Best of Yu. Have I Told Yu Lately he needed to cut down on his walks? Yesterday, he went 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks (zero walks!), ERA at 5.14, and I Know What Yu Did Last Summer (disambiguation: song), but what about now? Don’t Yu (Forget About Me).  Did the Rangers closer, Chris Martin, Fix Yu? Remains doubtful, but no walks is Arthur’s Theme (Best Yu Can Do).  Any hoo!  Yu Darvish might’ve been dealing with a mechanics issue, and maybe now that’s fixed.  He does have a near-12 K/9, the only bugaboo is his 7+ BB/9, but if he can tame that he immediately shoots to at least a number two, and stops plopping out number twos.  Do Yu Understand (ft Tory Lanez & Gunna).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Jose Ramirez fouled a ball off his knee and was carted off the field.  *long, painful swallow*  Say what now?  Thankfully, it turned out Jose Ramirez simply has a knee contusion and was carted off the field because he had reached his steps for the day.  *claps hands*  “Okay, guys, call me a cab, my FitBit says I’m done-zo.”  That’s Jose Ramirez once he reaches 10,000 steps.  I hear ya, Jo-Ram!  I once sat down on an escalator because I had reached my “floors” for the day.  I’m not over-exercising and dying young.  Nuh-uh!  You don’t mess with age expectancy.  I’m already down on Ramirez in a non-sexual way, so this doesn’t change my stance on him, and, if you like him, it doesn’t sound like it should change your feelings either, since he appears healthy.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

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NL WestNL Central | NL East || AL West | AL Central | AL East

I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics.  You never know who the statistics are coming against.  Baseball-Reference did, however, have an amazing tool last year that attempted to quantify the quality of opposing pitchers or batters faced during spring training games on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being MLB talent and 1-3 being high A to low A level.  This tool is great, but it averages all the Plate Appearances or batters faced.  You would still need a deeper dive to see if your stud prospect smacked a donger off of Chris Sale or off of your kid’s future pony league baseball coach.  So what should we watch for in March when we’re starved for the crack of the bat?  Ignore “best shape of their life” stories and Spring Training statistical leaderboards.  Pay attention to injuries and lineup construction and position battles!

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We’ve done it!  We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings.  Give yourself a big round of applause.  I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do?  Oh, yeah, you read them.  No wonder why your hands can still clap.  Okay, let’s get to it because this post is like 5,000 words long and I wrote it with my toes.  C’mon, pinkie toe, push down the shift key!  Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  All projections listed are mine and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2019 fantasy baseball:

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