Please see our player page for Anthony DeSclafani to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Hola Razzamigos! Welcome to your Razzball weekly fantasy baseball injury report. First, please ensure you buckle your safety belts, secure your tray table in the upright position, and read the safety pamphlet in the seat pocket in front of you. Second, I have traditionally added intra-team roster transactions and/or replacements for injured folks. I am […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On Sunday, Jose Urquidy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.36, which, honestly, is kinda whatever, until you hear this one. The Giancarlo homer (his 17th) in the 7th was the first hit by the Yankees in 16 1/3 IP, and nearly 41 hours. *letting out the longest woof known to man* On Saturday, Cristian Javier didn’t come up short (7 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, one walk, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.73). Well, he kinda did, since the Astros needed two more pitchers for the combined no-hitter in Yankee Stadium. After the game, there was an interview with Cristian Javier where he thanked God multiple times, so as we thought, God hates the Yankees. It’s a brutal way to lose a game, but it’s gotta be demoralizing to hear the Big Man Upstairs hates your guts. Listen, no-hit me, talk that trash, but thank God afterwards proving God hates me? That’s soul-crushing. Actually, I’m a bit scared to write about the no-hitter. The Clay Holmes’s official scorer might go in and change a ground ball to a hit just to feel something. Welp, we got ourselves a top 100 starts of the year page, and you can see for yourself where Javier landed with that gem. If you got sonavabenched by that one, well, God might not like you either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Takes off Hello Kitty headphones, places head on the train tracks. Faintly off in the distance, I can hear the very subtle call of exuberance. A very, small yay. That’s the sound of the one fantasy baseball owner who has Isaac Paredes in their lineup for his three-homer night (3-for-3, 4 RBIs, 6th, 7th, and 8th homer). I’ll be real with you, I was sweating this one for Mark Whiten. Back in 1993, Whiten glued four baseballs to his hand back, and he ain’t trying to get a new member of the club. For those of you singing, “I love a Paredes,” I know. This would’ve been Ethel Merman’s best day in fantasy baseball. RIP, you bussin’ Queen. Any hoo! Hard to hit three homers and not be a schmotato, so I could see grabbing Paredes, but Cash is there. Cash’s favorite movie? Platoon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve prayed to the House of Mustache, knelt before the King of Knows-A-Thing, drank from the Fantasy Master Lothario’s Kool-Aid, wept into the Cup of What Am I Doing With Jose Berrios, farted in the direction of everyone who drafts a starter early, then you did not enjoy Gerrit Cole (7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.14) last night. No worries, we are here for each other during these difficult days. If one of you reading this had Cole go last night, I am screaming, “Infidel,” at you while spraying you with vape juice (it’s all I have handy). We must live together without the aces and die together without the aces. Y’all who are sneaking aces are cheating and you best sleep with your eyes open. If you really want to know how Cole’s doing (why?), he’s doing great. His peripherals look as great as they’ve been post-Spider Tack — 11.6 K/9, 2.4 BB/9, 2.73 xFIP. The best ever he’s looked? Meh, not really. That was in Houston. The best he’s looked with the Yankees? Borderline acceptable to say that. Honestly, he’s great. Remember, it’s not about us missing out on Cole, it’s about the guys we’re able to get later in place of him. For unstints, his opponent last night: Shane McClanahan (6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.81). Imagine seeing both Cole and McClanahanananananananan’s numbers this year and being like, “That’s why you draft Cole in the 1st round!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At one point, the Brewers’ color man, Bill Schroeder said, “Looks effortless, doesn’t it?” And no truer thing has been said. The next closest truest thing is when I said, “It would almost be worth being on death row for a crime you didn’t commit, just to have your life VO’d by Dateline’s Keith Morrison.” Brewers’ pitching coaches make everyone better — they turned Eric Lauer into 1986 Roger Clemens — but when they have something to work with, like Corbin Burnes (6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.75)? Well, then the entire enterprise is firing on all cylinders. Just an absolute joy to watch. Sure, I don’t draft top starters, but I appreciate them just the same. 26 swings and misses, best of the season. Unfair cutters? Oh, he had some of those. Filthy curves? He threw some of those too. Elevated 97 MPH fastballs? Yeah, there were those too. Didn’t really understand in the preseason when people were drafting starters high, but even more confounding were the people drafting starters before Burnes. He is the best starter in baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In November, White Sox front office contacts Eloy Jimenez to discuss his offseason conditioning, and he’s like, “Conditioning? Yeah, of course, I’m doing offseason conditioning,” then he looks in the mirror in his shower and smiles, hair filled with conditioner. Eloy Jimenez gets himself ready for each game with a very special pregame warm-up. He warms up and opens a button on his shirt. Warms up more, and opens another button. I was curious why Statcast said Eloy Jimenez’s exit velocity was “one to three weeks into each season,” but now I see what they meant. Seriously, though, what is going on?! Last year, he jumped for a home run ball that was 75 feet past his reach, and knocked himself out for months, and this weekend he strains his hamstring by running like an absolute madman through 1st base. Someone needs to pull him aside and be like, “Yo, my main man, you’re here to swing hard and hit homers. You can’t run fast, you don’t have Inspector Gadget arms to catch home runs. Just swing hard. That’s it.” I love this guy so much and he causes me so much pain. Almost as much pain as he causes himself. So, he will be out for six to eight weeks, and Tony La Russa will still find reasons to bench Andrew Vaughn! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Jazz Chisholm Jr. (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) was moved back to the leadoff spot. Whatever was worked out between Jazz and Don Mattingly was worked out behind closed doors. There’s no way of knowing. What happened, if I had to guess, was Jazz said to Don, “I’m sorry for drawing a mustache on all the photos of you around the clubhouse. The Rollie Fingers-curl was especially inconsiderate. I still think your machismo is being undersold clean-shaven, but I respect your opinion.” Then Don replied, “And I’m sorry I said your parents have no taste for naming you after the worst Ken Burns doc.” Then later on, Jazz heard someone named John, thought it sounded too much like Don, and said this:

So, the Jazz drama’s prolly not done yet. I’ll admit to maybe being too reactionary about Jazz being a Sell in the 1st week because he was hitting 9th, and I’m glad Don came to his senses. Also, in this game, Jesus Sanchez (2-for-3, 3 runs and his 3rd homer), hit his third homer, and looks every bit of the sleeper I called him to be in the preseason. Speaking of sleepers, Rudy tells me the title means P = Pablo, Js = Jesus and Jazz. Mmmkay, and the Pablo Lopez (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 0.52) I was very worried about in the preseason looked as good as the Rodon and Kershaw, who I was equally worried about. It’s a long season though, and it’s not exactly actionable to say Pab-Lo will just get hurt, but, well, that was the concern with his shoulder. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Look, I understand that Connor-eyed Joe makes no sense, but if you came to one of my posts looking for sense, boy do I have some parentheses to sell you. (Hint, I like parentheses.) But yes, I’d like to imagine that something akin to the phrase above was going through Blake Treinen’s head in his first appearance on opening day when he gave up a game-defining homerun to one previously mentioned Connor Joe. And while there isn’t quite too much stock that can be put into what is now just 0.03% of the season completed, it’s not like we can’t dream on just a handful of games. I mean, the Padres are 4-1, that’ll totally last, right? (*Cries into alcoholic beverages. All of them.) But back to Joe, it’s no secret that the Rockies outfield is a bit crowded with Grichuk, Blackmon, Bryant, Hilliard and Daza. Combined that with the fact that Connor’s development and pedigree has been more of a slow-burn (with the majority of games in the minor leagues), but he’s always had a keen sense of the plate, sustaining strong career marks in both BB% and K% along with a bit of pop. And not for nothing, but his 19 plate appearances so far are tied with Bryant, and already more than the rest of his OF peers, something to keep an eye on. Connor-eyed perhaps? Feels so good!

Join me after the jump for some more random facts, hot takes, and other robust ruminations (classy content folks) on the Kwan, Jo Adell morphing into Pedro Cerrano from Major League and how long Kyle Farmer will keep plowing the field. Is it just me, or does that sound sexual? And is it just me, or does plowing the field not really equate to hitting well? Eff it, we’ve typed this far…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today concludes the fantasy baseball sleepers‘ portion of our program. *nudges homeless woman sleeping on my couch that I tried to get Cougs to agree to a threesome with* No more sleepers, Francine. Meh, I’ll let her rest. Like the 2nd basemen to target or outfielders to target, this post is necessary. You need to target the right names at the end of the draft for starters. Last year’s starters to target post included Marcus Stroman, Chris Bassitt, Tyler Mahle, Kevin Gausman, John Means, and Nathan Eovaldi, who I apparently can never get enough of. They’ve moved way up ranks this year with one making the jump to my top 20 starters, and, well, can you believe ESPN ranked Gausman 272nd overall last year and left Eovaldi unranked? As I always say, starters are available later. As with other target posts, these guys are being drafted after the top 200 overall. Also, all Steamer hitter projections are updated just about every day (mostly small adjustments), and all 2022 fantasy baseball rankings are updated. Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Looking at the overall 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, the top 80 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball is from around 225 overall to 275 overall, which is just about the end for 12-team mixed leagues.  This is your late fourth, mostly fifth thru the beginning of the sixth starters. This is just about it for 12 team leagues, though the last tier in this post is still in 12-team league territory, so you’ll have to wait until the next post to finish off that tier. Don’t worry, on that next post, I’ll be by with another 70-ish pitchers for those in deeper leagues, and/or dynasty and keeper leagues. Or for those that just like to read about fantasy baseball while the world burns around them. I fall into that latter camp. Our subscriptions are up and running, and that comes with our online Fantasy Baseball War Room — now for auction drafts, AL-Only, NL-Only, Best Ball and more. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve gone over the final 2021 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball — we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle is to porn. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2022 rookies. Let’s boogie to the next year, boogiers! Oh, and one thing I think people might enjoy if you’ve been reading Razzball for a while, Tehol’s on national TV without pants:

Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Norm MacDonald death hit me hard and I went down a two-hour rabbit hole of old clips of him, and it was the best waste of two hours. This clip was one of my favorites (don’t ask me to choose my favorite, it would be like choosing my favorite child if I had children — though, honestly, it doesn’t seem that hard to choose a favorite child. You have, say, three kids, you can’t choose one that you like more? That feels like a you problem more than a them problem, anyway.). Bonus is Bob Einstein is in it, and we recently lost him too:

“Little did it matter; Croce would be dead within a year.” I am slayed. Well, thanks for indulging me. Now on a completely unrelated subject, Lewin Diaz! Have people been burned bad (bad Leroy Brown) by Marlins’ rookies? Jazz has been fine. What’s the problem here? I like Jesus Sanchez, no one seems to agree. I like Lewin Diaz (2-for-4, and two homers), no one else does. It seems at least. He now has five homers in 60 plate appearances, and that’s coming off a 20-homer Triple-A season (that was in 74 games). For 2022, does Lewin Diaz get the 1st base job? Not sure with Jesus Aguilar. If the NL gets the DH, then that might be moot. For this year, he’s a power corner man, but Lewin Diaz in 2022 fantasy could be an easy 30-homer guy, who might hit .220. If he gets enough junk, he might get 35+ homers. Guess you could say he hits junk yard, dog. Not the meanest of dogs, though. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?