I have an unpopular opinion, that I know will never fly. Pants with magnet buttons. Okay, I have another one: knock people over the head and when they wake, tell them they’re on Mars and film it. Like Survivor but more panicked. My final unpopular opinion, allow teams to forfeit. I know in today’s charged political climate it’s not cool to say anything bad about herbathrowdites, but hitters pitching is stupid. It’s okay for a quick laugh, but a team has obviously forfeited if they’re pitching Jace Peterson. Just let them throw a white flag, and call the game. Of course, this would be wildly unpopular with fans who paid a lot of money to see nine innings, but are people sticking around in a 19-3 game. I don’t know, maybe they are. So, yesterday, Xander Bogaerts (2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) collected his 100th RBI and 22nd homer. Just Dong Martinez (3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 42nd, a number I thought was retired. Mookie Betts joined the 30/30 club (more on him after the jump). Blake Swihart went 3-for-8, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (6), inching closer to Buster Posey’s year-long homer total. Rafael Devers (5-for-8, 3 runs, 6 RBIs) stole the show, hitting his 20th and 21st homer. I’ve collected 1,000 praying mantises and joined them in a prayer circle that feels insectually correct, hoping Devers doesn’t push up his 2019 fantasy value in this final week. I talked a bit about this on the last podcast, but Devers is only 21 years old, and could easily be a middle of the order bat for the Red Sox next year. That’s very good, assuming every team they’re facing doesn’t forfeit. Or assuming every team does. I don’t know, let’s figure this out together! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Ken Giles to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Kendrys hit it? Yes he can. Blue Jays first baseman/DH Kendrys Morales homered in his fifth straight game Friday night and now has a total of six jacks in five nights! KEN-DRYS do it again!? I don’t know! The B-Jays have won four in a row and Morales extended his hitting streak to eight games and is hitting .571 in the past week with five multi hit games, seven runs scored and nine RBI. Kendrys is available in over half of fantasy leagues and he’s hotter than Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson’s sex life. Which I hear is very steamy. That was a fairly on trend reference though, right? Speaking of trendy, it’s Players Weekend, HE’LL YALL! That means dope cleats, mostly ugly/funny uniforms (I can’t tell if I like the Rays hats or hate them so much), and of course: terrible nicknames. This is a good opportunity to tell if your favorite player has a good personality or not. Some of the nicknames are clever or fun (SABANERO SOY? yes please, and Brad Boxberger gets millennials), but if a guy just adds a -y or an -ie he’s probably a pretty lame dude so I guess it’s a good thing he’s so good at baseball. Kendrys chose to wear “MONINA,” which I tried Googling but couldn’t get a proper translation so I’ll just assume it means “Only Hits In August.” Well, it’s still August for another week and despite how long he chose to wait to get en fuego, Kendrys Morales was a BUY and is one of the hottest hitters in the league right and I’d ride him while he’s hitting all the baseballs.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night featuring more dumb nicknames than you’ve ever wanted:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rick Porcello said of his catcher, Sandy Leon, “He’s the best catcher I’ve ever thrown to. Period.” It’s a shame people don’t end include other forms of punctuation when speaking. “I am the Red Sox ace. Question mark. No, I forgot about Chris Sale. Period. Actually, exclamation mark. The best Red Sox pitchers. Colon. Not Bartolo. Period. I’m going to list them. Period. Okay. Comma. Damn. Comma. I apostrophe V-E confused myself.” Yesterday, Porcello threw a sparkler — 7 IP, 2 hits, 0 walks, 1 ER, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.04, and roped a double to right, which is fun in a dog on rollerblades-type way, but is kinda irrelevant. What’s less irrelevant, Rick Porcello is pitching better this year than his Cy Young year, though with less ERA to show for it, obviously. That could change in the final six weeks if he finds his groove. Period. Ya know what, exclamation mark. Strike that, interrobang. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, the Jays’ catcher prospect Danny Jansen was called up. Finally, the Jays are ready to move on with their prospects. *Vlad Jr. waves his hand, trying to get their attention* It took long enough, but finally the time is here. *Vlad Jr. takes out a bullhorn and blows it* Did you hear something? The Jays did…Danny Jansen’s bat! Jansen looks like an offensive-minded catcher in the mold of Jerry Tomato Realmuto (think 15/7/.280). I grabbed Jansen in one league, because, I had Cervelli, who has a magnet for foul balls on his face like Stormy Daniels, and Russell Martin is going to play third while Yangervis deals with an oblique strain and, shucks, if only the Jays had someone else to play third. *Vlad Jr. marches with color guards’ flags, waving them. Finally, Vlad Jr. sighs.* Damn, too bad. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Join the 2018-19 Razzball Fantasy Premier League for a chance at prizes! Don’t know about Fantasy Soccer? That’s okay, Smokey is here to walk with you throughout this journey of exploration and an absurd amount of accent marks on player names. So probably hide all your snacks. It’ll be a long journey…
Maybe they thought they were safe by bringing Kelvin Herrera as a Linus blanket until Doolittle returned. Maybe they were comfy with the veterans that they had lined up just in case. Well that “just in case” just happened. Herrera is now on the DL and Madson assumes the role of all roles. (Until Sean Doolittle comes back from a stressed out foot.) The Nats had such promise in preseason and even after the acquisition of Kelvin, to be a good bullpen. Former closers, like most men, are there to do their job and file their income tax returns on time like big boys. Well, they disappointed me and definitely the owners of Doolittle. Since July 3rd, or basically the last time Doolittle pitched, they have four saves. Four, fore, for! Only ahead of teams like the Padres, Blue Jays and Angels. By the way, if you are scoring at home the Angels haven’t had a save in 27 games. That is actually more mind-blowing than a team with decent starting pitching to only get four whole damn saves. Makes save-chasing on Madson or the like seem glum. So save your FAAB bucks for another day because Sean should be back within the fortnight, no idea if he mastered his emote dances yet though. Not that it really matters, but a save earned is a save kept. I know that works with pennies, wasn’t sure if that helped with counting stats at all. The season is coming down the stretch, do you have what it takes oh glutens of the SAGNOF? If you feel weary or just on cruise control because of Fantasy Football, than relax take a gander on some useful bullpen stuff, followed by the rankings…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, I am Hunter Renfroe. I have homered in four straight games. I am also your father that is why I play for the Padres. Please, call me daddy. Not sure why I’m talking like a robot. Elon Musk has bought my body and repurposed my soul. By the by, you know what’s fun to do, next time you’re in a quiet place where people will be able to hear your phone, have Siri say, “You’re the reason the robots take over the world in the future.” And have Siri keep saying it while you look at the person next to you, then finally say to your phone, “Me or this guy?” Any hoo! Hunter Renfroe (2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 12th homer) sent the Padres into the Space Force! He has power (still makes no sense he’s hitting third, don’t care what he’s done), and I’d grab him if you need that. Him and Franmil Reyes (3-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th homer, and third homer in four games) have put on a show these last few days. Not sure why they’d hit the Brewers hard, they just traded for Jonathan Schoop. He’s a good pitcher, right? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Felix Hernandez went 6 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.73 vs. Bartolo Colon – 7 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.18. Or is that Bartolo Colon, weighing in at 518 pounds from parts unknown and ratios you don’t want to know? This matchup was billed as, “F-Her/Colon, rated NC-17. Or maybe simply NR, as in Not Recommended.” All kidding aside, F-Her’s fallen so far, Colon is outpitching him, and Colon is not outpitching anyone else. That’s a Trump tweeted, “Sad!” On the bright side, Rougned Odor (2-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 14th homer) has rediscovered our love. Two years ago, Odor beat up Jose Bautista. Last year, he beat up his fantasy owners. This year, he’s beating back the beat like Vinny from The Jersey Shore. I’m glad I went back in on him because making up is sweeter than caramel honey on your bed sheets. (Is that an R. Kelly song? It should be.) I’d contend (for the featherweight title) that Odor really hasn’t done anything different this year. Yes, his walk rate is nearly double, but his BABIP has turned around. Here’s what that leads me to believe: You get a little bit luckier, so you don’t feel compelled to swing at everything, so you get more selective. It’s a self-fullfilling prophecy in direct opposition to what happened to him last year. Does this mean I’m going back in him for a third year in a row next year? Damn skippy! He can’t fail me again! (He totally can!) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, the non-waiver trade deadline has come and gone, and now those of us who have unrealistically been hoarding relief pitchers praying for some of them to end up at the back end of their team’s bullpens can sort through our rosters and go on with our lives. (Sure, there will most likely be a few more moves made before the “real” trade deadline, but I’m going to throw caution to the wind and finally dump David Hernandez in the leagues I’ve been holding him!) Since those of you in deep leagues have most likely already figured out that fellows like Austin Meadows (now up to 35% owned in CBS leagues), Tyler O’Neill (22%), Ken Giles (40%), and even Jose LeClerc (20%) may have had a serious value spike based on moves that have been made, we’re going to do some extra-deep digging this week. All of the players listed today are owned in 5% or fewer of CBS leagues, so this will truly be an ultra-deep league group (but if you have comments or questions of the slightly-less-insanely-deep variety, throw them out there – it’s always fun to remember what it’s like to have actual options in the (oxymoron alert!) “real” fantasy baseball world.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jays traded Roberto Osuna to the Astros for Ken Giles. Basically, they traded headaches. If the Jays and Astros wanted to do what was best for baseball, they would have Giles and Osuna step into a steel cage, right at the Canadian border, and whoever was able to get out, that would be who would continue on. It can have lots of little Canadian touches too, like a maple syrup hazard and scaffolding designed by Bret Hart. “Giles looks like he’s going to escape–Ooh, a Mountie greets him with poutine in the eye. Would’ve thought he’d look out for that, but it never o’CURD’d to him.” “Mean” Gene Okerlund with the pun! I like this trade for both teams. Your piece of shizz for my piece of shizz. All trades should be this clearcut. As for fantasy, Roberto Osuna should take over in Houston when he returns next week, but Hector Rondon had been pitching well (until his last outing). Might not be Osuna immediately, but I’d imagine he gets in the 9th by his third appearance. Pretty much same deal with Ken Giles. Though, there’s a lot more emphasis on Ken with Giles. Ken he? I don’t know, but the Jays also have less desirable options, so I could see Giles getting saves even quicker than Osuna. In most leagues, I’d grab both. Or whichever makes it out of the steel cage.
Gotta think Ken Giles punched his own ticket.
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 30, 2018
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Was thinking about this the other day. Bear with me, it’s not fully formed (like the rest of this shizz). Is there a higher upside move than becoming a magician? David Blaine scored, Penn & Teller seemed to have done all right for themselves, Siegfried & Roy did fine until that white cat went ape…But how about all of the 18-year-old’s who are like, “Mom, Dad, I’m declining the full ride to Brown. I want to do this…” *pulls sheet off table to reveal their daughter sawed in half* “Oh, crap. Marci?” The world is littered with failed magicians! You want upside? There’s no greater upside call than deciding you want to be a magician for the rest of your life. The Indians team? They’re all freakin’ magicians! Hey, Jose Ramirez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 26th and 27th homer), you’re David Blaine! Francisco Lindor (1-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 25th homer)? You’re David Blaine! Michael Brantley (2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs)? You’re David Blaine! You’re all David Blaine! We even have some David Blaine magic for Jason Kipnis (2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games). If you went Francisco Lindor and Jose Ramirez with your 1st two picks, you’re also a magician, according to the Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. (The other way to look at this theory is only a handful of knuckleheads are actually stupid enough to want to be a magician, and the world is not littered with failed magicians and no one is turning down a free ride to an Ivy League school to become a magician, but we don’t talk about this part of the Upside Magician Theory.) Thank you, Jose Ramirez and Francisco Lindor and all the Indians, I believe your magic is real. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?