Sean Diego, Manaeafornia

So, Sean Manaea and the A’s are both heading south. Manaea to the Padres, and the A’s metaphorically, as they trade away one of their last pieces. Frankie Montas walking around the A’s clubhouse like that Will Smith meme. No, the other one. No, not that one. No, he’s not smacking anyone. The one where he’s by himself. The long-awaited sequel, No Moneyball, being directed by Werner Herzog, and it’s a grizzly bear mauling teddy bears dressed in A’s jerseys. Any hoo! I’ve loved Sean Manaea for a long time now, writing a Sean Manaea sleeper, and nothing changes on any of that. With the humidor in Petco, and lack of three miles of foul territory, Manaea’s ratios might take a hit, while his Wins get a boost. We’ll have to see if this is the Manaecea the Padres need. Pun points! Okay, the top 40 starters were updated. The top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball, and the top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Haven’t moved Mike Clevinger yet, but it sounds like he’s starting the year on the IL with knee soreness. He was never throwing a full season, nor Nick Martinez, so I’m slow-playing what to do with them for now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Matt Beaty – Padres traded for him from the Dodgers. If you can’t beat ’em, Beaty ’em.

Jed Lowrie – Signed with the A’s. Personally, I love the scene in No Moneyball when Billy Beane decided to field a team long on nostalgia that manages to leave fans longing for a better time.

Brent Honeywell Jr. – Shut down when his elbow showed a stress reaction. Brent’s gonna be a Sr. by the time he gets his career back on track.

Jacob deGrom – The Mets cursed? Yes, of course. But how? Was it a curse that only someone who could drink chicken blood could lift? Or was it cursed, like, was it the F bomb? On Friday, as the sun was at its peak, a long shadow of a stethoscope cast over Jacob deGrom. Told ya so’s about deGrom are tired. Of course he wasn’t staying healthy. Legitimately afraid of having tomatoes thrown at my head, but the people who were pushing deGrom up to the top 10 overall because he threw three innings in Spring Training were, well, I’d like to one day have their optimism. Yeah, that’s the ticket — optimism. Only wish everyone who was drafting a starter in the 1st round were all able draft deGrom. As I say in the top 20 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball (which was updated for deGrom), I gain nothing from deGrom getting injured. It sucks, but also felt inevitable. Take this time to reach out to your friends, who are Mets fans. Let them vent to you. Be the shoulder deGrom can’t. Tylor Megill was also updated in the top 100 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball. He once again has value.

Max Scherzer – Out with a tight hamstring. Scherzer said it wasn’t serious, adding, “We have the best medical professionals here with the Mets, so I’ll be fine.”

Albert Pujols – Signed with the Cards. This will reunite Pujols and the Cards for his final season. Like when there was a run on toilet paper in March of 2020, there will be many Busch Pujols curtain calls.

Andrew Vaughn – Out for a week or two, due to a hip pointer injury that he suffered while going for it on defense in Spring Training. Huh, weird. What could possibly go wrong with a White Sox outfielder playing too hard on defense in the spring? Didn’t move Vaughn in my 1st basemen rankings, because he might only miss a few games.

A.J. Pollock – Traded to the White Sox. Chicago’s Pollock history is legion. Pollock is gonna coming up to bat with “Cheeburger Cheeburger Cheeburger” playing in the background. This should solve the issue of random White Sox players playing out of position and hurting themselves, but it doesn’t exactly help Pollock, unless he’s been craving some really great kielbasa. He was updated in the top 80 outfielders.

Adam Haseley – Traded to the White Sox. Spooky how they acquired A.J. Pollock’s backup before Pollock. He was updated in the top 100 outfielders.

Reese McGuire – Traded to the White Sox. This won’t be the first time Reese McGuire’s been covering himself in White Sox in public. Catchers rankings were updated.

Lance Lynn – Torn meniscus and out until mid-May. A torn meniscus, but who’s counting? Little old math joke. Where my Sumerians at?! Lynn felt like a lock for 180+ IP and a great way to stabilize my pitching staffs, and now I feel uneasy. He was moved down to the top 60 starters.

Zack Collins – Traded to the Jays. Can’t see him getting much of a shot in Toronto, except for Moderna.

Ken Giles – Has an issue with his middle finger. Yeah, eff you too, pal! I honestly don’t know who the closer is for the Mariners. Was kinda expecting Giles to get the job, but now I have a combo of Drew Steckenrider, and Paul Sewald with Diego Castillo a bit further back in the top 500.

Matt Brash – Made the club as the 5th starter for the Mariners. Brash, indeed. Just went over him in Friday’s Buy/Sell, and I would absolutely grab him.

Craig Kimbrel – Traded to the Dodgers. I was pretty out on him in the preseason, falling for LOL Russa saying they weren’t looking to trade Kimbrel. You got me this time, LOL! Kimbrel moves into the top 500 area around where I have Kenley Jansen, and jumped about 100 spots in the rankings. Think that was the biggest preseason positive movement for one player. The Bullpen Chart was updated

Gavin Lux – With the trade of A.J. Pollock, Lux should see everyday playing time now. And…Well…Hmm…I’m still not a fan. Has he ever done anything? Serious question. Has he? Okay, I can’t hear you when you just talk into your computer screen, but Lux should see at-bats. He was updated in the 2nd basemen rankings.

Tony Gonsolin – Made the rotation. Dave Roberts, contradictory to everything I’ve ever said about him, made the right move. I’ll never say another bad word about Dave Roberts (today).

Luis Castillo – Expected to start the year on the IL, due to his sore right shoulder. Don’t want him to be seriously injured, but there is a part of me thinking about how smart I can sound by not saying his last name all year. He was already moved in my top 40 starters, into an area where I would no longer draft.

Dylan Floro – Dealing with arm soreness, and the Marlins are dealing with not really having a decent alternative, so the Marlins traded for Cole Sulser and Tanner Scott. However much Beane is asking for Lou Trivino, it’s apparently more than Jimmy Yacabonis and cash. Top 500 was updated with my best guesses for the Marlins (Sulser, Bender, Floro) and Orioles (Tate, Lopez).

Chris Archer – Signed with the Twins. If the Twins could sign a full-body-sized lunchpail with arms, they would.

Jake McGee – Announced as the Giants’ closer. My only regret was not cackling louder when people were drafting Camilo Doval in the top 150 overall. Okay, my other regret was not drafting McGee everywhere. Since January, I did have McGee higher than Doval in my rankings. Hope you paid attention.

Evan Longoria – Will miss at least six weeks with finger surgery, and Giants also lost Lamonte Wade Jr. That’s okay, the Giants will just turn two very old guys who we thought were retired into All-Stars. What’s Mike Morse and Joe Panik up to?

Josh Rojas – Grade 2 oblique strain. By Josh, I wish I took molly. Wrap my players in mummy-wear and protect them! Between this and Lynn, I forgot how much injuries suck the big ol’ one at Suckfest 2022. Rojas was updated at the 2nd basemen rankings. Removed 100 at-bats from his projections, which might be optimism or pessimism, it’s all oblique. Looked at Drew Ellis as a possible guy to put a bid on in FAAB in deep leagues for power, then I backed off, then put in a bid anyway. He has 30-homer power in Triple-A, and might hit .180 in the majors.

Geraldo Perdomo – Dbags might look to him as their starting shortstop with Josh Rojas and Nick WebMD sidelined. Here’s what Prospect Itch had to say about the Italian coastal city Perdomo, “(He) got a lot of well-deserved love for being among the youngest players to hold his own in 2019’s Arizona Fall League. He reminds of a young Robinson Cano for the way he stands right on the top of the plate and uses that angle to his advantage, working deep counts and walking as much or more than he strikes out. It’s a little unfathomable that as a 19-year-old in High A, he walked 12.3 percent of the time while striking out in just 9.6 percent of his 114 plate appearances. This came after he split Ks and BBs right down the middle in A ball at 14.5 percent. He might have to get a little more aggressive in his approach as he gets attacked in the zone at the higher levels, but if ain’t broke . . . .Speaking of which, I’d like to break Grey.” What the eff, my dude? Put in waiver claims on Perdomo in NL-Only leagues, and am monocle’ing in mixed leagues. Perdomo was added to the top 20 shortstops.

Chris Stratton – Pirates announced a committee for their closer. That committee: Stratton and whoever else they can use that won’t make more money in arbitration if they get saves.

Oneil Cruz – Sent down until Pirates can find him pants. They’re saying roughly two weeks. Mr. Big & Tall has supply chain issues. Honestly, I think the Pirates were just strictly adhering to Short King Spring.

Diego Castillo – Sounds like he made the Pirates. The good news is, well, that. The bad news is the Pirates didn’t feel the need to manipulate his service time so how good is he? Due to Itch’s post yesterday, I bid on Castillo everywhere. Am I super excited about getting him? Not yet, no. He looks like a 15/7/.270 hitter. Prospectonator doesn’t think much of him either.

Hunter Greene – Made the rotation. Check out my 1st Buy/Sell of the year for more slow, raspy breathing on the subject.

Luke Jackson – MRI revealed damage to his UCL. Damn, that MRI needs a spoiler alert.

Riley Greene – Fractured foot and out indefinitely. *calmly steps inside a padded room, screams for 15 hours straight, calmly steps out* Sounds like he’ll miss two months, and Greene was removed from the top 500.

Spencer Torkelson – Announced that he made the team. *calmly steps inside the padded room, screams joyfully for 15 hours straight, calmly steps out* His projections were upped slightly in the 1st basemen rankings, but I was already really high on him.

Wade Miley – Shut down with elbow inflammation. That could lead to a spot for the Man of Steele. That’s Justin, not an actual Superman. Miley was removed from the rankings.

Garrett Crochet – Expected to have Tommy John  surgery. Hopefully, when he’s having the surgery, the doctor doesn’t hear the patient’s name, get confused and think he’s supposed to crochet his elbow.

Grayson Rodriguez – Will start the year at Triple-A. Only another five or six seasons of seasoning and he’ll be ready to go!

Luis Rengifo – Sent down and the Angels’ 2B job is coming down to Duffy, and Wade. For the love of Bobby Grich, what a mess. Though, Wade will see righties and have some value in deep leagues for speed.

Reid Detmers – Made the 6th rotation spot on the Angels. A Detmers/Stassi battery translates to “Secret Police yelling at an ocean.” Love that! Here’s my Reid Detmers fantasy.

Trevor Story – Will start the year in the six hole. What’s the six hole, the left ear lobe? Mean’s while, Enrique Hernandez continues to hold nude pictures of Alex Cora as blackmail.

Joe Barlow – Rangers announced they might not go to Barlow immediately as the closer, and instead give fantasy baseballers agita by turning to Greg Holland and Spencer Patton. Unlike the Stratton/Bednar shituation, this feels more like Barlow will be the closer, but maybe eased into the role in April.

Pete Fairbanks – Fifty percent tear of his right lat muscle, and will be out at least six weeks, and was removed from my rankings. If you need to roster one player who sounds like he’d host an Iditarod, may I interest you in Sledmys Diaz.

Vidal Brujan – Optioned to the minors. Dying for Brujan to get called up, but, like an overdramatic actor, will have to die a bit longer.