*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson. Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children? Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children. Not really (yes, really). Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?! *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down* I’m okay! *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher* I can’t see! *screaming at intern* Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again. I’m still seeing blood though. Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13. The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him. That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Chris Stratton to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
I apologize for the misleading headline but neither the Mary-Kate or Ashley news story you’re looking for is here. I did it for the clicks! Elizabeth Olsen, however, is mentioned quite a bit throughout this post. And it’s not just because I’ve seen her with her shirt off. It’s because she is an extremely talented actress (do you even Martha Marcy May Marlene?). She’s also the Scarlet Witch and will destroy you with her red CGI powers if you try to #MeToo her. Speaking of extremely talented Olsons, Matt Olson went 3-for-4 Friday night with two home runs (10th and 11th) scoring three runs and driving in five. That’s now four homers in the past week for Olson, to go along with seven runs scored, seven RBI and a .269 batting average. He’s hotter than a New York minute, which is an Olsen Twins movie for the unindoctrinated. Matt hit 24 homers in 59 games last year but has amassed just 11 in 58 games so far this year. He struggled in May with a .216 batting average without Khris Davis there to protect him in the lineup, but still managed six homers. So maybe the 1.003 OPS from 2017 was a tad inflated, and yes, maybe his isolated power is down over 150 points from last season, Olson is still a 30 homer hitter, people. That means he owes you 19 from now until the end of September. Pro tip: that will help your fantasy team! If you need power, Olson has struggled enough in the early going that you can likely pry him from a frustrated owner, and if Friday was any indication he’s busting out of his funk and June could be shaping up to be a big month for the estranged Olson brother.
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday’s Cubs/Braves matinee was Jose Quintana (4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.23) vs. Julio Teheran (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 3.49). This start was billed as, “Was The Wind Blowing Out Or Do These Guys Suck?” A very quizzical billing. I don’t own Quintana, but I hear your calls to place a flag on a sound stage in Hollywood and say it’s the moon and continue to own Quintana or if it’s cheese. Guys (and five girls), things aren’t good — Ks are way down; walks are way up; velocity is down; this is the worst he’s looked in the majors. Now, the good news, it’s relatively good, at least. He had a 5.60 ERA last through the end of May last year, and a 3.41 ERA in the last 124 IP last year. He also upped his Ks last June thru September and, until we see different, I think he could take the same route to success this year. Or not (nice hedge, dopey!), but I’d hold to see. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trevor Cahill hit the DL. Fun Fact! If you have Hill in your last name, there’s a 100% chance you’re injury prone and will be on the DL for the majority of the season. It’s a curse that began when Curt Schilling put ketchup on his ankle. With Cahill being DL’d, the A’s brought up Dustin Fowler to, uh, hit. Yo, A’s, you lose a pitcher and bring up a hitter? Michael Lewis is right, you do do things differently! Speaking of do-do, how about those A’s?! I’m being unnecessarily harsh. A thousand apologies to the 1,200 A’s fans that are three-quarters of a mile away from the field, just past foul territory. Any hoo! Here’s what Prospect Ralph said about Fowler, “Fowler hints at an enticing set of fantasy tools. His combination of power, steals, and the ability to hit for contact make him a potential five category contributor in 5×5 roto formats. Could return a .270/20/20 season if his surgically-repaired knee holds up. If only we could surgically repair Grey’s brain.” What the hell, my dude! Fowler should start at center over Canha, who should now platoon with Joyce, who should be out of the league. I didn’t grab Fowler anywhere, but I could see it for a power/speed combo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Eeeeeh, sexy Pirate
Op, op, op, op
Oppan Kingham style
Eeeeeh, sexy Pirate
Op, op, op, op
By now this post will most likely feel like it’s late to the party, but since I only write once a week there’s not much I can do about that. The word on the street is that Kingham will get another turn in the rotation. I guess a near perfect game more or less forced their hand. Way to do a good job with that tough decision there Pittsburgh. However, Clint Hurdle did say that there were no promises after his second start. Looks like Kingham has another hurdle in front of him to keep from being sent back to Indianapolis. Perhaps another near perfect game will do the job.Please, blog, may I have some more?
According to Elias Sports Bureau, Nick Kingham retired the most batters to start a game since 1961 in a debut. Elias Sports Bureau also said, “There were sixteen cracks in the 5th floor’s tile closest to the bathroom, which is a new record for cracks in a tile.” Yo, Elias Sports Bureau might have OCD. On our top 100 starts of 2018 chart, Kingham registered in the top 10. According to Baseball-Reference, he’s the first pitcher to debut with 7+ IP and not have a baserunner reach scoring position. According to Kent Tekulve, Kingham was the first pitcher in a 1979 Pirates uniform not high on cocaine since Tekulve. In all, a terrific debut for Kingham — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 9 Ks. Originally, the Pirates planned on a one-and-done, hit-and-run, wham-bam-thank-you, young-man start for Kingham and see him get sent right back down, but they rightfully are having him travel with the team, and appear to be keeping him up. His Triple-A numbers (10.7 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 1.59 ERA) say this is the right move. I’d hold off for now in mixed leagues, but you should cyclops him with a monocle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Miguel Andujar went 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .316, and slugging around 4,000 in the last week. I think I know what is happening here. Yankees fans, in their meathead accent, are cheering him on, but he feels like he constantly has to re-announce himself to the fan base like they’ve forgotten about him. Imagine how maddening that must be. They scream, “ANDUJAR?!” And, Miguel, shakes his head, thinking to himself, “Why do they keep asking, ‘And you are?’ They know who I am, don’t they? Will I never be good enough? I guess I have to homer again.” And so it goes, so it goes. When Drury returns, Andujar might get squeezed for playing time, but right now I see no way they could ever bench him. Prospector Ralph and I talk a bit about Andujar on the podcast, and I mention how Andujar could outproduce Gleyber and be the Rookie of the Year. They will know, ‘And you are!’ Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
…And presenting our next award is Chance the Rapper and Grey the Napper. *I lean into the mic* “Thank you, it’s wonderful to be here. Did you know the inventor of Ping Pong originally named it Fing Fong? Yup, but he had terrible penmanship.” *no one laughs* “Oh, hey, there’s Jeff Daniels. My dad loves you, but calls you Jack Daniels. Then again, I’m not sure he’s talking about you. Anyway, the nominees for our first Teoscar are… Teoscar Hernandez, from years in the minors of 17 homers, 33 steals. Teoscar Hernandez, from the projections of 17/17 for this year. Finally, Tesocar Hernandez, playing a fire emoji in The Emoji Movie, who yesterday went 4-for-6, 2 runs, 4 RBIs, hitting .421, with his 1st homer, while coming a double short of the cycle. And the winner is… *fumbles with envelope* “Wow! Tesocar Hernandez.” “He was the only one nominated, and it’s called the Teoscars.” “Shut up, Chance! You’re ruining the ratings! By the way, to cover the weed smell in your house, you should open a Subway sandwich shop in your living room.” So, obviously Teoscar’s been all that and a swag bag of freebies, and I would grab him in all leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This preseason Gregory Polanco was a Capri Sun. Yes, the pouch drink that you need to stab 17 times to get the straw in. Crazy, right? What’s crazier is I have an explanation! Ready? Here we go, readers! There is something just completely gross about liquids in a pouch. Put some delicious nacho cheese in a ziplock bag. You do not want to eat that anymore. Seriously, cut the corner and squeeze it into your mouth. So nasty! An IV bag? Yeah, that’s appetizing. Why not grab a colostomy bag and cut out the middle man? Bagged liquids are gross. However — again with some stank! — HOWEVER, Capri Sun is surprisingly good. Okay, u-turn to Polanco. This preseason the Pirates looked like a mess. No one really wanted any of them. Marte had a suspension last year, but even he was kind of, “Well, he’s ranked here, so I guess I’ll take him.” Polanco, though? You didn’t even want him around pick 150 overall! It was a “Hmm…Take a boring MI or Polanco” pick. And a lot of you took Ian Kinsler instead! Yesterday, Gregory Polanco went 2-for-5 with two more homers, and is now up to 5 homers, and, as Anime Grey said in the first Buy, Sell, Hold video, Polanco is still a buy. Polanco is orange-flavored water in a silver pouch, the ultimate Capri Sun. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s nothing better than an April Fools’ prank that is so sly it’s barely perceptible as a prank. You don’t even know if it’s a gag. One year, I had a sound engineer friend make a recording that said, “This call is being recorded. A copy of that recording is available automatically to the police and the prosecutors.” Then used that to call my mom and tell her I was in jail for accidentally running down a family of four. “But mom the light was yellow!” Apparently, I overestimated how funny she’d find that phone call, and twelve years later, she still calls me the night before April Fools’ to remind me not to pull any pranks on her. This year the best prank I saw was one done by Major League Baseball. It was so slight, if you blinked you’d miss it. For their prank, they scheduled a half day on a Sunday. Since 1908, MLB has played a full schedule of games on Sunday. What a great joke! Well done, MLB. But, seriously, this is a joke, right? Any hoo! Know what’s not a joke, the love Trevor Williams has for Razzball, apparently:
Yesterday, Williams wasted no time to prove to me that his love for us is as strong as my love for him. He went 6 IP, 0 ER with zero hits, but he failed to locate as well, and walked five guys, while racking up only one strikeout. I believe his love for Razzball is only growing so this is just the beginning of great things to come. Notice spelling of ‘come,’ you sickos. On the reals, I like Williams for this year, and wrote a Trevor Williams sleeper for him this preseason. Anyway, here’s what I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?