Please see our player page for Dylan Floro to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The White Sox have been homer-less all season. Not literally. But it’s been bad. Andrew Vaughn (1-for-3) hit his 16th homer. It is so wild that he leads the White Sox in homers. White Sox all went to the offseason seminar at the Ramada titled, “Arraez and Shine,” hosted by Luis. This September Eloy Jimenez (0-for-3, 1 run) became the first White Sox player in a month with five or more homers. On the reals, that’s awful. Is it the humidor? Tony La Russa muttering, “Bunt” from the hospital bed he’s had them tow into the dugout? Or something else? I’m not sure, but it’s comically bad. Though, yesterday was a reprieve. Yasmani Grandal (2-for-3) hit his 5th homer. Yasmani is generous, more like Yasbarelyani. Yoan Moncada (4-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 10th homer. I’m not joking when I say it looked like the White Sox were taking batting practice vs. Hunter Gaddis. Gaddis sounds like gibberish for “Got his ass,” and they did, indeed. Elvis Andrus (1-for-5) hit his 14th homer, and will once again be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because otherwise would be malpractice, and you’d sue me, and I’d have to relocate to Mexico under an assumed identity, and get mixed up with a bunch of anarchists. Finally, Gavin Sheets (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 13th homer. Fun fact! I call my toilet, “Havin’ Shits.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, was not just our Independence Day. Yesterday, was the halfway point of the baseball season. So, Halfway to Independence from Jonathan India Day. You cannot tell me our forefathers just happened to put the Fourth of July on the exact midpoint of the baseball season by accident. They didn’t put hairspray on their platinum silver wigs like they were Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada and just happen to drop the doozy of the Declaration of Independence on baseball’s 81st game played just as a little oopsie-daisy on their Yankee Doodle like how your daddy did your mommy. No way! This is why baseball is the National Pastime. So, Happy 4th of July to even all you cowards who drafted starters early. Speaking of starters, Brayan Bello will start for the Red Sox this Wednesday. Bello will pitch for a scream. Take it Highlights, it’s yours! Bello was in the Itch’s top 50 starting pitcher prospects, saying, “Bello added strength and velocity over the lost minor league season and now features a mid-90s fastball with a little extra dotting the gun once in a while. He was successful enough before, as we’ve detailed in these pages, but now he’s striking out 36.9 percent of hitters in High-A and 31.1 percent in AA—a big jump from the 22.6 percent he posted in 2019. His fastball gets a bit too much for him to be a no-doubt starter unless he finds a nasty breaking ball to go along with his plus changeup. Would love to see him take that fastball and hit Grey.” Not cool, man! In a 15-team, mixed league, I grabbed him and I felt unhinged even as I was doing it, but I need something to Bello about. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time! Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, but I stay on top of thangs for the most part). And directly below are your Top 10 most valuable RP over the last week, courtesy of our super cool and filterable Last […]

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

Max Meyer has got *palms out, fanning them out in the shape of a rainbow* flash, kid! He’s got a 11+ K/9 in the minors and pinpoint control! Max Meyer has got *palms out, fanning them out in the shape of a rainbow* pizzazz, kid! He’s only six-feet-tall, but he’s got the heart of a gorilla that just took one in the keister for a little kid! Max Meyer *palms out, fanning them out in the shape of a rainbow* is the future, kid! He’s got only two pitches, but, boy, do they sing! Like Ethel Merman in a too-tight brassiere! Max Meyer is *palms out, fanning them out in the shape of a rainbow* stuck behind Elieser Hernandez? C’mon, anyone believe Max Meyer can’t get out from under that cloud of mediocre? He will be called up any day now and, when he is, he could be as good as the Marlins’ 2nd best pitcher, and, for those slow on the uptake, the Marlins have four great pitchers. If you missed out on George Kirby, then Max Meyer is your man. He’s got panache, and I’m not just saying that because I’m pretending to be his agent in 1950. Fix him up with a dame for photos! No one likes a bachelor, see! They wanna imagine themselves with him! In Prospect Itch’s top 25 starting pitcher prospects, Meyer’s been said to have a shot at being an ace-level asset. See, he’s got zing! Also, Prospect Hobbs just gave you his Max Meyer fantasy. We are full-court pressing Meyer, and that’s no bologna! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No hitters are funny, aren’t they? They’re baseball at its finest. Baseball thrives off of statistical anomalies. It’s why there’s so many Jayson Stark-types that spit at ya stuff like, “This is the first time a player has hit into a double play while his 1st base coach was in the 1st base coach’s box talking on a bluetooth to his mistress,” and other oddities. The no-hitter highlights the oddity. It takes great pitching to no-hit a team, but varying amounts of luck. Reid Detmers was on the leaning side of the scale for an extreme amount of luck. Well-struck balls right at fielders. Hit ’em where they ain’t the Rays ain’t did. It’s also incredibly funny that Detmers’s peripherals got worse from a no hitter, but you throw 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 walk and only two strikeouts, and that will happen. His ERA is now down to 3.77. A solid, unremarkable unhittable performance. One of baseball’s oddities. It’s another oddity that the highlight of a no-hitter was a home run by Anthony Rendon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Someone should start a class action lawsuit against the fantasy baseball ‘perts who told you to draft Liam Hendriks (1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.61) in the top 25 overall. Almost as bad as the ones who were drafting Emmanuel Clase in the first four rounds, even if he did get yesterday’s win. It’s inexcusable. For shame! Andres Gimenez (2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) started the Chi City meltdown in the 9th, homering off of Banks — can’t take that to you — and then Josh Naylor H.A.M. got on a roll. He should change his name to Josh, Naylor. Not as in his last name is Josh and it’s on an official government document, but as in “Gosh, Naylor.” I barely know her, but now we’re making eyes and I’m intrigued. Josh Naylor went 3-for-5, 8 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer, hitting .338, one of which was a grand salami of Hendriks, who I can imagine might’ve had some choice words afterwards — afterwords? Josh Naylor H.A.M. has been hot for a bit, but these were first homers in May. He’s a big-time power and hit-tool guy who has never clicked, maybe, pause for effect, until now. He could be Cleveland’s answer to Ty France. Call him Josh Ohio. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?