Please see our player page for Albert Pujols to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Strasvutsia! Baseball is back baby! To say I’m elated is an extreme understatement. I had the pleasure of going to Phillies/Braves opening day and was grinning ear-to-ear the entire time. Police approached me three times because I was creeping people out, but who am I kidding, you don’t want to hear about my encounters with the fuzz, you’re hear for baseball! Let us start the FanDuel season off right by picking on the Marlins, shall we? Be for real, anyone in this lineup scare you? Throw in the detail that they’re playing in Marlins Stadium, and I’m all in. German Marquez ($9,800) was an absolute beast in the second half last year. He turned in 93 innings of 2.61 ERA with a 28.4% K-BB%, and while I can’t guarantee he’ll keep that up all year, I’d put money on him having continued success today. We’ll take a look at the rest of the eight game FanDuel slate, after a word from our sponsors.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

We all know what it’s like to part with a loved one; An ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/lover/sidepiece/sugar daddy/sugar baby, and we know how painful it can truly be. I…I can’t believe I’m saying this…but after much self-reflection the time has come for me to part with my alter ego…Tehol Beddict.

You see, Tehol was the person I wanted to be in real life; peaceful, spiritual, focused on dominance, a total sex-addict, someone who was sought after for advice, and other than the moments I go back to Twitter or when I’m screaming at people in traffic, I honestly feel like I’ve become this person in 2019 (other than the sex-addict part…I’m celibate). Also, my friends and family can’t seem to understand that this is me, as they can’t comprehend why if it was me it wouldn’t say my real name. My freaking father says he can never find my work online, so basically I’m making this maneuver to assist the elder folk. You know, the elderly, though slow, and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose, so it’s important we help them out whenever possible. Wonder if he struggles this mightily in searching for porn???

Anyway, most of my old readers have most likely moved on to new writers…who are we kidding! They have been biding their time, strategizing and plotting for my triumphant return,  organizing a masterful battle plan to destroy all who oppose me, and believe me, it melts my heart guys/gals. Say one thing for Tehol…errr, LT, say that he loves his supporters like the children he never wanted. (I almost deleted this 100 times as it’s extremely difficult to say goodbye to the legend, but it’s time to rip the sutures out and bleed my own blood, and festoon the walls of Razzball with it.)

If you have no clue what I’m speaking of, or have no clue who or what I am, prepare yourself for next level savagery, for play around, I do not. Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

NL WestNL Central | NL East || AL West | AL Central | AL East

I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics.  You never know who the statistics are coming against.  Baseball-Reference did, however, have an amazing tool last year that attempted to quantify the quality of opposing pitchers or batters faced during spring training games on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being MLB talent and 1-3 being high A to low A level.  This tool is great, but it averages all the Plate Appearances or batters faced.  You would still need a deeper dive to see if your stud prospect smacked a donger off of Chris Sale or off of your kid’s future pony league baseball coach.  So what should we watch for in March when we’re starved for the crack of the bat?  Ignore “best shape of their life” stories and Spring Training statistical leaderboards.  Pay attention to injuries and lineup construction and position battles!  Also pay attention to where Bryce Harper signs… Note that signing can instantly eliminate a position battle detailed herein (although it sounds like only NL teams are involved right now).

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Cougs’ brother bought a place in Jackson Hole, Wyoming; I mentioned to Cougs at one point in the last five years of marriage I skied once twenty years ago, and that’s the story of how I drafted a fantasy team falling graciously down the side of a mountain.  That’s right, ya boy went skiing this past weekend, and was drafting from a ski lift!  Thankfully, Geronimo Berroa is no longer in the league, because I might’ve ended up with him on my team because I kept screaming out his name during each round.  So, I took on the monsters of the industry in an AL Only league that was hosted by Scott White of CBS and I came away with a team that is more imbalanced than your aunt after two cocktails.  This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues.  Or closet buddies, if you’re reading fast and/or experimenting.)  Anyway, here’s my 12-team AL-Only team and some thoughts:

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It’s that time of the year to talk about everyone’s favorite topic, rebuilding! The Detroit Tigers are in full rebuild mode and likely will be for the next two to three seasons. The front office claims they want to compete in 2020 but progress is a slow process in Detroit. The most exciting thing to happen for Tigers fans last season was trying to decipher what happened during the fight between local broadcasters Mario Impemba and Rod Allen. Miguel Cabrera DH and friends lost 98 games last year and finished 3rd in a weak AL Central, which boasts a few other rebuilding teams with high expectations this year (looking at you Twins and White Sox.) I’m going to keep writing DH every time I type Miguel Cabrera until it becomes true. Thoughts become things. Did you know Justin Verlander, J.D. Martinez, and David Price were once on this team? Of course you did, but I have to mention it or someone in the comments will say “I can’t believe you didn’t mention they used to have JV, JD, and David?!”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have to keep this short, because after the jump is going to be the longest post you’ve ever seen in your life.  How do I know all the posts you’ve seen to compare this one to?  Because I’m sitting behind you.  *waves*  Hey!  Also, the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball are the saddest crop of 60-something 1st basemen I’ve ever seen.  I’m shook, Baby Boo!  So, I’ve given you the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseballtop 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball and top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball.  Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included.  Let’s do this!  Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball:

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The story of German Marquez isn’t one they tell you in your parochial schools.  It’s an ugly story punctuated with cowardice and the worst atrocities in history.  You’d think if a family emigrated from 1940’s Germany they would’ve had the common decency to not name their child German.   Also, his father claiming to be an appliance repairman who specializes in ovens is disgusting.  The last straw was when his family tried to claim sauerkraut was good in tacos.  Shame on you!  What’s less shameful is how he’s pitched in the 2nd half.  He now has a 2.64 ERA in the 2nd half in 68 1/3 IP, and his peripherals on the year are gorgeous — 10.2 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 3.21 xFIP.  He’s doing it with newfound success in his slider, which he throws 15% of the time. That slider is top 15 in the majors, and is supported with a 95 MPH fastball.  In other words, this breakout appears real.  Last night, he went 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.94, and I see no reason to not start him in any matchup, even in Coors.  Or Löwenbräu as he calls it.  Disgraceful!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Yesterday, Christian Yelich hit for the cycle, going 6-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer, hitting .319.  Yelich has been sexier than that random porn that was released of him.  Speaking of porn (always a great intro to a sentence), you know you have a cougar problem when…True story, I woke up yesterday morning and Googled to see if there ever was a movie made called, Call Me By Your Ma’am with Kimothee ChalaMILF.  That feels like too much information, but I trust you with everything, except any identifying details about me in real life.  Any hoo!  Yelich!  Are you kidding me?  Keyword is kidding, because he looks like he’s 12.  Yo, you super pre-teen?  You in Stranger Things?  We’re at the point now when I’m starting to think about 2019, and Yelich, well, is there any way he’s not top 20?  Yelich or Springer?  Gotta be Yelich, right?  Yelich or Bregman?  Okay, tough call, but damn close.  He’s definitely better than Kimothee ChalaMILF!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nathan Eovaldi was sent to the Red Sox for Jalen Beeks.  That’s right, Beeks in Tropicana.  Orange you glad they’re Trading Places?  We can only hope Dan Aykroyd comes to the games in black face to switch out Beeks’ briefcase.  *insert Eddie Murphy laugh*  Sigh.  I miss Eddie Murphy.  Speaking of aging comedians, I was watching Comedians in Cars Yadda and, boy, Jerry Seinfeld got old and bitter, right?  He’s becoming Robert Klein, Jerry Lewis and, well, lots of old comedians.  Any hoo!  Eovaldi is getting passed around the AL East like Johnny Damon.  Thankfully, he can throw better than him.  Moving to Fenway does not help Eovaldi.  I won’t tell you he had a 2.12 ERA at home and a 5.18 ERA in away games, except to tell you that while telling you I won’t say it.  It’s not completely fair, though, because players are just better at home, in general, wherever that home is, but Fenway is unforgiving, especially if you’re not white.  (I kid.)  Eovaldi should provide value in the right matchups, but he’s far from a ‘start every time out’ guy.  As for Beeks, he was placed inside a gorilla suit and shipped off to a much better landing spot.  He appeared on Prospector Ralph’s top 500 fantasy baseball prospects list.  You scrolling for him, “Uh…Um….Is he here….Where is he….Oh, there.  Geez.”  Yeah, he’s deep, and he’s simply a streamer for this year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?