Rockies aren’t good at home anymore and it’s so funny. Like, that’s the joke. The Rockies. Excuse me, the Jokies. Is that a thing? It is now! Bud Black is a joke, the entire organization is a joke. From top to bottom, just jokey joke jokes. The Jokies’ owner, Dick Monfort says, “Can’t believe we’ve got Kris Bryant locked up until he’s 37. We are so smart,” as Monfort pushes on a door that says pull. Also, and I know I joke a lot about the Jokies, so I have to tell you this is absolutely true, Dick Monfort appointed one of the majors’ youngest scouting directors. Who is this overachiever? His son! He appointed his son the scouting director. What’s his qualifications? I just told you! He’s his son! Any hoo! Edward Cabrera (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 9 Ks) threw a gem in Coors, in his first start up with the team. The command is pretty worrisome here. In Triple-A, he had a 4.6 BB/9 with a 4.56 ERA. I’m actually surprised he was promoted. The stuff is electric, but he could have some absolute roofies. Outside of NL-Only, I’d be concerned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Someone should start a class action lawsuit against the fantasy baseball ‘perts who told you to draft Liam Hendriks (1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.61) in the top 25 overall. Almost as bad as the ones who were drafting Emmanuel Clase in the first four rounds, even if he did get yesterday’s win. It’s inexcusable. For shame! Andres Gimenez (2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) started the Chi City meltdown in the 9th, homering off of Banks — can’t take that to you — and then Josh Naylor H.A.M. got on a roll. He should change his name to Josh, Naylor. Not as in his last name is Josh and it’s on an official government document, but as in “Gosh, Naylor.” I barely know her, but now we’re making eyes and I’m intrigued. Josh Naylor went 3-for-5, 8 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer, hitting .338, one of which was a grand salami of Hendriks, who I can imagine might’ve had some choice words afterwards — afterwords? Josh Naylor H.A.M. has been hot for a bit, but these were first homers in May. He’s a big-time power and hit-tool guy who has never clicked, maybe, pause for effect, until now. He could be Cleveland’s answer to Ty France. Call him Josh Ohio. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dropping 98 MPH 4-seamers, maxing out at 99 MPH, with a bye-bye 82-87 MPH knuckle curve with a 3100 spin rate that has 48-inches of break, followed by “Oh, okay, that was a change, okay, I see what you did there” as the batter swings and misses. Is the answer to, “Are we sure Matt Brash is real?” Oh, he looked very real. Really real. My favorite sequence was right after giving up his first run, he got Tim Anderson on five pitches and only had to throw one fastball, which was taken for a ball. His final line was 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners (1 walk), 6 Ks, and, as good as that looks, he looked better. Not convinced there won’t be some roofies here and there. I could see him going against a club with a better feel for his pitches, and just laying off, because there were a few times when I was like, “Has he thrown a strike at all this at-bat?” After seeing him, I can also answer the question, “Would I pick him up?” With a strong affirmative, i.e., the mustache must Brash. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Five ladies and gentlemen, it’s…HELIO STUDWAGON!

And I can’t fight this rookie nookie anymore,
I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for (which stinks because we’re roughly 72 hours into the season),
It’s time to bring this shizz into the shore and onto my team,
And throw away the either/or’s forever.

Baby, I can’t hold Steven Matz anymore, but how about this Heliot Ramos fella!
He looks great, or as they say in San Fran “hella,”
I need him on my team, er,
His projections are insane from Steamer!

So, Heliot Ramos (2-for-3, 1 RBI) was called up. Prospect Itch said, “Ramos didn’t graduate AA so much as he aged into AAA, where he was still 5.7 years younger than the average player. Across the full season (116 games), he slashed .254/.323/.416 with 14 HR and 15 SB. Not bad. Not ideal. The hope is that he settles in at AAA and soaks up some coaching, applies that across his opportunities and takes the slow road to becoming a fantasy factor. I doubt the club will rush him to the majors in any needs-based scenario. This is good news for Ramos and us, as it gives the 6’1” 188 lb, 2017 first-rounder time to grow into his skillset, and I’d like to hit Grey with a skillet.” Not cool. So, the Giants seemed to disagree with how much time Ramos needed in the minors. His projections at the Prospectonator are fire under a helium balloon. Some of the best projections I’ve seen for a rookie. Oh, just your mundane, ho-hum 20+ HRs and 10 steals. Will the Giants still start guys like Steven Duggar over him? Oh, absolutely. Have you not been paying attention to the Giants for the last year-plus? Still, I’d grab Heliot Ramos in all leagues where I need an injection of sexy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, Sean Manaea and the A’s are both heading south. Manaea to the Padres, and the A’s metaphorically, as they trade away one of their last pieces. Frankie Montas walking around the A’s clubhouse like that Will Smith meme. No, the other one. No, not that one. No, he’s not smacking anyone. The one where he’s by himself. The long-awaited sequel, No Moneyball, being directed by Werner Herzog, and it’s a grizzly bear mauling teddy bears dressed in A’s jerseys. Any hoo! I’ve loved Sean Manaea for a long time now, writing a Sean Manaea sleeper, and nothing changes on any of that. With the humidor in Petco, and lack of three miles of foul territory, Manaea’s ratios might take a hit, while his Wins get a boost. We’ll have to see if this is the Manaecea the Padres need. Pun points! Okay, the top 40 starters were updated. The top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball, and the top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Haven’t moved Mike Clevinger yet, but it sounds like he’s starting the year on the IL with knee soreness. He was never throwing a full season, nor Nick Martinez, so I’m slow-playing what to do with them for now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

I’m somewhere in the Jilin Province of China, with nothing but a tattered map and some take-out food chopsticks still wrapped in their paper, in case I want to snack. I’m here on a lead. Someone told me they saw the Buy/Sell column. Back in September of last year, we parted ways. When the season ends, we usually go our separate ways for a few months, but, disenchanted by the lockout, the Buy/Sell said it was going to walk the earth. I said why not walk the earth in your general vicinity in Bergen County, New Jersey. That fell on deaf ears and it embarked on its journey, which brings me to the outer Qian Mountains.

I come up on a man with a wispy mustache, “Have you seen this article series?” I hold up a Buy/Sell from last year where it said to buy Akil Baddoo. The man points his long-fingernailed index finger up the hill to a grass hut.

I knock on the thatched door. “Hey, Buy/Sell column, hey, are you in here!” My scream echoes, and reverbs back to me with not a sound more. No indication it’s here.
Suddenly, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell column rises like the WWE wrestler, The Undertaker, from a cucumber garden and holds a flashlight to its face for great effect, “What do you want?”
“We need you for another year of fantasy baseball Buy/Sell columns.”
“Okay, I was bored just laying here under an inch of dirt.”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Just about finishing up the hitting portion of the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, to which I say, “I can’t feel my fingies.” The top 80 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball will fall in the overall range of near 215 overall and later. This is your late 4th outfielder and 5th outfielder range, or 6th outfielder for utility spot, or 7th outfielder if you’re trying to draft so many outfielders that everyone in your league is like, “Who invited the giant dope with seven outfielders and zero corner men?” Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With the top 40 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps. We meaning me, but I’ll include you. No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand. Why are you now patting my butt? Don’t muss my hair! The pitching recap will begin next. You can hardly wait. No, you! To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would be to go this route. This way when I say a player finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason, it carries more weight than Willians Astudillo. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not to come out with a hot take 18 hours after everyone, but Gerrit Cole has to win that game (6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.23). Has to shutout the Jays. Scherzer would’ve. DeGrom would’ve. Corbin Burnes would’ve. Yeah, I said Corbin Burnes! They would’ve shut down the Jays. I’m glad the Jays were not shut down, don’t get it twisted, as they say at anarchistic pretzel stands. I love me the Baby Jays. Wanna put food in their mouth and talk to their moms about how I used to watch their husbands play, and then become real chummy until I’m called Unkie Grey and am at their house for Thanksgiving! That’s how much I love the Jays, but if you’re Cole, you gotta win that. So, Bo Bichette (3-for-4) hit his 27th and 28th homer, as he led the Jays to victory as well as a lot of his fantasy teams. I don’t mean he plays fantasy, I mean the teams he was on won–Ya know what? You know what I mean! Bo Bichette is the epitome of everything you want in fantasy. He’s got 30-homer power, 30-steal speed, high contact, great lineup, plays every day and, if you say his name fast, it sounds like Boba Chette. For 2022 fantasy, there’s so much talent in the game, but I could see struggling with trying to squeeze Boba in the top five because he will not suck, no matter the straw size. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Salvador Perez hit his 41st homer. Today, you get a Salvador Appreciation Post, or SAP. You might be asking yourself the same as every Y! Answers when you google SAP, “How do I turn SAP off?” You can’t turn it off. It’s going into your eyeballs and, with each passing word, it becomes harder to turn back. If you remove all pitchers, the top home run hitter in the major leagues is Salvador Perez, a catcher. What a year for fantasy, is what I say right before I wander into traffic wearing nothing but a potato sack. “If you remove all pitchers, the top home run hitter in the major leagues is…” is the funniest thing that’s ever graced this site. That a catcher is the next best home run hitter is just a cherry on top of this season. “Wow, I can’t believe I can draft Cody Bellinger in the 2nd round this year,” that’s what the apparition floating next to me keeps saying, because I’m haunted. Salvador Perez is in one of those situations that I thought would benefit Juan Soto too. There’s no one in that lineup with Perez, so why not pitch to him? The only difference between Soto and Perez is about .440 OBP or 90-ish walks. If you knew someone like, say, Perez would swing at anything, wouldn’t you throw him nothing but junk in the dirt? For Sal Perez to hit 41 homers, he should’ve only saw 41 strikes all year. Alas, no one wants to tangle with Benintendi, apparently. For 2022, I continue to cackle in a jar and seal it quickly like it’s a lightning bug. Only I plan on releasing those cackles in 2022 when someone drafts Salvador Perez in the top 25 overall next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?