[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1365370″ player=”13959″ title=”2023 Razzball BUY SELL HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 18″ duration=”189″ description=”It’s the BUY SELL HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 17! 0:23- Jordan Lawlar 0:50 – Gavin Williams 1:42 – Christian Encarnacion-Strand ” uploaddate=”2023-07-26″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1365370_th_64c1a17d12dce_1690411389.jpg” image=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1365370_sd_64c1a17d12dce_1690411389.jpg” contenturl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1365370.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Aaron Civale was traded to the Rays yesterday. Going from the Guardians to the Rays for pitching is like going from caviar to caviar straight from a fish’s vagina. (Do fish have vagina? Wasn’t that a book title?) Going from the Guardians to the Rays for pitching is like going from bacon to bacon dipped in mayo. You were already at a team that developed great pitching, do you need to go to one even better? Aren’t you being a little greedy? Aaron Civale traded to the Rays and about to become a thinking man’s Zach Eflin. Call him Zach Brain. Civale is Eflin, who was Ryan Yarbough on the Rays, who was Matt Andriese, who was Drew Smyly, who was Jake Odorizzi, who was—Greybot 5000 is malfunctioning, please unplug, blow into my ear and plug me back in. Civale’s peripherals don’t back up his ERA, as I keep saying, but it didn’t matter because the Guards have magic, and the Rays have more magic. Also, on a side note, the Guards’ return of Kyle Manzardo, and I’m just so sick of the Guards being perpetual sellers. “Manzardo is a great return!” Sure, until the Guards sell him in four years for another prospect. My guess is they’re about to sell Josh Bell too, and call up Manzardo, but that’s clear conjecture. Manzardo is basically Josh Naylor, Part Two. Call him Josh Afternoon-Delight. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Lowe – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, two homers in two games, three homers in four games and four homers in a week. B-Hold, B-Lowe.

Josh Lowe – 1-for-4 and a homer. B. Lowe just hit his 14th and missed time, so guess how many homers J. Lowe, Ben Affleck’s wife, has. Go ahead, guess! Too slow! He also has 14 homers. J. Lowe is hitting for a much better average (.271) and he has steals (22), so it’s not completely fair comparison, but, well, why do I have to be fair?

Tyler Glasnow – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.15. Not sure why, but I want to go in on the Glasnow Injury Rollercoaster, and I’m aiming to next year.

Wander Franco – 1-for-4 and his 13th homer, 2nd homer in three games. Wander? I barely walk!

Isaac Paredes – 2-for-3 and his 21st homer, and his 3rd homer in three games, and the Rays are heating up again. Watch out!

Domingo German – 5 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 4.56. He was scratched with an undisclosed injury to start the game, which was likely, “Can we sell him? Let’s hold to see if we can, because it would be bad to see him get hurt in the game,” then no one would buy him, and they were like, “Meh, it doesn’t matter, just let him pitch.”

Jake Bauers – 1-for-3 and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Hot schmotato alert!

Noah Syndergaard – 5 1/3 IP, 4 baserunners, 0 Ks, ERA at 6.68, but left after taking a comebacker off his lower leg, i.e., Syndergaardian needs a shin gaardian. Crazy how quickly the Guards fixed Syndergaard, huh? Rays would’ve fixed him before he even pitched.

J.P. France – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.85. If a rookie pitcher was promoted with no fanfare, he was terrific. That was the only requirement for shoving this year. Juan Pierre France looked awful? Great! Grab him!

Yordan Alvarez – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 19th homer. Please get as hot as Margot Robbie, Captain Woo Cubano, and hit 15 homers the rest of the way. It’s all I ask.

Griffin Canning – Scratched with general soreness. Were they scratching each other? Was him and Gen. Soreness in the gym locker room when they scratching each other? What is going on here?

Randal Grichuk – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer. Paying *claps* immediate *claps* dividends.

Luis Rengifo – 2-for-4 and his 10th homer, and hitting .500 in last three games (yes, small sample). Since Ward went down, Rengifo’s been hitting and at the leadoff slot. He’s also way up on the 7-day Player Rater.

Chase Silseth – 5 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.99. Watched most of this game, because I have Charlie Morton (6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.62), who looked way worse than Silseth. For realth! Though, Morton was only hurt by the long ball. At the end of the day though, Canning prolly bumps Silseth from the rotation, and, if not, he’s a Streamonator call for now in most mixed leagues.

Matt Olson – 2-for-2 and his 36th homer. For years I said he’s a 50-homer threat, and finally it looks like it could be a reality.

Brendan Rodgers – 1-for-4 as he was activated from the IL. Drafted him back in February, before the injury, so I’m excited he’s back, but I think I’m being kind because he’s been out and if Rodgers were sitting on waivers in most mixed leagues, I would just ignore him. Also, every time Nolan Jones seems to have daylight, it’s curtains.

Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 1-for-3 and his 15th steal, as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s Get Him In Your Lineup Department said, “I was wearing a captain’s hat because I was listening to Yacht Rock in my headphones, what’s the big deal?”

Edward Cabrera – 3 IP, 2 ER, 2 hits, 6 walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.79. EdCab will be an ace, but he needs to figure out how to throw the ball over the plate for that to happen.

Taijuan Walker – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.99. His velocity was way down early on, and he was getting rocked. Emoji that shakes its head, then takes a pull on a vape and says, “What are you gonna do?” But, hold on, emoji, he settled down and Walker’s velocity was up as the game went on.

Bo Bichette – Left the game after stopping shortly and grabbing his knee. Oh no, please don’t be Boever. We need a prayer quadrilateral.

Kyle Gibson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.53. Think I mentioned this before (you try to write 3000 words about baseball every day and not repeat yourself), but I don’t even look at Streamonator for Gibson, I start him basically everywhere.

Gunnar Henderson – 1-for-3 and his 17th homer, hitting .242. Perception is he’s on the Struggle Bus this year, and I think we’re gonna have a huge sleeper next year. Gonna Henderson, baby!

Mark Canha – Traded to the Brewers. Weird thing is the Mets traded Canha away, but if you’re a Mets fan, you just gotta laugh. Sorry, but you walked into that one. Not sure how this plays out yet for Canha in Milwaukee, but you have to think he’s a platoon player, but vs. who? Righties? Then with who? Please don’t tell me Frelick. I’ll be monocle’ing this because I’m not quite sure what it means yet, tee bee aitch.

Joey Meneses – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer. This guy is so kick ass (if he’s a Joey, as I imagine, which is a baby kangaroo).

Paul Sewald – Traded to the Diamondbacks. Damn, that’s a good landing spot for him and the Diamondbacks. I’ve never met a Diamondbacks fan, but if they exist, I’d be very happy with this trade. Bye-bye, Ginkel’s value (after he got the vulture win, and I had already dropped him — lowercase yay!), and hello, Andres Munoz, new M’s closer, who will now be known as the M’z. Bullpen chart is updated, as always.

Jace Peterson – Traded to the Diamondbacks. Well, they’re not all good moves. This “moving on” will be…

A.J. Pollock – Traded to the Giants. Pollock would’ve been the perfect addition to the Yankees to make it seem like they were doing something while doing nothing. A.J. Platoock, as he should be called will take ABs from Wade Jr., Pederson, and A.C. Slater, to the chagrin of Jesse Spano.

Wilmer Flores – 1-for-5 and his 14th homer. Flores comes alive at the trade deadline, because if he doesn’t, he might get traded, and that brings the tears.

Jeimer Candelario – Traded to the Cubs. Cubs might bomb out of their playoff chances, but there’s a small crack, I suppose, and an open, Jeimer. Solid move for Jeimer’s value; Wrigley’s a good hitters’ park, and the ball flies out of there in August, and early-September. Don’t think this moves him into a top eight 3rd basemen convo — think Bregman — but just below that. So, small boost in value.

Jose Cuas – Cubs acquired him from the Royals for Nelson Velazquez. Why? Cuas.

Marcus Stroman – 3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.85. Cubs might trade Stroman away just because they want to stay in the playoff race and he sucks.

Andrew Abbott – 3 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 2.35. Get his ass, Regression Fairies!

Sam Moll – Traded to the Reds for Joe Boyle. Moll’s more like a skin tag, and Boyle’s about to pop.

Nick Pivetta – 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.08. Wow, he actually started and was good? Could Pivetta actually be fixed? *stops to think about it, while Pivetta unknowingly puts a banana in my tailpipe* He sure looks fixed!

Cal Raleigh – 2-for-4 and his 15th and 16th homer. What an ass, he said lovingly, while looking at Cal Raleigh.

Juan Then – Recalled from the minors by the Mariners. Fun fact! Juan Then is what they call And Just Like That…in Latin America.

Josh Rojas – Traded to the Mariners with Dominic Canzone. Rojas and Canzone sounds like cop partners who are not the leads of the TV show.