LOGIN

Please see our player page for Taijuan Walker to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Cubs are calling up Pete Crow-Armstrong, who is little known Pixar character from the movie, The Wowzers. It was a blatant ripoff of The Incredibles, where the main character, Pete Crow-Armstrong idolized Jim Thorpe, went to sleep one night and woke being able to “crow hop” a throw to home from the deepest part of the outfield. A critics’ darling that audience reviews on Rotten Tomatoes called, “Pixar continues to make all female characters’ main attribute their giant rear ends.” So, here’s what Itch said previously, “The surprise prize of the Javy Baez trade, Pete Crow-Armstrong features a quick but simple stroke in a 6’0” 184 lb frame. PCA is a double-plus defender who just posted 16 home runs and 32 stolen bases in 101 games across two levels (in 2022) where he was younger than the league average. He chipped in 20 doubles and 10 triples, slashing .312/.376/.520 on the season. The power has been a nice bonus, considering the profile isn’t dependent upon it. Here’s hoping: His power and my fist into Grey’s head.” Oh cmon! PCA’s gone 20/37 across two levels in 107 games this year. He seems to have a little bit of a contact problem (29.7% in Triple-A), but has speed for an inflated BABIP. I have little interest outside of NL-Only leagues, because I think Pete Crow-Armstrong will be in a platoon, but it’s fun to see what he can do in limited time, and this is promising for 2024 fantasy, and him breaking camp next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rubbing balloons on my head to get a lot of static on them, then sticking them to my ceiling. Hiring a deejay to play Shakira songs and getting cupcakes prepared, because…? You know why! It’s time for a Star Mitzvah! Zack Gelof went 4-for-5 with two homers (7, 8). That’s in only 25 games! Could Zack Gelof be having his Star Mitzvah? He is Jewish, so there’s a case to made that he’s already had his chair lifted above his uncle’s head, while said uncle was wheezing and out of breath. *looking at Zack Gelof’s stats before writing out the check for $18 for his Star Mitzvah* Oh, hold up. Wow, his numbers are awful. Is that Z-Contact% the worst in the majors if he qualified? A 65% contact rate?! Wait, why is anyone throwing him strikes? Because they don’t know to not throw him strikes, is my guess. Plus, they’re pitching around Gelof for what reason? It’s the A’s. So, Zack Gelof looks like he has good speed and power, but he might struggle to hit .200 once things normalize. Oh, crap, and I already sent invites for Gelof’s star mitzvah. Awkward! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hol’ hol’ hol’ up! Jays manager’s name is John Schneider, and they just happened to find a replacement for the three-hole in their lineup named, Davis Schneider? This seems suspect! What’s also got me sniffing the waiver wire saying, “That’s fishy,” what did they put in Schneider? He’s the first player in MLB history with two homers and nine hits in his first three games. Reranking in my head for 2024 fantasy, “Acuña, Davis Schneider, Ohtani.” Davis Schneider not number one overall? No, okay? Not yet! Maybe after this week! So, Davis Schneider did all that bombing out of Fenway, and, in Triple-A, he went 21/9/.275 with a 21.9% strikeout rate. I get it, he was a bit old for the level, but, at 24, it wasn’t like he was Joey Meneses. Not to mentionese, did we forget last year with Meneses? Sometimes guys come up, and hit for two months until pitchers figure them out next year. Schneider has no prospect pedigree, but I’d grab him in any league until he stopped hitting, or until we find out he’s John Schneider’s kid, and, as we learned in Little League, he’s only hitting third because of daddy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Aaron Civale was traded to the Rays yesterday. Going from the Guardians to the Rays for pitching is like going from caviar to caviar straight from a fish’s vagina. (Do fish have vagina? Wasn’t that a book title?) Going from the Guardians to the Rays for pitching is like going from bacon to bacon dipped in mayo. You were already at a team that developed great pitching, do you need to go to one even better? Aren’t you being a little greedy? Aaron Civale traded to the Rays and about to become a thinking man’s Zach Eflin. Call him Zach Brain. Civale is Eflin, who was Ryan Yarbough on the Rays, who was Matt Andriese, who was Drew Smyly, who was Jake Odorizzi, who was—Greybot 5000 is malfunctioning, please unplug, blow into my ear and plug me back in. Civale’s peripherals don’t back up his ERA, as I keep saying, but it didn’t matter because the Guards have magic, and the Rays have more magic. Also, on a side note, the Guards’ return of Kyle Manzardo, and I’m just so sick of the Guards being perpetual sellers. “Manzardo is a great return!” Sure, until the Guards sell him in four years for another prospect. My guess is they’re about to sell Josh Bell too, and call up Manzardo, but that’s clear conjecture. Manzardo is basically Josh Naylor, Part Two. Call him Josh Afternoon-Delight. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This post will be an extended mea culpa. I didn’t believe Andrew Abbott (8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, two walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.10) when he was called up. Didn’t believe him after his first eight starts! Didn’t believe him when he had solid prospect pedigree. Didn’t believe him when he came to my house and said, “Why don’t you believe me? You’re hurting my feelings!” I didn’t believe him when he showed up at my favorite boba place to tell me he had a 9.2 K/9, 2.9 BB/9. Didn’t believe him when he showed up at my health club in a towel and sat in the sauna with me and walked me through how he had a .212 xBAA, an xERA of 3.62 and a .103 BAA on his sweeper, which he throws 16.1% of the time. I didn’t believe him when he walked next to my car, while I was in traffic, and told me his fly balls were crazy high, but literally, so they won’t leave the park. I didn’t believe him when he shook me awake in the middle of the night and told me to not trust his 4.59 xFIP. I didn’t believe him through all that, and I regret it. Sadly, I still don’t believe him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve been giving the Tigers a hard time, unlike the contact their hitters make. Okay, okay, that’s enough. It’s time to dig in on Spencer Torkelson (2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer, and 3rd homer in two games). You have to dig deep because his prospect status has sunk so low. All right, that’s not nice. Seriously, I need to look at Torkelson. Yikes, that’s a jump scare. In 187 games in the majors, he has 19 HRs, 2 SBs and a .210 average. Josh Bell is a bad hitter; Torkelson is a bad-hitting Josh Bell. Call him Gosh That’s Hell. Any hoo! He’s young and he just had his best month in the majors, 7 HRs in just under 100 ABs. He still hit .180-ish, but baby steps, Gosh That’s Hell. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The legend continues…Reds infielder slash phenom slash messiah Elly De La Cruz lifted the Cincinnati Reds onto his back Friday night doing it all quite literally by hitting for the cycle to upset the consensus best team in baseball, the Atlanta Braves, Friday night in an absolutely wild slugfest that extended the Reds win streak […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, Razzballers! Thank you for another edition of Razzball’s Ambulance Chasers, your fantasy baseball injury report or analysis, or something along those lines depending on my mood. THIS WEEK, I am going to share some updates with you about some hurt guys. First, I want to share how much I have enjoyed seeing the Reds […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, Razzball Brethren! Pete Fairbanks has visited the IL a few times this season, but have you seen his most recent, season-threatening injury? While this is a family-friendly column, I agree it is important to dunk on kids, even if it means sustaining a black eye. They must meet the long-arm of the law sometime. […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

14.4% walk rate. That stands out as the difference between young players, who have promise, and what Gunnar Henderson (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer) has done. Thinking back to when Keston Hiura appeared to be a top prospect. He flamed out with a walk rate half of Gunnar’s. Gunnar Henderson just went through conceivably the most difficult stretch of his young career, and did it with a 14.4% walk rate. That’s remarkable. Most vets can’t do that. It’s common sense: A player struggles and starts swinging at everything and spirals out of control until they’re asking, “Is the whole team going to Golden Corral tonight?” as they stand in line for minor league meal vouchers. Yesterday, Gunnar hit the longest home run in Camden Yards history; it reached the street, then rolled to Hamsterdam. Since June, he’s hit .458 with four homers. He has a higher OPS than Kyle Tucker, Schwarber, Jul-Rod and Machado, to name a few. In the last month, he’s hitting near-.300 with a .265 ISO. To me, the most impressive number is still 14.4%. Gunnar sounds like a viking backwards and forwards, and you Cnut ask for more. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Reds’ manager, David Bell, who is commonly known as Dumb Bell, not because he’s the dumbest motherf*cker to ever manage a baseball team — Phil Nevin is dumber than him — he’s known as Dumb Bell, because he’s the 2nd dumbest MLB manager. (It’s a 29-way tie for 2nd.) Imagine having five top 100 prospects, all under the age of 27, and thinking, “How do I get Kevin Newman into the lineup?” This perplexed Dumb Bell for countless hours. He took a trek to visit a Buddha statue in downtown Cincy (it’s outside Buddha’s Mongolian BBQ) to ask the Buddha what he thought he should do, and the Buddha said, “Look deep within for the knowledge you possess,” so Dumb Bell dropped his pants, bent over backwards in front of a mirror and tried to find that knowledge deep within himself. Sadly, the only knowledge he now possesses is he needs to wipe better. So, Dumb’s got a new piece to play with as Elly De La Cruz was called up. Just gave you an Elly De la Cruz fantasy. Yes, he’s a pickup in every league. Oh, and “yes” reminds me of something: Where the Helly is CES? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?