Please see our player page for Kyle Gibson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Yacht Rock has polluted my brain. I’m singing Bertie Higgins, dressed like Thurston Howell, III, and wearing deodorant that smells like Pina Colada. And the most frightening aspect of the previous sentence is only one of those statements is make-believe!  Cougs figured since I like blended, virgin pineapple drinks it would be a good idea to buy me Pina Colada-scented Suave deodorant. I walk around all day wanting to lick my armpits! I’m damaged! Even more upsetting, I don’t own Xander Bogaerts (3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 26th and 27th homer, hitting .308) or Rafael Devers (2-for-4, 2 runs, 25th homer, hitting .327) in any meaningful way. (I own Bogaerts in one league, but it’s my worst league, so it doesn’t matter.)  I briefly mentioned this yesterday, but last year Betts and Martinez put fantasy owners on their backs (no easy feat for some of you), and this year it’s been all Bogaerts and Devers. On our Player Rater, both guys are top ten for the season (Acuña reached the mountaintop, by the by). Incredibly, neither guy has been lucky. Bogaerts upped his walks; has a BABIP in line with career norms; held all batted ball profile marks from previous years, except raised his launch angle and fly ball rate just a tad. Bingo-bango-Bogaerts! Devers’s numbers are new from him at the major league level, but nothing jumps out as a career year and he’s only 22 years old.  Both guys will and should be highly ranked next year. Now, excuse me, while I go lick my armpits. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Not your Grandfather’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers…

When the robots finally take over the world and the rest of us have fallen, one last sentient being will remain on the planet taming and ruling over the machines: Grandpa-Donk. Until that time we must do our best to live in harmony with the androids. Don’t give the bots reason to overthrow humanity during your lifetime, let it be your children’s problem.

For fantasy baseball purposes, it’s that time of year to start leaning heavily on artificial intelligence. The sample of data available for Rudy’s mechanical offspring to crunch grows larger by the day. The rest of season player rater and streamonator are functioning like the well lubed machines they are. The top 100 starting pitchers for the remainder of this year will strongly weigh these robotic opinions as most pitchers only have 7-8 regular season starts left; match ups are of the utmost importance from here on out. Speaking of the bots, is there something in rest of season player rater’s pocket or is he just happy to see Andrew Heaney?!

The player rater has Heaney ranked as the #27 starting pitcher for the rest of the season. I did a double take when I saw the large rusty shaft protruding from player rater’s nether regions at the mention of Andrew Heaney. Looking closer, it makes some sense: Heaney threw two above average outings against the stacked Astros lineup in July before hitting the IL with shoulder soreness. He then came back strong Saturday with an abbreviated outing in Boston against a struggling, but still loaded Red Sox lineup. His swinging strike rate is up over 13% in his 49 2/3 innings this season with 58 strike outs, plus he’ll face the White Sox twice and maybe the Rangers twice over the next three weeks. Heaney’s arm should be fresh at this point, since he’s been hurt ALL season, so pick him up and trust fall into rest of season player rater’s cold, rigid, arm-like metallic stumps.

Here’s some more players rest of season player rater and Donkey both like for the stretch run…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ruth/Gehrig, Mantle/Maris, Gio/Tauchman. Ya know, en bee dee, oh em gee, tee em eye, tee bee aitch, bee tee dubs, what the eff. It’s an all-New York week here at Razzball HQ. Yesterday, Gio Urshela (3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) went and hit his 15th and 16th homer, and has five homers in his last 13 at-bats. Last year, he hit three homers, and two came in Triple-A! I’d cackle-snort, but who would hear me with this pillow over my mouth as I scream about not picking up Urshela last week? Of course, Urshela will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but, in any self-respecting league, he shouldn’t be available anymore. By the way, the Yankees became the 1st team in Major League history to hit 19 HRs in a four-game span. Our Commissioner Manfred just shipped in a new crate of baseballs, and they’re wrapped tighter than a hamster’s balloon knot. Let’s get some homers! Gulp, gulp up those juiced balls! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh, Marcus Stroman.  You poor, poor soul. Can we take bets on how hard the Mets tried to include Mickey Callaway in the deal? It is so Mets to suddenly think of themselves as contenders. Blue Jays to Pirates, “Thank you for making the Mets believe again.”  We’ll see how much Stroman enjoys throwing ground ball pitches with that defense behind him. Amed Rosario plays balls two feet to his left into a diving try. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if this move leads to the Mets trading away Wheeler and Syndergaard, as they change their rotation vs. thinking Stroman is some catalyst. He has a 7.2 K/9, 2.5 BB/9 and 3.52 FIP, so he’s not bad. A bit yawnstipating, but in the NL out of the AL East makes me a buyer of Stroman vs. ignoring him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What a great day for baseball today. There might not be a single cloud in anyone’s sky. Nothing at all to worry about except hot temperatures – don those shades and smack on the spf – and winds blowing out.

Fire up a grill, crack open a beverage, and enjoy the day today DFSers! and read on for our top FanDuel picks of the day.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After a weekend out at a bachelor party in Charleston, that means sitting down to put these starts together while also fighting off sleep at the same time. No commentary under the sections this week, but wanted to make sure I got the rankings and information out there for you to set your lineups.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is an especially exciting day of DFS action because I will enjoying a game at Oracle Park, home of the San Francisco Giants as they host the New York Metropolitans. We should be in for a clash of epic proportions as Madison Bumgarner ($9,000) toes the rubber against Noah Syndergaard ($9,200). Thor hasn’t been great this year, though he has been improving. Truthfully, it’s probably that we’ve become so accustomed to his dominating performances that he seems like a letdown. Anywhoo…I’m just excited to watch him do his thing live. On the flip side we’ve got MadBum, who’s actually been looking back to form. I like him better of the two since he’s at home and the Giants offense has suddenly remembered that scoring runs is good. So let’s sit back and enjoy the show. Enjoy being at work dudes and dudettes, I’ll have some garlic fries for ya.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today is the last day of baseball before the three most dreaded words of the summer are uttered: All-Star break. It’s not all bad though, we get a tiny break from setting our season long lineups at least.  Still, there will be no moneies to be made for the next few days.  So, let’s be sure to enjoy our well-deserved rest, but push for one last score so we can soak it up while we rest.

We have eleven games on the FanDuel Main Slate today, let’s dive right in:

*Editor’s Note: I’m posting this for Nich today due to a scheduling conflict, so even though my name is up top, it’s his work*

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, when does Brendan McKay come up to replace an Ineffective Listed Blake Snell?  Ton of people asking about McKay, so I’ll go over him briefly, because I have nothing else to do but service you.  I am a mere vessel for your wants and dreams. Bit like the Flowbee if you need a haircut.  Prospect Mike just went over McKay in his last post.  McKay is the Rays’ Ohtani.  Though if hitting and pitching made Ohtani a unicorn, I’m not sure what that makes McKay.  A Loch Ness Monster?  Seen more often, but just as imaginary?  McKay’s likely headed for a Middler role in Tampa, and maybe some at-bats.  His arm excites me more than his bat, he could have a 9+ K/9 and always has insane command (2 BB/9), but Jalen White Clarence Beeks or Brendan McKay?  Meh, I don’t think there’s that much of a difference.  Guess McKay has more upside, and love how he sounds like what a dad would call a character on 90210 back in the 90s.  Why do we even care about McKay?  Have you seen Blake Snell (3 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.01)?  If you have, send him back to replace the stunt double who is wearing his jersey.  “I thought when they said ‘changeup,’ they meant a changeup from pitching well, so I started pitching like garbage.”  That’s Blake Snell addressing dozens of crying Rays fans.  I know no one wants to hear this right now, but Snell doesn’t appear to be pitching poorly; he’s having atrocious luck.  Like if a ball is hit right at a fielder, a squirrel grabs the ball and throws it into the outfield for a double.  He could be a buy low, as long as he’s not hiding an injury, real or fake.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seeing Zac Gallen called up and I’m reminded of me doing karaoke.  Picture, if you will, the song Tequila playing and me just holding a mic, dancing.  Now imagine I’m surrounded by multiple Mickey Rourkes feeding strawberries to multiple Kim Basingers, because this scene is filled with eroticism like you’ve never witnessed before.  It’s taboo filled with self-sacrifice, transgression is in the air while being dominated by a song with only one word.  I’m alive for the first time!  Now, watch Gallen get trounced by the sissy AF Cardinals.  Okay, I’ve been telling you to pick up Gallen for about a month.  On our Prospectonator, he’s the 4th best rookie pitcher, which translates to him possibly being the rookie pitcher of the year.  Think Chris Paddack.  Fo’realsies.  Prospect Mike just gave you his Zac Gallen fantasy, and I’d just go there and read that to find out what kind of pitcher he is, because that’s what I did.  He had lefties hitting .127 off him?  I mean, are you kidding? Seriously, is this a joke?  Do you want me to faint while I am entertaining a room full of drunk people with Tequila?  Do you?!  I didn’t think so. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?