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With the likelihood of a shortened MLB season growing by the day streaming and targeting matchups will be more important in our 2020 fantasy world than ever before. One of the best places to take a stab at that is using catcher defense to try and mine some stolen bases. Two things factor into this: how often a catcher is run on and how often they throw runners out. Ideally, you’re getting a good matchup on both sides, like finding toilet paper at the grocery store that’s also not sandpaper texture, but I’d prefer volume to efficiency. Here are the 2019 stats and some of the likely hot spots.

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*insert musical note* Hello, darkness, my old friend. It’s something-something, me again. So, I don’t know the words. Are you here for musical theory or for a recap of the craziest season in recent memory if one can only remember a year or two? I thought so! Today’s jazz handsy recap is of the catchers. Please don’t ask if this is ranking for next year. It’s not a ranking for next year. It’s me recapping last season. Please, for the love that all is holy, understand this. It’s all I ask of you. Well, that and shower me with praise. The latter isn’t hard, the former is. Also, remembering which is the ‘latter’ and which is the ‘former’ is hard too. Quibbles and semantics, my good man and five lady-mans. It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

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If the Dodgers promote Gavin Lux, will that put them over the Lux cap? I said, will that put them over the…*looks up* Lux cap? Wow, no balloons dropped from my ceiling for that gorgeous pun. “Hello, is the balloons-in-the-ceiling salesman that came out to my house? Yes…I said, what I thought at least, was a grade A pun and I expected balloons to fall from the ceiling. Well, I was talking about the Dodgers promoting Gavin Lux. Yes, they said they will in September. Will he play? My guess is sure, why not? At least some days. They’ve got the division wrapped up and I see no reason why they won’t play him. Why do we care?  Haha, Mr. Balloons-in-the-ceiling Salesman, we care because he’s hitting .400 in Triple-A. Shoot, Ted Williams’ frozen head is on the other line. Hold on one second….Yes, Frozen Ted Head? Lux is hitting for power too — 13 HRs. Also, he’s got some light speed. Yes, I’m excited. He could be *the* September call-up, but he’s hitting over-.400 just in the minors, so you don’t need to be stunting on your .400 batting average claim. Yes, you too, and say hello to Jack Dawson, Walt Disney and the vault where they make astronaut ice cream…Okay, Mr. Balloons-in-the-ceiling Salesman? Hello? Are you there?” Hmm, he hung up on me. Any hoo! Stash Gavin Lux now. He’s arriving soon, and the Dodgers can afford to play him. It’s a…*looks up at ceiling* Lux-ury they have. Damn, these things never fall. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Seeing Zac Gallen called up and I’m reminded of me doing karaoke.  Picture, if you will, the song Tequila playing and me just holding a mic, dancing.  Now imagine I’m surrounded by multiple Mickey Rourkes feeding strawberries to multiple Kim Basingers, because this scene is filled with eroticism like you’ve never witnessed before.  It’s taboo filled with self-sacrifice, transgression is in the air while being dominated by a song with only one word.  I’m alive for the first time!  Now, watch Gallen get trounced by the sissy AF Cardinals.  Okay, I’ve been telling you to pick up Gallen for about a month.  On our Prospectonator, he’s the 4th best rookie pitcher, which translates to him possibly being the rookie pitcher of the year.  Think Chris Paddack.  Fo’realsies.  Prospect Mike just gave you his Zac Gallen fantasy, and I’d just go there and read that to find out what kind of pitcher he is, because that’s what I did.  He had lefties hitting .127 off him?  I mean, are you kidding? Seriously, is this a joke?  Do you want me to faint while I am entertaining a room full of drunk people with Tequila?  Do you?!  I didn’t think so. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Going back to one of my old favorites, that I didn’t like for awhile, then did like, then loved, then hated, then should’ve loved but hated, then was nonplussed about, then Googled nonplussed to make sure I used it right, then thought about how I went through all of these emotions in, like, two weeks, then took a nap, then clapped my hands, then shot up out of bed and wrote a strongly-worded letter why there should’ve only been one season of Killing Eve, then scrubbed my undercarriage with my Q-Bert loofah and sat down to write about why you should buy Scott Kingery. In my head, I hear Tyler, the Creator, “I think I’m falling in love, this time I think it’s for real,” and he’s singing about Kingery, isn’t he?  I THINK so — Tyler’s caps, not mine.  From 2016 to 2017, Kingery made adjustments that led to more power, put his swing more in line with Alex Bregman:

That’s who I want him to be.  Put it out in the universe and it will come true, that’s The Secret.  Last year, he was beat by fastballs, sliders, cutters…Okay, you name it.  This year, he’s been positive on all pitches and he’s making way more hard contact.  Now, is most of this Buy simply because Odubel Herrera needs to go Saynerrera because he’s a knucklehead? Though, knucklehead might not be the best choice of words in this instance.  So, if nothing else, Kingery has short-term value because he should play every day for at least the next few weeks.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I hope everyone’s Memorial Day was filled with hot dogs, hamburgers, fireworks that were meant to be saved until July 4th but were blown off yesterday so close to your ear that you still have a ringing, and all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert.  My Memorial Day was filled with eating and burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt, but that’s every Monday.  Eat a D, ISIS!  Yesterday, Gerrit Cole loved the troops more than most starters, posting a line of 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 4.02.  Woke SpongeBob, “Yo, dem high-ranked starters are da bomb dot org.”  Yo, WSB, you don’t sound so woke.  “Go f–k yourself.”  Wow, WSB, is lit!  Cole’s peripherals: 14.1 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, 2.22 xFIP and is technically the number one starter in all of baseball if his luck was neutral. Don’t love trading for a top starter, but it’s hard to find a better buy low right now, due to his ERA.  He could rattle off 120 innings of a sub-1 ERA.  That’s Murica thru & thru.  Not spelling shizz out is Murica too.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I love this Brendan Rodgers guy!  Woo-hoo, Cavan Biggio (3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer)!  How about that Kevin Cron?!  Can I fit Yordan Alvarez on my team?  I need some of that good shizz!  What’s Kyle Tucker doing on my opponent’s team?  Nuh-uh-uh, I just traded Scherzer for him!  What’s your thoughts on Oscar Mercado? Because I just dropped Trout for him!  Rookie call-up after call-up is, uh, called up.  Rooks flashing before your eyes.  You grab every one of them because you need that sweet taste of upside.  “Due to a water ski accident, I can only taste tart and upside.”  That’s you talking to your mouse hand as you pick up rookies.  Lourdes Gurriel Jr. is promoted, and… *hand to ear, listening*….what’s the absence of sound?  I can hear thoughts in my head wondering why parts of the ear are all former wrestlers…The Hammer, The Anvil, The Body…. Then Lourdes Gurriel Jr. hits a home run on Friday, another on Saturday and goes 4-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs on Sunday with his third homer in three games.  So, are you interested now in Lourdes Gurriel Jr.?  You think about it, then, “What do you think of Mitch Keller?  Better than Ryu?” Grab that Gurriel!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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MLB owners decided not signing free agents was too obvious. Everyone can see that in plain-sight. Passing around a championship belt that says you’ve spent the least on free agents? Too on the nose! So, MLB owners got together and decided en masse the best way to manipulate the market is to promote prospects and milk them for a few years at their minimum, then let someone else pay them for their services or lock them down to a big contract when they’re very young for pennies on the dollar of their actual worth. Crazy or crazy like a fox?  So, Brendan Rodgers was called up yesterday at like 5 AM my time, and, then when I woke up at 7 AM, I promptly grabbed Br. Rodgers in all but one league to find out about a half of a cup of coffee later I now owned Brady Rodgers, a relief pitcher on the Astros.  Anyone know what his stuff looks like?  True Story Alert (after the last true story that was given without an alert)! I already had Austin Riley and Brendan Rodgers featured predominantly in my Friday Buy that’s coming later today.  Planned it out on Monday of this week, figuring I could tell you to pick them up before they were called up next week.  Comic book graphic of being wrapped in Reynolds Wrap as I scream, “FOILED!” On the Prospectonator, which ranks and projects all rookies, Rodgers is ranked 4th for all rookies.  The 1st two are Vlad Jr. and Senzel, and the third is The Boss.  With Hampson demoted, I’d guess the Rockies give Rodgers a long leash as he plays 2nd, and he might not need said leash.  He could click immediately, and be a fixture on the Rockies’ infield like Story and Arenado were before him.  He should be owned in every league.  For what it’s Werth, Rudy thinks Rodgers could just be insurance for Trevor Story, but I think Ryan McMahon is done.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Michael Chavis continued to do nothing but hit Friday night going 2-for-4 with his fourth home run, a 459 foot 2-run shot (woh) off Reynaldo Lopez. Someone put a distress beacon on that ball so maybe Captain Marvel can find it in space!? Chavis is now slashing a real pretty .310/.442/.619 with four homers and two steals in just 42 at bats (13 games). Extrapolate that! If he started the season with the team he’d be the their home leader! I’m trying to figure out why he’s not owned in more leagues. Is it because he doesn’t have a sexy name like Skye Bolt or Carter Kieboom. Or maybe we haven’t done our due diligence as irritating members of Red Sox Nation to over hype this guy until you’re sick of hearing about him. Well, get ready to hear me gush about my newest BoSox heart throb because Chavis has done everything since arriving with Boston including five multi-hit games in his past 10. He’s famous around the clubhouse for the studious notes he takes after every at bat. Whaddaya think you’re some kinda smaht guy Hahvad boy? How do you like dem apples! Err, ok, wrong school but the reference still works. Did I mention the kid bats in the middle of a lineup that features Xander, JD and Mookie. Those are very good players we all know and love on a first name basis. Any hesitation most likely stems from the inevitable return of Eduardo Nunez and Dustin Pedroia (L out L) stealing his playing time, but I trust Alex Cora to play the young guys when the time comes. He was a BUY and needs to be owned wherever he’s available, Dustin and Eduardo don’t hit moon shots like that, folks. It’s time to join the Michael Chavis fan club.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The number one prerequisite for being in the Buy column is being owned in less than 50% of leagues.  Hey, we all need cut-offs, which is why I’m wearing jorts.  However, I wanted to write about Hunter Dozier so badly, I didn’t check his ownership numbers.  We’ve got a full-on Grey crush!  *turns over Trapper Keeper, looks for room between scribblings of Giancarlo and hearts*  If I had any room on my Trapper Keeper, I’d add Hunter Dozier’s name.  Exit velocity isn’t everything.  Heck, it might not be anything, especially this early, but it at least means a hitter is squarely up the ball and putting a charge into it like Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.  Some names surrounding Dozier on the Hard Hit charts:  Pete Alonso, Gary Sanchez, J.D. Martinez and Joc Pederson.  Again, small samples and all, but Dozier has averaged 430 feet on his home run.  Hit the ball hard and far?  It’s a pretty nice recipe for success.  Another thing in his favor is his walks are way up and his Ks are down.  He is profiling as a 30-homer, .280 hitter right now.  Even though his name sounds like a Cal-King mattress, don’t sleep on Dozier!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Apparently Blake Snell was moving some granite hoozawhatsit in his bathroom and dropped it on his toe. We’ve all been there — our partners buy some unnecessary piece of furniture and we’re tasked with building it, moving it around to and fro and end up being the ones sweaty and frustrated. And don’t get me started on throw pillows — their purpose is in their name — throw them on the floor before you go to sleep…please don’t share this with my wife. Anyway — reports are that Snell will only miss one start. Granted, it’s his own report, but still it’s only his little ring toe. Fill In: If you need one start, give good ol’ C.C. Sabathia (10.8%) a shot. His next start comes at home against the Royals who are 17th in OPS vs lefties. Sabathia looked sharp as heck in his first start against the White Sox (5 IP, 1 base runner, 3 Ks.)

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How’s it going, deep-leaguers?  Hope everyone out there has dodged as many fantasy baseball injury bullets as possible, since we know that losing your studs in a deep league is a much different level of disaster than it is in the shallow, mixed-league world.  It’s not super helpful to read about how you might consider picking up Dansby Swanson or Eduardo Escobar to replace Trea Turner in your lineup when the “best” shortstop available in your league is Kevin Newman. As we continue to ask for leniency from the fantasy baseball gods, let’s do what we do here, and take a look at some players who may be on the radar for those of us in AL-only, NL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?