The number one prerequisite for being in the Buy column is being owned in less than 50% of leagues. Hey, we all need cut-offs, which is why I’m wearing jorts. However, I wanted to write about Hunter Dozier so badly, I didn’t check his ownership numbers. We’ve got a full-on Grey crush! *turns over Trapper Keeper, looks for room between scribblings of Giancarlo and hearts* If I had any room on my Trapper Keeper, I’d add Hunter Dozier’s name. Exit velocity isn’t everything. Heck, it might not be anything, especially this early, but it at least means a hitter is squarely up the ball and putting a charge into it like Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Some names surrounding Dozier on the Hard Hit charts: Pete Alonso, Gary Sanchez, J.D. Martinez and Joc Pederson. Again, small samples and all, but Dozier has averaged 430 feet on his home run. Hit the ball hard and far? It’s a pretty nice recipe for success. Another thing in his favor is his walks are way up and his Ks are down. He is profiling as a 30-homer, .280 hitter right now. Even though his name sounds like a Cal-King mattress, don’t sleep on Dozier! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Josh Phegley – His last name sounds like a derogatory label you give an ugly catcher or congestion. “Yo, he is so feckin’ Phegley,” or, “This mucus is killing me. Blech, just feeling so Phegley.” Also, on our Player Rater, Phegley is a top 5 catcher.
Mike Ford – The Venn diagram of people who think Mike Ford can be an All-Star and those who live in their mom’s basement in Staten Island are two overlapping circles. Ford, however, has some pop — sorry, moms — but not sure of his playing time.
Chad Pinder – Fun fact! Pinder is also the nickname of the douchiest guy in a fraternity who needed to move to off-campus housing while his trial proceeded.
Brandon Lowe – “Lee-OW!” That’s me thinking I’m pronouncing Lowe correctly while also insulting a nearby Chinese family.
Michael Chavis – Was called up by the Red Sox as they shuffle the deck chairs on the Titanic. Okay, so hold you fanny, part-time fanny holder, musical break down as I look at Chavis. *Shipping Off To Boston plays* His projections are at the Prospectonator — hint: he’s a top ten bat for rookie hitter projections. He was number one on Prospect Mike’s Red Sox prospect list. He could be a 25-homer, 5-steal hitter. This year. I tried to grab him in every league.
Jeff McNeil – If it’s true that one can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs, then the Mets are going to have broken egg shells in their omelettes when they try to fold Todd Frazier back into the mix, and McNeil might be the lost track on the albumen. Mixed metaphor points!
Freddy Galvis – He’s been better than Story so far. I have another story for you if you think that will continue, but why not own Galvis while he’s hot?
Garrett Hampson – In the immortal words of Soul Asylum:
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life’s mystery seems so faded
Scott Kingery – Truth Bomb Alert! Kingery was nearly the lede this week, but I feel like I needed to plant a bigger flag on Dozier. Kingery was drafted, like, top 150 overall last year, then had a bad rookie year. It happens, and does not mean he can’t be breaking out this year.
Willy Adames – Has a hit in nine of his last nine starts (I think; he might’ve walked four times in one game, which is why he went 0-for-0 in one game or just played the field or something; I don’t know, but…) That Willy’s hot!
Dwight Smith Jr. – Dwight is the assistant best waiver wire buy for steals–Excuse me “assistant to.”
Clint Frazier – The Venn diagram of people who think Mike Ford is a future All-Star, live in a Staten Island basement of their mother and say, “Ginger is my favorite spice because Frazier shampoos with it,” are three overlapping circles.
Franmil Reyes – Had a claim to be the top Buy this week too, but I am legitimately worried about Franmil’s playing time, and, no matter how much Franmil plays, that will always be a concern. You can add Manuel Margot into this blurb.
Avisail Garcia – I took a brief nap between writing Avisail and Garcia, so you have to excuse me if I can’t work up a ton of enthusiasm for him.
Touki Toussaint – Has a three-pitch mix (93 MPH fastball, 76 MPH hammer and 86 MPH splitty), looks like a high 9 K/9 guy if not 10 K/9 and a wankster with command. Be surprised if he doesn’t have a few absolute blowups, but will also have some 6 IP, 10 K games where everyone should own him. It’ll be a minefield like no one’s traversed since Princess Di, but could see him added in every league.
Nick Anderson – Speaking of goofy peripherals, Anderson’s peripherals got a summer job at Disney as Goofy because they are so goofy: 17.7 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 1.07 xFIP
Anthony Swarzak – Okay, Swarzak, which sounds super racist if you’re in Germany, is not only getting saves, but is holding his own in the Goofy job application for peripherals: 15.2 K/9, 1.7 BB/9, 0.99 xFIP.
A.J. Minter – Now back to our regular scheduled program where we list guys who will get saves who aren’t that good. If Craig Kimbrel doesn’t sign with the Braves, Minter will be closing games with a broken shoulder as Ziggy Sobotka waves his penis around in the bullpen and Jesse Biddle mutters to himself in the corner, “I’m a Biddle Biddle boy.”
David Peralta – Bit of a tamer Sell this week (if you want another Sell check out the video at the top of the page). So, here is how I found Peralta to sell. I went to the top of the BABIP leaders. Some names jumped out: Andrus, Domingo, Tim Anderson, who bat-flipped his appearance in this list. Those names are to be expected because they’re all doing very well. They’re obviously overperforming. Then like a beacon in the night that had a giant neon sign on it flashing “WTF,” I saw David Peralta’s name. He hasn’t even been good this year and he has a .424 BABIP? Um, woof. His HR/FB% has reverted to pre-2018 numbers (read: 15 homers vs. 30) and he doesn’t really have speed. So, we’re looking at a guy who is on pace for: 15/7/.280. That’s a complete bore. I would use our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer to see if you can get something for him. No, I wouldn’t trade him for a signed photo of all the fruits from a Fruit of the Loom’s commercial.