Please see our player page for Mike Ford to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

“Okay, guys, to start the song we’re going to count out to four, but we’re going to count 1, 2…Then go back to the beginning and finish with 1, 2, 3, 4…Questions?”
“Hey, Bruce Springsteen, uh, yeah, big fan, and I’m happy to have the opportunity to show you I belong as a background vocalist in the E Street Band — ESB? Do people use that? Anyhoo…Have you considered hiring someone else to count, because ‘1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4’ isn’t how people count?”
“Who are you?”
“I saw a flyer at The Stone Pony for an opening in your band.”
“That flyer was supposed to be taken down 48 years ago. Get out of here.”

And that’s how we got the title for this post: Al, Tu, Al, Tu, Ve, Four. It’s also how many homers Jose Altuve (2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, 16th homer, hitting .298) has in the last three games. He has eight homers in the last 10 games, but Bruce Springsteen never counted to eight. As another singer, Lady Sovereign, would sing, “Altuve is the biggest midget in the game!” That Lady Sovereign song is 15 years old, and now I feel 100 years old. Jose Altuve also has 16 homers in 57 games; his career high is 31. Maybe this time he can steal an MVP award from someone his own size (if he’s standing on top of a car, and you include the car’s weight). Imagine being Aaron Judge and saying Altuve stole an MVP from you. Bro, you stole the sun from anyone within 10 feet of you. It’s a form of cheating by just being big. At least that’s what I tell anyone who challenges me to any sporting event. So, drilling down on Altuve’s peripherals, he’s pulling everything, and his Launch Angle is a little goofy early on (as in high), which could lead to a lot of fly balls, and lower average, or more homers, if he’s connecting, as he has been. Now, if pitchers pound away, he might be in trouble. There’s a possibility here for him to come back to earth (small fall), but anyone would come back to earth after an eight-homer, ten-game stretch, but, in general, he seems back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What could be if Byron Buxton could only stay healthy…*wavy lines* “Whoa, dream sequence! What’s this, a rainbow with a map to its natural end? I will follow this! Wow, only three years later to find the end of this rainbow, I should’ve drove! Hey, look…a pot! Let me see what’s in it…Gold? Meh, whatever…Ooh, Byron Buxton being a 40/20/.260 hitter in 162 games, and a battery for my calculator watch that I couldn’t find after the Radio Shack by me went out of business…this dream sequence is amazing!” *wavy lines* Oh, man, here I am still with a calculator watch that’s stuck on the 1’s and 2’s. Though, Buxton is healthy, but I don’t have him on any teams. Dreams don’t exist. Buxton is an easy top 10 outfielder in 2021, if he stays healthy. That “if” is the size of a Greek grandmother’s gams. Yesterday, he went 5-for-5, 2 runs with a slam (8) and legs (2). Hopefully, he stays working longer than this dumb watch. Also, in this game, Josh Donaldson (1-for-4) hit his 2nd homer, as he reminds everyone his initials are J.D. too; Jorge Polanco (1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer, reminding everyone they drafted him; Mitch Garver (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 3rd and 4th homer, and, after the game, he read on the broadcast a love letter sent to him by someone who he wouldn’t name, only holding up a tub of CoolWhip, wonder who that could be. Finally, Willians Astudillo (1-for-4) hit his 2nd homer, and he exclaimed, “Hot dog!” as he reached into his pocket and ate one as he rounded the bases. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Congrats to Madison Bumgarner on his no-hitter (7 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 6.31) that isn’t counted by MLB because MLB doesn’t think 7-inning games are real things after making 7-inning games a real thing. MLB where logic goes to die, then Rob Manfred comes along, picks up logic, and chucks it into the garbage. The real story yesterday might have been the Braves who managed one hit in 14 innings. Yo, can I get a woof? In the 1st game daffy’ing the Braves was Zac Gallen (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.16) as he threw a complete game shutout, which I guess gets an asterisk, too. MLB, embarrassing asterisks since 1961. Gallen should get a hairline fracture in his forearm more often. Maybe shave his other arm’s hair into a hairline too. Can you have too many hairlines? Can he shave hairlines into his legs too? What order on a waxing menu is “shaving a hairline into one’s leg?” A Brazilian nut? A Nice, but pronounced like the city in France, so it sounds like knees? Does the waxing menu have legs options? Someone who grooms their legs, let me know. Gallen is doing exactly what he does every year — 10.5-ish K/9, goofy command, and a 2-ish ERA. Pretty impressive how a hairline fracture in his arm didn’t slow him one bit, but it’s sidelining Cody Bellinger for weeks. Cool, fun stuff that isn’t causing me to have an ulcer at all. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks.

Well, here we go again. More injuries to mull over. Let’s rip this Band-Aid off.

Note: The writers cover injuries throughout the week, so if you’re looking for an update on a player not mentioned here, slap their name into the ol’ search bar and give it a look-see. I’m just here to give you the latest injury buzz for the week, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll be mentioning everyone you care about each time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I will be wrong!  I realize that this a very odd way to start a “suggestive” article, but it’s entirely true.  I will be wrong this week, as I have been wrong the past 3 weeks.  What is beautiful about this statement?  The mere fact that while I may be wrong, there are going to be things that I get correct as well.  Who is 2nd in the MLB at the time of writing?  Mark Canha, yes, the very same Mark Canha who back in Week 1 I recommended picking up for runs.  Injures shoulder patting self on back.  Maybe this is how Juan Soto hurt his shoulder?   With my shoulder now injured, and a trip to the IL imminent, good ole Grey has summoned me back into the on-deck circle for another AB.  This time, I look at you Jay Bruce…..my shoulder is very safe from any pats on the back.  He retired for crying out loud.  The article giveth, and the article taketh.

What does all of this mean?  What it means is that while I want to just give you all the info needed, I would love more than anything to teach you why these suggestions make sense on a week in and week out basis.  You may see some redundant names here and there, but all in all, let’s find the competitive edge and dominate another week of Head to Head.  Without further ado, here is Week 4.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welp……whatever was in the water in the Bronx last year that led to one of the most ridiculous injury riddled seasons ever apparently is still sticking around, because the Yankees just keep taking hits left and right.

Last week, we chronicled Giancarlo Stanton’s hamstring issue, and a week later, the Yankees are now down two more stars, as DJ LeMahieu and Aaron Judge have both landed themselves on the IL.  Judge has a calf issue that SEEMS minor, but this is Aaron Judge and the Yankees we’re talking about here.  The hope is that he’ll only miss a couple of weeks, but these things have a tendency to snowball in this training room.  With LeMahieu, it looks like he’ll be able to avoid surgery after an initial scare with his thumb injury.  His timeline is also 2-3 weeks at the moment.  So all three big Yankee hitters are slated to come off the IL in 2-3 weeks.  Until then, we gave you Mike Tauchman and Clint Frazier last week, but adding Tyler Wade and Thiaro Estrada in deeper leagues makes sense as fill ins for LeMahieu.  Guys like Miguel Andujar and Mike Ford should also see some boost to their value with an OF and DH spot opening up full time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jairo Diaz was told the Rockies will no longer have a designated closer. Bud Black is crazy, right? I mean, he is legit nuts or no? I know the Woke Police say you shouldn’t call people crazy, but if we don’t, then they might not get help and Bud Black needs help. I thought maybe Black was just slow on the uptake as witnessed by Garrett Hampson’s playing time. It’s not normal to go from not playing to suddenly being an everyday leadoff man, like Black just discovered Hampson this year. Garrett was good last year, you absolute loon! But this is about Jairo Diaz. He didn’t have the best of games (2/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, ERA at 3.12), but Carlos Estevez (1/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.38), who saved the game, took a comeback off his hand, and was in severe pain, heading for x-rays. So, one guy’s been decent (Diaz), one guy is obviously injured, and the third guy, Daniel Bard (1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.09) has been okay, but serious emphasis on “okay” and nothing more. That’s when you announce the guy with zero blown saves is no longer the closer? Bud Black is twenty-six screws short of an Ikea dresser. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY YESTERDAY ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $5/MONTH.)

Being hearing a lot of gossip about Clint Frazier. That’s healthy. Ya know, some ginger tea. Don’t think the Yankees called Clint Frazier up just for make-up games, though this was overheard: “He’s not a clown?” Aaron Boone continued, “Oh, I thought he was for makeup games.” Then Boone laughed himself out of his mask.

Artwork by our talented writer, CoolWhip.

So, Clint Frazier has struggled to get real playing time with the Yankees, but maybe he’s this year’s spark plug. He does look like he’s fire. He’s a 20-homer, 7-steal, .260 hitter over a 162 games, and that lineup is so great, I’d take a flyer on Frazier. Some might say, “Clint Frazier? I like Mike Tauchman!” Yeah, Tauchman’s projected for 3 HRs, 2 SBs and a .255 average, how can he not be owned?! Dude’s a 20-game hot streak away from one good Trevor Story game! Okay, I’m being unfair and underselling. Projections don’t love Tauchman, but if he gets everyday at-bats, he’s worth a look or whoever is in that lineup replacing Stanton, whether it’s Aaron Hicks, Mike Ford, Clint Frazier, or PTBYankee’dL. So, this is kind of a Yankees’ placeholder in lineup endorsement, but Clint Frazier is the most interesting. Plus, *pinkie up as I sip* ginger tea. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What a different season, and a move from Baltimore to southern California has worked for Dylan Bundy, $9,700. Traded for not-a-whole-lot in December, the Angels move for him didn’t even register a blip. But the Angels presumably looked at Bundy’s arsenal, saw one pitch in particular that has been difficult to hit, realized that ‘difficult to hit’ is a good quality for a pitch to have, saw he threw it about 20 percent in Baltimore, thought, “what if…” then said, in their best Boomhauer voice, “Throw that one pitch of yours more.” Dylan Bundy stared blankly. Apparently Max Stassi understood, because he started throwing down three fingers more often, Bundy is throwing his slider more often, and hitters have been hitting his pitches less often. It’s that simple sometimes. Do more of what works and less of what doesn’t. Let’s take this lesson to heart, and also do more of what works and less of what doesn’t in our DFS lineups. Read on to find out how.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have so many questions about the 2020 season. How long will it last, for starters. For seconds: Piped-in crowd sound. It’s just… weird. Is there a crowd-sound DJ and how are their skills tested during the job interview? Are the players really fooled? Has the crowd sound ever been so loud that players can’t hear each other across the field? But I digress! Today I come at you from the great sultry north with some FanDuel picks for your DFS state this Thursday, 30 July. Another question for me today is pitching: it’s one of those days where it would be nice to dispense with a pitcher altogether, but we cannot and still, you know, actually submit a valid line-up on FanDuel, so perhaps we go the punt-pitching, splurge-on-hitting route. That’s where John Means comes in. Not to start him, but because I sense he’s going to present us with some stacking opportunities as he squares up against the Yankees. Let’s take a look at what else is out there, after the jump.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe the real-life baseball season has stopped, but that doesn’t mean fantasy baseball has to. It’s all we have these days, really. Fantasy sports while we fantasize about real sports coming back. I feel bad for my fellow fantasy hockey folks – I get the feeling it ain’t coming back, even if regular hockey does. I’m not about that fantasy basketball life (I dabbled in my younger years – Tracy McGrady anyone? Had to have him on all my teams), but I fear it’s the same fate. Only fantasy football is unscathed…so far. Wild stuff happening on that front, too. Brady to the Bucs? Da BUCS?! DAFUQ! Gurley and Newton RELEASED?! Hopkins TRADED?! Maybe Watson, too?! Madness, I say!

Anyway. This is a fantasy baseball article. Almost forgot. It’s an important year for the fine ladies and gents here at Razzball: the inaugural season of RazzSlam! Big shoutout to the NFBC peeps for hosting it. Give ’em a follow on the Twitter at @TheNFBC. I had the honor of being accepted into League 2 (of 18). Some scrub ass writer for CBS is in it. Big deal. I’m kidding, he’ll probably whoop my ass.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Labor Day, everyone! Today, we celebrate all of those mothers who are in labor giving birth to us, so put your legs up, grunt real hard and scream at a loved one that they are a “bastard” or a “weasel-d*cked moron who isn’t even the real father.” You’ve earned this day, male or female, though I’m not sure how men earned a Labor Day. Do I have this celebration right? Any hoo! People acting like Justin Verlander‘s 3rd no-hitter was stamping his ticket to Cooperstown are hilarious. He was a lock for the Hall of Fame when he posed nude in the mirror with Kate Upton. Yesterday’s butter:  9 IP, 0 ER, 1 walk, 14 Ks, ERA at 2.56 is just another example of the legacy of one of the greatest pitchers ever. Everyone should stop to watch a Verlander game. That’s a ‘stop to smell the roses’ request because you deserve something as glorious as seeing Verlander throw a baseball. This is a request for you to live your life, not like you’re in labor with your feet in stirrups, but like your feet are on the ground and you’re reaching for the stars. Okay, now I’m just misquoting Casey Kasem. For 2020 and beyond, Verlander is an ace until he shows he no longer is, and I’m thankful for every one of his pitches that I’ve never owned on a fantasy team (eff me). Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?