[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1385528″ player=”13959″ title=”2023 Fantasy Football Rookies” duration=”173″ description=”0:24 Jahmyr Gibbs 1:05 Kendre Miller 1:54 Jaxon Smith-Njigba ” uploaddate=”2023-08-19″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1385528_th_64e0200ad8139_1692409866.jpg” image=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1385528_sd_64e0200ad8139_1692409866.jpg” contenturl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1385528.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

There’s no point in me pointing out that I wrote a Justin Steele sleeper this preseason. It’s so long ago now! So much has been written since then! Has anything, perchance, been written that was that illuminating that the Pulitzer committee, all 12 people in Switzerland, all drafted Justin Steele in their fantasy leagues? Does it matter that people, who have been stopped on the highway doing 120 MPH, have been allowed to leave after showing the police officer my Justin Steele sleeper? Does it matter that my Justin Steele sleeper has made advancements in medicine to cure the hiccups? No! None of this matters! What matters is I wrote that gee-dee post, snitches! Yesterday, he went 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 12 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.55. But that doesn’t even matter! The hiccups are now gone! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Seiya Suzuki – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 15th homer, hitting .267. Went to look at his splits, because I was expecting to have my confirmation bias that he was having a great 2nd half confirmed. That’s how bias works, I thought! He has been hitting for a bit more power, but to say his 2nd half has been great is a slight exaggeration. It’s a small sample, and if it continued and prorated out to 162 games, then, yes, but looks more like a hot streak and, at best, he’s a 25/10/.270 hitter, but hasn’t come close to approaching that.

Logan Webb – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.51. Just realized Logan Webb sounds like a character in the Marvel universe. He’s played by Tobey Jackman. Or is that Hugh Maguire?

Julio Urias – Arrested for domestic battery. Honestly, I wish I didn’t ever have to mention another arrest by a player ever again. It sucks. Launch Urias into the sun for all I care. Being this is his 2nd domestic violence incident, my guess is he’s done with MLB. He’s thrown away his career because he couldn’t get help for his anger last time it happened. If he does play again, it won’t be for a while because he’s looking at a lengthy suspension that won’t even start until the legal process has played out.

Edward Olivares – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer. Told you he was a sleeper! *dodges tomato* What?!

Nelson Velazquez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer. At 24, he has 7 homers in 21 games with the Royals, and I could actually see interest forming around him next year if he goes into the season with an everyday job, and he should.

Cole Ragans – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.00. You’re gonna think I’m crazy but he seems like the type that I will rank roughly 150 spots earlier than ESPN. Right now, he feels like the 22nd to 28th starter, that ESPN will barely rank in their first 80 starters.

Jesse Scholtens – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.38. “When regression comes, it comes out of nowhere without velocity but fast.” That’s Oppenheimer. Streamonator hates him, and I don’t disagree.

Trea Turner – 2-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 22nd homer, has homered in three of four September games, and has 7 homers in the last seven games, and has 13 homers since being applauded.

Edmundo Sosa – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and a slam (9) and legs (3). Is there anything to the Phils start cheating every August? Is that a theory I need to investigate?

Kyle Schwarber – 2-for-3, 3 runs and his 40th homer. Can you imagine when his power goes and he’s still hitting .180? Not saying it’s gonna happen next year — it might, but I’m not saying that.

Fernando Tatis Jr. – 1-for-4 and a slam (22) and legs (24, 25). Wonder if Fun The Jewels ever feels like Bonds did with McGwire and Sosa, and gets sick of the pub Acuña’s getting and wants to go off next year.

Lucas Giolito – 3 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 4.88. If you don’t listen weekly to our podcast, I suggest listening this week to what I say about Giolito. It is truly hilarious in hindsight.

Royce Lewis – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 11th homer, and his 3rd grand slam in eight days. He’s going to catch Lou Gehrig by season’s end. Imagine watching Royce Lewis on your waivers and not picking him up. A true oopsie.

Jorge Polanco – 3-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, and 2nd homer in the last week. Polanco’s been great recently, and looks back to his pre-knee injury self of 18 months ago.

Carlos Correa – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer. Sorry, he sucks very bad. Find him on the Player Rater and try to rationalize where you drafted him.

Matt Wallner – 3-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer. It was a good day to stack Twins hitters.

Pablo Lopez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.64.  Got out to a huge early lead and cruised out to the Ivictory Island for a free night at the W.

Ke’Bryan Hayes – 2-for-4 and his 12th homer. He’s absolutely gonna rope me in next year and I’m gonna hate it. I know already. Stupid foresight!

Jack Suwinski – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer. You might Suwinski some, but he just Su-lost-one.

Corbin Burnes – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.63. Could. Dot dot dot. I actually be able to draft Burnes next year? Will I want to?

Shohei Ohtani – Out with an oblique injury. Oh, just go have Tommy John surgery now, King.

Randal Grichuk – 1-for-3 and his 13th homer. Hey, no hard feelings, pal, we just didn’t want you anymore so we put you on waivers. Welcome back though, okay? For what it’s Cronenworth, Grichuk tends to get hot in spurts.

Brandon Drury – 1-for-4 and his 20th homer. Grichuk and Drury both get hot in spurts. Spurts, it’s what Marcus Semien plays.

Grayson Rodriguez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.91. I’m so shook now all I can think is I’m going to draft him again next year and he’s going to be awful again until June. Is the banana getting longer or is my tailpipe?

Merrill Kelly – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.22. Maybe I’m just a fortunate little boy with a beautiful mustache, maybe the Fantasy Baseball Overlord just wants to reward little ol’ me, but I looked at my week’s matchups and I have so many pitchers going against the road Rockies, who suck very bad. Giddy, and now I stop to emphasize, up.

Mike Ford – 2-for-4 and his 15th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. *pretending to be doing charades* Oh! Oh! I know this one! Mike Ford is doing Luke Voit in the 2020 season! Also, hot schmotato alert!

Julio Rodriguez – 1-for-5, and his 25th homer, hitting .284. One of these years he’s going to have a huge April, and challenge the year Acuña’s having.

Spencer Steer – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 20th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. He’s now hitting third in the crazy, exciting, adjective, upsidey, but also downsidey lineup.

Bryan Woo – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.50. Figured out what the opposite of Woo is. It’s Woof.

Brayan Bello – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.61. He looked like he was cooking on a Viking without a pilot light lit, because he was gassed, but, in a non-easy matchup, he put together a solid start. Streamonator hates his next (and liked yesterday’s a little).

Masataka Yoshida – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer, and his 2nd homer in two games. Ha, well, whatever, you make calls every day and occasionally they’re wrong, like mine that Yoshida was bad enough to drop. The thing is, he was, for, like, six weeks, but he’s heating up now, I suppose.

Triston Casas – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 23rd homer, hitting .268. We’re at the point now when Casas is moving into the top 100 overall for 2024 discussion, right? Is he way above that? 75 maybe?

Aaron Civale – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.76. Twelve Ks? Okay. I like that. On related news, can the Rays acquire Mitch Keller please?

Corey Seager – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 27th and 28th homer. I’ve never rostered Corey Seager (that I remember, which is all that matters), but next year I want to be all-in for every league. Him or Austin Riley? That’s what I’m thinking.

Mitch Garver – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, 3rd homer in two games. Pick him up! Everywhere! Let’s go!

Nathan Eovaldi – Will start today, and that’s too late to get him into my weekly lineups, so hopefully he looks healthy but not great. I’m managing expectations!

Yainer Diaz – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer. It sucks so bad that Brantley is squeezing him for playing time, but at least he’s still playing a bit as catcher.

Jose Altuve – 4-for-6, 3 runs and his 11th and 12th homer, hitting .316. Fun fact! Altuve is Spanish for low altitude.

Mauricio Dubon – 2-for-5 and his 8th and 9th homer. The Astros have so many weapons, and all I want is the Yordan weapon to be sprung! Let him sprung and stop playing him in the outfield!

J.P. France – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.72. Juan Pierre has sent a cease and desist to Juan Pierre France to stop using his name. We’ll see how it plays out.

Jose Berrios – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.68. No fair that he had a good matchup. Jose Berrios can only have bad matchups so he can get lit up.

Lawrence Butler – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer. “The Butler did it!” That’s Colonel Mustard. So, Butler’s got huge power, and has been showing it, with great contact (22.5% K-rate) and no walks (1.5%). He also has speed, that he hasn’t shown yet. I’m not remotely interested in an A’s rookie, who is hitting 8th, but there ya go if you’re in a deep league.

Ryan Noda – 1-for-4 and his 14th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. A) Hot schmotato alert! B) The A’s have been hitting recently, so be careful with streamers going against them. C) There’s no C.

Mason Miller – Will return this week. He’s got some of the best stuff anyone’s ever seen, and he can’t stay on the field for longer than 17 innings at a time. You can try him, just don’t drop anyone worthwhile.

Luis Medina – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.46, as he was activated from the IL. Whenever I hear his name, I think he’s a rapper whose songs I don’t know. “Here comes Luis Medina with Wut (The Wut The Wut The Wut) He’s Just Asking Questions! Only on 95.3 Da…Beat!”