Sample sizes are everything, or so I’ve heard. From other people. Not about me. I’m personally told sample sizes mean nothing. Gently reminded, as I’m also reminded, it happens to everyone. What is ‘it?’ Damn, that’s deep, which is not what I hear often when discussing sample sizes, but Tim Beckham (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) went deep twice yesterday (11th and 12th homer). I’m talking about sample sizes more than a bachelorette party because Beckham had done nothing up until yesterday’s game. At this point in the season, it’s not what has a guy done this month or past week, but what did he do yesterday and what can he do today? Two homers tell me a guy is locked in. *Beckham mimes being in a box* Perfect! I’d grab him, sample size be damned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Scott Kingery to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Kendrys hit it? Yes he can. Blue Jays first baseman/DH Kendrys Morales homered in his fifth straight game Friday night and now has a total of six jacks in five nights! KEN-DRYS do it again!? I don’t know! The B-Jays have won four in a row and Morales extended his hitting streak to eight games and is hitting .571 in the past week with five multi hit games, seven runs scored and nine RBI. Kendrys is available in over half of fantasy leagues and he’s hotter than Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson’s sex life. Which I hear is very steamy. That was a fairly on trend reference though, right? Speaking of trendy, it’s Players Weekend, HE’LL YALL! That means dope cleats, mostly ugly/funny uniforms (I can’t tell if I like the Rays hats or hate them so much), and of course: terrible nicknames. This is a good opportunity to tell if your favorite player has a good personality or not. Some of the nicknames are clever or fun (SABANERO SOY? yes please, and Brad Boxberger gets millennials), but if a guy just adds a -y or an -ie he’s probably a pretty lame dude so I guess it’s a good thing he’s so good at baseball. Kendrys chose to wear “MONINA,” which I tried Googling but couldn’t get a proper translation so I’ll just assume it means “Only Hits In August.” Well, it’s still August for another week and despite how long he chose to wait to get en fuego, Kendrys Morales was a BUY and is one of the hottest hitters in the league right and I’d ride him while he’s hitting all the baseballs.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night featuring more dumb nicknames than you’ve ever wanted:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Nathan Eovaldi was sent to the Red Sox for Jalen Beeks. That’s right, Beeks in Tropicana. Orange you glad they’re Trading Places? We can only hope Dan Aykroyd comes to the games in black face to switch out Beeks’ briefcase. *insert Eddie Murphy laugh* Sigh. I miss Eddie Murphy. Speaking of aging comedians, I was watching Comedians in Cars Yadda and, boy, Jerry Seinfeld got old and bitter, right? He’s becoming Robert Klein, Jerry Lewis and, well, lots of old comedians. Any hoo! Eovaldi is getting passed around the AL East like Johnny Damon. Thankfully, he can throw better than him. Moving to Fenway does not help Eovaldi. I won’t tell you he had a 2.12 ERA at home and a 5.18 ERA in away games, except to tell you that while telling you I won’t say it. It’s not completely fair, though, because players are just better at home, in general, wherever that home is, but Fenway is unforgiving, especially if you’re not white. (I kid.) Eovaldi should provide value in the right matchups, but he’s far from a ‘start every time out’ guy. As for Beeks, he was placed inside a gorilla suit and shipped off to a much better landing spot. He appeared on Prospector Ralph’s top 500 fantasy baseball prospects list. You scrolling for him, “Uh…Um….Is he here….Where is he….Oh, there. Geez.” Yeah, he’s deep, and he’s simply a streamer for this year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can you imagine if Kevin Pillar (OF, Sprained Shoulder) played in Boston? Yeesh. Boston Radio would be the most unlistenable noise ever recorded. “You see dat catch by Kevin Pillah?! I almost friggen ran outta my pahlah!” Pillah is going to be out 4-6 weeks after injuring the area near his collarbone. Shame. His 19 HR+SBs were looking pretty good and I think there was a good chance his run production numbers would’ve gotten a boost if he got traded to a competitor. Stash or Trash: Stash. He was having a pretty good year so far and will be back to help you for your stretch run. Fill In: Kevin Kiermaier (8.4%.) “Wait Klug. You want me to replace one injured guy…with THE injured guy?” Yea I know, Kiermaier, Shmiermaier. “I don’t want to pick that clown up just to read about him in next week’s Ambulance Chasers!” I know it’s been a lost season for KK, but he’s hit safely in 9 of his last 11 games and has a HR and two SBs in that time as well. He’s got 10 HR/10 SB capability in the second half even though, yes, he also has DL-60 capability in the second half as well.Please, blog, may I have some more?
*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson. Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children? Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children. Not really (yes, really). Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?! *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down* I’m okay! *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher* I can’t see! *screaming at intern* Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again. I’m still seeing blood though. Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13. The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him. That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last year some fellow co-workers and I decided it would be fun to join a flag football league. Seemed like a solid idea. Do some ‘team building’, get some running in, and enjoy a little competition. Well, by the end of the season we had gone through 4 QBs, one broken thumb, multiple pulled hammies and quads, and a grand total of 2 wins to show for all of our pain, so, safe to say, we made the right choice to be auditors and not professional athletes.
With the NFL draft ongoing, I thought it would be interesting to see what the best backyard football squad we could put together of current MLB players would look like. As this is a backyard/adult sport league type of team build, we’ll forego the offensive and defensive line. By NFL standards, there aren’t many guys that could play the line anyway. David Ortiz, Big Papi, is by all accounts a mountain of a man for a baseball player at 6’4” and listed at 250 lbs. (I’m not sure I buy the weight, but that’s neither here nor there) would still be an inch short and 60 pounds light of the average offensive tackle in the NFL…Please, blog, may I have some more?
*walking through a packed hallway, head nodding at the ladies* “What’s up, chiquitas? Que paso, senoritas? Assume there was an upside down question mark in front of that question. I’m feeling pretty good, and it’s not just because I’m wearing my extra tight bicycle shorts that make me aroused when I cough. Nope! RONALD ACUNA IS UP! Hey, so are my letters. Preston Tucker? How about you Tuck off?! I’m so pumped!!! Seriously. I wanna make love to my fantasy team where I have Acuna.” *realizing I don’t know what hallway this is and need to leave before I’m arrested* Here’s my Ronald Acuna fantasy. Go look at the GIF I have there and tell me you’re not aroused. Don’t send pics! I said he’d be up mid-April. Oops, one week off! And his projections were 74/17/77/.304/21 in 514 ABs! I need to sit down. Wait, I am sitting!!! AHHHH!!! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Introducing the interrobang list! (You’ll find it at the bottom of the top 100.) What’s an interrobang you may be asking yourself? An interrobang essentially is a hybrid of a question mark and an exclamation point. When someone says something like “What in the world?!” You can save yourself some space and use the interrobang. “Okay cool, weirdo — how does this apply to fantasy baseball?” The interrobang list at the bottom are a few guys who didn’t make the Top 100 list proper, but are still people that are making me go “?!”Please, blog, may I have some more?
You ever see something and you still don’t believe it? You distrust your own eyes. Well, I just saw a video of this, and I still don’t believe it: Mookie Betts bowls better than he hits. And he hits pretty damn good! He rolled a perfect game yesterday vs. the Yankees (4-for-4, 5 runs, 4 RBIs, and his 2nd homer), but he also rolled a perfect game in the World Series of Bowling last November. On Shabbos, no less! Half of me is expecting someone to point out that it was this other cat, Mookie Betts from Virginia, who is a white guy who looks like Ed Kemper. (By the way, you kinda know Ed Kemper reads Razzball. You just know this.) So, out of habit, does Mookie spray his baseball cleats? Does he ever beat out an infield single and want to sweep out his right heel like he just threw a bowling ball? Between innings, does he play arcade games? How is Mookie Betts a world class bowler and not Matt Albers?! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, it was a good day (freaking brothers every way like M.J.) to be an ace. Corey Kluber went 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, 13 Ks, ERA at 1.57, pitching against the Tigers. One of the best, if not the best, pitchers goes against one of the worst, if not the worst, hitting teams, and you have a masterpiece by the pitcher. Just be clause. Qualifying, that is. To not be outdone, Max Scherzer went 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 0 walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.90, and stole his first base. Take that, Ohtani! Scherzer has 80 grade speed if he’s in a DeLorean and wants to go back to 1955. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?