If you said you loved Kevin Kline in the role of Cole Tucker, you wouldn’t be wrong. What can’t Kevin Kline do? Yo, Kevin Kline, wanna be my father? “Sir, this is a Cheesecake Factory and that’s James, our short-order cook, not Kevin Kline.” I’m crazy for rookie bats. As crazy as I am for rookie bats, I’m tepid on rookie arms. I don’t dislike them, but roofies are real and dangerous. Rookie bats, however…*places nose right above a stick of butter, inhales deeply* So, the Pirates called up Cole Tucker. He’s the sexiest Pittsburgh shortstop since….uh Jack Wilson wasn’t very sexy…uh…Jordy Mercer God no…Erik Gonzalez bleh…Arky Vaughan! Arky took no crap, quitting for three years at one point because he got sore at Leo Durocher for talking to the press about a teammate. And Arky still made the Hall of Fame! Of course, he had to wait 33 years after his death. Any hoo! Besides Cole Tucker sounding like he wears Vineyard Vines, what do we know about Tucker? He has 30-steal speed. Love that. Where else are we finding that? That alone is reason to grab him in every league. Yes, every league. Next up, he made swing adjustments and is more a 17-homer hitter than the under-5 homer guy he showed before this year. In 18 spring at-bats, he hit two homers. In 57 Triple-A at-bats, he hit three homers. In his first career at-bat with the Pirates, he homered. For power, I’m going to start saying Triple-A is samesies with the majors. We’ll see if my new approach pans out! So, 17/30/.250 while also taking a walk? I told you every league. The Ghost of Arky Vaughan can eat a D! (If the site suddenly goes down for three years, we know why.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Clint Frazier to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
The number one prerequisite for being in the Buy column is being owned in less than 50% of leagues. Hey, we all need cut-offs, which is why I’m wearing jorts. However, I wanted to write about Hunter Dozier so badly, I didn’t check his ownership numbers. We’ve got a full-on Grey crush! *turns over Trapper Keeper, looks for room between scribblings of Giancarlo and hearts* If I had any room on my Trapper Keeper, I’d add Hunter Dozier’s name. Exit velocity isn’t everything. Heck, it might not be anything, especially this early, but it at least means a hitter is squarely up the ball and putting a charge into it like Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Some names surrounding Dozier on the Hard Hit charts: Pete Alonso, Gary Sanchez, J.D. Martinez and Joc Pederson. Again, small samples and all, but Dozier has averaged 430 feet on his home run. Hit the ball hard and far? It’s a pretty nice recipe for success. Another thing in his favor is his walks are way up and his Ks are down. He is profiling as a 30-homer, .280 hitter right now. Even though his name sounds like a Cal-King mattress, don’t sleep on Dozier! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“After Chris Davis raved about it, I had to check it out.” said James Paxton, as he sipped maple syrup. He continued, “It was my favorite show since the last time I saw Rush.” The Canadian then put on moose antlers, an orange vest and grabbed his shotgun. Before he exited the press conference, he smiled, adding, “Eh.” So, James Paxton busted that slumped like Chris Davis before him and like every team that faces the Sawx. Crazy when you have Mookie Betts hitting near-.200 and Benintendi out of the lineup, what a massive hole the Red Sox become, or a Mass-hole for short. Yesterday, James Paxton went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.91, putting to doubt some concerns that he would be eaten alive by the New York lights. Paxton laughed, “It’s just like downtown Saskatchewan.” All the New Yorkers grinned, Paxton was already growing a tough, sarcastic sense of humor indicative of New York, when Paxton added, “Seriously, eh, there’s nothing finer than Regina.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m going to share a Missed Connection posting with you that I’ve been working on; let me know if there’s anything you’d change. “Hello, Ginger. I saw you at a Wetzel’s Pretzels in Roosevelt Field on Saturday. I don’t know if Ginger is your name, but your hair was the color of a carrot. Not a carrot’s top, that’s green. I don’t know why people say that’s orange. You looked off the scale on the crazy/hot ratio. Your arm freckles looked like God spilled Sunny D on you. One blonde child turned the corner, saw you and immediately started crying. Does any of this ring a bell? At one point, you stepped into a sliver of sunlight and starting screaming, ‘I’m burning!’ You were wearing a New York Yankees jersey with the name Frazier on the back. If this sounds like you, please contact me. I need an outfielder.” How’s that? Do you think I could get myself a 5th outfielder with that? So, Clint Frazier finds himself in an everyday job with the Yankees. How long he lasts is up to Giancarlo, Hicks and Gardner’s health, but I’d own Frazier everywhere to see if he can finally tap that speed/power combo. Speaking of which, he kinda looks like Pizza Combos. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back at it: grinding the sausage, stuffing the sausage, and inserting the sausage into various holes. This week they take a close look at two young arms off to very promising starts to the 2019 season: Yonny Chirinos and Spencer Turnbull.
The guys also discuss German Marquez’s first rocky 2019 outing in Coors, Max Fried’s emergence into relevance, and Baseball Savant’s fantastic new film review features. The show is rounded out with some rapid fire pickup options. Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity to insert the sausage into your ear holes!
Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 3-for-6, 6 RBIs with his 4th, 5th and 6th homer, hitting .258. “Thanks,” said Gary Sanchez’s owner from 2018, and I believe he was being sarcastic. You know how when you’re walking on the sidewalk and try to avoid stepping on the cracks because of the harm it will cause to your mother’s back? Then as you’re OCD-stepping around the cracks, you get off-step and start only stepping on cracks, and your mom texts you, “My back!” That’s what it must feel like for Sanchez’s 2018 owners. I know how you feel because that’s how it feels right now for me with Rougned Odor. I’m out in 2018 when Odor is decent, then in for this year’s abomination. When I’m supposed to avoid, I don’t and, when I’m supposed to be in on them, I’m not. FMFBBL! If you have Sanchez, well done, it looks like you’re back in for the good Gary. “Did someone say ‘back?'” Sorry, mom! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Today we have a very special Game of Thrones edition with your host, Ball-less Greyjoy. Or, I guess since it’s a Buy, as in pick up off waivers, it’s a Game of Thrones addition. To prep for the Game of Thrones finale, I pushed a kid out a window. As I get into bed with Cougs, I yell, “The one-eyed raven is here and winter is coming!” This show better not end as a Bob Newhart dream or in a snow globe of an autistic boy. As Daenerys would say, “I just flew to King’s Landing and boy are my armies tired.” I wonder if Daenerys used to be Daenery but added the S on the end like Kendrys. Speaking of which, Kendrys Targaryen has no position flexibility, and is just rigid, due to the 75 years he’s been guarding a freakin’ wall. Why does he guard the wall? Because of the dreaded White Walkers. The Night King, head White Walker, is Christian Walker. Since Kendrys Targaryen unleashed his dragon and it ate a Lamb (then burped fire), Christian Walker could see more time on the other side of the dugout wall. He’s shown good pop (who doesn’t sleep with mom who is his sister) and I’m adding him in all leagues. He hit 30+ homers in Triple-A, during his last full season there. Hopefully, George RR Martin doesn’t stop doing his bend the knee burpees at a Westeros Fitness and kill him off. Spoiler Alert! Game of Thrones ends with Fonzie jumping over a dragon. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well the first for-sure, definite, 100% confirmed, future Yankee free agent signing has signed with the Padres. And this kid is now every Yankee fan:
That was definitely me back in the early 90’s when my favorite player was Don Mattingly (because he lead the league in having a walrus mustache just like my Dad. Runner up: Dennis Eckersley.) Like all Yankee fans and the bandwagon Yankee fans, I then went through the arrogant highs of the late-90’s dynasty. Followed by the dark, lonely era of the Aughts which turned me into the bitter, jaded fan who grew sick and tired of the high-spending, future-sacrificing ways of the overpaid Yankees that I am today. My writer photo above is a sarcastic response to the Yankee fans who never grew out of the dynasty era and still yell “COUNT DA RINGS BRO! DEREK JETAHHH BABBYY!!!” Despite the Yankees only winning one championship in the last 19 years. But there is now a light at the end of that tunnel! Five of the players in the Yankees starting lineup are home grown players! Our ace came up through our own developmental system and wasn’t just plucked from some poor, small market, podunk team like the Reds! Our bullpen is TERRIFYING!
The eyes of Yankee Nation are set on only one thing: adding another championship ring to the trophy case. The team, fans and front office will accept nothing less. Right now, many experts have the Bombers tabbed as the World Series favorite — we’ll see how that all shakes out in October. I talked to Callen Elslager from the Fantasy Life Blog who just had his 2019 Yankees Team Preview published. Here are his thoughts on a few key questions the 2019 Bronx Bombers are facing:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ya know, if you’re gonna get busted for PEDs and be suspended for 80 games, the way to do it is right after fracturing your hand. It’s like coming down with mono the week of your prom when you have no date. “Damn, am I gonna miss that? That is too bad, but I am so drowsy I feel like I have two Forest Whitaker eyes.” That’s you getting prom-o-mono. I am more surprised to hear Robinson Cano was busted for PEDs, than I am to learn he had no idea he was taking the illegal substance. Baseball is currently batting a thousand for denials of PEDs suspensions. MLB players’ denials of taking the illicit substance should get into the Hall of Fame on its first ballot. Speaking of Hall of Fame, I kinda thought Robinson Cano was headed there. This will obviously shade a cloud over his entire career, which I do think is a shame. What’s also a shame, you need to drop him in all leagues. He’s more or less done for the year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The AL East is “big boy” baseball. Four teams from the division ended 2017 in the top 10 for home runs in all of baseball. The Yankees were first with 241, the Orioles were fifth with 232, the Rays were sixth with 228….Hold up. The Rays? Yes, the Rays. The final team was the Blue Jays with 222. With great power, comes great responsibility. Unfortunatley, there was a lot of DGAF’ing, as the Rays were second in MLB for striking out and the Orioles were eighth. From a pitching perspective, it would makes sense then that three of the teams (BOS, NYY, and TOR) ended top 10 in strikeouts. TB ended 11th. Big boy baseball indeed. To cement the point home, four of the teams (BOS, BAL, TB, and NYY) were bottom 10 in sacrifice hits. TOR was 13th. Small ball, schmal ball. Chicks dig the long ball. Ladies and gentlemen, the AL East.Please, blog, may I have some more?