In honor of the MLB lockout, I walked into a Starbucks, wearing a full baseball uniform, with stirrups, and ordered one of those 45-ingredient drinks that all the baristas hate to make, then said my name was Rob Manfred, and started screaming, “Don’t tell anyone the MLB Commissioner was in here! Do you hear me?! Don’t you dare tell anyone! Don’t call TMZ and send them the video you’re taking of me right now! Don’t you dare tell them Rob Manfred, MLB Commissioner, didn’t tip you either! That’s HIPA, so don’t you dare tell everyone any of that!” Then I stepped out of the store with my $37-dollar unicorn Frappuccino, took a big sip and realized they prolly spit in it. So, me and a bunch of Razzball commenters got together and took part in an NFBC Draft. I’m down to start another draft too, if there’s demand. Just ping the comments with a note that says something like, “Didn’t I see you in a Starbucks ordering a unicorn frappe?” I’ll make signups for the draft available on our Patreon first. For this draft, I used my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings (dur) and so did others, which screwed me real good, especially when someone drafted Steven Kwan like 150 picks before his ADP. You know who you are! This left me with a total shizzshow of an outfield, so that’s fun! Well, we’ll leave something for the recap, shall we? Yes, we shall! Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap; it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, draft and hold league that goes 50 rounds and has no waivers:
C: Alejandro Kirk (18)
C: James McCann (23)
1B: Jared Walsh (7)
2B: Jonathan India (4)
SS: Gleyber Torres (9)
3B: Jose Ramirez (1, 6)
MI: Josh Rojas (15)
CI: Eric Hosmer (21)
OF: Aaron Judge (2)
OF: Alex Verdugo (10)
OF: Dylan Carlson (12)
OF: Andrew Vaughn (17)
OF: Mike Yastrzemski (19)
Util: Vidal Brujan (22)
Bench: Jarren Duran (25), Triston Casas (27), Victor Robles (29), Clint Frazier (30), Dylan Moore (32), Nick Pratto (33), Willi Castro (35), Colton Welker (37), Kevin Smith (39), Ryan Vilade (41), Roberto Perez (43), Yonny Hernandez (45), Jeter Downs (47), Andrew Knizner (49), Yonathan Daza (50)
P: Robbie Ray (3)
P: Jose Berrios (5)
P: Will Smith (6)
P: Sean Manaea (8)
P: Jordan Montgomery (11)
P: Lou Trivino (13)
P: Mike Clevinger (14)
P: Bailey Ober (16)
P: Trevor Bauer (20)
Bench: Drew Steckenrider (24), Reid Detmers (26), Dane Dunning (28), Zach Thompson (31), Cole Irvin (34), Brad Keller (36), David Price (38), A.J. Puk (40), Kyle Wright (42), Andrew Chafin (46), Jaime Barria (48)
I’M GONNA TAKE A GUESS WHY YOUR OUTFIELD MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.
Go ahead, Mr. Al Bolden Capps.
BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T DRAFT ONE FOR 120 PICKS! MAN, YOU ARE SUPER DUMB. SERIOUS QUESTION, HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO PUT YOUR PANTS ON OVER YOUR HEAD?
Appreciate that. Never, and I mean never ever, have I waited so long to take my 2nd outfielder. There’s a case to be made I don’t like a lot of the guys going off the board in that time. Cedric Mullins? No thanks! Starling Marte? Not for me! Randy Arozarena? Not likely! Nick Castellanos? Actually, I like him. Ketel Marte? No relation to Starling, and, yes, I can dig it. But that’s the problem with just seeing my draft. You don’t know the shituation I found myself in.
I had to draft a starter in the 3rd round or risk waiting until the 4th, and “my” number ones were ready to come off the board in the 3rd. As I say in the top 20 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball, I’m not telling you to punt starters, just the very top ones. Once the very top ones are off the board, you have to draft a guy in a 15-team league, or risk waiting 18 picks (that was my wait between picks) and not getting anyone. I could’ve waited and grabbed Gausman or Sale, but there’s no way of knowing that at the time, which brings me to my pitching staff, it’s stacked.
OKAY, YOU’RE DYING TO DO IT, SO LAY ON US YOUR WAR ROOM TOTALS.
As everyone knows, I use Rudy’s Fantasy Baseball War Room for every draft. You can too — comes with the Razzball subscriptions. Also, if you’re not sure you understand what the War Room does, watch the videos I made on the War Room page. It doesn’t mean I follow all the rankings and projections in the War Room. I have my own thoughts. I mean, I need finger replacement surgery after writing 50,000 words about my own thoughts in the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. I usually don’t differ a ton from Rudy. Some? Sure. This draft seemed to highlight every guy I like that Rudy likes too. I haven’t shown this team to Rudy, but I bet he’d like it.
EWWW, GET A ROOM!
As you see my pitching is ridunk, and it didn’t come at a cost to my hitting. According to the War Room, at least. I’m not gonna ostrich my head into the sand and pretend my outfield is incredible, but I did get guys I like. Wrote an Andrew Vaughn sleeper, my top 40 outfielders tell you why I like Verdugo; I never draft Judge, but I do like him in my top 20 outfielders, and Carlson is in a favorable tier in the top 60 outfielders and same with Carl’s Jr. Jr. in the top 100 outfielders. The only real concern, as you see from the War Room totals, was my speed, so I grabbed Vidal Brujan…then Jarren Duran…then Victor Robles…then Clint Frazier–Okay, I went too far with backup outfielders and speed, and should’ve likely grabbed a different bench position early on, but you’re staring down a starting outfielder at pick 450 or an MI like Leury Garcia, and you’re like, “Meh, maybe this is Clint Frazier’s time, finally.”
HEY, SO I FELL ASLEEP FOR THE LAST FIFTEEN MINUTES, GUESSING I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING. HAVE YOU DISCUSSED YOUR PITCHING?
So, we have to address the elephant in the room. Are they filming a Nat Geo special? Why is there an elephant in here? Anyway, Trevor Bauer. He’s a giant piece of garbage, but so was Marcell Ozuna, and he was being a giant piece of garbage on camera, and MLB said Ozuna was fine to return. I don’t expect MLB to do anything more about Bauer, which is why I take daily trips to Starbucks to order a unicorn frappe, and why I drafted him at pick 294, which is about hundred picks after I have him ranked.
SO, BETWEEN THIS TEAM AND YOUR FIRST NFBC DRAFT OF THE YEAR, WHICH TEAM DO YOU LIKE BETTER?
You know what’s funny?
LITERALLY NOTHING HERE.
Just looking at the two teams, and I like that other team better, but if you look at the War Room totals, it’s not close. This team is way better. This is the other team’s War Room totals:
YOU’RE RIGHT, THAT WAS FUNNY.
Will be interesting to see how each team does.
I sense some sarcasm here, Mr. Al B. Capps.
NO WAY! NEVER!