Please see our player page for Jared Walsh to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

If you’ve got a younger sibling, you may remember those days when you’d take advantage of your physical/athletic superiority over them. You’d feel really big and bad if you could out-wrestle them; you’d let them get leads on you when playing sports at home, only to come back and take the lead and win at […]

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Takes off Hello Kitty headphones, places head on the train tracks. Faintly off in the distance, I can hear the very subtle call of exuberance. A very, small yay. That’s the sound of the one fantasy baseball owner who has Isaac Paredes in their lineup for his three-homer night (3-for-3, 4 RBIs, 6th, 7th, and 8th homer). I’ll be real with you, I was sweating this one for Mark Whiten. Back in 1993, Whiten glued four baseballs to his hand back, and he ain’t trying to get a new member of the club. For those of you singing, “I love a Paredes,” I know. This would’ve been Ethel Merman’s best day in fantasy baseball. RIP, you bussin’ Queen. Any hoo! Hard to hit three homers and not be a schmotato, so I could see grabbing Paredes, but Cash is there. Cash’s favorite movie? Platoon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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I don’t know how Kutter Crawford‘s parents immediately knew he was going to be a pitcher, but there’s no other way to explain him being named Kutter. Unless they promised the doctor to name the baby after him, and they failed to get his name, but it was a Cesarean. Any hoo! Since Nathan Eovaldi hit the IL with back inflammation — I prefer Nathan’s hot dogs vs. Nathan’s hot back — and Whitlock hit the IL, Kutter Crawford (5 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.74) could be in the rotation for the foreseeable future. Crawford had elbow issues for most of his professional career, which accounts for his low inning totals in the minors. His velocity touches 95 with two breaking pitches and appears to be an up-and-down arm, that would stick if he commands his pitches, which he seems unable to do, so he’s very risky. Guess he should be glad his parents didn’t name him, Intentionalwalk. Though, would’ve been nice if his folks just named him, Immaculateinning. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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The Astros are destroying the ball (unless the player’s jersey says “Bregman” on the back; no, my dynasty team isn’t frustrated at all). Everything Yordan hits is a nuke and the ‘Stros probably scored a financial coup signing him to “only” $116 million for the next six years. Kyle Tucker is still on pace for […]

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“Only thing better than three homers in a game is three World Championships in three years for three different teams.” — Joc Pederson probably. Joc Pederson is 80-grade fun. Maybe it’s the goofy paunchy body, maybe it’s the frosted hair that seems done by himself on a whim. I don’t know; he’s just so much fun. Yesterday, him and his fantasy owners had a whole lotta fun — 4-for-6, 8 RBIs and his 8th, 9th and 10th homers and his first career three-homer game. I know it’s inaccurate, but it feels like Joc Pederson hits 30 homers every year, and they’re all hit in the matter of 10 games. Think the only thing you need to know about Joc Pederson is this picture:

Joc Pederson has ice in his veins and NFTs in his crypto wallet. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Yesterday, Nick Pivetta went 9 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.22 vs. the Astros who put an absolute beating on the Red Sox on Tuesday like they were a garbage can lid. Yes, that Nick Pivetta aka The Stopper aka If The Red Sox Turn Their Season Around This Feels Like The Moment It Happens aka The Nick Pivetta of Every Fantasy Baseballers’ Dreams For The Last Five Years aka I Was Not Expecting That aka I Honestly Don’t Even Believe The Box Score And I Watched Five Innings Of This Game aka Nick Pivetta F*cks aka Should You Fall For The Nick Pivetta Tailpipe Again? aka That Means You aka Are You Following What I’m Putting Down? It’s Breadcrumbs To Nick Pivetta On Your Waivers aka Or Not But His Peripherals (8.7 K/9, 3 BB/9) Are Usable As Long As He Keeps The Ball In The Park aka Likely Streamonator In Shallower Leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Someone should start a class action lawsuit against the fantasy baseball ‘perts who told you to draft Liam Hendriks (1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.61) in the top 25 overall. Almost as bad as the ones who were drafting Emmanuel Clase in the first four rounds, even if he did get yesterday’s win. It’s inexcusable. For shame! Andres Gimenez (2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) started the Chi City meltdown in the 9th, homering off of Banks — can’t take that to you — and then Josh Naylor H.A.M. got on a roll. He should change his name to Josh, Naylor. Not as in his last name is Josh and it’s on an official government document, but as in “Gosh, Naylor.” I barely know her, but now we’re making eyes and I’m intrigued. Josh Naylor went 3-for-5, 8 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer, hitting .338, one of which was a grand salami of Hendriks, who I can imagine might’ve had some choice words afterwards — afterwords? Josh Naylor H.A.M. has been hot for a bit, but these were first homers in May. He’s a big-time power and hit-tool guy who has never clicked, maybe, pause for effect, until now. He could be Cleveland’s answer to Ty France. Call him Josh Ohio. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Secretly, what no one could know, before yesterday’s game in Milwaukee, Christian Yelich hired a hitman. Did he want something done to a person? Heavens no! His fine eh eff mother raised that boy well! No, what Yelich wanted done he whispered into the ear of the hitman he hired off of Craigslist. Thanks to scouts Razzball hired, we know what was said, and by ‘scouts,’ I mean eavesdroppers. Yelich whispered, “Take this baseball bat that does me no good, and beat the shi*t out of the humidor until it no longer functions.” Yelich said the only way they’d know definitively that the humidor is busted is if Keston Hiura (1-for-4, 2nd homer) could hit it out. Job well done, Humidor Hitman! Yelich also benefited from his own mafia ties (3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (4) and legs (3). The humidor hit was especially nice for me since two benefactors were two of my sleepers, Luis Urias (1-for-4, and his 1st homer, hitting leadoff), and the big star of the game, Willy Adames (2-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) hit his 7th and 8th homer, as he hits third. That sleeper of mine makes up for my Jarred Kelenic sleeper post! *dodges tomato* It doesn’t make up for it? *dodges another tomato* Okay! Geez! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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May the Fourth was with Rowdy-D2, as he had the night, that every hitter used to have in 2019, 4-for-6, 8 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer. Anyone who asks, I say grab Rowdy Tellez. You down to Jarred Kelenic or Rowdy Tellez and I’m Tellez who I want who I really really want. Wanna see who’s hot? Look at the 7-day Player Rater. Don’t have to scroll far down for Tellez. Wanna see a gorgeous Statcast page? Look at Tellez’s. I wrote a sleeper post last year for him, but my one caveat was: Does he have playing time? He struggled to find it; Jays shipped him off and now he won’t be denied, especially not on the planet of Tater-ooine:

Sorry, these are just so cringe that I can’t resist. Also, having a great night, and now deserves a Colt 45, was Andrew Cutchrissian (4-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs):

Okay, okay, one more, and this is the worst one, which makes it the best, Luis Chewurias:

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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