What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Think this is gonna be my set-it-and-forget-it greeting for the rest of my Razzcareer. I’ve got a new format for you gals and guys this week. Nothing groundbreaking, but I’m taking a page out of Keelin’s book and will be organizing this column by division. Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Drew Steckenrider to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Minnesota rookie shortstop slash prospect slash phenom slash heartthrob Royce Lewis finally broke out Friday night going 2-for-4 with his first career home run, a mammoth 105.1 mph grand salami! I don’t have to tell you that having your first big league home run be a grand slam foreshadows grandiose things for your future career. […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
In November, White Sox front office contacts Eloy Jimenez to discuss his offseason conditioning, and he’s like, “Conditioning? Yeah, of course, I’m doing offseason conditioning,” then he looks in the mirror in his shower and smiles, hair filled with conditioner. Eloy Jimenez gets himself ready for each game with a very special pregame warm-up. He warms up and opens a button on his shirt. Warms up more, and opens another button. I was curious why Statcast said Eloy Jimenez’s exit velocity was “one to three weeks into each season,” but now I see what they meant. Seriously, though, what is going on?! Last year, he jumped for a home run ball that was 75 feet past his reach, and knocked himself out for months, and this weekend he strains his hamstring by running like an absolute madman through 1st base. Someone needs to pull him aside and be like, “Yo, my main man, you’re here to swing hard and hit homers. You can’t run fast, you don’t have Inspector Gadget arms to catch home runs. Just swing hard. That’s it.” I love this guy so much and he causes me so much pain. Almost as much pain as he causes himself. So, he will be out for six to eight weeks, and Tony La Russa will still find reasons to bench Andrew Vaughn! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Jazz Chisholm Jr. (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) was moved back to the leadoff spot. Whatever was worked out between Jazz and Don Mattingly was worked out behind closed doors. There’s no way of knowing. What happened, if I had to guess, was Jazz said to Don, “I’m sorry for drawing a mustache on all the photos of you around the clubhouse. The Rollie Fingers-curl was especially inconsiderate. I still think your machismo is being undersold clean-shaven, but I respect your opinion.” Then Don replied, “And I’m sorry I said your parents have no taste for naming you after the worst Ken Burns doc.” Then later on, Jazz heard someone named John, thought it sounded too much like Don, and said this:
So, the Jazz drama’s prolly not done yet. I’ll admit to maybe being too reactionary about Jazz being a Sell in the 1st week because he was hitting 9th, and I’m glad Don came to his senses. Also, in this game, Jesus Sanchez (2-for-3, 3 runs and his 3rd homer), hit his third homer, and looks every bit of the sleeper I called him to be in the preseason. Speaking of sleepers, Rudy tells me the title means P = Pablo, Js = Jesus and Jazz. Mmmkay, and the Pablo Lopez (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 0.52) I was very worried about in the preseason looked as good as the Rodon and Kershaw, who I was equally worried about. It’s a long season though, and it’s not exactly actionable to say Pab-Lo will just get hurt, but, well, that was the concern with his shoulder. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)
You ever call up the Utz Potato Chip corporate office and ask to speak with that “cute chick on the bags?” You ever poke your right eye out and tell your friends to call you Natty Boh? You ever walk around a deserted park with a group of tourists showing them where Adnan Syed allegedly buried Hae Lee? You ever sell crack in Hamsterdam? No? What kind of Marylandian are you? Do you even have charm to fill a city, bro? You never ate a sandwich cookie and called it a Baltim-oreo? Never?! Dude, I don’t even know you. No wonder why you don’t already have Jorge Mateo on your team! So, somehow in last week’s Buy, when I was telling you about a ton of shortstops to look for on your waivers, I forgot our old stand-buy, Jorge Mateo. Apologies, but now’s when we make it right. Mateo had a year in the minors when he went 7/49. Sure it was ancient years ago, and he’s been in the minors for over a decade, but he’s still only 27 years old, and he still has just about the fastest sprint speed in the majors. He can steal 40+ bags this year. Will he get on base enough for that? P to the erhaps, but he also has 10+ homer power. He’s basically Myles Straw, but with middle infield eligibility. I’d suck that old Buy up for a dollar (and dribble it back out on some lovely crab cakes)! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s poppin’, Razzhooligans? Can you feel it? Regular season baseball will be here in 48 hours. Not long ago, I was certain we wouldn’t be playing probably at all this month. #grateful In my final preseason piece for you cool cats, I wanted to update my closer rankings since, well, a whole lot has happened […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
What it do, Razzballers! Praise be!! The lockout has been lifted! After weeks of nothing, not even freakin’ pictures of players, we’ll have Spring Training games in a week. It’s kinda bonkers to think about. What I wanted to highlight this week on the bullpen front were potential situations where Spring Training could impact who […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
In honor of the MLB lockout, I walked into a Starbucks, wearing a full baseball uniform, with stirrups, and ordered one of those 45-ingredient drinks that all the baristas hate to make, then said my name was Rob Manfred, and started screaming, “Don’t tell anyone the MLB Commissioner was in here! Do you hear me?! Don’t you dare tell anyone! Don’t call TMZ and send them the video you’re taking of me right now! Don’t you dare tell them Rob Manfred, MLB Commissioner, didn’t tip you either! That’s HIPA, so don’t you dare tell everyone any of that!” Then I stepped out of the store with my $37-dollar unicorn Frappuccino, took a big sip and realized they prolly spit in it. So, me and a bunch of Razzball commenters got together and took part in an NFBC Draft. I’m down to start another draft too, if there’s demand. Just ping the comments with a note that says something like, “Didn’t I see you in a Starbucks ordering a unicorn frappe?” I’ll make signups for the draft available on our Patreon first. For this draft, I used my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings (dur) and so did others, which screwed me real good, especially when someone drafted Steven Kwan like 150 picks before his ADP. You know who you are! This left me with a total shizzshow of an outfield, so that’s fun! Well, we’ll leave something for the recap, shall we? Yes, we shall! Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap; it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, draft and hold league that goes 50 rounds and has no waivers:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well hello there, Razz-folken!
Sorry, I’m working my way through Stephen King’s Dark Tower series (on Book 6 of seven — fantastic, trippy, masterful stuff), which contains some very interesting folken indeed. So that’s where that came from.
I’ve got some news for y’all. I am no longer the Injury Guru around these parts. I had my fill of ’em last year, let me tell you. Not sure my brain could handle tracking all that madness for another season (assuming we even get a full one…). Alas, the ever-so-talented-and-witty Keelin Billue will be manning the Ambulance Chasers column. Instead, I’ve become the official Bullpen Guru of Razzball! In addition to the weekly SAGNOF recaps, I’ll be in charge of our brand-spankin’ new Bullpen Chart, tracking who’s closing and who’s setting up across the MLB. Side note: I’m still waiting for the day SVHD becomes the standard category.
What I’ve got for y’all is just a good old-fashioned tiered ranking (catered toward the 12-team standard 5×5 audience). I could pretend I’m doing this for the people, but really this is as much for me as it is for you, dear reader. I’ve had my fantasy hockey helmet on, helping Viz over the on the Razzball Hockey side of things. Haven’t paid the best attention to the goings on in MLB — I could use a little brush up on how bullpens are looking.
Welp, I’ll quit dillydallying and get right to it. I’ll update these rankings eventually as things change throughout the course of the offseason. Some big names are still homeless as of now (you can find notes on them under the rankings themselves). These rankings stem from a combination of my genius brain and Rudy’s projections, which of course you can see over on the World Famous Razzball Player Rater.
I lied; I’ve got a little more dillydallying to do. I want to make it clear this is a focus solely on guys in closer situations. I’m looking at this through the lens of saves. I would personally rather own a Devin Williams type than a crappy closer like Cole Sulser in most instances, but I didn’t want to jumble up my tiers with guys who aren’t likely to get saves with any kind of regularity. Devin Williams, Craig Kimbrel, Jonathan Loaisiga, etc. do not appear in what you’ll see below. Maybe I’ll get around to some HAGNOF rankings, but you can always pop over to the Bullpen Chart and the Player Rater to find guys to help you with holds. And one last note: even though you see numbered rankings, they’re more of a formality. I treat everyone pretty much equally within their respective tiers, and it could shake out to where any one of them could out-rank the other. Is that a cop out for “hindsight is 20/20” purposes? Maybe! Oh, and the stats you see are 2021’s totals. Duh.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here you will find bullpen charts for each team. Bullpens are a messy business to track, but the purpose here is to highlight each team’s closer(s) and setup men. You can more or less expect the chart to read left-to-right in order of importance, but again, it can be a fluid situation day-to-day, week-to-week (looking at you, Tampa Bay Rays!). So, not only are we highlighting saves options, we’ve got you saves+holds folks covered, too!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Red Sox first baseman slash DH slash pink hat heart throb Bobby Dalbec continued his power barrage Friday night going 2-for-4 with a solo home run, his 21st, and a triple with two runs scored. Bobby D now has three dingers (we call them Bobby Dal-jacks) in the past three days and he’s done nothing but mash since Boston gave him full reign of the first base job post-All Star break. He was a BUY this week, and I while told you to grab him back in June, I’ll admit that was a bit premature. Bobby is a little bit, hmm, how do I say this nicely, “raw”, as his 138 strikeouts in 368 at bats clearly illustrates. But yo, the power is real, and it is spectacular. Something has clicked for him post-All Star break, maybe it was the hitting coach, maybe it was the COVID, maybe it was the Kyle Schwarber trade threatening his playing time. Whatever it was, he slashed .339/.431/.774 in August with seven Dal-jacks and 21 RBIs. He also struck out just 18 times, his lowest monthly total all year. His September has looked a lot like his August so far, .321/.387/.786 with a 1.205 OPS. He’s also taking more pitches, and this is resulting in him getting the pitches he wants to hit into the stands. He’s got 11 walks since the start of August, and he had just 13 walks through the first four months of the season. I’m saying the kid is figuring it out, on the job, at a crucial time for this Red Sox team in a wild card race and he is delivering. Sure the Ks are still there–ten strikeouts in the past 10 games, but like I said the power is legit-piece, and his .247 isolated power is one of the tops in the league. I don’t know what your fantasy team needs at this point in the season, and tbh you might be better off checking out Razzball’s Fantasy Football Rankings, but if you need power–Bobby D has got you covered. He’s hitting .317 over the past two weeks with 5 homers and 11 RBIs (9 homers in his past 23 games) and should continue to get plenty of chances while the Red Sox chase the postseason. Grab him if you like home runs–this kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
This is The Save Vulture Dance. Sing it like it’s The Electric Slide.
[spoken word intro]
The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles or gets traded and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. And if you don’t give up, or give in, you may just be okay…OKAY!
Snap, snap, Giovanny Gallegos, Genesis Cabrera, Alex Reyes, claw, claw, save.
Save vultures aren’t reproducin’ cuz they’re uze overweight guys,
Preferin’ to watch sports highlights than listen to the girl they’re datin’. Sighs.
Snap, snap, Joe Barlow, Spencer Patton, claw, claw, save.
The save vulture’s claws are orange from Cheetos dust,
The orange reminds them of all that Orioles’ fuss.
Snap, snap, Cole Sulser, Tyler Wells, No One Because The O’s Won’t Win, claw, claw, save.
Teams that flipped their closers for prospects at the trading deadline and are now losin’,
They still haven’t figured out who’s closin’.
Snap, snap, Paul Sewald, Drew Steckenrider, Kyle Finnegan, Dylan Floro…*huff, huff, out of breath* …keep on going!…Anthony Bender, David Bednar, Carlos Estevez, Chris Stratton, Codi Heuer, Rowan Wick, claw, claw, save.
Guys who have just sucked and teams needed to look elsewhere,
Desperate, you look like Walter White in his underwear,
Snap, snap, Emmanuel Clase, Adam Ottavino, Johnny Lasagna, Andrew Chafin, Sergio Romo, claw, claw, save.
[spoken word outro]
Now ya know, if you need saves in the final month. [sax plays us out] Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaves. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball: