Minnesota rookie shortstop slash prospect slash phenom slash heartthrob Royce Lewis finally broke out Friday night going 2-for-4 with his first career home run, a mammoth 105.1 mph grand salami! I don’t have to tell you that having your first big league home run be a grand slam foreshadows grandiose things for your future career. He joins Danny Santana as the second Twin to hit a grand slam as their first career dinger. I know, whata name drop! I would quote some Royce da 5’9 lyrics here if I knew any. Now Lewis hasn’t exactly burst onto the fantasy scene, but he definitely hasn’t struggled either. He’s hit safely in six of his seven games and has started in all of them since his call up last Friday, and three of his eight hits have gone for extra bases. The .320/.320/.520 slash is real pretty so far and The Itch ranked him just outside the top 100 prospects in baseball–noting he’s got boom or bust potential. Well, I’m seeing more boom than bust in these early returns! His launch angle is solid, the hard hit percentage is good, I know we’re dealing with a tiny sample size but the AAA stats are even more impressive. He hit .310 with 15 extra base hits (three homers) and eight steals in just 24 games! Umm, who is watching me sleep because those numbers are eerily similar to the player of my dreams! The caveat with Royce of course is that he’s only here as a temporary fill in while Carlos Correa is injured. But methinks Carlos just signed a huge contract so he’s in no rush to get back, and as long as the Lewis continues hitting I can’t see Manager Rocco Baldelli sending him back down. Grey told you BUY citing his 30/30/.270 type tools, and think he’s worth a flier cuz upside. I’m telling you Royce could be a real noice addition to your fantasy squad!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Pablo Lopez – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 11 K. ERA increased to 1.05 with the disastrous outing. In a rotation full of Aces, Pablo has slowly become Miami’s Ace. At least until Max Meyer arrives.

Corbin Burnes – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 7 K. Corbin Burnes the candle at both ends! He was in Miami after all. That’s his sixth straight quality start and that 57/8 K/BB flusters me more than Wanda Maximoff doing dark magic. Here’s a first round pitcher that is actually worth drafting in the first round. It’s baffling that he has just a single win, but it also doesn’t really matter.

Kolten Wong – 1-for-4, HR (2). I keep mentioning Wong, and not just because I’m talking Dr. Strange movies. It’s because he’s hitting .286 with a a homer and two steals in the past week.

Jesus Aguilar – 1-for-4, HR (4). You don’t mess with the Jesus on shomer shabbos!

Byron Buxton – 1-for-3, HR (10). BB and Jorge Polanco (4) both went yard in the first inning and the Twinkies never looked back. Even Gary Sanchez (2-for-5, 3-run HR (2)) homered. The bad baseballs are fixed, everybody!

Sonny Gray – 4.1 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 4 BB, 8 K. Considering he’s still being stretched out he’s looked pretty okay. Even good? Hoping Sonny-er days are ahead!

Andres Gimenez – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (4), 2 RBI. Oscar Mercado (4) and Austin Hedges (3) also homered. Andres was a BUY, and Grey wants him to steal more. But maybe that’s Myles Straw’s job. Or maybe he needs to hit higher in the order?

Ben Gamel – 2-for-4, 2 runs, HR (3) slashing .307/.381/.475. Sits versus lefties and leads off for the worst team in pro sports but he’s got two homers in the past week hitting .375. He was a BUY and if you have to gamble on Gamel I won’t tell anybody.

Mike Moustakas – 2-for-5, HR, 2 HR (3). The Reds are getting A LOT of grief for being so terrible and having terrible management, and ownership, and ERA, and lineup, but IMHO they were hit pretty hard by injuries (still are) early, and now that key guys like Tyler Stephenson, Moose, and Castillo are back and performing they’ve won three in a row and six of their past eight!

Tyler Naquin – 3-for-4, 2 runs, batting .379 with 9 RBI and a steal in the past week. So they’re not as terrible as the record makes you think, but yeah still pretty bad though.

Brandon Drury – 2-for-5, HR (7), 4 RBI slashing .260/.339/.563. BUY. Drury’s still out on Drury. Excuse me are you saying jury? If you grabbed him when Laura Holt told us to you’d have 10 hits, 3 bombs, and 12 ribbies in the past week. Did you know there are other writers on this site that give way better advice than me? I appreciate the fierce loyalty but check out this Grey guy, too–he’s a riot.

TJ Friedl – 1-for-3, 2 runs, SB (3). TJ’s Friedl’d up three SBs in 3 days and 7 runs in the past week while leading off for the surging Reds! And yes, that’s three Red Leg blurbs which could be a 2022 first and definitely a goocher.

Tyler Mahle – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, BB, 8 K, 2nd win. Are you sick of hearing about the Reds yet? Last one, what if I said Mahle’s a buy low? Mark my words, the Reds will win the Corn Game this year!

Josiah Gray – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 6 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 3 HRs. I don’t know what you expected facing the hottest team in beisbol but 5 ER in the first was about what I expected. What I did not expect was him to pitch five more innings after his 5 run first, and for that, he earns my respect and I can’t wait to see him dominate the Marlins next week.

Framber Valdez – 7.2 IP, 7 hits, ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 2nd win. The Astros are so ridiculously hot right now they’d make Hansel jealous. 11 wins in a row and with a pretty favorable schedule ahead of them next week they might not be close to done yet. Are we sure they’re not still cheating?

Yordan Alvarez – 2-for-4, HR (11), 2 RBI slashing .280/.381/.640. Jose Altuve (6) and Yuli Guerriel (1) also homered. Oh, just Astros Astro’ing. Forget the Franmil count. Air Yordan is gonna hit 50 homers. If not more. Do Razzball writers get an MVP vote? Because I think I’d vote for this guy.

Jason Adam – 1.0 IP, K, SV (1). It’s because you picked up Brooks Raley, isn’t it? You know it is! Shame on you.

Raimel Tapia – 2-for-2, run, RBI. George Springer left the game with a “mild” left ankle sprain sprain because of course he did. He’s more Mr. Glass than Mr. Glass in that M. Night Shyamalan movie I couldn’t follow. This means more playing time for Ramiel Tapia the morning to ya, Kendrick!

Kevin Gausman – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, BB, 8 K 2.40 ERA, 0.98 WHIP. It’s the 54/2 K/BB for me though. Speaking of best in the biz, what do we think of Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers? Is Mr. Morale disc 1 and the Big Steppers disc 2? Doesn’t matter it all slaps. I especially like Kdot going straight bars for 18 tracks. Oh, did you want radio hits? Maybe next time. That’s right, most excitedly, the wait for his next album starts now!

Drew Rasmussen – 5.2 IP, 3 hits, ER, BB, K. Uncle Drew has been more or less underwhelming but the fact that I started him with total confidence versus Toronto says something about how trustworthy he’s been. Also, his 2.67 ERA and 0.92 WHIP have kept my ratios from being a complete disaster.

Marco Gonzales – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, 3 BB, 5 K. I went over my streaming option for Friday and saw Marco, and I considered it and I knew it was the safest choice imaginable and I still went with the guy who gave up 5 ER. And I’d do it again!

Drew Steckenrider – 1.0 IP, SV (2). Paul Sewald (1.1 IP, 2 K, W) set him up for his 2nd win. Steck is prob the top guy, but if you are looking for saves from the Mariners bullpen would you also be interested in buying all my NFTs off me? I am kind of in a bad way financially right now.

Max Scherzer – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 6 K, ERA at 2.66. If only Jarred Kelenic were still here, that could have been 10 Ks!

Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-4, HR (2), 2 RBI slashing .276/.325/.381. 10 years later and he’s still the best hitter on this team. And it’s not that close!

Eduardo Rodriguez – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 3 K, 1st win. I hate on EdRod cause I love, and also because he’s overpaid. But so what. You know who else is overpaid? ME! I would do this for free.

Will Vest – 0.2 IP, 2 K, SV (1). Simply the Vest! Gregory Soto managed one laborious out and Vest came in to finish the job. Does this mean he’s the new closer? Well, he’s just recently been getting late inning work but he’s been Detroit best reliever by far with a 1.17 ERA and 20/3 K/BB. I’m saying I could see him getting the next save chance, but Manager Hinch assures it will go to Soto, and to be honest, he would know better than me.

Nick Pivetta – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, BB, 4 K, 1st win. Got that first dubya tho. Better May than never. Ignore the bad exit velocity and the lack of whiffs. Nicky P is slowly, (so slowly) creeping up my streaming radar after kamikaze diving off of it in May, but he gets Houston next week and you don’t want no part of the Astros right now, Dewey.

Dane Dunning – 5.2 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 6 K. Worse than it looks, 4 of those runs came in the sixth. Still, if his name was Dune Dunning the sixth inning was his sandworm.

Xander Bogaerts – 2-for-5, run, 2 RBI. Awesome X! Even Trevor Story had a hit! Maybe life is worth living?

Wil Myers – 3-for-4, 3 runs, HR (1), 3 RBI. Eric Hosmer also had 3 hits. As the 2012 Future Stars have come alive for the P-Dres in a big way! Can you believe Manny Machado is the #1 player? I feel like I haven’t mentioned him all year. Oh, see what I did there!

Ha-Seong Kim – 3-for-5, 3 runs, HR (4), 3 RBI slashing .224/.340/.435. Not pictured in this stat line is the 3-for-32 he went leading up to this game. Or the anguish on my face when I had to drop CJ Abrams.

Dansby Swanson – 2-for-4, HR (3), 4 RBI. Swanson be serving up that Winner Chicken Dinner! He’s also got two steals in the past week! Dansby good like that!

Yu Darvish – 5.2 IP, 9 hits, 5 ER, BB, 4 K versus Max Fried – 6.0 IP, 9 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 6 K. So either the baseballs aren’t dead anymore or Manfred was right about just waiting for the weather to warm up? Everyone and their mom hit a home run last night, as long as they weren’t on my team. I refuse to believe Manfred is right about anything so let’s go with someone DEFINITELY did SOMETHING to those baseballs!

Logan Webb – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, K, 5th win. Logan could be a 20 game winner and he hasn’t even been all that impressive. The 3.48 ERA is fine, but four starts with three Ks or less? Do better, please!

Jordan Hicks – 5.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. If they stretch him out one extra pitch per start he should be able to pitch deep enough into a game to grab a win by early August!

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-4, HR (3). Au Shizz! Pauly G is a Jersey sure thing!

Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-4, HR (10).  Aaron Judge (12), Josh Donaldson (4) and Joey Gallo (4) all homered with two hits apiece. And oh no the Yankees are really very good. Judge leads the league in dingers if you care about things like stupid awards given to stupid Yankees. Me? I think it’s stupid.

Gerrit Cole – 6.1 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, BB, 9 K, 3rd win. Agh! I’m so sick of talking about the damn Yankees.

Gavin Sheets – 2-for-4, HR (4), 2 RBI. That’s three ding dongs in four days if you’re keeping track on your who’s homering on the Southside that’s not Eloy tracker.

Christian Walker – 2-for-4, run, RBI. He was a BUY! And Grey said, “Don’t think this is some kind of breakout, but it’s good to see,” Wow! High praise! What!? We can’t be happy for players?

Daulton Jefferies – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 4 K. Kudos to you brave sir if you streamed him against the Angels in this one, he’s looking like a bonafide MediOAKer to me.

Andrew Benintendi – 3-for-6, HR (2). The Benny bomb! He’d been pretty ice cold prior to this, but he’s still on pace for a career year and the .324/.374/.423 looks pretty OK. At the very least it’s better than what Franchy Cordero is doing.

Hunter Dozier – 5-for-5, 4 runs, RBI. The Royals put up 13 runs on 18 hits at Coors. Batting .370 in the past week. Don’t sleep on Dozier!

Brendan Rodgers – 3-for-5, HR (2), 4 RBI. Sam Hilliard also homered and stole a base with two hits. It’s hard to recommend these guys when I have no idea if they will play or not, but Rodgers is way past due. After hitting .078 in April, Rodge is batting over .300 in May. Baby steps.

Justin Turner – 3-for-5, 2-run HR (2), 4 RBI. Chris Taylor also homered (2). Speaking of past due, JT’s got 13 ribbies in the past week because the Dodgers obviously needed more firepower than Mookie, Trea and Freeman were providing. Maybe the problem isn’t the ded beisbols, maybe it’s that all the best players are on 5 teams, and every other team is garbo.

Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-5, 2 runs, HR (8), 2 RBI. A 430 footer. An absolute shot. The Phillies are one team that aren’t going to stay cold for very long.

Bryce Harper – 3-for-4, HR (8), 3 RBI. All extra base hits, and he’s doing it with a torn UCL, I guess? Sweet sassy molassy! That’s three tanks and three steals in the past week batting close to .500. Don’t ask me where my UCL is but I’m guessing I don’t need it to gush about B-Ryce.

Chase Silseth – 6.0 IP, 1 hit, 2 BB, 4 K, 1st win. Rise of the Silseth! Introducing the first Razzball appearance for the rook–so say hi to your mom, Chase, and let me educate ya’ll jokers! You know you’re underground when you’re not even in the ESPN Extended Fantasy Universe (ESPNFU). Chase becomes the first 2021 draftee to make it to the bigs and he definitely earned it with his pristine 1.73 ERA, 0.84 WHIP and 37/7 K/BB for the AA Rocket City Trash Pandas, which is not a Pokémon league team believe it or not. Silseth rocks a 96-98 mph fastball, a 12-6 curve and a nasty slider. I know it was the Oakland A’ss but shutting out any team in your debut raises my eyebrow, Dwayne Johnson. Initially, just a spot start because the Angels play a double header this weekend, Maddon was gushing about him postgame so despite a very crowded starting rotation I think we could see more of Chase sooner rather than later and he is a name to remember. If he gets another start he could potentially line up against Oakland again next week, which means, dot dot dot…Revenge of the Silseth! Make it happen Maddon! For Padma!

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!