Please see our player page for Raimel Tapia to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Hope our five girl readers had a beautiful Mother’s Day yesterday. I sent my mother a trade offer sending her Tyler Flowers and Goodrum. She appreciated the thought. Also, I wore pink the entire day for you mothers, because that is a very girly color that baseball keeps perpetuating every year. Why can’t mothers be into purple or lavender or mauve or rose or fuchsia or flamingo or other shades of a color similar to purple or pink? How about next year all players wear lavender pants suits for Mother’s Day? Ooh, I have an idea. Since all pink bats are relegated to the trash bin after Mother’s Day, how about players use them again to raise awareness to spay or neuter your pets?  Like an in-heat bitch (medical term in vet school), George Springer was hot with that pink bat (more vet med terms), going 5-for-5, 5 runs, 4 RBIs with his 14th and 15th homer, hitting .321.  The good news is he’s finally living up to his top 10 potential.  The bad news is his owners from last year are on suicide watch.  But, hey, it’s not us, right?! (Actually, it is me. Damn.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jacob deGrom.  That almost says it all.  Sure, he’s 2-4 with a 3.60 ERA this year on the whole.  But in the month of May he is back to his dazzling self: 1.24 ERA, 13 Ks, 3 BB in 14 innings.  And if that wasn’t enough, he’s toeing the rubber against the 30th ranked run scoring team in the majors.  Not only are the Florida Marlins the 30th ranked offense, they’re a full 20 runs behind the 29th ranked Detroit Tigers.  That’s worse than the lazy plot devices going on in Game of Thrones!  The Marlins are so bad, and deGrom is so good, the Mets are favored at -410.  A whole season goes by and you don’t see a line like that.  He’s expensive ($11,300), but there is no surer thing on FanDuel this year than deGrom against the Marlins.  Of course, there’s more than one way to skin a FanDuel lineup, so on to the picks.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Scott Schebler looks about as DFA-able as I’ve seen anyone look in some time.  DFA stands for Da F**k Attahere.  Even if he’s not, Nick Senzel was promoted and is hitting 2nd tonight.  So, what are we banking on, or simply FDIC?  That’s not regarding fiduciary concerns, that’s F**k Do I Care?  Or more accurately, why am abbreviating everything a NYC cabbie says? Senzel has speed/power and could hit .315+.  He is one of the best pure hitters in the minors.  It’s the Senzel SZN!  SZN stands for Senzel, which means I just said, “It’s the Senzel Senzel!”  Not only is Senzel owned in all of my leagues, but guys like Rudy have owned him all year, stashing him on their bench.  I point to Rudy specifically, because he’s fairly agnostic on rookies, in general, so you know there’s something here.  Things break right and Senzel could be the number one call-up this year.  Yes, I avoided all the talk about his injuries, except for this throwaway comment, but we’re talking about the positives.  It’s Friday, LMFAO!  That’s Leave Me F**K Alone, Octopus.  I’m floating in a giant aquarium as I write this.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Another week, another seven days of fantasy baseball disappointment and injury frustration… at least for those Corey Kluber and A.J. Pollock owners out there.  The good news with these two one-time fantasy studs, if there is any, is that sadly, they cannot really do more damage out of your lineup than they were doing while they were active in 2019.  Losing someone you drafted early gets more devastating the deeper the league is, and sometimes you just have to hope other owners are dealing with as much bad luck as you are.  For now, let’s move right on to looking at some players that may be on the radar for those of us in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m not going to say the Reds lineup is bad.  I won’t mention how Jose Iglesias is the only everyday hitter with an average above .224.  I won’t mention how their three-hole hitter is Derek Dietrich, a hitter who couldn’t even start for the Marlins.  I won’t say how Yaisel Puig is hitting .178.  Or Eugenio Suarez is hitting .224.  Or how Joey Votto didn’t even start, because he sucks too.  I won’t mention how Jose Peraza and his .200 average hit fifth yesterday like he’s a power hitter.  Nah, why mention any of that?  This is about Noah Syndergaard (9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, and he pitchslapped Del Taco’s T. Mahle) and how he’s back, supposedly.  It’s just the third shutout in the majors this year with Mike Minor and German Marquez, and we all know Mike Minor’s an ace, so that’s great company.  Let’s just say Noah Syndergaard’s 5.02 ERA is better today than yesterday, but am I predicting he’s fully back to the top 10 pitcher everyone was drafting him as?  Yeah, uh, no.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Royals swept the Rays yesterday in a doubleheader, taking down Blake Snell (3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.31).  Snell can’t handle the Royals, they can Snell what he’s cooking.  As Razzball commenter, tigersharkz said, “Yep, Snell’s fine. Recovering from a broken toe in 10 days happens all the time in real life.” From Young MC’s Bust A Move, “Blake is getting shot down because he’s over-Snellous. …so hey, Reigning Cy, don’t bust a toe.”  No foolsies, but pitchers need their toes to push off, and anything can get them out of whack.  I’m officially concerned.  Of course, the Royals were led by Adalberto Mondesi (3-for-7, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (4) and double legs (9, 10) on opposite sides of a doubleheader, hitting .295).  Adalberto is my daddy — excuse me, Addadytogrey Mondesi. He’s now on pace for 20/50/.290. Yeah, terrible 2nd round pick. Also, chipping in for the Royals was Kelvin Gutierrez (2-for-7, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer). How big is this guy? Have you seen him? He’s like $54 T-bone vending machine steak. (Gonna keep using this until it catches on.) Is he related to The Big FraGu (throwback)?  KelGu, take me away.  He looks like he should be able to hit 20 homers and steal 10+ bags, but I don’t know if he’ll have the playing time, so best for deeper leagues for now. Terrance Gore keeps hitting (1-for-4, 1 run, hitting .400).  I’d like to see Terrance Gore on the Big floor piano. It would be like Jerry Lee Lewis on coke. …Whole Lotta Stealin’ Going On!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*blows dust off cover to the book, “Raimel Tapia, Fantasy Sleeper”* Just found this book on a shelf in this Colorado-area bookstore.  “I think this is yours.”  The bookstore owner holds up a copy of, “Josh Rutledge’s Fantasy Sleeper.”  Haha, no, that’s not mine.  “It says “Property of Grey Albright.”  Can I just read from one of your other books in peace without paying for it?  No wonder bookstores are all going out of business, you don’t leave your customers alone!  Any hoo, as I was saying about Raimel Tapia, he was a 2015 Pick-to-Click, a 2016 Gotz-to-Getz-Him, a 2017 This-is-the-Year and a 2018 Absolute-Must-Own for a reason.  He has 15-homer power and 25-steal speed who shouldn’t hurt you in average (think .270).  The problem for so long has been the Rockies’ inability to kowtow to fantasy owners and play the sexy guys.  Not unrelated, Garrett Hampson is due for everyday playing time in 2023.  However, something interesting has happened recently — interesting is subjective but if you’re reading this I assume it applies — Ian Desmond has been getting benched regularly.  Finally!  If Tapia gets 5+ starts a week, he is a Pick-to-Click-Gotz-to-Getz-Him-This-is-the-Year-Absolute-Must-Own in all leagues.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you came here for NFL Draft coverage, you’re in the wrong place. However, I do enjoy the adjectives given to the young “glass eaters” of the gridiron. If your team drafted a guy with “oily hips” or “elite wiggle” you’re winning. If anything can tie into oddly descriptive words for twenty year old men, it’s OPS! Two weeks ago in this space, we recommended adding Christian White Walker, Trey Mancini, and Maikel Franco. The latter has come back down to earth since his hot start, but Walker and Mancini are still raking. Along with most of the top SP getting rocked this year, the 1B position has been chaos as well. Walker, Mancini, Pete Alonso, and Daniel Vogelbach are all in the top 10 at the position. Hunter Dozier is eleventh. If you drafted Edwin Encarnacion, Max Muncy, or Jesus Aguilar hopefully you stashed one of these other “plug and play guys” until they figure things out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, on the way to the park, Chris Paddack felt under the weather.  Not to confuse people, Paddack had the flu, there’s no weather in San Diego.  So, Chris Paddack was touching 100, and I’m not talking about his fastball.  As Paddack made his way to the mound, he’d cough and:  “You rang?”  That’s the on-staff hernia nurse.  Well, it’s not just the hernia nurse who’s on-staff when it comes to Paddack.  Yesterday, he dismantled the Mariners — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.67 in 27 IP, getting some swinging strikes that were…Well, one swing by Daniel Vogelbach was the highest pitch generating a swing all year at four-feet and eight-inches aka “an Altuve.”  Currently, Paddack sits at 10 K/9, 2.7 BB/9 and a 3.80 xFIP, and, Steamer’s rest-of-the-season projections for him are 3.49 ERA with a 10 K/9 in 120 IP, i.e., a top 40 starter in all mixed leagues.  With all his commercials, Justin Verlander can push his Flonase down our throats (noses?), but Paddack pitching is sick — God bless you!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It had been so long since I drafted Zack Wheeler (7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners (zero walks), 11 Ks, ERA at 4.85) in multiple leagues, and, after so many subpar efforts, I was beginning to forget why I drafted him as my number two.  Was a number two a harbinger of things to come, I asked myself while sitting on the toilet.  His control in previous starts left something to be desired, which is the understatement of the year after:  Christian Yelich’s poster is on just a few ceilings in Milwaukee of couples who are trying to have a baby.  And the guys are the ones looking up.  Yesterday, Wheeler pinged up on my iCal, reminding me why I wanted to own him.  If you weren’t able to see him or the highlights, he is the first pitcher to throw 100 MPH and pitchslap the opposing pitcher, Zach Eflin (4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.15) with a 100+ MPH exit velocity.  “I’d like to report a Zack on Zach crime.”  911 Operator, “Is it a H or K on the first Zack?”  “Get down here!”  If Wheeler pitches like he did yesterday, he’s not a number two.  Dot dot dot.  He’s a number one!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?