Please see our player page for Kolten Wong to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The Orioles are on pace to give up 1,776 home runs, because they’re close to our nation’s capital, and that is a great figure, a historic number.  A cannot be imitated — help me out here, Captain Lou Albano — never duplicated number.  Scratch that, they’re now on pace to give up 1777 home runs because of the Battle of the Assunpink Creek. That was also the title of the Pink concert when her stretch pants were a little too skimpy in the back.  “I see your Assupink Creek 2017.”  Great show, the aerobatics alone.  So, I try to avoid making every lede about hitters in Coors or facing the Orioles, but here goes, because Gleyber Torres has 14 homers against the O’s in five games and 12 homers on the year.  There’s math involved in that number.  He went 2-for-5 with his 11th and 12th homers.  Next up, literally, Brett Gardner (3-for-4, 1 run) hit more doubles than the sketchy guy at the craps table who kept betting the horn and looking over his shoulder.  DJ LeMahieu (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR) was on the ones and twos, but mostly on the ones, since he hit leadoff and his 4th homer.  Gary Sanchez (2-for-4) hit his 15th long ball and don’t mention hitting balls around Gary, he crosses his legs.  Then there’s Thairo (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR), who should be on the Iron Throne, but that’s a hot internet take, and I’m here for cold ones, but he even has three homers because Our Commissioner Manfred sticks Capri Sun straws into balls and juices them up.  If you learn nothing else from this post, and you might not, stream all hitters vs. the Orioles.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My preseason NL MVP pick was Travis Shaw.  *turns to a mirror* You’re handsome, but hella stupid.  My mirror reflection separates from my body.  The apparition picks up a see-through suitcase, “I think it’s time we went our separate ways.”  But how will you get along out there without me? Can an apparition order Chick-fil-A or boba? “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”  It was one bad call.  “Tell that to my teams with Travis Shaw and Daniel Palka.”  Nooooooo!!!  Any hoo!  My soul left me after I told it to draft Travis Shaw, and I can’t blame it.  What a garbage call.  Maybe Shaw will return as Travos so we can “see worth.”  It’s a game of puns!  With the Brewers moving on from Shaw by sending him to the Ineffective List, they called up Keston Hiura.  I know I say this shizz three times a week, but he could be *the* call-up of the year.  Here’s what I’ve said in the past, “One scout said this offseason at the Arizona Fall League, ‘We all talk about the bat of Vladdy, with obvious reason, but outside of Vladdy, I’d call Keston Hiura the purest power bat I saw out in Arizona. He’s just a special, special kid.’  The scout continued, ‘Have you seen my chew?’ turning his lip inside out, ‘Ah, there it is,’ then after a pause, ‘I’m big league, baby!’ I actually have owned Huira for the better part of two years in two separate NL-Only leagues, and I’m a fan.  Think there’s a chance for a 18/7/.270 season.  That sounds downright–Don’t say Jed Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie– Led Jowrie!  (What’s worse, I thought of saying ‘what Brett Lawrie was supposed to be’ — woof!)  In Double-A last year, Hiura hit 6 HRs with 11 SBs and .272 in only 73 games, but his bat will play, and, as mentioned above about how he looked in Arizona, he destroyed the AFL, getting better and better.”  And that’s me quoting me!  He continued to get better this year, hitting .333 with 11 HRs in 37 Triple-A games, while chipping in four steals.  He was striking out way too much in Triple-A to hit .333 in the majors, but 18/7/.270 sounds about right from this point forward with a chance for more.  Maybe he could even be the NL MVP.  I’m kidding, apparition!  Please, come back, I’m empty inside!.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve never been that high on Corey Seager. Back in February I only had him ranked 52nd on this list. Back then I said, “A 25-HR bat with a .300 average? That’s not bad — but boy if he could even just manage 10 stolen bases I’d like him more.” Seager owners are probably begging for a 20 HR bat with a .250 average at this point. Long term? I think he’ll be more Corey Seager 2016 than Kyle Seager 2018. I still worry about that power cap and complete lack of speed though.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There hasn’t been a  #1 ranked hitter in my rankings besides Mike Trout since he went down with an injury at the beginning of August 2018. His replacement, Mookie Betts was in the thick of his AL MVP/World Series campaign and the difference between them wasn’t that vast anyway.

This year, the 2018 NL MVP who everyone was sure was going to regress has done just the opposite and started off even hotter than anyone anticipated. Christian Yelich has tied Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez with 14 HRs to begin the season. To top both of those jabronis, Yelich has also stolen 6 bases. Just to whet the appetites of Yelich owners — A-Rod went on to win the AL MVP that season while Pujols was the runner-up in his season. Yes, I know that Cody Bellinger is beating Yelich in some statistical categories already this season, but forgive me if I believe more in Yelich’s .350 AVG right now over Bellinger’s .420.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m starting a new feature for this column — Jose Ramirez Watch! The mood is tense! No one is losing more value than Ramirez right now. In a lot of leagues he was a top-10 pick and right now he isn’t even justifying a top-100 pick. It’s still early for him — but his owners have to be disappointed.

Last Week: 14 | This Week: 25

Last 7 days: 5/22, 6 runs, 1 HR, 3 RBI, 2 SB, 227 AVG

Another disappointing week for J-Ram, however, it is better than the previous week when he went 2 for 25. Baby steps? Here’s what I said to a commenter in last week’s top 100 column:

“JRam wasn’t hitting over .250 until April 24th last year.He’s got a higher hard contact rate so far this season (yay!) but also a higher soft contact rate (boo!) His BABIP is only .167 after last year’s 252. I’d obviously hold and wait until May 1. I think he’ll be fine — not 2018 foooiinnneee — but 2019 fine.”

Let’s see where his average sits later this week…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As of Friday at some point (this was originally written on Thursday but I’ve made some updates), Cody Bellinger leads all hitters in fantasy points with 54. Obviously this might vary depending on your league’s scoring system, but I have to take a stand somewhere and base my posts on some standard. For those interested, said scoring system is listed a bit further down. Bellinger exploded onto the fantasy scene in 2017, hitting 39 home runs and scoring 415 points in 548 plate appearances (0.76 PPPA) en route to the National League Rookie of the Year Award. Fast forward a year, or rewind a year depending on whether you are working from 2017 or 2019, to his 2018 season where he only scored 364 points in 632 plate appearances. (0.57 PPPA). Those are still very respectable numbers (top ten 1B and top 25 OF), but they were a far cry from what everyone that drafted him were expecting. Many tagged Bellinger with the “Sophomore Slump” curse, but the big difference was the dip in home runs. I don’t have an explanation for this other than his fly balls just weren’t getting over the outfield fence as witnessed by a decline in his HR/FB ratio which dropped from 25.2% to 15.2%.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
B_Don and Donkey are back to profiling dudes who play with balls. This week they look at two young bucks as Donkey digs in on Blue Jay’s unknown rookie Trent Thornton and B_Don puts Matt Strahm’s shaky debut under the microscope. Is Trent Thornton the real deal? Will Matt Strahm rebound? How many times can Donkey Teeth say “spin rate in a 20 second clip? Tune in and find out!
The Ditka Degenerates also talk about some week one pickups including Kolten Wong, Sandy Alcantara, Freddy Peralta, Jon Duplantier, and many more. The show is rounded out by a quick discussion on strategic differences in OPS leagues versus standard 5×5 leagues. The regular season sausage is super moist and extra steamy, taste it for yourself!

P.S. Rate and review the podcast on iTunes and be entered into a drawing to win one of these sweet puppies:
Just Tweet a screenshot of your review to @DitkaSausagePod or @DonkeyTeeth87.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There was a time when I thought Freddy Peralta (8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 11 Ks) was merely a starter.  A guy who took the ball every fifth day, stared in at the catcher, shook off a sign or two and scratched his balls.  Not like a Gaylord.  Perry, not, um, yeah, Perry.  Yesterday, we (me) gained a newfound appreciation for FP Saintdamnvelo.  His command was gorge, and I’m engorged.  In fact, I’m not typing this with my fingers.  It’s whether he can replicate that command going forward like he’s a replicate in one of those sci-fi movies with replicates.  I don’t know sci-fi, so you have to figure out your own analogy.  Sci-fi is for nerds!  That’s why I play fantasy baseball.  Either way, you have to pick up Freddy Peralta after yesterday’s start to see if he can build off it.  If Peralta continues that no-walk command, he’s a potential breakout.  Speaking of breakouts (can you believe the ease of that segue), Matthew Boyd dropped the ew, dunked 13 Ks on the Yankees and that’s straight Matth.  Like his most famous fantasy baseball owner would say, “Yeah, Boyd!”  Damn right, Flavor Flav!  Matthew Boyd (6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.18) leads the majors in Ks.  El oh cmon.  He’s the first Tigers starter to start the season with back-to-back 10+ K games.  This wasn’t the A lineup for the Yankees, but more “a Yankees lineup.”  Still, I’m buying partly because of FOMO, and since he had 26 swinging strikes, i.e., he was fooling them real good.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mike Clevinger is old school.  Not old school like really old school, but instead what we’d consider old school.  Ya know, good.  That’s one adjective for old school nowadays.  Like things were once better.  Of course, shizz was sideways with grabby hands and unhappy people during old school times too, but there’s a Gaussian blur of nostalgia that washes over people to make them think old school is good.  So, Mike Clevinger is old school like that.  He’s also old school in that he can throw a lot of pitches.  Not really old school like when Vida Blue used to throw 175 pitches by the 3rd inning, get an arm transplant then come out and throw another 100 pitches with a groundskeeper’s arm sloppily attached to his shoulder.  Nah, not real old school, but old school as we think about it in the new school.  That’s Mike Clevinger.  A youngish starter (he’s 28) who can throw 200 IP, when so many other starters are lucky to get through 150.  Yesterday, Mike Clevinger went 7 IP, 0 ER 1 hit, 3 walks, 12 Ks as he did exactly what I expected from him when I said he was a number one starter coming into this year and you said, “Grey, you’re handsome as fudge, but Clevinger is a #2.”  Nah, you’re doing a number two out yo’ mouth, Clevinger is a number one.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?