So, the preseason looks like this usually: Update a post from last year with a find and replace for “2022 fantasy baseball,” do a schluffen, and wake me up in time for Opening Day. This year: Is there going to be an Opening Day? Then, I lower my head and walk off, tears rolling down my cheek. Slowly at first, then the tears pick up steam, and now it’s Niagara out of my tear ducts. As I pass a group of snickering kids, I scream, “My contact lenses are bothering me! Respect your elders!” So, since we have a little bit more time — and hopefully only a little bit of time — let’s take a moment and look at each NL divisional team and whom they will likely trot out there as their DH. Trot Nixon? No, that horsey is on a farm upstate. Geez, that sounds like he did a well-choreographed handshake with his maker. He’s just retired. About fourteen years now. Why is this post about Trot Nixon? Hard to say! So, who are the best candidates for DH on the NL East teams, and what can we expect from them for 2022 fantasy baseball?

NATIONALS

Luis Garcia – *reads a note* We hear Matt Damon voiceover, “I went to see about a Luis Garcia.” Me, smiling to myself, “He stole my line.” Ya know who Luis Garcia reminds me of? Another Luis Garcia? No, but good guess. He reminds me of Jared Walsh. Not the same type of player at all, but he reminds me of Walsh because he was a guy I was crazy about, then I lowered him because I am a big, fat chicken. I went caca-cuckoo with myself when I first wrote the top 20 2nd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball, and ranked Luis Garcia very high, like top 150 overall high, then I lowered him to “barely in the top 500 overall.” My problem with him is, does he get the playing time? Unlike some of the joker teams below this point, if the Nationals turn in-house for their DH, it could be an actual good hitter. Well, besides Maikel Franco. Also, Luis Garcia is mentioned in this video. Subscribe to the YouTube channel.

Yadiel Hernandez – Went over him in the top 100 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball. All I’ll say in addition is the Nats could be fantasy pay-dirt if they choose one DH and stick with them. Unless it’s Maikel Franco.

Riley Adams – First off, after all that Maikel Franco slander above, and this goes for all the guys on the Nats, and players below, if a catcher is hitting well, and knee’ds a rest, then they’re going to DH. As I said in the top 20 catchers for 2022 fantasy baseball, where I went over Riley Adams, catchers are going to steal at least 50 DH at-bats on every NL team, and it will mean more number one catcher and backup catcher at-bats.

Maikel Franco – Hey, it’s Donkey Teeth’s favorite player!

PHILLIES

Matt Vierling – As I said with Riley Adams above, Realmuto might get the most DH at-bats here. Unless they sign someone. Please, for the love of the game, Phils, sign someone and don’t start Matt Vierling at DH. You’re gonna make Ron Blomberg roll over in his grave. No, he’s not dead, but he sleeps in a coffin. Don’t ask me, ask him why! So, Vierling has very little power, very little speed and very little average. Is Vierling the name for a little something? Makes you think, huh?

Johan Camargo – Honestly, I saw some of the names I’m predicting for Phillies’ DH at-bats and I wasn’t sure if I was playing a joke on myself. Johan Camargoadams is great to satisfy Wade Boggs, but not great for a major league hitter. All I’ll say here is if one of these guys gets 500+ at-bats (doubtful), they will be worth a top 500 pick, but just barely. Really says something that the NL added 15 DH slots, and there’s about 50 guys vying for them. Only one NL team has an actual DH, I’ll let you guess who that is. Hint: He’s not in today’s post.

Luke Williams – Like all the jokers currently projected as the Phils’ DH, Luke “I am your waiver wire fodder” Williams is not ranked by me. Luke looks — Luke looks? Who am I, Dr. Seuss? — like an old Drew Waters. Drew Evaporated? I go over Waters below for more.

Nick Maton – If any of the schmohawks in this Phils’ section emerges as the starting DH (doubtful), I will project and rank them. They are in order for most interesting, and that’s stretching the meaning of “interesting.”

METS

Robinson Cano – Kinda want Cano to win the batting title and hang around to get to 3,000 hits so baseball writers can bemoan letting him into the Hall of Fame, because “bemoaners” sounds like boners, which they are. Will Cano do anything remotely near a batting title? I’d laugh, but this post is too sad. Also, Cano is in my top 20 2nd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball.

J.D. Davis – You can find Johnathan Davis Davis in my top 20 3rd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball. These guys are very, very bad.

Dominic Smith – As kinda alluded to in the Maton blurb, if any of these guys emerge with an everyday DH job, they’ll be more valuable. Maybe if Spring Training happens we’re have clarification on some of these jobbers, but there’s way too many free agents still to think someone like Dom Smith is going to just get the DH job. Also, went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball.

MARLINS

Brian Anderson – Went over him in the top 20 3rd basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball.

Garrett Cooper – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball.

Jon Berti – Marlins are one of those teams where they might still want to let the pitcher hit. They have some DH at-bats going to Jesus Aguilar, Lewin Diaz, Avisail Garcia, Monte Harrison, Stallings, Isan Diaz, hey, is there anyone not getting DH at-bats in Miami? Wait, don’t forget the three guys in this post! Berti/Cooper was great as a Mad Men character, but as a DH? Not as good as advertised.

BRAVES

Marcell Ozuna – Went over him in the top 40 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball.

Drew Waters – I’m of two minds on Waters. To be clear, one mind is in my butt. Waters is either going to be a random, out-of-nowhere 15/30 steal in drafts or won’t get to Opening Day as a starter when the Braves sign someone like Eddie Rosario. You can guess which mind is in my butt–Wait, there’s another mind emerging from my other butt cheek. This one is telling me that Waters won’t even be a 15/30 if he makes it as a starter, because he’s going to hit .210.

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Wade Boggs 64
Wade Boggs 64
4 months ago

Grey – need your help please sir. Your analysis was too good last year, and now I’ve got too many SPs to keep in my 12 team dynasty (r,hr,rbi,sb,avg,obi // k,qs,era,whip,k/9,sv+hld). We can keep 12 players…

Would you keep any of Realmuto, Cronenworth, Swanson or Verdugo over any of Fried, Gausman, Castillo, Bauer or Darvish? Also throwing Eovaldi, Bassitt Hound, Luis Garcia, etc… back into the draft pool. It feels weird keeping 5 SPs going into 2022 (I also have ShoHAYYYYY, so more like 5.5) – but I’ve gotta do it, right?

Luv you.

Wade Boggs 64
Wade Boggs 64
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

I was afraid of that… he really turned it on at the end last year to schmotato his way into a solid 27 season and Yu became very unstuck without the sticky. Good problems to have… let’s get baseball back soon plz.

The Great Knoche
The Great Knoche
4 months ago

Anyone want some early auction action. I am jumping in on a $150 NFBC Online Auction on Thursday. 8:00 ET.

1 Minute picks. Let’s go.

Tweak
Tweak
4 months ago

These names feel dirty, except Yadiel Hernandez. I picked him up in a few leagues as a flier assuming he gets enough ABs as DH. He did well in short spurts last year.

Ran a for-funsies draft with Family & Friends and enjoyed my takeaways. Available in the last round were names like Villar, Lux, Torkelson, Riley Greene, B Ober, J Karinchak, A Gimenez. I went with Rutschman. Final team:

C – A Rutschman
1B – Y Gurriel
2B – M Semien
3B – Y Moncada
SS – J Chisholm Jr
OF – B Harper
OF – R Acuna
OF – T Hernandez
UT – B Lowe
UT – K Hayes

SP – T Mahle, E Rod, S Manaea, A Wainwright, C Javier
RP – L Hendricks, R Iglesias, E Clase, M Kopech, L Trivino

BN – N Lowe, L Urias, J Rod

I’m trying to ignore the idea that the infield corners have zero depth. 3B might be true, but I’m willing to take fliers on Moncada, Urias and Hayes and cobble something together. Trivino was a stab in the dark, but probably will use that spot to stream. Feels light on speed, but could always grab some of A Gimenez, N Lopez, G Hampson, O Cruz, J Duran, V Brujan for some bench speed.

Ryan741
Ryan741
4 months ago

Grey, trade opinion a in a points keeper league. We need to have our keepers set this Saturday, we get to keep 5. Trying to do a 2 for 1 deal to get Soto (12th round keep value). Would you do any of these for him: Woodruff (14th and Teoscar (8th); Yordan (13th) and Peralta (13th) or Yordan and Teoscar? Thanks!

Ryan741
Ryan741
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Grey, was now offered 4th/5th round picks for Peralta/6/12. If I do that, I can turn around and buy Witt Jr for a late round pick and keep him in the 15th since he has to be thrown back otherwise. So essential Peralta/6/12/20 for Witt/4/5/25. Pull the trigger?

NUX
NUX
4 months ago

Anyone happen to know if Ohtani is just one player for Razzslam/cut lines on NFBC? It only shows him as a Pitcher in draft room, but I see no 2nd Ohtani that’s able to be drafted.

NUX
NUX
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Key. So he’s one player, even though he shows as P only, thx G

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

He went 2nd in my draft. Bichette was my pick.

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

7

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Ya nice… I was thinking maybe The risk Acuna or “settle” for Devers lol

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

He went right after at 8.

this draft is creaming along I just took Robert in 2nd round.

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Nice combo now hopefully you pick again before your afternoon nap

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

HA
guy who took Ohtani went Perez and JT at 2/3

hot corner
hot corner
Reply to  frankgrimes
4 months ago

Saw him tweet about it

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Grey!!!

What kind of question is that? Frank told you YESTERDAY he’s picking 7th, then you replied you’re picking 12th (aka tomorrow meaning today in reference to yesterday’s message)!!!!

Cheers,
Ante

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
Reply to  Ante GALIC
4 months ago

Haha Ante you’re the best

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
Reply to  frankgrimes
4 months ago

Grimey!!!

Cheers,
Ante

Jrod
Jrod
4 months ago

Gray! Need help with a few trade offers in a dynasty league, h2h categories. Obp instead of average with walks added for hitters, so high obp guys have a greater effect on 1/3 of our hitting stats. My roster pre-draft is:

C Perez
1b
2b Polanco
3b Devers
SS Tim Anderson
CI Wander
MI O. Cruz
Of Winker
Of franmil
Of ozuna
Of
Ut

SP Giolito, Rogers, Manaea, Cease, Framber, Sonny, and L. Garcia

Trade 1: Give Giolito, Rogers, Anderson and Polanco; Get: Robert, Luis Castillo, Lux, and Gleyber

Trade 2: Give Winker; Get: Freddy KBB and a prospect.

What do you think given my team? Take Trade 1, Trade 2, both or neither?

Thanks!

Jrod
Jrod
Reply to  Jrod
4 months ago

Also, sorry for the spelling in your name. Autocorrect is a pain.

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
4 months ago

Grey!

Awesome!!

That’s a great list of crap there, man. All due respect to Yadiel. Tomorrow we go to Teide National Park, right to the top of the volcano?.

Marx Brothers quote of the day for February 22, 2022

‘(On the Dick Cavett show, 1969) I was eating oatmeal when I watched your show (it was showing at 04h AM). That’s called ‘prime time’ in California. That isn’t all they call it either.’

Cheers,
Ante

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Grey!!

Wanna see ‘nice’? Check out pick 3.4 in this mock draft on stupid fantasy pros.

For ease of reference, here’s my team.

Varsho
Olson
McMahon
Riley
Tatis
Wander
Walsh
Tucker, LouRob, Judge, O’Neill, Franmil
Lu-Gu-Ju
Bench J-Rod, Kelenic, Straw

SP Montas, Ray, Burnes, FreddyKBB, Gausman, JoMo, Cease, Kopech, Rogers
RP Sims, Clase, WSmith

My team was given a score of 74/100 by the draft analyser for last place in that league in that mock draft. Crazy, right?

Cheers,
Ante

Screenshot_20220219-191356.png
LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
4 months ago

Hoskins is going to be the phillies DH

fivepoundbass
fivepoundbass
Reply to  LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
4 months ago

That was my thought. Hoskins or Bohm, if Bohm learns how to hit again

LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

i think they put Brohm at 1st he is not a natural third baseman.

LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
Reply to  LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
4 months ago

would’nt be surprised to see DeDe gone,..pick up a SS, Segura to 3b and possible Scotty Jetpacks Kingery at 2b

LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
Reply to  LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
4 months ago

they probably need 2 OF….I think they bring in kris bryant for outfielder he is Harper’s buddy…..i heard him or schwarber and there is an older guy in tampa they want forget his name….knowing the phils they will just get two old guys

The Great Knoche
The Great Knoche
4 months ago

You forgot Dominic Brown.

LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
Reply to  The Great Knoche
4 months ago

just spit my coffe out…lol

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
Reply to  LennyDykstraIsJustMisUnderstood
4 months ago

The Great Knoche!

It’s Domonic as in The Domonator. He was to Sky what Maikel is to Donkey Teeth, that’s how I know.

Cheers,
Ante

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Grey!!!

Honestly, today we walked along a promenade for about 7 miles, starting at 09h00 ending 16h00. I was tired and maybe sunstricken from the low 80s heat but I just got the common denominator joke on the Domonator! Love you.

Cheers,
Ante

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
Reply to  Grey
4 months ago

Grey!!!

The joke, man. Don’t tell my wife. The walk was a gruelling marathon so there’s that and it was with our son and daughter. Our daughter is great but at times just a ball of her own frustration caused by her own self.

Cheers,
Ante

Chuckie Miller
Chuckie Miller
4 months ago

After Ozuna (and Garcia), the player on this list that I perk up to (might be a better way to say that) is Brian Anderson. Is that weird? Yeah, feels weird.