*insert musical note* Hello, darkness, my old friend. It’s something-something, me again. So, I don’t know the words. Are you here for musical theory or for a recap of the craziest season in recent memory if one can only remember a year or two? I thought so! Today’s jazz handsy recap is of the catchers. Please don’t ask if this is ranking for next year. It’s not a ranking for next year. It’s me recapping last season. Please, for the love that all is holy, understand this. It’s all I ask of you. Well, that and shower me with praise. The latter isn’t hard, the former is. Also, remembering which is the ‘latter’ and which is the ‘former’ is hard too. Quibbles and semantics, my good man and five lady-mans. It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:
1. J.T. Realmuto – Catchers were one of the biggest value movers this year, except for, ya know, Realmuto, who might be the first catcher to come in ranked first in the preseason and end that way since the glory days of Posey. (Glory Days of Posey sounds a lot like Ron Jeremy’s biography title.) Kinda would’ve preferred a few other catchers to Realmuto, if I’m being honest, and, eff it, let’s be honest! Realmuto is being propped up by counting stats other catchers don’t have. For fantasy value on the Player Rater, he’s actually not close to the 2nd catcher — his $21 worth of value vs. Grandal’s $13.20. Preseason Rank #1, 2019 Projections: 86/18/69/.271/5 in 512 ABs, Final Numbers: 92/25/83/.275/9 in 538 ABs
2. Yasmani Grandal – One of the more predictable catchers of recent memory even if recent recent memory reminds us of his terrible 2nd half. I wonder if he’s going over a cliff for next year or if the winter of rest will recharge his illegal-in-48-states-because-the-tobacco-industry-has-lobbyists Juul (Stay woke!). Preseason Rank #5, 2019 Projections: 62/25/70/.246/1 in 427 ABs, Final Numbers: 79/28/77/.246/5 in 513 ABs
3. Mitch Garver – I ranked him 32nd overall for catchers. He hit 31 homers in only 311 ABs! El oh *coughs furiously* WHAT THE HELL?! Besides all hitters in the major leagues having ten homers apiece, I don’t know if there’s one guy who stands out as much as Garver for benefiting from a juiced ball. Garver was such a suspicious case, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one doing the actual juicing! Preseason Rank #32, 2019 Projections: 31/9/40/.259 in 321 ABs, Final Numbers: 70/31/67/.273 in 311 ABs
4. Christian Vazquez – Did some boneheaded moves this year. One of my biggest was saying to Cougs it was a good idea to move our kitchen five inches to the left. My other boneheaded move was dropping Vazquez in a 15-team TWO-CATCHER league. What a mighty ass I am. I also dropped Tommy La Stella in that league, which sounded worse in June. Or maybe it still sounds bad because of nostalgia. Ah, yes, nostalgia, I remember you well. Any hoo! On Vazquez’s breakout, as I just alluded to, I didn’t expect it, nor recognized it when it was actually happening. I mean, I projected him for six homers! He had months where he hit that many! Preseason Rank #21, 2019 Projections: 41/6/44/.263/7 in 377 ABs, Final Numbers: 66/23/72/.276/4 in 482 ABs
5. Gary Sanchez – My preseason projection for his batting average surprises me because I didn’t realize I was so attuned to Sanchez now being a .240 or below hitter. Reminds me of the old joke. Why do they only put 239 beans in a can? Because one more would be two-farty. Take it, Highlights! It’s yours! Actually, it might be yours. Preseason Rank #2, 2019 Projections: 77/28/88/.239/2 in 503 ABs, Final Numbers: 62/34/77/.232 in 396 ABs
6. Willson Contreras – Speaking of beans, not to toot my own horn, but my preseason projections and end-of-season stats for Contreras are, like the quarter of Harrison Ford that is Jewish, not too shabby. Preseason Rank #3, 2019 Projections: 63/20/74/.271/3 in 496 ABs, Final Numbers: 57/24/64/.272/1 in 360 ABs
7. James McCann – When I look at catchers like Garver, Vazquez and McCann, for whatever reason, catchers really benefitted a lot from the juiced ball. I know, I know, a lot of hitters did, but catchers feel more pronounced. Sure, Jorge Soler was more of a 35-homer hitter who hit nearly 50 homers, but there’s catchers here who were ‘threats’ to hit under seven homers who just killed the ball. Roberto Perez was a threat to hit under 3 homers! Preseason Rank #23, 2019 Projections: 21/6/31/.231 in 264 ABs, Final Numbers: 62/18/60/.273/4 in 439 ABs
8. Omar Narvaez – Never Nervous Narvaez’s stats took a huge uptick. He hit a lot less grounders and became much more aggressive at the plate, while making nearly similar contact, which accounts for 95% of the improvement. The other 5% is pitchers scared when they see Omar comin’, yo. Preseason Rank #17, 2019 Projections: 41/14/46/.266 in 387 ABs, Final Numbers: 63/22/55/.278 in 428 ABs
9. Wilson Ramos – Hashtag nailed it on preseason ranking and projection. I’m definitely more attuned to Ramos than, say, Syndergaard. Preseason Rank #7, 2019 Projections: 54/17/71/.274 in 454 ABs, Final Numbers: 52/14/73/.288/1 in 473 ABs
10. Travis d’Arnaud – This is around the point in the end-of-season rankings where catchers fall off a cliff, looking more like past years’ values. Le Terminator had some great moments this year for fantasy, months even, but was he a guy you wanted from March until September? Not even close. He was a catcher scab you wanted to pick, then use some adhesive to reapply. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 52/16/69/.251 in 351 ABs
11. Jorge Alfaro – My projections were right on, but my ranking was off. I blame Our Commisioner Manfred and him running through a supermarket aisle like he’s on Guy’s Grocery Games but only grabbing juice. Preseason Rank #8, 2019 Projections: 51/17/61/.248/3 in 414 ABs, Final Numbers: 44/18/57/.262/4 in 431 ABs
12. Roberto Perez – I don’t think I did anything especially better this year, but catchers seemed to be more predictable. Outside of Smith, Perez and Severino, I ranked them all. That’s astonishing. Sure, some ranks are goofy they’re so far off, but there’s something to be said for all catchers being accounted for. As for Perez, haha WUT?! You never wanted to be tied to Ro-Pe before this year, now everyone wants to be like Michael Hutchence. Unranked, Final Numbers: 46/24/63/.239 in 389 ABs
13. Yadier Molina – Every year since 2016 he’s played in less games, respectively: 147, 136, 123, 113. So, if my SAT question skills are still working, Molina will only play one game in 2058 at 76 years of age. Preseason Rank #6, 2019 Projections: 61/18/70/.258/3 in 471 ABs, Final Numbers: 45/10/57/.270/6 in 419 ABs
14. Robinson Chirinos – Random Thought Alert! Chirinos would be better than twelve teams’ DHs if he didn’t have to catch, and just had everyday at-bats. Preseason Rank #18, 2019 Projections: 44/20/68/.213/1 in 384 ABs, Final Numbers: 57/17/58/.238/1 in 366 ABs
15. Kurt Suzuki – If you were to own only Nats catchers, i.e., losing Suzuki and adding Yan Gomes in September, you’d have a top ten catcher, and the fantastic portmanteau, Yurt Somes. Preseason Rank #30, 2019 Projections: 32/9/38/.262 in 267 ABs, Final Numbers: 37/17/63/.264 in 280 ABs
16. Carson Kelly – One of the bigger disappointments this year in the catchers’ ranks. My two-catcher pairing of Alfaro/Kelly for Carsonaro Ally was fine in deeper leagues where I rolled it out, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t expect more. Preseason Rank #10, 2019 Projections: 52/14/59/.249 in 487 ABs, Final Numbers: 46/18/47/.245 in 314 ABs
17. Josh Phegley – He’s stepped right in for Vogt in a long line of A’s catchers whose last names make you say, “What the hell is that? Something stuck in your throat?” Preseason Rank #23, 2019 Projections: 42/13/44/.233/1 in 411 ABs, Final Numbers: 44/12/62/.239 in 314 ABs
18. Tom Murphy – My preseason rank and projections are lying a bit, because I crossed Murphy out in the preseason when the Rockteases released him. Preseason Rank #36, 2019 Projections: 21/9/32/.248/2 in 212 ABs, Final Numbers: 32/18/40/.273/2 in 260 ABs
19. Pedro Severino – To think, if you drafted one Severino this year. You were better off with this one. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 37/13/44/.249/3 in 305 ABs
20. Will Smith – And he chipped in 34 saves! Wait, that’s not right. One big thing that I haven’t mentioned until now and applies to Hancock, catchers’ at-bats were way down, and they still did damage. Kurt Suzuki with a full-season of at-bats is a 34-homer guy? Seriously, dubya tee eff. Jada Pinkett’s husband is a 45-homer guy with 120 RBIs! Someone’s about to get Ribbie wit’ it in 2020! Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 30/15/42/.253/2 in 170 ABs
