Please see our player page for Austin Barnes to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

It’s not easy writing a post about a hitter that went bingo-bango on your pitcher three times. Why the hell was Trevor Bauer in the game for 119 pitches?  Did Bauer invite Tito Francona to his house for one of his baseball player meet-and-greets and serve him coconut water? Cause if he did that, then hell hath no fury like someone served coconut water.  “Is this sweet…perspiration?”  That’s me drinking coconut water.  Trevor Bauer (8 IP, 5 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.93) has the Twitter handle BauerOutage and, gotta be honest, it’s meaning something that he’s not intending this season.  It’s like 1977 in New York City power outage and Son of Sam is talking to his dog about what a mess my fantasy pitching is, due to Bauer.  Any hoo!  Max Kepler went to-the-window-to-the-wall three times yesterday (4-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .266) with his 13th, 14th, and 15th homer, and is doing what I always dreamt of, only I was dreaming about it in 2017. See, I’m accurate about everything, except years.  Right now, on our Player Rater, Kepler is around the 25th best outfielder.  However, before his home run yesterday, he was hitless for close to a week, so it shows you his hot and cold natural.  Right now, it’s Max Power:

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Have you not heard yet? The hottest goss (I promise no Avengers spoilers) is that the Los Angeles Angels will call up top prospect slash future OC-heartthrob Griffin Canning to start against the Toronto Blue Jays on Tuesday. What a Friday for the rooks! We got Vlad, Kieboom, and Rengifo all in one night, and now Griffin Canning. It’s almost like a symbolic passing of the torch with all these young guys arriving this week. New replacing old, etc. And no, that was not an Endgame spoiler. Leave me alone, nerds! I haven’t even seen it yet you bought all the tickets! Normally, I’d save the prospect posts for Mike or Grey, but I don’t want you dear readers and even dearer web crawling robots missing out on another sexy call up this weekend. So let’s talk about Griffin Canning. Sounds like a very dangerous game or the new coolest extreme sport they might play at Hogwarts. Griffin’s got a 0.56 ERA, 0.94 WHIP and 17/2 K/BB ratio through his first three starts at AAA Salt Lake Bees (bzzz), which to be fair, looks a whole lot better than anything the Angels starters have been doing over the past four weeks. Canning features four solid pitches including his mid-90s fastball and a real nasty curve. His past struggles have all been related to his command but he’s thrown 66% of his pitches for strikes so far this year and the 3.3 BB% indicates he may have figured things out. Griffin doesn’t necessarily profile as an top end ace, but he could be a solid back of the rotation starter and help your fantasy team immediately. Rookie pitchers may be my kryptonite (not a spoiler), but what are you waiting for? The prospect sweepstakes has begun and Griffin Canning is worth a flier in all leagues. The Angels think he’s got the stuff to help them win right now and methinks he could do the same for you.

Here’s what else I saw Friday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ll be focusing mostly on the Main slate today, which is a 7:05 PM ET lock, but I’ll be sure to sprinkle in an afternoon play here and there for those of you who like that sort of thing.  Both slates feature a tidy six games. The Main slate also features everyone’s favorite, Coors field! When trying to squeeze in those Coors bats with their inflated prices, we’ll need to find some cheap pitching and the occasional cheap hitter.  A cheap pitcher I’ll be targeting tonight is Kyle Wright ($6,100).  Wright had a fantastic spring and won the starting gig over preseason favorite for the spot, Touki Toussaint.  That’s nothing to shake a stick at but Wright stumbled out of the gate. I’ll chalk that “meh” first start up to nerves and starting your first career game in the hostile city of Philadelphia.  Five walks in four innings is pretty rough but that’s more walks than he had his entire spring training. Tonight we’re out of the band box in Philly and into home field advantage against a much weaker opponent in the Marlins.  I mean, just look at that lineup…bleh. I like Wright and hope I’m not wrong tonight!

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s the second week of baseball season, which symbols the annual potential for snow baseball, interleague play, and pulled latissimus dorsi! The MLB continues to amaze everyone by scheduling our utmost northern cities for home games during the first week of April. How is Boston the only club traveling on a west coast or southern swing? It must be attributed to Dave Dombrowski attending the Ivy League of the Midwest, Western Michigan. At least the baseball brass can breathe easy now that the AAF is canceled and all those viewers will come back to watching baseball, unless you live in Los Angeles and all your games are blacked out. Baseball is back friends!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season?  My first wish is “No one I own get hurt.”  I didn’t buy Kevin Kiermaier, Steven Souza or Troy Tulowitzki, so I made your job easy for you, great, powerful Genie.  My 2nd wish is “Everyone I own do well.”  I drafted Trea Turner, Luke Voit, Enrique Hernandez, so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish too.  My 3rd and final wish is “All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing The OA interpretative dance.”  Thanking you in advance, Genie.  Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint.  Damn you!  So, we’re off and running for another great season, just like the Dodgers’ offense.  Enrique Hernandez (2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit two home runs.  Ya know what, maybe Kiké does love me.  Next up, Joc Pederson (3-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) hit two homers, as he hit leadoff.  A double dong day from Wong and Joc?  Baseball, do you stuff your pants?  Also, Max Muncy (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his first homer, saying, “Hey, don’t forget Grey wrote a sleeper post about me?”  Then Cody Bellinger (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 1st homer; he’s not Cody Malinger!  Actually, I’m convinced Dave Roberts could field any lineup and they would score more runs than their opponent for at least 90+ games, especially when they’re going up against some of these teams.  Wilmer Flores (1-for-4, 1 run) was the three hole hitter on the Diamondbacks.  I love Wilmer and his ubiquitous tears like he’s reading The Notebook, but there’s a bunch of MLB lineups out there that just are not good.  Also, in this game, Corey Seager (1-for-3) hit his 1st homer and Austin Barnes (3-for-4, 2 runs) hit his first homer, because BASEBALL’S BACK!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave.  A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’  A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.”  Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft.  This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds.  Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you.  I don’t need to ice my clicky finger.  It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting.  It does allow you to second-guess your picks.  Actually, more like triple-guess.  (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers.  Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One super quick word about the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball and all the 2019 fantasy baseball rankings, each ranking appears insanely long and it is, but I imagine in a lot of leagues guys won’t have eligibility, because I’m using the extremely lax Yahoo position eligibility.  Without further ado because this post is longer than the combined length of the Gutenberg Bible and Steve Guttenberg’s IMDB page, I mention where tiers start and stop and all projections are mine and cannot be reproduced without the express written consent of Major League–Damn, I’m being told by Major League Baseball I did not have express written consent to use their warning.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello, darkness, my old friend.  But replace ‘darkness’ with ‘catchers’ and ‘my old friend’ with ‘we have to get through this to get further into our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings.’  Hmm…Then replace ‘our 2019 fantasy baseball rankings’ with ‘my 2019 fantasy baseball rankings,’ then replace ‘with’ with ‘wit’ to millennialify it, then replace every third ‘replace’ with ‘in place of’ to diversify word choice because my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Pinatauro, said we shouldn’t repeat words–Actually, she can eat it!  After going over the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2019 fantasy baseball (clickbait!), we are now in the positional rankings, and all 2019 fantasy baseball rankings can be found there.  Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  The projections noted in the post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop.  I also mention a bunch of hullabaloo, so let’s get to it.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“That guy does not look familiar.”  “Which guy?”  “That guy on the mound.”  “The Wade Miley fella?”  “Yeah.”  “Did he used to serve us coffee at The Blue Danube?”  “I don’t think so.  That guy’s name was Ronnie.  And he had dreads.”  “But he was white.”  “Yeah, Ronnie was a white guy with dreads.  He looked like he had a smelly undercarriage.”  “I don’t disagree.  So… This guy… This Wade Miley guy… He just looks so unfamiliar.  He just threw a 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks start against the Cubs with a 2.12 ERA.  Do you know him?”  “No, but ever since we were talking about a white guy with dreads I’ve wanted to sing Informer by Snow.” Wade Miley as an ace and Bumble profiles that read, “5′ 7″, 120 lbs., fitness model who loves cooking and cleaning and sex” are often very similar.  Expectations and reality don’t always run hand in hand.  Before picking up Miley, do me one favor.  Ask Edwin Jackson owners how the experience was owning him.  Though since they’re probably your competition they may lie to you.  Those bastards!  Maybe you can ask Jackson yourself since he’s probably on waivers.  Can Miley be lights out?  I suppose, there’s not much time left, but there’s nothing jumping out that says he’s suddenly a Cy Young contender.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Carlos Carrasco went 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.95.  Whew.  Luckily, Carrasco was in that tier of preseason pitchers I said not to draft.  You still drafted him?  But I said he was like a skunked can of La Croix bacon-avocado cheeseburger flavor.  *scrunches nose*  You didn’t pay attention?  Aw geez.  Why?  Not to answer but to lower your head in shame.  Since you didn’t pay attention the first time, let me say it once more so you can again ignore it, “For the first time in his career, Carrasco (Careerasco?) threw 200 IP last year.  Not bad for a 25-year-old.  Less so for Carrasco who is 31 years old.  I know, I was surprised he was that old too.  Not as surprised, as say, a cat jumping out of a closet.  They should do a Cats revival on Broadway where the whole thing is cats jumping out of closets.”  And that’s me quoting me!  K/9 and velocity stabilizes fairly quickly and, well, his rates are kinda the dog’s breakfast.  His velocity is down over a mile, and his Ks are down from 10.2 to a 8.1 K/9, and he has the highest xFIP in six years.  If this doesn’t worry you, you might be slow on the uptake.  You repeat 3rd grade?  Do you think your password on all logins is *************?  Do you eat Thai and say, ‘Now my stomach is in knots?’  We might have to get you a tutor.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?