Please see our player page for David Fletcher to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

You know that expression, “If you’re alive long enough, you will see a time when Samoans are skinny, petite men who request silver dollar-sized coconuts to cover their nipples.”  You don’t know it?  That’s because I just made it up!  You’ve been TRICK’D!  It’s my spinoff of Punk’d with your host The Amazing Johnathan.  The expression’s sentiments I just made up are accurate, however (as far as I’m concerned, and, sadly, this isn’t a democracy, and I’m the one that matters).  The expression’s root is from the actual expression, “If you live long enough, you’ll experience everything.”  This feels especially apt today because we’ve gone from wanting to own Miguel Sano, to cursing Miguel Sano, back to wanting to own him again.  What’s next?  A skinny Miguel Sano requesting smaller coconuts to cover his nipples!  Okay, maybe not immediately, but if we live long enough!  I don’t have any great hopes for Miguel Sano, but he’s owned in 30% of leagues and that seems low for even him.  There’s not a ton of guys who can hit 15 homers from now until the end of the season; Sano’s on that list.  Will it happen?  I don’t know, maybe if we live long enough.  Circular logic is your friend because it too can cover your nipples.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Unfortunately we all put a lot of hope that the 21 year old Rafael Devers would live up to his massive potential this season, but he’s been oft-injured and oft-not hitting. Stash or Trash: Stash. Unless you’re in a 10 team league — if you have a better option available — then jump on him. Fill In: David Fletcher (3.4%.) With Ian Kinsler traded to the Red Sox, Fletcher could be due for a big boost in playing time. In 254 AAA ABs was hitting — wait, this can’t be right — .350?! Fletcher also hit 6 HRs so he has some power potential and stole 20 bases last season so he can even steal a few bags. He only has 1 of each in 114 ABs so far, but the .298 is pretty on par for him and the added at bats should result in more power and stolen base opportunities. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jays traded Roberto Osuna to the Astros for Ken Giles.  Basically, they traded headaches.  If the Jays and Astros wanted to do what was best for baseball, they would have Giles and Osuna step into a steel cage, right at the Canadian border, and whoever was able to get out, that would be who would continue on.  It can have lots of little Canadian touches too, like a maple syrup hazard and scaffolding designed by Bret Hart.  “Giles looks like he’s going to escape–Ooh, a Mountie greets him with poutine in the eye.  Would’ve thought he’d look out for that, but it never o’CURD’d to him.”  “Mean” Gene Okerlund with the pun!  I like this trade for both teams.  Your piece of shizz for my piece of shizz.  All trades should be this clearcut.  As for fantasy, Roberto Osuna should take over in Houston when he returns next week, but Hector Rondon had been pitching well (until his last outing).  Might not be Osuna immediately, but I’d imagine he gets in the 9th by his third appearance.  Pretty much same deal with Ken Giles.  Though, there’s a lot more emphasis on Ken with Giles.  Ken he?  I don’t know, but the Jays also have less desirable options, so I could see Giles getting saves even quicker than Osuna.  In most leagues, I’d grab both.  Or whichever makes it out of the steel cage.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every time Max Muncy hits a home run, a little piece of me dies. Okay, perhaps I’m being a bit melodramatic, but that’s exactly how I feel these days. It would be bad enough if I’d just read about Muncy and not taken a fantasy flier on him, but given that I was one of the folks actually suggesting him as a pick-up — because his past numbers were better than I thought they’d be after I looked them up, because Dave Roberts was finding a way to keep Muncy in the lineup even as the players he’d been replacing were returning from their injuries, because he just looked like he knew what he was doing at the plate — and STILL not wrapping my head around the notion that he’d be a productive player as the season progressed… well, that just makes a girl feel silly. And a bit sad.

In the deep league world, guys like Muncy can be insane difference-makers. I have a couple NL-only leagues where I’m hovering around 4th place, trying to scratch and claw my way to a money finish. If I had picked up Muncy in those leagues, he singlehandedly would have provided stats that would likely have me in 2nd place, where a strong last couple of months could put me over the top and give me a good shot at winning my league.

I’ll regret Muncy all season – and perhaps beyond in my keeper leagues – but nothing I can do about it now. Time to get back to my Muncy-less NL-only reality, scouring the waiver wire for anyone that might provide a boost between now and the end of September.  And speaking of the waiver wire, time to get down to business and take a look at some names who might be available for those looking for help in the deep-league world.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I wanna geek out for a second.  You with me?  Orf course you are, because I say “Orf course” and you’re still reading!  Entering yesterday’s game Anthony Rendon (3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer, hitting .285) was 19th overall for 3rd basemen on the Player Rater, in a virtual tie with Miguel Andujar and Ryon Healy and right behind Derek Dietrich.  Hey, over-the-internet friend, that’s awful.  Third basemen are not exactly stacked like hamburgers at IHOB either.  There’s seven top tier ones ($17+).  For context, there’s ten elite shortstops.  There’s 16 shortstops at $11+, and only eleven 3rd basemen.  I don’t think you heard me, Derek Dietrich has been more valuable than Rendon so far this year, or sofa if you’re reading in a furniture store.  Rendon already spent the 1st half taking the craps out, so, yo, I think he can roll up to 7 at the position by season’s end.  The route he’s taken has definitely been the hard way.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Lower the koozie a little bit.  No, a little bit more.  Okay, now spray some mist on the outside of the can to make it look like it’s sweating.  Now rub your finger from the D in Dr. to the R in Pepper.  This is romance!  For me!”  That’s me explaining to Cougs how I want her to seduce me with a visual metaphor of Juan Soto.  Or as I like to call him, Sexy Dr. Pepper.  Last night he hit two more homers (2-for-3, 4 RBIs) and now has five homers on the year, hitting .344 since his call-up and he’s only 19 years old.  *puts handkerchief to head, faints*  He was the first 19-year-old to homer at a Yankee Stadium since Ken Griffey Jr. in 1989.  He is the fifth youngest major leaguer with a two-homer game (Mel Ott, Danny Murphy (not that one), Griffey, Andruw Jones).  He is the third youngest major leaguer to show up at Yankee Stadium and say, “A concession guy offered his wife to me for sex.” (Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich)  Not to put the hype too much to eleven, but he is blowing away what Bryce and Trout did when they were both 19 years old.  19-year-olds who hit a home run in the last 40 years:  Soto, Bryce, Trout, Justin Upton, Andruw, Griffey and Juan Gonzalez.  Betting on a 19-year-old to fail who is already up in the majors succeeding is betting the Don’t Pass line, and no one likes that guy.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson.   Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children?  Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children.  Not really (yes, really).  Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?!  *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down*  I’m okay!  *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher*  I can’t see!  *screaming at intern*  Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again.  I’m still seeing blood though.  Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13.  The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him.  That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In what figures to be the shortest minor league system review of the offseason, today we tackle the Angels system. It’s not so much that the Halos have no prospects as it’s the Angels have bad prospects. It’s almost as if they used every ounce of player development ability to churn out the greatest player of a generation, and then followed it up with nothing. Well maybe nothing is unfair, but it’s been almost half a decade since the likes of Trout, Kole Calhoun, and Garrett Richards broke through to the bigs. The addiction to bad free agent contacts has left a once proud organization decimated. The money spent on Josh Hamilton, CJ Wilson, and Albert Pujols hasn’t paid off the way they expected, and the years of lost draft picks has left the system bare. For the first time in a few years the Angels have a handful of interesting prospects, and the organization seems more focused on player development under former Yankees executive Billy Eppler. There’s only a handful of interesting players to discuss here, and a couple who could develop into impact fantasy bats. It’s the Top Los Angeles Angels Prospects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This system is what’s known as a three-bagger. You’ll need one brown paper bag for its head, one brown paper bag for your head, and a third brown paper bag handy in case one of the two paper bags currently in use happens to rip. Sean Newcomb was a lefty arm that would have easily topped this list if he hadn’t been traded to the Braves. Sad trombone. The Angels had a first round pick in 2015 (26th overall) but used it on Taylor Ward, a glove-first catcher with pretty limited fantasy value. All in all, you’re going to have a tough go finding prospects worth your time in shallower formats. Some of the players listed might not even be worth your time in really deep ones. And yet together, hand in hand, we march on…

Please, blog, may I have some more?