Joey Gallo

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Donkey Teeth

2 Early Mock Recap: Drafting Like a Donkey

November 1, 2019 | 2020 Fantasy Baseball | 36 Comments

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Back in high school I remember there was a kid in my class who sported an iron-on patch on his backpack. The patch read, “Pornography Rapes the Mind.” I’m guessing that kid wouldn’t approve of my last production: Donkey Does Dallas. Anyway, I’m not here to analyze the porn industry and its effects on the mind—Grey will be covering that extensively in his Giancarlo Sleeper Post next week. Instead I’m here to discuss how mock drafts rape the mind. We join these mocks, select all our favorite players and rosterbate the night away. Then our real draft comes around and every player we want is taken two rounds earlier than in the mock; we’re left grasping our limp lineup wondering what in the name of Jesús Luzardo happened.

What I’m saying is, don’t take these mock results too seriously. For me, the real value in mock drafting is in gaining greater familiarity with the player pool and contemplating roster construction. Regardless, it’s still entertaining to take a look at the results and consider which players may or may not come at a value next year. Below you’ll find the first four rounds of my 2 Early Mock which took place across a two week period from early to mid-September. Find the full ADP data from all six 2 Early Mocks here, generously provided by Smada of Prospects Live and Friends with Fantasy Benefits.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Stanton Stans Stand And Gianclap

September 19, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 202 Comments

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What do we say to the devil? Not today, devil. But they say, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.” And devil’s in the details.  So, for the last five months, Giancarlo Stanton (1-for-3) was the devil I didn’t know any details about, but yesterday we said, “Today, devil,” so where does that leave us? In hell still, as the Yankees said they will baby Stanton, sending him out for only a few at-bats. Yo, are you Arthriticarlo Stanton? Should’ve never held him all year, but his thighs are so beautiful and well-lotioned in bed! Sorry, was reading a well-tailored-to-me fortune cookie. I suppose if Stanton’s out there, you can add him, and play him, but a few at-bats here and there doesn’t exactly instill confidence. Hopefully, by the time 2020 rolls around, Giancarlo will be less Arthriticarlo and more the Giancarlo I’ve pasted to my pillow. And that’s not Elmer’s Glue. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

McNeil’s Arms Strong

September 12, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 219 Comments

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Yesterday, Jeff McNeil went 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs with a double slam (19, 20) and legs (5), hitting .326. It’s legitimately surprising when I see any player who has more than 400 ABs with less than 20 homers, so I’m glad McNeil stopped confounding me. Usually don’t do this before the end of the season recaps, but sneaked a peek at my preseason blurb for McNeil, and I will share it right after this awkward sentence, “Truth bomb alert!  I almost wrote a McNeil sleeper post, but A) Mets B) Mets C) There’s no C. D) The Mets are saying he might not have a set position and be more of a floater, and, ever since Meatballs, there’s never been a good use of a floater. E) Mets F) Mets G) I wasn’t as blown away by his projections that I came up with as I thought I would be.  H) That’s about it.  I) Whoa, there’s a HI in the middle of the alphabet?  Who’s trying to say hello?!” And that’s me quoting me! I projected him for 17 HRs and 8 SBs. Those numbers aren’t far off, but you know where I was way off? Yup and yup, his average. I projected him to hit .269, so what changed? He hits everything well. He is in the bottom seven in the league for soft contact — Just Dong, Bryce, Mookie, Bryce — are a few of the names there. He also leads the league in Swing% (59.5), but he doesn’t strikeout a lot. Translation:  He swings a lot and makes good contact. It’s a recipe that’s worked for Castellanos, Javy Baez and Devers, to name a few. The fear for 2020 is McNeil becomes Castellanos on the Tigers, and not the She-cah-go Greek God of Hard Contact. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kerry Klug

Top 100 Hitters, Week 20: I Li, Yuli, He/She/It/They Li

August 19, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Top 100 Hitters | 16 Comments

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It’s rare to see a player having a breakout year in his age 35 season in the post-Selig era, but Yuli Gurriel needs just 2 runs, 1 RBI and even 2 SB to set career highs in all of those categories. He already has a career-high in HRs with 25 and could end the season with 30-35. With 37 games remaining Gurriel could end the season with an 85/33/100/8/.300 line for the year. Not too shabby from a guy with an ADP in the 200s. This production uptick is due to a career-low ground ball rate, career-high fly ball rate, career-high hard contact rate — the underlying numbers are pointing to this being for real and he should finish the year strong.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kerry Klug

Top 100 Hitters, Week 18: Cruz is the Zodiac Thriller

August 6, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Top 100 Hitters | 8 Comments

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Who else got victimized by Nelson Cruz last week? In his last 75 ABs here’s his line: 19/14/26/0/.333. That’s more than some guys had in the entire first-half. Oh wait — that’s almost more than the 16 Cruz put up the first half. The Twins are going to be battling for the AL Central with the Indians until the bitter end and clutch Cruz should keep them afloat the rest of the way.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Whoa Nelly

July 26, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 174 Comments

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Rob Manfred presses the button on a contraption that looks like a skinny hose, and juices spurt out. Rob looks up to the store clerk, “So, I just push this end of the hose inside the baseballs and juice comes out and balls go zoom?”  “Zoom, baby, zoom.”  “I’ll take 300 of them.”  “You only want 300 homers?”  “You’re right, I’ll take 45,000.”  “Will do, Kemosabe. Hey, wanna see where I store the white pine tar that pitchers can use undetected?”  “No, that’s illegal!”  So, what’s this, three days in a row with a hitter hitting three homers in a game? Shizz is bizzonkers. Every year I say the same for Nelson Cruz (3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 23rd, 24th and 25th homer) and Edwin Encarnacion. They will hit home runs until they’re 50. That’s if they’re not already 50, then make it 70.  When reached for comment after the game, Cruz said, “I could’ve hit four homers, but then you find out why Mark Whiten was called ‘Hard Hittin.'” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

There Is Only One H In Shane Bieber

July 25, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 393 Comments

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Yesterday, Shane Bieber went 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.44. Donkey Teeth and I made a trade the other day. My first trade of the year. I sent him Kenley Jansen for Shane Bieber. I discuss it on this week’s podcast. I receive Shane Bieber in this trade…TOMORROW! I don’t even want him now! He’s tainted with Donkey Teeth juice. That one-hitter is supposed to be mine! Mine, I say! Only thing worse would’ve been he threw a one-hitter and broke his hand high-fiving Bauer. Ugh, why couldn’t Donkey Teeth offer the trade the day before so I had Bieber on my team? I want him. Me! Me! Me! *Idris Elba opens an envelope* “…and Best Dramatic Retelling of a Fantasy Baseball Trade goes to…Some guy in his mom’s basement you never heard of.” Damn, I lost that too!  Donkey Teeth offered me Rhys Hoskins, Madison Bumgarner or Bieber and I jumped at the lattest (totally a word), because Bieber’s peripherals are gorge — 11.2 K/9, 2 BB/9, 3.19 xFIP. Bieber was a preseason sleeper of mine, and he is essentially a top ten pitcher. So, put that in your natch and natch it!  Too bad I own him in one less league as of yesterday.  Me!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kerry Klug

Top 100 Hitters, Week 16: DJ Got Me Falling In Love Again

July 22, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Top 100 Hitters | 21 Comments

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Who would’ve thought little D.J. LeMahieu would be the best free agent signing of the past decade? Yeah, I said it! Mainly because I have an awful memory and suffer from extreme recency bias! He’s definitely the best signing of this preseason though. He’s 3 HRs away from setting a new career-high, already has a new career-high in RBI and is again leading his league in batting average as he did with the Rockies in 2016. His disappointing, injury-plagued 2018 caused his stock to dip a bit, but Brian Cashman is looking like a genius again for this signing. And oh yea, not that it matters to us, but he’s playing Gold Glove defense again at both 2B and 3B. Does defense matter to you? Do you use any defensive stats in any of your leagues?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Dodgers And Phils Trade (Bullpen) Blows

July 17, 2019 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 409 Comments

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MLB should put pinball flippers by each dugout, then every time you think someone is about to have a 1-2-3 inning, the ball is flipped out of the stadium for a home run.  “Looks like the ump is tossing that ball in the dirt to the ball boy–BANG! WHIZZ! BOOM! Wow, another home run, Roger!  This is crazy!”  “Just when you think you’ve seen everything to further enhance the game by adding offense, MLB has put in pinball flippers.”  “It’s pretty cool, Roger.”  “My name’s Bill.”  “Sure.”  So, yesterday the Dodgers and Phils traded blows and blown saves — Kenley Jansen (1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.72) and Hector Neris (1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.08). Both closers are safe as far as any pitcher is safe.  THEY’RE USING PINBALLS!  However, Jansen was limping, due to taking a comebacker off his ankle, so Pedro Baez might see some looks. The hero, or gyro depending on ethnicity, was Bryce Harper (2-for-3, 5 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .257).  On our Player Rater, he’s been about as valuable as Shin-Soo Choo and Max Kepler. Yup.  Then, yinging his yang, Max Muncy went 1-for-3, 2 runs with his 25th homer. Most home runs since April 17th of last year when Muncy debuted:  Yelich 67 HRs; Trout 63 HRs; Muncy 60 HRs. And people didn’t want to draft Muncy this preseason.  Yup…YUP!  Of course, no highlight reel in prose would be complete without Cody Bellinger (1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 34th homer).  Forget Bellinger, he’s the Bellingest. Yup…YUP…yup.  Also, getting in on the action, Scott Kingery went 2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs with his 13th homer, and his 2nd homer in two games. His average did drop about 100 points in the last three weeks, but he’s starting to pick it up again, and is still hitting towards the top of the lineup (2nd yesterday). Yup…YUP…yup…YuP.  Then yanging that yin, A.J. Pollock went 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 5th homer, and 12th homer in the last three games. If it wasn’t for Oscar Mercado, I’d say Pollock was the hottest bat in the majors.  I might say it anyway, but while crossing my fingers.  Right Brain, “LIAR!”  Yup…YUP…yup…YuP…yeppers.  Finally, Matt Beatty hit his 3rd homer.  Snap into a Batt Meatty!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Coolwhip

Deep Impact: Joey Gallo, Roman God Of Hard Contact

July 13, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 15 Comments

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After the Romans conquered the Greeks, they adopted their mythology to tie them to the past. They wanted a foundational belief in purpose, but one far more practical to their view of the world… The first generation of Moneyball taught us that OBP was equally important as AVG, embodied by Kevin Youkilis, the Greek God of Walks (and Scott Hatteberg). He had plate discipline for days and was not afraid to take a ball, even in the shoulder, that led to a career OBP of .382, yadda yadda, we all know the story. Enter 2019, and the age of Exit Velocity, Launch Angle, and Hard Contact. OBP is still praised, but on top of getting on base, the goal now is maximizing quality contact and focusing on bat path to avoid wasting those OBP runners on base — this, the new the prevailing philosophy in baseball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?