Please see our player page for Tim Beckham to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

After going over the top 20 shortstops for 2019 fantasy baseball, I needed a cigarette.  A good after-sex cigarette, not a waiting-to-go-into-court-to-hear-if-you-have-to-spend-18-months-in-jail cigarette.  Subtle, but important differences.  We also hit up the top 20 catchers for 2019 fantasy baseball, the top 20 1st basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball and the top 20 2nd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball.  In no way was that clickbait.  Okay, onto the hot corner.  Here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  All projections listed are mine and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Good times, dyn-o-mite!  Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is it possible I will have drafted a shortstop in the 1st round, a shortstop in the 2nd round for my MI spot and a shortstop in the 3rd round for my utility spot?  Prolly not, but I don’t want to rule out anything with how great the shortstops look.  During last preseason, Rudy told me I was too high on multiple shortstops.  He never apologized, but that’s okay, I forgive him.  As Napoleon said, “I forgive you for only putting two layers in my whipped cream dessert, but if you meant it as a dig on my height, I will never forget.”  So, here’s Steamer’s 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2019 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers.  All my 2019 fantasy baseball rankings are under that thingie-ma-whosie, and I mention where all tiers start and stop, and all shortstop projections are mine.  Let’s get to it!  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2019 fantasy baseball:

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I was waiting for Manny Machado or Bryce Harper to sign before dropping the last bit of offseason signings before the rankings that start on Monday, but apparently the Phillies only have $300 million for each, and they want $325-plus respectively, so we need to go forward with the news without Machado and Bryce.  The last bit of big news was Yusei Kikuchi signing with the Mariners.  He reminds me of every other Japanese pitcher, but not in a raycess way.  He reminds me of Miles Mikolas too, who was only Asian after being reborn.  It’s something about Asian pitchers, and non-Asian pitchers who go to Asia and return; they exercise some serious control.  Maybe it’s the culture.  I had a robot watch Gung Ho 15,000 times to tell me what it thinks and now the robot is speaking super-racist.  Yo, robot, why are you so culturally inappropriate?  “I have no culture of my own, so I adopt yours.  And I kill puppies.”  AHHH!!!  ROBOT MURDERER!!!  RUN!!!  Or roll your swivel chair towards a door if running is too much for you.  Kikuchi, which is going to be fun for me to say this year, comes with a lot less fanfare than Ohtani, but I do think he can be better than him, pitching-wise, in his first full season.  Ohtani is a unicorn in Babe Ruth’s body, we all know this.  Kikuchi reminds me of Mikolas and Ryu and others in that mold.  He’s a decent strikeout guy, but won’t blow people away, while also having impeccable command.  I’m definitely looking to draft him this year, then passing him up every other year when he fails to throw 130 IP in consecutive seasons because the Japanese also completely overwork their starters.  In fact (Grey’s got more!), the Mariners have already said Kikuchi will only throw an inning or so every fifth or sixth start to try to preemptively avoid the inevitable arm injury that befalls every Japanese starter.  For 2019, I’ll give Kikuchi projections of 9-7/3.67/1.18/136 in 151 IP.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2019 fantasy baseball:

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Sample sizes are everything, or so I’ve heard.  From other people.  Not about me.  I’m personally told sample sizes mean nothing.  Gently reminded, as I’m also reminded, it happens to everyone.  What is ‘it?’  Damn, that’s deep, which is not what I hear often when discussing sample sizes, but Tim Beckham (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) went deep twice yesterday (11th and 12th homer).  I’m talking about sample sizes more than a bachelorette party because Beckham had done nothing up until yesterday’s game.  At this point in the season, it’s not what has a guy done this month or past week, but what did he do yesterday and what can he do today?  Two homers tell me a guy is locked in.  *Beckham mimes being in a box* Perfect!  I’d grab him, sample size be damned.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Yesterday’s Nationals/Phils game tested my ulcer and said, “Mmm, acidic.” Starting off the calamity, Pat Neshek went 1/3 IP, 2 ER, and the blown save, ERA at 2.08.  Okay, if you’re a closer, you have to get the job done, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — why the eff can’t Kapler let him start an inning in a one-run game?  He let Tommy Hunter walk the lead-off man, then Neshek came in to allow a blast to Anthony Rendon (3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer).  Up next in the closerousel is…Hector Neris!  Kapler’s already ruined him once, so that gives you an idea of how long it takes for the Phillies’ closerousel to spin, about four months.  Then, Justin Miller came on to close the game for the Nationals.  But oh no, we will nearly blow!  Miller went 1/3 IP, 1 ER and was promptly pulled for…wait for it…oh, this is good…Greg Holland!  Who entered the game with a 6.09 ERA and has been so bad, he got chased out of St. Louie.  Yo, are Davey Martinez and Gabe Kapler running a lemonade stand?  Because I’m getting a real sour face.  In Washington, it’s likely Koda Glover or Ryan Madson’s turn next, but Holland’s got two lips, so he’s as good as anyone.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Alex Trebek, “The $500 clue is, ‘Now.'”  “The time I pooped my pants on national TV.”  “Sorry, that’s not correct.  Susan?”  “What is now?  Like now?   Now now?  What kinda answer is now?”  “Sorry, we can only accept your first question, ‘What is now?’ and that is incorrect.  Grey, you buzzed in last because you were on your phone picking up a streamer for tomorrow.  The answer is, ‘Now,’ your question is…”  “What is the time to pick up Eloy Jimenez?”  “That is correct.  You control the board.”  “Okay, I’ll take ‘Uber/Lyft for $500.”  “Your neighbor uses this World War II pun when describing them.”  “What is Taxis of Evil?”  “Right again!”  Any hoo!  As Alex Trebek illustrated in the most roundabout way, now is the time to pick up Eloy Jimenez if you have room.  He is absolutely tearing the cover off the ball in Triple-A like he’s putting the finishing touches on his Roy Hobbs Halloween costume — 11 HRs, .345 in 37 games.  I mean, over-the-internet friend, he’s 21 and doing that?  He’s going to be special.  Only question now that ends in a period is will the White Sox call him up when rosters expand in September.  My guess is they do and he starts the year with the club next April.  He’s going to be a star with little Jeopardy.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Rick Porcello said of his catcher, Sandy Leon, “He’s the best catcher I’ve ever thrown to.  Period.”  It’s a shame people don’t end include other forms of punctuation when speaking.  “I am the Red Sox ace.  Question mark.  No, I forgot about Chris Sale.  Period.  Actually, exclamation mark.  The best Red Sox pitchers.  Colon.  Not Bartolo.  Period.  I’m going to list them.  Period.  Okay.  Comma.  Damn.  Comma.  I apostrophe V-E confused myself.”  Yesterday, Porcello threw a sparkler — 7 IP, 2 hits, 0 walks, 1 ER, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.04, and roped a double to right, which is fun in a dog on rollerblades-type way, but is kinda irrelevant.  What’s less irrelevant, Rick Porcello is pitching better this year than his Cy Young year, though with less ERA to show for it, obviously.  That could change in the final six weeks if he finds his groove.  Period.  Ya know what, exclamation mark.  Strike that, interrobang.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Clearly, there’s a major issue here.  The issue revolves around a few Buys this week.  They are Mark Trumbo, Tim Beckham, Jonathan Villar and Trey Mancini.  Any guesses their connection?  No, they don’t all wear a bear costume during the offseason for bachelorette parties.  I mean, they could, but no.  I don’t think so.  Their connection and the issue can be summed in this question, is the entire Orioles lineup really hot or have they just faced garbage pitching for the last week?  I’d give you the answer, but I’d have to kill you, and I don’t know your address.  I guess I have your IP, but is it roaming?  VPN?  Am I really traveling around to kill you when I could just not tell you the answer?  That is the other choice here, right?  Such a dilemma!  Let me sleep on it.  *pulls Murphy bed out of wall, lies down, Murphy bed flies up and traps me*  Muffled screams, “Mark Trumbo has been the hottest hitter in the league!  If you need power, I’d grab him in all leagues!  Also, can you pull down this freakin’ bed?!”  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s all Rangers, all the time up in this Mug’s Root Beer.  You in your 90’s, “Hey, kiddo, I remember back in the August of 2018, this young man, Grey Albright.  He had a full head of hair and a gorgeous hairlip.  Well, that young squirrel talked at length about the Texas Rangers.  Texas?  You don’t remember that?  It was a state.  It became a part of Meh-eee-co after the War of 2020, when Admiral Kushner tried to invade Tijuana to erect a large-scale fence twenty yards from an already erected fence.  Oh, well, it was nice talking to you, I’m going back to watch The Real Housewives of Miami Island.”  Yesterday, Joey Gallo (3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 30th and 31st homer) lit up the scoreboard like the Macy’s Day Parade.  Macy’s Day is a holiday when jeans you don’t want are purchased cheaply by relatives and handed to you, much to your chagrin.  It’s a tradition; don’t act above it.  You, “Can this guy really talk for 500 words about Joey Gallo without talking about Joey Gallo?”  Just try me!  So, Gallo is on pace for a nearly identical year to last year when he hit 41 HRs and .209.  Right now, his average is at .202, but, don’t worry, he’s got at least .007 in that bat!  His strikeout rate never budged from last year no matter what spring training narratives were saying about him cutting his Ks down.  Have you seen his swing?  He starts in Austin and ends in Arlington.  Never the hoo!  He is who he is, and good at what he does — hit bombs.  Now, see you back here tomorrow for all the dirt on Isiah Kiner’s Korner with Falafel.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week Madison Bumgarner journeyed to Arizona with his sights on his lifelong dream: jumping the Grand Canyon with his dirt bike. While he was in the area, MadBum decided to drop in at Chase Field to toss 5 innings of shaky one run ball against old man Zach Greinke. Both of these vets flashed nice wood in this outing. Not that kind of wood! I’m talking about wood baseball bats, they each flashed the lumber, driving in one run off their counterpart. B_Don and Donkey tell you everything you need to know about this intriguing pitching matchup, including what to expect from each of these aging aces for the rest of this season and beyond.

Your handsome hosts also profile the rapidly rising star Eugenio Suarez in this episode. Spoiler alert Donkey has a very lofty (and crazy) Eugenio Suarez comp. Lastly, listen in to find out which waiver wire targets might lead you to fantasy baseball fame and fortune down the stretch. Experience this week’s Ditka, Sausage Pod here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?