Please see our player page for Matt Duffy to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

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Guys wearing nothing but raspberries, screaming to the camera, “We’re the Fram-Boys! We celebrate Framber Valdez with every fiber of our body, and our body is eight grams dietary fiber in every cup. And, go ahead, and give us a cup check! It’s filled with raspberries, wanna see?” Back to the studio for Astros’ announcer, Todd Kalas, laughing, “Those Fram-Boys! Sure hope they don’t stain any linens.” Framber Valdez (9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.50) just notched his 24th consecutive Quality Start. Framber heard to be celebrated here but nowhere else, because Amber Heard sued Johnny Depp and is in that sentence? On the next Povich! Yeah, I don’t know why, but Framber seems to be way below other similar pitchers in people’s minds. Here’s one for you: Framber Valdez or Sandy Alcantara? Sandy’s discussed in Cy Young terms; Framber is teammates to a guy who might win the Cy Young. Are Sandy and Framber Valdez that different? Are Framber and Sandy Alcantara that different for 2023 fantasy? I’m not being daft, here’s some peripherals: 8.5 K/9, 3.09 xFIP, 2.50 ERA vs. 8.1 K/9, 3.39 xFIP and 2.43 ERA. Any ideas which is which? The better peripherals? They’re Framber Valdez’s! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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*digs nose into an open field of grass, lifts head, eyes filled with tears* This smells of my youth!

Passerby, “My dog just peed there, so probably because you used to wet yourself.”

Baseball is back.

“Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season. My first wish: No one I roster get hurt. My 2nd wish: Everyone I roster do well. I drafted Bobby Witt Jr., Julio Rodriguez, and Seiya Suzuki, so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish. My 3rd and final wish: All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing the Moonwalk. Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you!”

Glad I didn’t waste a wish on losing a closer during some janky Chris Paddack trade, because that didn’t need a wish. Chris Paddack and Emilio Pagan were moved to the Twins for Taylor Rogers, Brent Rooker and cash. This trade was done as it snowed all across the baseball community. *intern whispers in ear* It wasn’t snow? It was dandruff from all the head scratching? Oh, I see. This feels like a deal we hear about in five years when the authorities figure out the Twins were secretly working with the Padres. Incredibly, the Padres tried to give Paddack away to everyone, then the Twins paid full price. Like, what even? For a month, every team was supposedly trying to acquire Paddack, when, in reality, it was just the Padres trying to give Paddack away for anything. Chris Paddack was so highly sought after that the Padres pretended to trade him to every team. Statcast sliders aren’t good and neither is Chris Paddack. I suppose if he can fix his fastball, but, allow this small cackle of truth, why didn’t he fix his fastball while in San Diego? Didn’t feel like it? Um, okay. So, I wouldn’t suddenly be interested in Paddack, outside of AL-Only leagues. I’ll go over the Padres and Twins’ pens on the other side of the anyway. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Mr. Roboto,” is Rudy singing to his computer screen about his robots. I say, “Rudy, what is your favorite robot?” Rudy says, “Well, I have the Pigskinonator for fantasy football, the Streamonator for streaming pitchers, the Stocktononator for fantasy basketball and the Friendonator to find a replacement for you. I guess the Friendonator would have to be my favorite.” That’s pretty cool, Rudy, thanks. So, my favorite robot of his, since I don’t follow any of those other sports is, the Streamonator. Something about a sad, lonely robot sitting at a roadside diner unable to eat peach pie because it will rust itself. Its only solace is picking the best starters of the day over the din of Roy Orbison. Sad and metallic, “Pretty woman, working down the street.” Plus, the Streamonator had me loving Jordan Montgomery (5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.63) yesterday, and loves, loves, lurves his next one vs. the Rangers. Of course, I love Jordan outside of matchups — no JoMo! What’s odd (to me, at least); Jordan Montgomery’s peripherals — 9.3 K/9, 2.9 BB/9, 3.56 FIP, 1.25 WHIP — and his team should have everyone thinking of Jordan Montgomery for 2022 fantasy in a better light than he deserves, but I get the sense people think less of him. No idea why that is, maybe it’s his stuff — 92.5 MPH fastball, reliant on curve and change — maybe it’s something else. Perhaps Rudy has a robot to tell us why people think how they do, like a Brainonator. “Yes, but it doesn’t work on you.” That hurts, Rudy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Yesterday, Salvador Perez hit his 41st homer. Today, you get a Salvador Appreciation Post, or SAP. You might be asking yourself the same as every Y! Answers when you google SAP, “How do I turn SAP off?” You can’t turn it off. It’s going into your eyeballs and, with each passing word, it becomes harder to turn back. If you remove all pitchers, the top home run hitter in the major leagues is Salvador Perez, a catcher. What a year for fantasy, is what I say right before I wander into traffic wearing nothing but a potato sack. “If you remove all pitchers, the top home run hitter in the major leagues is…” is the funniest thing that’s ever graced this site. That a catcher is the next best home run hitter is just a cherry on top of this season. “Wow, I can’t believe I can draft Cody Bellinger in the 2nd round this year,” that’s what the apparition floating next to me keeps saying, because I’m haunted. Salvador Perez is in one of those situations that I thought would benefit Juan Soto too. There’s no one in that lineup with Perez, so why not pitch to him? The only difference between Soto and Perez is about .440 OBP or 90-ish walks. If you knew someone like, say, Perez would swing at anything, wouldn’t you throw him nothing but junk in the dirt? For Sal Perez to hit 41 homers, he should’ve only saw 41 strikes all year. Alas, no one wants to tangle with Benintendi, apparently. For 2022, I continue to cackle in a jar and seal it quickly like it’s a lightning bug. Only I plan on releasing those cackles in 2022 when someone drafts Salvador Perez in the top 25 overall next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If we have learned anything from the first 38+ games of the year, it is that we should always be flexible.  Not, being able to bend over and tie your shoe without pulling an adductor muscle flexible, but somewhere around there.  Isn’t it amazing that we, the fantasy community, have learned that there are 163 muscles in the abdomen alone somehow…which makes sense when they are being pulled on a daily basis.  The 13-year old in me would have went with the groin muscle for a joke like that, but I have grown up quite a bit.  Plus, I make that joke with my wife, who then proceeds to call that a “minor” strain, and I cry myself to sleep.  Let me rub the sleep/shame out of my eye and present to you, Week 6:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m not gonna lie, my friends:  if your deep leagues look anything like mine, the waiver wires continue to be in a bit of a lull in terms of suitable roster reinforcements.  I’ve got the likes of Danny Mendick and Pat Valaika in my starting AL-only lineups, and am starting the week with multiple injured players active in one of my NL-only leagues because sadly there just wasn’t anyone available to pick up over the weekend that I thought would be better than a zero in my lineup.  If you’re in a similar situation, where even the players who are completely off the radar in most leagues are already owned in yours, hopefully you’re keeping your team afloat as we press on into mid-May.  For now, let’s take a look at another group of players — all of whom are between 0 and 5 percent owned in CBS leagues — that could be of interest to NL-only, AL-only, and other deep-league fantasy baseballers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The season is in full swing and unfortunately players are dropping like flies. Is it just me or does it feel like injuries have been through the roof this season? Don’t forget to check out JKJ’s injury roundup for the prognosis. Likely you’re now in need of replacements and if your team has avoided the injury bug, well good for you. In any case a little extra depth is never a bad thing. We’ll mostly be looking at hitters today but there is one notable pitcher who deserves your attention. Dylan Cease has turned in back to back starts that were everything you could hope for. The Ks are flowing, and the ceiling is the roof. His raw stuff is amazing but his control has always held him back. He was my bold pick for Cy Young so I’m loving watching him put it all together. He won’t last long.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When I started researching this article, I was aiming to list stolen base targets owned in less than 50% of ESPN leagues, but apparently, I could have lowered that number all the way to 7%. However, I’m basing that ownership on FantasyPros’s ESPN data. I don’t use ESPN myself anymore. I’m still waiting for them to reply to a customer service email I sent in 2008. 

But here’s the situation you find yourself in now — you’re dead last in SB in your roto league. “I planned it this way,” you say to your league mates. 

“Yep, I punted stolen bases — who cares about 1 category if I’m dominating the others?” You grimace as you look at Adalberto Mondesi’s 0 SBs on your IL, Jonathan Villar’s 0 SBs on your bench, Leody Taveras’s .160 OBP you had to drop after 3 weeks of garbage baseball. 

And you’re not dominating the other categories, are you Tommy? You’re not dominating them at all. And now you find yourself desperate. Kenta Maeda and Kyle Hendricks have forgotten how to pitch (until this week.) Luis Robert is basically done for the year and that can’t-miss, sure-fire, put him in the Hall of Fame now prospect Kyle Tucker is, in fact, missing all over the place! That’s where SAGNOF has your back. The players below are so low-owned they’re cheaper than free. Pick 1 or 2 of them up and start making that climb in your league’s SB column. Deshi deshi basara basara! Deshi deshi basara basara! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?