With the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings for every position done, we turn our lazy eye towards the top 100 for 2013 fantasy baseball.  These 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are one part fresh and two parts to death.  They own a cat, a dog and a lizard in a two bedroom apartment where pets aren’t allowed.  Know why?  Cause they don’t care!  None of this top 100 for 2013 fantasy baseball is meant to surprise.  *jumping out of a closet*  Boo!  Now, that was meant to surprise.  This top 100 is just taking my positional rankings and putting guys in The Big Picture.  You really should read each ranking post because the blurbs in this top 100 are on the skimpy side because there’s so many of them, and I went over each one of these guys already.  Obviously at a hundred players, some guys just didn’t make it.  About 300, to be inexact.  It’s okay, there will be a top 400 tomorrow.  Shortly, Sloth, you’ll have your Baby Ruth.  Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel.  Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2013 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.”  Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters.  Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter!  To help with your drafting, there’s also a list of players with multiple position eligibility, and all of the 2013 fantasy baseball projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2013 fantasy baseball:

1. Miggy Cabrera – His ranking would fall if MLB’s deal with Perugina goes through and they switch out baseballs with white chocolate balls filled with schnapps.  “Football can have its deal with Gatorade; we’ve got Perugina!”  That’s Bud Selig.  BTW, Bud Selig will be retiring soon and starring in a Scott Pilgrim sequel where he is pitted against his younger self.  2013 Projections: 110/39/124/.327/3

2. Ryan Braun – He’s a lock for these numbers even if he mails it in.  If he mails it in using FedEx, he’s a lock for much better numbers.  2013 Projections: 105/34/116/.319/22

3. Andrew McCutchen – Gonna be great.  Even if he just repeats last year, he’s worth this draft slot.  Even if he falls off a little bit from last year, he’s still worth the draft spot, ya bish. 2013 Projections: 102/30/107/.295/27

4. Mike Trout – Especially valuable in pescetarian leagues.  2013 Projections: 108/19/102/.326/48

5. Robinson Cano – Everyone knows he was named after Jackie Robinson.  What most don’t know is he was born on October 42nd.  2013 Projections:  105/30/110/.310/4

6. Albert Pujols – I want to see a commercial where Albert Pujols talks in third person, endorsing Preparation H.  Pujols hits a homer, camera pans to him and he says the tag line, “Pujols don’t always look this good.”  2013 Projections:  103/32/112/.297/7

7. Prince Fielder – Nothing can stop Prince Fielder, except daddy-son relationship building exercises.  “We’re gonna need more rope.”  That’s a tug-of-war organizer after Cecil tied himself to Prince’s front porch.  2013 Projections:  94/39/117/.291/1

8. Joey Votto – In the top 10 for 2013 fantasy baseball, I said, “Someone needs a new hobby….but that’s why God invented running backwards…”  I gotta work on what quotes to pull.  2013 Projections:  104/25/110/.320/5

9. Giancarlo Stanton – I wanted to wait until April for this announcement but it’s time.  My real name is Greycarlo.  2013 Projections:  92/45/110/.277/7

10. Justin Upton – I saw one fantasy ‘pert has Upton in the thirties overall (rankings, not age).  I understand it.  It’s sooooooo (yes, 7 oh’s) much easier to just regurgitate how people ended last season.  You get no grief if you rank players as they performed for the previous year.  This obviously does no one any good and that ‘pert had the worst rankings for last year and has managed to outstink even that for this year.  Also, I updated Upton’s blurb at the top 10 for 2013 fantasy baseball when he was traded.  2013 Projections:  100/28/104/.284/19

11. Carlos Gonzalez – As I said in the top 20 for 2013 fantasy baseball in CarGo’s blurb-a-rooski, he’s 27 years old.  That’s slightly crazy to me.  I wonder if he had the same maternity nurse as Miguel Tejada.  2013 Projections:  100/28/102/.307/19

12. Evan Longoria – I’ll be honest, I’m scared to draft Longoria this year.  I’ll do it, because my fear for him failing again is much less than my fear of him actually performing on someone else’s fantasy team.  I’m driven by fear.  As my Polish neighbor would say, what can do?  2013 Projections:  89/32/107/.283/5

13. Adam Jones – I feel it in my bones that Adam Jones is going to give a top ten hitter season.  I don’t feel it in my bones in public though, that would get me arrested.  2013 Projections:  90/34/100/.284/15

14. Matt Kemp – I feel it in those aforementioned bones that I’m not drafting Kemp this year.  I don’t hold it against him that he lost a girl to someone who has already punched her, but his injury concerns have me wary.  2013 Projections: 88/25/100/.294/19

15. Josh Hamilton – Went over my Josh Hamilton 2013 fantasy.  I wrote it while Arte Moreno was juggling Faberge eggs. 2013 Projections:  92/29/109/.277/7

16. Adrian Beltre – I’m sure there will be a bit of a drop off with Beltre, but he has three straight solid years and he’ll still be in Arlington for half his games.  I’m hoping he’s drafted before I have to make a choice on him, but I’m not too concerned he’ll give at least a 25 homer, 85 RBI year.  There’s enough value there at 3rd base to not sweat it like Wayne Knight on a treadmill.  2013 Projections:  82/28/103/.281/2

17. Ian Kinsler – He seems like the type that will one day be on Dancing With the Stars, then pull a hammy and have to excuse himself.  BTW, TV nowadays is Hollywood Squares times 500.  On every channel there’s someone with a chyron next to their name that says, “Celebrity.”  It’s Hollywood Squares with cooking, Hollywood Squares with dancing, Hollywood Squares with dating, Hollywood Squares with overcoming drug addiction.  Only thing there isn’t is Hollywood Squares with Hollywood effin’ Squares.  2013 Projections:  102/25/77/.258/20

18. Jose Bautista – Something that wasn’t reported after the Blue Jays made all of those moves because it’s complete conjecture.  The Marlins probably also traded the Blue Jays their “Let’s buy all the good players, but we’re gonna still disappoint” jinx.  Bautista is still working his way back from a wonky wrist and he’s someone I’m going to be watching closely in Spring Training (from 500 feet away; court order upheld!).  I might just move him down twenty spots if he has one setback.  2013 Projections:  91/32/100/.272/5

19. Paul Goldschmidt – Some people were downright appalled I ranked him so high, saying I had bended to public pressure.  The thing is — and there’s always a thing — I did these rankings back in December (I did not fear the Mayans!), and am only posting them piecemeal.  I had no idea Goldschmidt would be ranked high by others.  I was actually kinda of bummed because I thought I might be further out on a limb with AuShizz and that’s where I wanted to be because I trust him.  You don’t have to believe me, but he is the one player Rudy and I both agreed that we wanted for 2013 back in September during our last 2012 podcast.  So I’m not bending to others, if anything, I see it as others are stealing my AuShizz.  2013 Projections: 84/29/104/.274/12

20. Adrian Gonzalez – About two years ago, I ranked Ryan Howard around here.  I figured Howard was due for a bounce back and liked the idea of getting a potential 1st rounder at a discount.  Yeah, that didn’t work out and A-Gon might not either.  Cust kayin’.  2013 Projections:  86/29/112/.292/1

21. Justin Verlander – I think he’s still dating Kate Upton, which brings me to my latest PR stunt to help baseball.  A sex video!  No, I’m joking.  Or am I?  Yeah, I am.  My stunt:  MLB should pay Kate Upton to run on the field in a bikini and kiss random players a’la Morgana.  Viewership would go through the roof.  As for Verlander, as I said in the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, I won’t be drafting him.  2013 Projections:  20-7/2.71/1.03/234

22. Troy Tulowitzki – Nate Silver says there’s a 20% chance Tulo stays healthy this year.  He also says there’s a 100% chance I just made up that statistic.  2013 Projections:  83/25/98/.288/7

23. Jose Reyes – I hear the arguments about how Bonifacio or EverCab or any other SAGNOF guy aren’t that different than a 2nd round Reyes.  Well, Reyes has done it seven of eight years in his career.  There’s a bit more of a track record there, c’mon.  That’s me being disappointed with you.  2013 Projections:  110/12/60/.285/40

24. Dustin Pedroia – Hey, our first Sparky Anklebiter!  Speaking of which, my Cougar said she saw Al Pacino recently and he was five-foot three.  I mean, you always hear about Al being short, but try to actually picture a five-foot, three-inch Al Pacino.  That blows my mind.  Hoo-ah!  2013 Projections:  90/17/100/.291/20

25. Stephen Strasburg – I want Strasburg like a fat kid wants 9 hours of video games a day, but he’s going before this in most mocks so I may not get him.  2013 Projections:  18-6/2.77/1.05/227

26. Ryan Zimmerman – He did me so wrong last year I still sit on an inflatable pillow.  We’re gonna form a prayer hexagon in March for everyone that drafts him again.  2013 Projections:  88/27/108/.293/6

27. Edwin Encarnacion –  You know what’s gonna happen, right?  We’re not going to draft Encarnacion this year, he’ll hit 40 homers again and then in 2014 we will draft him and he’ll hit 12 homers.  It’s possible, but I’ll cross that bridge of despair when we get to it.  2013 Projections:  87/30/98/.269/7

28. David Wright – Assuming Wright gets to me here, I can totally see drafting him.  That goes for the next player ranked too.  Don’t peek ahead to see who it is.  Cheater!  2013 Projections:  88/24/102/.286/15

29. Matt Holliday – I’m prepared to be completely underwhelmed by Holliday.  I mean, 26 homers with little chance for upside isn’t going to win you any leagues.  But what he brings that I’m excited about owning is steady production.  Damn, I sound like an adult.  2013 Projections:  92/26/100/.304/5

30. Buster Posey – You want me to write a Buster Posey overrated post?  You may get what you want.  2013 Projections:  74/25/97/.309/1

31. Hanley Ramirez – I have a secret.  I originally ranked Hanley around 18th overall.  Then I thought about how I would never in a million years draft him 18th overall, and I dropped him to where I would actually consider it.  2013 Projections:  84/23/95/.260/20  See Top 400 for updated projections.

32. Starlin Castro – I don’t love taking a top shortstop, but I’ll give Starlin a whirl (Starlin A’whirl is also the name of my favorite carny).  I’d actually love to know what it’s like to own a guy that is projected to hit over .300.  2013 Projections:  92/16/83/.310/25

33. David Price – I won’t draft Price here.  Before you say, but what if he’s here to draft?  There’s no chance that the first 32 guys are off the board when you get to pick 33 unless you are drafting against 11 other Greys.  Even though past girlfriends have said they wish there were eleven other Greys that could all go at least three minutes, there’s only one of me.  I’m sorry.  2013 Projections: 16-8/2.90/1.09/210

34. Jay Bruce – In H2H leagues, prepare to love and hate Bruce from week to week.  2013 Projections:  95/35/105/.259/7

35. Shin-Soo Choo – Our OPS writer, Tom, drafted Shin-Soo Choo in his early 2013 fantasy baseball mock draft and took some guff for it.  Y’all are a bunch of guffers.  Choo is in the best place in the world to have a top ten outfielder season.  I would take him just as early as OPS Tom.  2013 Projections:  108/23/79/.296/20

36. Jason Heyward – If it’s not clear from my rankings, I’m taking an outfielder around here in a draft.  If I have Giancarlo or Upton in the first round, I probably won’t take another top outfielder, but I might (in 5 OF leagues).  You can’t have enough hitting, ever.  2013 Projections:  87/25/94/.262/10

37. Bryce Harper – When I originally ranked Harper here, I thought I might end up drafting him.  Then I started seeing early ADP returns and it looks like there’s no way I’m getting him.  2013 Projections:  102/25/69/.261/22

38. Brandon Phillips – He’s my 2nd base answer to Holliday.  I’m not fiending to get Phillips on the Grey Albright Hair Lip All-Stars, but I’ll take him and his steady production.  2013 Projections:  82/18/75/.275/15

39. Ben Zobrist – When I was writing up this blurb, Mobb Deep’s Shook Ones, Pt. II came on my iTunes, and I thought about how his wife should do a cover of that song.  I think I’d find her take interesting.  2013 Projections:  85/18/75/.264/18

40. Clayton Kershaw – Right now, he’s going about two rounds prior to this so there’s no way anyone’s drafting him either if you’re following this.  2013 Projections:  17-7/2.98/1.10/218

41. Felix Hernandez – Also, being drafted before I have him, so, ya know, enjoy him if you get him, I won’t.  2013 Projections: 14-9/3.10/1.12/219

42. Zack Greinke – First legitimate chance I have of drafting a pitcher.  I could see me taking Giancarlo and Longoria in the first two rounds, then draft Phillips and Greinke.  Then I would run around my office singing Bachman-Turner Overdrive.  2013 Projections:  16-8/2.97/1.12/215

43. Pablo Sandoval – Probably won’t own this guy and the next few (stop peeking!).  There’s a chance, but, honestly, I only get one pick every 12, 14, 15 or 18 picks, I can only own so many guys.  If you don’t have a 3rd baseman already, I think you should be fine with Pablo Sando-extremely-oval.  2013 Projections:  84/25/90/.289/3

44. Chase Headley – Try this:  Write on a post-it note “San Diego hitter” then stick it on your computer screen over Chase’s name.  Still want to draft him?  Yeah, I’m worried too.  2013 Projections:  79/20/92/.280/15  See Top 400 for updated projections.

45. Cole Hamels – There’s some talk about a sore shoulder so he may get dropped lower in the spring.  Be careful if you’re drafting early.  Be very careful if you’re drafting early while riding a shark.  2013 Projections:  16-6/3.04/1.09/212

46. B.J. Upton – We’re pretty comfortably in the area where rankings and drafting starts to get a bit wonky.  In the first 20 or so players, things go more or less as expected.  By around here, you have some guys drafting guys from the 70’s overall on this list to some guys taking guys that were in your top 25.  You need to draft your team.  If you need a guy that could give you 25 homers and 40 steals, then grab Upton.  Just know you shouldn’t be teaming him with another .250 hitter.  2013 Projections:  90/25/72/.255/39

47. Jimmy Rollins – I don’t project sub-.250 averages easily.  That should give you an idea of how bad Rollins could potentially be.  2013 Projections:  88/19/61/.248/24

48. Matt Cain – Pitchers are weird.  Cain could easily be a top five guy for all of fantasy this year, but you could also get 50+ pitching points out of a possible 60 and not draft a pitcher for another few rounds.  Sure, that could be said of hitters too, but by pitchers it can be by design.  Feel free to feast your eyes on Simply Fred’s streaming pitchers post.  2013 Projections: 15-8/2.95/1.04/191

49. Desmond Jennings – I want Desmond in a few leagues this year.  If I get Giancarlo and Jennings on one team, my excitement may explode.  You’ve been warned.  2013 Projections:  92/17/59/.262/35

50. Jacoby Ellsbury – Thankfully, a Son of Sam Horn will draft Ellsbury prior to most of us even having to make a decision on him.  2013 Projections:  89/14/64/.286/35

51. Yoenis Cespedes – I’ll probably be drafting my first pitcher around here.  Perchance I’m not, I’d take Yoenis.  Oh, and don’t ever say “perchance” outside of 18th century Great Britain, you will get beat up.  2013 Projections:  82/25/95/.281/15

52. Madison Bumgarner – As I just said, pitching is the name of the game here and Bumgarner will probably be on a team or two of mine.  Really, the only thing holding me back is a personal thing.  I owned him a bunch last year, and might just want some variety.  Since there’s so many pitchers, you can do that sort stuff.  Now, Gatorade me b*tch!  2013 Projections: 16-9/3.28/1.08/195

53. Craig Kimbrel – Someone who doesn’t believe in the credo SAGNOF will take him before I do.  Con los brazos abiertos!  Oops, that’s Creedo, the Creed Spanish cover band.  2013 Projections: 5-2/2.07/0.92/107, 46 saves

54. Gio Gonzalez – Right now, he’s under a cloud of PEDs.  I think that cloud only has a 10% chance of raining a suspension.  Luckily, there should be a decision made prior to anyone’s draft.  2013 Projections:  17-10/3.29/1.16/207

55. Cliff Lee – I try to avoid looking at where people are drafting guys early on to not taint my rankings.  So, I ranked Lee where I thought he’d be early, but I don’t think there’s any way on this green planet that Al Gore wants to hug that I’m going to get Lee ranking him here.  Oh, well.  2013 Projections:  13-10/3.05/1.06/212

56. Max Scherzer – I’m preparing to go down in a giant Scherzer ball of flaming Ks and walks.  “Hey, what’s that burning sensation?  Oh, maybe it’s my new ulcer.  I never thought I’d get one of those just by drafting one player.  Thanks, Scherzer!”  That’s me around midseason.  2013 Projections:  15-6/3.30/1.24/225

57. Adam Wainwright – I was saying to my sister/wives, “I want Wainwright on every team!”  Only I don’t have any front teeth so you couldn’t make out what I said.  BTW, when did TLC stand for the freak station?  They’re like the guy that’s been married for twenty years carrying around his wife’s pocketbook.  They’ve just given up all hope.  No, it’s a Happy Honey Boo year!  TLC:  The Lack of Culture channel.  2013 Projections:  16-8/3.12/1.19/193

58. Billy Butler – Keep in the back of your mind that if you draft Butler, he might miss a few games when he leaves for a few days to model the new line of swimsuits from Lane Bryant.  2013 Projections:  75/26/95/.309/1

59. Ike Davis – I already wrote an Ike Davis sleeper post.  Let’s just say with this ranking I’m gonna own Davis everywhere.  2013 Projections:  76/34/102/.259

60. Allen Craig – Here’s a few reasons why I won’t own Allen Craig this year:  A) He’s going to get hurt. B) I have Ike Davis so high there’s no way I’m drafting back to back corner men.  C) There’s no C.  2013 Projections: 67/23/83/.315/3

61. Carlos Santana – Let’s see, I drafted my first pitcher in the fifth round then followed that up with Ike Davis, so how am I drafting a catcher here?  Am I getting a third draft pick in two rounds by osmosis?  There’s no osmosis in baseball!  Osmosis Alou never made it past Double-A.  2013 Projections:  79/26/94/.259/3

62. Ian Desmond – Honestly, I’m half expecting him to give a season of 8 homers, 14 steals and get benched.  Hey, if you trust middle infielders, you’re the stunod, not me.  2013 Projections:  68/20/77/.264/18

63. Jordan Zimmermann – There’s a good chance I get Zimmermann or Latos or Moore as my 2nd starter, and they’ll end up being my first starter when Scherzer gives me early-onset agita.  I won’t be drafting Zimmermann or Latos or Moore this early.  I’ll wait to see which one is still around in the early 9th round and go from there.  2013 Projections:  14-10/3.09/1.13/172

64. Mat Latos – See what I said for Zimmmermann, then multiply it by the fraction three-fifths.  2013 Projections:  16-9/3.33/1.12/188

65. Matt Moore – Out of all the players that play this great game Lil’ Abner invented (or was it Kevin Costner?  Hmm, well, whatever….), I’m most excited about Moore for this year.  I wouldn’t be surprised if at the end of the year he’s in the top ten on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  Not for pitchers.  For all players.  I might write a sleeper post for Moore, send it to Obama, have him pass it through Congress and declare it law.  I’m that giddy.  2013 Projections:  15-9/3.19/1.23/225

66. Aramis Ramirez – Shortly, I’ll have a post up where I put together my best 2013 fantasy baseball team and I could see Aramis manning third for it.  Take, say, Pujols and Adam Jones with the first two picks and by around now you’re gonna be sweating that if you don’t grab a 3rd baseman soon you’re gonna have Jeff Keppinger at your Not Corner.  2013 Projections:  72/24/87/.277/3

67. Brett Lawrie – Kinda hoping I don’t have to mess with Lawrie this year, but if I do because I still don’t have a 3rd baseman, here’s hoping for a Heyward-type bounce back.  2013 Projections:  74/17/83/.278/14

68. Aroldis Chapman – I already went over my Aroldis Chapman 2013 fantasy.  I wrote the whole thing without the letter Q.  2013 Projections:  6-2/2.35/0.95/118, 41 saves

69. Aaron Hill – I wonder if Hill arrived in Arizona and started complaining the pasta was all egg noodles and ketchup.  2013 Projections:  86/22/80/.263/12

70. Elvis Andrus – Might not be anything more than SAGNOF, but I sure wish we could count on him for at least that.  Speaking of SAGNOF, my Cougar went to Sundance a few weeks ago.  So, of course, I armed her with a SAGNOF t-shirt to put on celebrities.  Well, she didn’t get Robert Redford…Or Tom Cruise…Or Jessica Biel, but she did get one… Hey, buddy!  I hope she didn’t have to sleep with him for that.  Eh, actually, I don’t care.  It’s the WEASEL!  2013 Projections:  91/5/60/.285/35

71. Austin Jackson – Here’s another guy I’ll be putting my smiley-faced contact lenses on.  I might have to mix it up between Jackson and Gordon, because I got crazy love for both of them.  I may just end up drafting five outfielders before a middle infielder.  No foolin’.  2013 Projections:  105/15/62/.288/20

72. Alex Gordon – In the top 40 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball, I spoke of my love for Alex Gordon.  It was true, boo.  2013 Projections:  92/27/105/.290/10

73. Hunter Pence – It’s no accident he’s slotted after Austin and Gordon.  There’s little chance I own Pence.  Now, I’m not saying if something freaky-deaky were to happen I wouldn’t.  It’s just highly unlikely.  2013 Projections: 81/24/95/.284/7

74. Alex Rios – Reread what I said about Pence but only once and then skip to Cruz.  Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in a fantasy baseball time continuum. 2013 Projections: 88/19/70/.281/18

75. Nelson Cruz – There’s a chance that Cruz stays healthy, hits 42 homers and has a huge year.  There’s also a chance he reveals he was at the gym, comparing his scrotum sack to A-Rod and Roger Clemens’s wife and he’s suspended for PEDs.  Unlike with Gio, I think there’s a solid chance of the latter happening.  If it does, he’ll be dropped to after the top 200.  2013 Projections:  74/25/86/.265/7

76. Carlos Beltran – Well, he probably won’t have the season like he just did.  Unless the six dozen 300-pound hamsters that are powering the earth run extra fast.  Hmm, I should stop reading those conspiracy theory websites.  2013 Projections:  75/23/89/.279/10

77. Freddie Freeman – A small part of me still thinks Freeman could be James Loney in sheep’s clothing, with his 2012 power pulling the wool over our eyes.  Mixed metaphor point!  2013 Projections:  90/25/98/.267/2

78. Mark Trumbo – Okay, so we’re firmly in an area where I’m worried about players.  The Sciosciapath scares the bedeityofchoiceus out of me.  Trumbo could be a platoon player by the end of April and it wouldn’t shock me.  Surprise, but not shock.  Hmm, Huh, Wow, WHAT?!  That’s going from surprise to shock.   2013 Projections:   62/28/82/.258/5

79. Jered Weaver – I have problems with Kershaw, Kemp, Weaver, Trumbo, Crawford and Hanley, so it seems like I don’t like LA teams.  Well, that’s not accurate.  These guys are all just being overrated because Arte Moreno and Magic Johnson have a one dollar bet who’s going to win the World Series.  2013 Projections:  16-7/3.33/1.10/172

80. Jonathan Papelbon – He should be a solid, number one closer on someone else’s team.  Unless Awkward White Guy Dancing is a league category.  2013 Projections: 4-2/2.55/1.02/85, 43 saves

81. CC Sabathia – I think CC is on the verge of being a mid- to late-top 20 starter to being a top 30 to 40 starter next year.  See Roy Halladay for further reading.  2013 Projections:  16-10/3.56/1.20/188

82. Chris Sale – As outlined in the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, these starters have no chance of being on my team.  If I don’t get one of the starters I listed above in the 50 to 75 range (which is impossible, since I have some guys way above their ADP), I’ll just wait a few and grab someone later.  2013 Projections:  13-6/3.45/1.18/178

83. R.A. Dickey – Me fighting with myself:  “Grey, he just won the Cy Young, how down on Dickey can you be?”  “Hehe, you said down on Dickey.”  “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.”  When he went to the Blue Jays, I wrote this of my Dickey fantasy.  “Hehe, you said Dickey fantasy”  “Will you stop?”  2013 Projections:  16-8/3.38/1.17/182

84. James Shields – You could get a 3.25 ERA, 200 Ks pitcher or you could get James Shields.  See, what I did there?  Yeah, I’m not sure either.  Also, I went over my James Shields 2013 fantasy when he ended up on the Royals.  It’s a doozy.  Only two oh’s.  2013 Projections:  13-10/3.77/1.26/198

85. Yu Darvish – He looks primed for a near repeat of his previous year.  Or not.  His track record is pretty Eddy Grant-ish.  2013 Projections:  15-10/3.74/1.24/228

86. Yovani Gallardo – Lots of Ks and walks shouldn’t be a stretch for YoGa.  *cue Rosco P. Coltrane laugh* 2013 Projections:  15-10/3.69/1.26/205

87. Kris Medlen – After all he did for me last year, I feel a bit like a Benedict Arnold ranking Medlen this low, but for all of y’all believers do you really think he’s going to come close to repeating his 2012?  Not a rhetorical, per se, but I have formulated my opinion.  2013 Projections:  13-8/3.44/1.18/161

88. Jake Peavy – Weird case here.  I actually thought I was down on him a bit this year, but if his current ADP is any indication, I’m gonna end up owning Peavy on a lot of teams.  2013 Projections: 12-6/3.60/1.14/175

89. Danny Espinosa – If you couple him with another .240-ish hitter, you’re gonna have trouble.  If you couple him with Zinfandel and brie, you have a picnic.  2013 Projections:  78/19/58/.245/20

90. Anthony Rizzo – I’d like to own Rizzo this year.  I may not just because I might have a corner infidel by this point.  Our collective breath will be bated.  2013 Projections:  74/24/86/.259/6

91. Matt Wieters – Member when people seemed excited, or at least cared, about Matt Wieters?  You still had all of your hair, a sparkle in your eye, and people thought your burping of the alphabet was cool.  2013 Projections:  71/24/85/.264/2

92. Joe Mauer – Member when people seemed excited, or at least cared, about Joe Mauer?  No, I don’t either.  2013 Projections:  83/13/89/.315/7

93. Jason Motte – I could’ve ranked “3rd reliever off the board” here and said the same thing.  Don’t draft a closer yet.  2013 Projections: 5-3/2.62/1.00/82, 41 saves

94. Mariano Rivera  – See what I said for Motte, change 3rd to 4th and shake it all around.  2013 Projections:  3-1/3.08/1.12/50, 35 saves

95. Chris Davis – I think we should start taking bets with the over/under for his projected .251 average, then at the All-Star break we can start figuring out how far above .350 he has to hit in the remaining games to get his average back to .251.  2013 Projections:  66/28/82/.251/2

96. Johnny Cueto – Maybe Cueto can outperform his FIP every year.  Have fun testing that theory out!  2013 Projections:  15-10/3.47/1.22/154

97. Roy Halladay – Oh, have the mighty fallen.  That’s also the last line of the poem, “Halladay at the Bat.”  2013 Projections:  13-9/3.64/1.15/182

98. Jon Lester – I’ll be drafting another starter around 120 overall, i.e., not here.  2013 Projections:  14-9/3.78/1.28/186

99. Jeff Samardzija – His last name rhymes with “love ya,” his first name rhymes with Greyseff.  Your left hand with a lipstick mouth drawn on it says, “Greyseff,” your right hand with a lipstick mouth says “love ya.”  “Greyseff love ya!”  “Greyseff love ya!”  “Greyseff love ya!”  That tells you all you need to know.  But if you’re greedy, you greedy SOB, here’s a Jeff Samardzija sleeper post.  2013 Projections:  12-7/3.45/1.24/195

100. Josh Rutledge – Wild horses couldn’t get me to stop talking about Rutledge.  Wild horses actually like Rutledge.  He has a stray horse farm.  They call him the Mother Teresa of Foal.  I’ve gone over my Josh Rutledge 2013 fantasy where I called him the greatest thing since my tramp stamp that reads, “Giancarlo Wuz Here.”  2013 Projections: 92/17/51/.262/20

 
  1. Steve says:
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    Nice work, especially the cues as to what positions you’re looking at at given points in your rankings. I know you’ve done this before but think you’ve been a bit more explicit this year…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steve: Cool, thanks!

  2. beardcrabs says:
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    i read your post while watching 7 psychopaths and playing clash of clans… not enough hands if you know what i mean…

  3. Omrider says:
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    Love the list, but don’t understand the love for Greinke. His projected ERA and WHIP are way below any but his career year. I’d be happy of someone else took him where you have him.
    And I will be drafting Kershaw early.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Omrider: He’s gonna kill the NL West…

  4. 2 Giant rings says:
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    My favorite Day at Razzball has arrived. For some reason I can’t donate money to Razzball threw PayPal. I purchased a Spanish wine bag just an hour ago so I know my paypal account functional. I had the same problem last year so I owe you for 2 years of trade help. I’ll figure it out or I’ll do it the long way.

  5. Goose says:
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    Grey! Love ya! Happy one-three – hope you had a enjoyably long dark tea time of the soul this offseason. Ramping back up and lookin at keepers.

    14-tearm, 6×6 OBP league. Picking 4 from:
    Miggy, Hamilton, Bruce, Starlin, Sandoval, Ellsbury, MadBum, Mauer

    …from your rankings, I’ve been able to divine who you’d choose. My real question is: based on the fact that some of the other owners only have 2 or 3 quality keeper options and might be looking to trade 1-for-2 or 1-for-3 – what is a fair package to “move up” talent-wise?

    Y’think Hamilton + Bruce + Starlin = a Pujols, CarGo or Longoria? (These three are (theoretically) the only guys who fit the bill for me throwing a hefty 3-for-1 package out – all other teams’ keepers are pretty set/don’t want to part with their top guys.)

    I mean, like, in other words, which d’you like better out of these choices for my four-keeper plan:

    1. Miggy, Hamilton, Bruce, Starlin
    2. Miggy, (Pujols/CarGo/Longoria), Panda, Ellsbury

    ?

    (And a quick side question: considering it’s an OBP league, would you say Mauer perhaps s/b kept over Jacob-why in #2? Dude crushes OBP, per Rudy’s point shares, and I like his three-hole spot in the lineup.)

    (Double-side note: I wouldn’t keep three 3Bs (in a scenario of trading for Longo, and having Mig and Panda), so I’d prob take Mauer over Panda in that case – or maybe this means Longo shouldn’t even be considered a viable trade target?)

    A lotta strands…

    Anyhoo. THANKS, mang, for any thoughts! Always appreciate your wonderfully ‘stachy insights.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Goose: One-three, I like that! Mauer would move up in an OBP league… I like #1 better…

      • Goose says:
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        @Grey: Cool. If I were keep Starlin and deal Panda instead, d’you like this quartet better than #1:

        Miggy, (Pujols/CarGo/Longo), Starlin, Mauer

        ?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yup

  6. Nyjerplease says:
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    Grey, great work as always. Need some help..10team keeper lg. Keep 7 players and can keep them for life. Cats are R,1b,2b,3b,bb,RBI,hr, avg,sb..w,qs,K,bb,era,whip,k/9,sv,hlds

    Locked in keepers are..J Up,Longoria,Felix,Cespedes,Bruce.

    Need 2 more out of
    D Jennings,Andrus,Freeman,Santana,Craig,Matt Moore,JZimmerman

  7. TheNewGuy says:
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    Great stuff Greyman.

    Looking forward to the top 400 now. Only one day to make a whole 300 player ranking blurb post, how does he do it…ah nigh on impossible all night tasks, reminds me of my days at uni (college to you guys).

    Oh ya missed the projections on ‘BlitzCraig’ Kimbrel, just a heads up.

    • VinWins

      VinWins says:
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      @TheNewGuy: Thanks, I added Kimbrel’s numbers.

  8. Jash says:
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    Made my day.

    Thank-you Grey.

    Ahma rubbin it

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jash: No problem…

  9. nyydj2 says:
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    Hey Grey, just wondering if you might be cherry picking expert mocks for the ADP’s you frequently refer to. The only sight I have been finding them at this stage is Mock Catfish Central and they are so skewed that even mocking there is pretty unrealistic for its purpose. There recent reshuffling has made it even more of a joke. When you see Granderson ranked inside the top 10 and Votto and Cano outside of the top 10, and half heir drafts filled with bots on auto, their ADP’s are useless. There are dozens of other examples just in the top 100. Actually, after the top 5 or 6, they do not even come close to resembling rankings. I can’t put any weight into them at all. Can’t wait for other sites to open. Awesome job on your rankings!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @nyydj2: I only had MDC to look at for a lot of these… I’d look at ESPN now… Thanks!

      • joet says:
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        He’s right – MDC’s ADP’s are useless for the reasons he cites.

        Get the NFBC ADP’s. There have been over 60 real $$$ drafts created with most completed. The ADP’s are spot on for realism.

    • Jay29 says:
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      @nyydj2: “Mock Catfish Central?” That’s a funny autocorrect.

  10. Adam Wainwright, III says:
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    “I rank him here, but I won’t draft him here.”

    Grey, you get your lists from M.C. Escher?

  11. Tom Jacks

    Tom Jacks says:
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    Re: J-Up – My first thought was, “Did Berry publish his 2013 rankings?” My second thought was, “No, that can’t be, he usually waits til March after everybody has already published theirs.” Then I found an “early points league rankings” from AJ Mass that has J-Up 40th among hitters, with Bourn (6th) Grandy (8th), and Rollins (11th). Berry’s got some in-house competition this year…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Tom Jacks: Bourn 6 overall? Rollins 11th overall? Neither of those make sense for just their positions so I gotta assume that’s utterly insane…

  12. Sul says:
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    I have Giancarlo and Jennings on my team, should my head explode with excitement?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Sul: Yes, sir!

      • Powerslave says:
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        @Grey: I have Giancarlo/Phillips/Jennings/Rizzo, should I stay away from other human beings??, don’t wanna hurt anybody….

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I suggest meditation.

        • Powerslave says:
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          @Powerslave: plus in 15 team 5 OF league I ended up with 6 of your top 50 players!!!, SEIS!!!!, Greycarlo/Hamilton/Phillips/Jennings/King Felix/Cain…., Arriba Grey!!!!!!!!!

  13. Commish Cauda says:
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    Great work, as usual, fine sir! Also always enjoy your 80’s references…Scrappy Doo, Goonies, cruising too slow at the shore (though I got more tickets for chirpping rubber in my 5.0 than cruising), etc. Brings me back home to Jersey, Mr. Hackensack.

    But Goodfellas was 1990… Travesty that it didn’t win Best Picture that year.

  14. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    Is Michael Bourn gonna sign soon? Are Texas and the Mets still in the running?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson: I don’t think it matters for his numbers where he signs… Unless it’s Houston then he loses runs…

    • TheNewGuy says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson:
      Looks like the Mutts to me. Texas dont need no leadoff man with Kins and Elvis.

  15. I’m gonna go watch Son in Law and brain bang Carla Gugino. SAGNOF!!

  16. ShidestheLimit says:
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    Alright Greyseff, quick question for ya. I’m keeping 6 guys, but only for this year as next year we’re abolishing keepers and moving to an auction format. This league is 10-team, mixed league 6×6 with OPS being added to hitting and pitching cat’s as follows: W, K, HR Allowed, Whip, ERA, S.

    I’m keeping GianCarlo, Longoria, Greinke, Hanley…then I get stuck.

    I need to choose two of the following:

    Yu Darvish, Jacoby Ellsbury, Billy Butler, Matt Moore, Kris Medlen

    My initial thoughts are Butler, Darvish as I’m from the weird world of people who believe Yu Darvish will cut down his BB rate this year and contend for the Cy Young (thanks Keith Law).

    What are your thoughts Pee-on GreyJoy?

  17. mikey boy324 says:
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    Grey who should I keep Medlen or Morrow?

  18. Jon says:
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    My 1B is AGon and I need a 3B, CI and possibly a DH from this group: Zimm, Lawrie, Ike, Hosmer, Pablo, Frazier. Ideally that is…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jon: Zimm

  19. Steve G says:
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    Grey,
    Any chance you can make all of these rankings in to a printable draft kit or at least provide a printable version of the rankings that are a bit more consolidated.? It would be awesome. Thank you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steve G: It’s coming tomorrow…

      • Steve G says:
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        @Grey: Thank you!!!

      • beardcrabs says:
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        we are very spoiled…

  20. Hotrod says:
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    My solid keepers are J-Upside, Strasburrg, Jennings & Lawrie…

    In my league, 14 team, we can keep 4-6, so I got the 4 above locked in. I can keep two more if I want out of the 3 below. Which 2?

    Machado
    Hosmer
    Moustakas

    Or…should I just keep the 4 and, and hop to get better players??? In theory, 14 teams x 6 = 84 players kept if everyone keeps 6, nonone of my options are in the top 100 so I should be getting a better return that way???

    Thoughts?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Hotrod: Machado, Hosmer

      • Hotrod says:
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        @Grey: So in my position, you would keep those two, as essentially my 5th & 6th round draft picks?? My picks in those rounds are #61 and #74 overall…or should I roll the dice and see who else is available? I could always redraft them maybe…there is no limit on how long we can keep keepers. Thanks for your input.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Roll dice…

        • Jay29 says:
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          @Hotrod: You should try to make an educated guess on what will be available then. But since only 84 can be kept, you ought to get better talent than Machado and Moustakas. Personally I think Hosmer is worth keeping — I think he was a BABIP victim last year — but maybe he’s still underrated to the point where you could re-draft him…

  21. Sky

    Sky says:
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    The Hollywood Squares bit is comedic genius, if I do say so myself.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Sky: Why do I feel like Bob Hope?

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        @Grey: You feel like you’ve been dead for 10 years and not funny even when you were alive?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Thanks for the memories!

  22. Jon says:
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    Would you be concerned about pairing B.J. Upton with Desmond Jennings for BA reasons? You don’t have Jennings projected as 250 or lower, but it’s certainly a reasonable possibility for him.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jon: Yup

  23. Now “Pescetarian”!!! Put that together with Razzbonics and hardly a SP in your top 50…

    You must live in some hardcore Yuppie cult compound in or near a mid-sized US city.. One that longs for a MLB team nearer to it…

    Maybe even in the Midwest somewhere???…

    WAIT!!!

    Let me put a couple questions to you – before, I put on my Tommy Lasorda swami hat on and Windex off my crystal ball to conjure up an answer here…

    Are you currently or have you ever been or have you ever received training as a Scientologist???

    Do you perceive yourself as an epicurean or at least someone deserving of that type of lifestyle – An “Arrived” Trader Joe’s/ Whole Pay Check shopper, who parks his sporty SUV backwards – front facing out – ignoring the lines – in or near shopping mall parking stalls as a style statement???

    Did you ever work for an US National Security Agency as deep abstract collating detailer or code breaking analyst..

    Do you collect Hummel figurines and attend their regional swap meets???

    Do you post in the nude???

    That ought to be enough… Now, give me your hands and be quiet please…

    OOOOOMMMMM!!!! Hocus Pocus!!! Abra Kadabra!!! Coriander Pesto!!!

    Akron, Ohio or Toledo, Ohio ….. HHHHHmmmmmm???? No!!!

    Rochester NY!!!! That’s it!!! Isn’t it, Mr. Grey..

    Pretty impressive!!! HUH???

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @t moore: No…Yes…No…Maybe…Hmm…Yes!…No…Yes!

      • @Grey:

        Seriously, I was surprised how deep you went before listing really spotting the SP…

        But, these lists are individual strategic mindset lists after all is said and done…

        I do applaud you for sticking with your body of work this spring in compiling this list…

        I will follow my own path at draft though… Wrong or right!!!… But, that is not to say, I have not learned a lot and altered my outlooks by following your stuff this spring…

        Thanks and keep’m coming..

        Is there a “working list” that has your projections without the fun text on it???

        Hopefully, that has CAT specific/isolating tool capabilities – a spreadsheet???

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, the “working list” is coming tomorrow…

          • Jay29 says:
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            @Grey: Every morning you must turn on the ol’ computer thinking “I wonder what wacky stuff t-moore is gonna throw at me today….”