Please see our player page for Jason Heyward to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Ian Anderson (2 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.31) pitches like Jethro Tull singing, “Hello, darkness, my old friend.” Uh-oh, we’re being visited by Comatose Since March Man. This is gonna be brutal. Hey, Comatose Since March Man, how ya feeling? “Great, man! You ever sleep for four months? That’s what I feel like! Anyway, let’s talk about my fantasy baseball team! Ian Anderson is building on his 2021 season and is now an ace, right? Right?! Why are you tiptoeing backwards?” Seriously, though, how long until the Braves put Ian Anderson out to pasture with Touki, Ynoa and every other pitcher who they have that’s good for one season? Soon! Okay, the highlights, not the lowlights:  Nick Castellanos (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 8th homer. “Hey, we could just put the car in neutral and roll it off a cliff with him in the driver’s seat–Whoa! Hold on! He moved! Castellanos is alive!” This was Castellanos’s first, and only as it turned out, homer in June, and he was hitting .212 entering yesterday’s game with five runs. Apizzarently, he’s become the Greek God of Hardly Any Contact. Then, Kyle Schwarber (1-for-4, 3 RBIs) said farewell to June with his 23rd homer. Someone please Back to the Future Schwarber with a Walkman in the middle of the night and tell him June is another 60 days long. Next up, or I should say nextus is Rhysus, the Philly savior, (1-for-3, 2 runs) hit his 15th and 2nd in as many games. Finally, the one true DH on a team filled with them, Darick Hall (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) got his 1st and 2nd homer on his first and second hits. When the Philly and Yacht Rock legend, Darick Hall, hits a homer, they better be playing She’s Gone. He will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, and he’s solid for power, but I’m not sure how much else. Sorry, Charlie, for the imposition… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Atlanta Braves’ rookie flamethrower-slash-hotshot-slash-heartthrob, Spencer Strider turned in his best outing of the year Friday night, pitching five and 2/3 innings, allowing just five baserunners and punching out eight Pirates en route to his second win. Spencer finally hitting his Stride-er! He lowered his ratios to a real nice 2.35 ERA and 1.12 WHIP with the start and his 57/19 K/BB in just 38.1 innings was the exact same number I had on the vision board I made for my positive affirmations class. You just can’t find that kind of strikeout potential on the waiver wire, over-the-internet friends. He’s got a 36.8 K% and a 13.38 K/9. Mhmm. Oh my, is it hot in here? I need to calm myself down, I’m getting excited. *bites knuckles, does ice bucket challenge, thinks about baseball players* Wait! No to that last one! Spence, can I call you, Spence? No? OK, Spencer’s biggest knock is that he’s currently being stretched out after serving in somewhat of a long relief role, so he may not pitch deep enough into games initially to get you those sweet dubs, but Braves manager Snitker seems to be ramping him up quick. He threw 72 pitches in his first start, followed by 87 last week and 92 Friday night. That’s progress, y’all! The five and 2/3 innings was the longest outing of his young career, and even though it was the lowly Bucs, he produced a swinging strike rate of 34%. That’s 18 swings and misses, 11 of those on his stinky, stinky cheese, which topped out at 100+ mph multiple times. Yup, guy’s got gas to spare during a nationwide shortage. Basically, Braves have been ramping him up and he’s taking it in Stride-er. Sure, he’s had some cushy matchups so far with Arizona, Colorado and Pittsburgh, but he gets another juicy one next week versus the Nats. If you are looking to buy unfunny gag gifts, fart pills, embarrassing sex toys or lava lamps, I’d check out Spencer’s Gifts, but if you need starting pitching help with massive strikeout upside on a team that can’t seem to lose right now, I’d buy Spencer Strider. Maybe buy the fart pills, too, those sound fun. Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve done it! We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings for 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. Give yourself a big round of applause. I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do? Oh, yeah, you read them. No wonder why your hands can still clap. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can one start change a guy’s perception for 2022 fantasy? Yesterday, Sandy Alcantara (9 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 14 Ks, ERA at 3.24) made that case. If that was it, against a subpar offensive team like the Mets, I’d say, “Yawn, my good chap, let’s see it vs. someone who we think is good.” How’sever, that wasn’t it. Dot dot dot. It was how it was done. It was done with overwhelming nast. Not nasty, but overwhelming nast. Nast: the act of saying “nasty” but unable to finish because the pitches are hitting the catcher’s mitt before there’s time. In the 8th inning and on pitch 99, it was a 101.5 MPH beebee. Not a BB as in a ball, but a ground out to short. 9th inning? Oh, yeah, back out and hitting triple digits on pitch number 102, touching 101.2. Pitch number 110 and he hit 100.3 MPH. Pitch 112? Still 100.3 — miles per hour, not Z100. Then a 93.5 MPH slider and goodbye Conforto, who homered earlier in the night. This was as dominant a start as I saw in April, forget September as Alcantara hits 180 2/3 IP on the year. Next year, we’re going to see a lot of pitchers still struggle with innings, due to how funky last year was. Sandy Alcantara in 2022 will be one of maybe five starters you can pencil for 200+ IP, and a 3.00 ERA with upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Salvador Perez hit his 41st homer. Today, you get a Salvador Appreciation Post, or SAP. You might be asking yourself the same as every Y! Answers when you google SAP, “How do I turn SAP off?” You can’t turn it off. It’s going into your eyeballs and, with each passing word, it becomes harder to turn back. If you remove all pitchers, the top home run hitter in the major leagues is Salvador Perez, a catcher. What a year for fantasy, is what I say right before I wander into traffic wearing nothing but a potato sack. “If you remove all pitchers, the top home run hitter in the major leagues is…” is the funniest thing that’s ever graced this site. That a catcher is the next best home run hitter is just a cherry on top of this season. “Wow, I can’t believe I can draft Cody Bellinger in the 2nd round this year,” that’s what the apparition floating next to me keeps saying, because I’m haunted. Salvador Perez is in one of those situations that I thought would benefit Juan Soto too. There’s no one in that lineup with Perez, so why not pitch to him? The only difference between Soto and Perez is about .440 OBP or 90-ish walks. If you knew someone like, say, Perez would swing at anything, wouldn’t you throw him nothing but junk in the dirt? For Sal Perez to hit 41 homers, he should’ve only saw 41 strikes all year. Alas, no one wants to tangle with Benintendi, apparently. For 2022, I continue to cackle in a jar and seal it quickly like it’s a lightning bug. Only I plan on releasing those cackles in 2022 when someone drafts Salvador Perez in the top 25 overall next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Huascar Ynoa fractured his hand and he will be out for a couple of months. He hurt himself when he punched a bench. I wonder if he exclaimed, “Sonavabench!” How now Kevin Brown. Blergh, I’m a big dummy, my name is Huascar Ynoa. By the way, the title refers to Madagascar, the island nation that accounts for 80% of the world’s natural vanilla. The other 20% is Larry Bird, Tom Arnold and Tim Allen. Ynoa’s tanked so fast after my Friday Sell, that I didn’t even get a chance to bust out my pronunciation of Ynoa so it rhymes with quinoa. Bye-bye, Yeewah, was nice Ynoa’ing ya. Starting tomorrow in Ynoa’s stead will be Tucker Davidson, who sounds like a game show host. Tucker, show them what they won…A mid-90s MPH fastball that he throws 75% of the time? That can’t be right. Looks like he’s got a wipeout curve, and is seen as a middle reliever long term, but for now he’s a streamer, though Ynoa anyone can surprise. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve done it! We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings for 2021 fantasy baseball rankings. Give yourself a big round of applause. I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do? Oh, yeah, you read them. No wonder why your hands can still clap. Wait a second, I’m doing a utility-only hitter ranking this year. This isn’t the end of the hitter rankings. Feeling woozy, need to sit down. Okay, let’s get to it because this post is like 5,000 words long and I wrote it with my toes. C’mon, pinkie toe, push down the shift key! So, here’s Steamer’s 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

April 5, 2010. 20-year-old Jason Heyward catches the ceremonial first pitch from Hank Aaron, then comes to the plate against Carlos Zambrano in the bottom of the first, with two on, one out, and the scored tied at three a piece. KABOOOM! A laser bombed into the back of the bullpen beyond the right field fence. It. Was. On. We were all witnesses to the genesis of the next great superstar career. How could he fail? His rise through the minor league system was as quick as my lovemaking. He was rated as the top prospect in the game, and his rookie season was a phenomenal success (.277/.393/.456 with 18 HR and 11 SB). But then the dreaded sophomore slump happened, but he rose like a phoenix in year three. Only to roll over and embark upon years of mediocrity. With that said, he was left for dead many of times, only to bounce back, like his brother from another mother, Jason Voorhees. So far in 2020, Heyward is batting .299/.411/.563 with 5 HR and 1 SB. Is this for real?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trevor Rosenthal and Mitch Moreland were traded to the Padres. Here’s what the Padres are saying to the major leagues: We are your father. Going the other way was Edward Olivares, and some prospects. The hug at the airport when Franchy Cordero sees Edward Olivares will be priceless. “What kind of things are there to do in Kansas City?” “Do you like jazz?” “I thought people just said they like jazz, but no one actually likes jazz.” “True.” Then after a brief pause, “Do the Royals let you play?” “Nah, they have Alex Gordon.” As for Rosenthal, he goes to a place with no set closer, and they will win some games. Rosenthal could be a top 10 closer the rest of the way, or he blows up his 1st game, and Drew Pomeranz is the closer again, or Emilio Pagan. For now, I’d put Rosenthal, Pomeranz then Pagan, as the pecking order. In KC, I’d look at Greg Holland, Scott Barlow or Josh Staumont, that order, but with limited chances. Oh, and Jesse Hahn, who got the save on Saturday, is there and he had an affair with Reverend Jim Bakker. Finally, Mitch Moreland, well, nothing really changes for him, or the main Padres hitters. The DH gave the Padres more room to play with, and they got Moreland. He can hit it out of any stadium, and he enters a better lineup. Did I just say the Padres’ lineup is better than a Red Sox lineup? Yup, welcome to 2020 and back from your coma! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?