You thought every team having a Luis Garcia was confusing? You rued the day you ever learned there was a Trevor Megill and a Tylor Megill? You thought they were joking when they said there was another Max Muncy? You’re in a Holds league and get the shakes every time you see T. Rogers? You still have a headache from the time you drafted Ryan Braun, the reliever? Well, do I have a surprise for you! For a limited time only, we have two Logan Allens! It could be worse, they were both on the Guardians! Now, there’s one on the Rockies and one on the Guardians. That makes things easier because you’d never want a pitcher on the Rockies, so you only have to look at the team name and remember, “No Rockies pitchers ever.” So, why do we care? Well, outside of AL-Only leagues, we may not. Logan Allen (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks) has a starting job right now, but Triston McKenzie and Aaron Civale could return at some point (in theory), and Hunter Gaddis is stretched out and might get another look. Since the “why do we care” became “why should we not care,” here’s an answer to the caring part: He consistently has a 11+ K/9 in the minors. Itch’s said, “A great athlete with plus balance and command who repeats his delivery with ease, Allen fits the Cleveland mold for pitchers who exceed their on-paper projections. He’s not an ideal candidate to add velocity at 6’0” 190 lbs, but Cleveland tends to find a way, not that Allen has needed more than his low-90’s fastball, plus changeup and average curveball to this point, and I’d like to stick Grey with a sharp point.” C’mon, man! Itch’s “Cleveland tends to find a way” is why I’m interested in deeper mixed leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Josh Bell – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. It’s super early, but Bell has a near-65% ground ball rate. The guys at carnivals trying to hit a bell have a better Launch Angle.
Sandy Alcantara – Missed his Saturday start because of biceps tendinitis. He expects to be ready for his next start vs. the Braves. If you start him whistling and carefree, you might have larger pants grapes than brains.
Braxton Garrett – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.84. Ya know how I keep saying Braves have a good 5th starter each year, only it’s not clear who it is, going Touki to Anderson to Wright to Elder? Braxton is this year’s Trevor Rogers.
Avisail Garcia – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .164. As someone who has Avisail in a few leagues, it says there that he has two homers, but I think this was Avisail’s first hit of the season, he’s been so bad.
Alek Manoah – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.13. Sonavabench! Are you kidding me? Why can’t guys get back on track in starts I’d actually consider starting them in? Is that too much to ask, I say to my reflection in a mirror on the back of the Titanic.
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .341. Hey, batter, batter, swing Cake Batter!
Daulton Varsho – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer, hitting .224. It’s early so I don’t want to say anything I’m going to regret, but drafting a catcher high has never, ever worked in history.
Anthony Rizzo – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer. HR to the Izzo!
Dustin May – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.07. You ever see his carrot top and think, “I sure hope no giant bunnies ever attack him?” No? Hmm, maybe it’s me.
Max Muncy – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, as he leads the majors in homers. Because I like to make my eyes bleed, I went back and took a look at some early April comments about Muncy. “Grey, handsome face you got, but could I ask you, Muncy or Meneses? Who you got?”
Mookie Betts – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Mookie Best!
J.D. Martinez – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .250. If Just Dong gets to 20 homers, I’d look at it as a victory. 20 homers from someone who does nothing else isn’t a huge fantasy victory.
Hayden Wesneski – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 6.23. I’m about that sweet, sweet upside, but, at a certain point, you gotta consider if maybe a guy just isn’t quite ready yet to be started in a fantasy league.
Marcus Stroman – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.17. Regression Fairies don’t wear white until Memorial Day and they will destroy your ratios.
Yan Gomes – 2-for-4, and his 4th homer, hitting .255. Yan can homer!
Francisco Alvarez – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. Quick! Bench him for Nido!
Joc Pederson – 1-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department said, “I lost fifteen pounds and no one noticed. That’s the last time I give myself dysentery.”
Thairo Estrada – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 4th homer, hitting .329, as he hits 6th with, let’s see, roughly five hitters above him who are worse.
Lucas Giolito – 7 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.50. Not saying xFIP is everything, or that anyone is in a league with that stat, but Giolito’s xFIP is 4.68; his worst in five years.
Harold Ramirez – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. Hot schmotato alert!
Rich Hill – 5 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.85. Dick Mountain was a Streamonator call in my Friday Buy column. Fun fact! Dick Mountain sounds like the exact opposite of wherever they’re stranded in Yellowjackets.
Kyle Gibson – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.60. Was also a Streamonator call in my Friday Buy column, and, for his next start, the Streamonator is like, “What do you want me to tell you? He’s getting incredible matchups in April.”
Grayson Rodriguez – 5 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 5.12. *reading a 23 and Me report* “Looks like this guy is 51% Gray. So, he must be a star.” “Uh, you’re reading the certificate that says you paid to name a star, Grey.”
Javier Baez – Sat out with an injured middle finger. I bet he could find a fantasy owner of his to give him a middle finger.
Eduardo Rodriguez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.32. Damn, I just went to look at his stats, hoping to be blown away, and I was left kinda yawnstipated. He’s not pitching poorly, but he’s been about as good as ideal Merrill Kelly or Miles Mikolas, instead of a number one or two. A W. Ed-Rod is better than an L. Ed-Rod, and worth rostering in most leagues, but he’s not pitching nearly close to his ace-type ERA.
Drey Jameson – 1 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.71, and his next start is in Coors? I don’t have a Dreamcatcher big enough to start Drey until I see something better.
Jake McCarthy – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer, hitting .150. We are so back! Voice whispering, “Are we back?” Shut up, Whispering Voice!
Matt Carpenter – 3-for-3, 5 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .238. Drafted Carpenter? Nailed it!
Masataka Yoshida – 2-for-4, 6 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer, hitting .231. Please get hot, please.
Corbin Burnes – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.55. Only three walks, but that tells a partial story as he just didn’t look right. Not sure if it’s the pectoral, or something else, but, yeah, I guess hope for better or figure out an escape plan.
Brian Anderson – 2-for-3 and his 4th and 5th homer. Oh, wow, it’s the guy who was the biggest breakout of the season five days into the season who hasn’t done anything in the last two weeks. Maybe BA Brokeass just happens to get hot vs. be a new hitter.
Bailey Ober – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, as he was recalled. He could be the third best starter in the Twins’ rotation. Wrote a sleeper post for him last year. Love him. So, what’s the difference between Logan Allen and Bailey Ober? I think Allen might have a bit of a better opportunity to keep a starting job. If Ober hasn’t been sent down already, it’s only because they’re not sure if Maeda is healthy.
Jorge Polanco – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. He hit that way up the foul pole in an encouraging blast, if he wasn’t facing one of the worst pitchers in the league, who is only getting $24 mill this year.
Bryan Abreu – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 0.73, and his 2nd save in as many games. Is a seemingly healthy Ryan Pressly possibly losing his job? Is Kim Possible and Ryan Pressly dating and TMZ has labeled them, the Pressibilities? None of these things can be true! I was told you had to draft a top closer, because they were safe. You don’t remember some ‘perts telling you that? Ah, oh well. Just ignore it, as they will, as they pretend they never said it. I bid on Abreu in every league in weekly FAAB yesterday, and have rostered him all year in my RCL, because he’s just good.
Andrew Heaney – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.34. Heaney was buoyed by a three-homer night from Adolis and Mr. Salami’s endorsement in the video at the top of the page.
Shea Langeliers – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .234. He has twice as many homers as Varsho, and was drafted about 550 spots later but, ya know, whatever.
MJ Melendez – 1-for-2 and his 2nd homer, hitting .178, but left with with back tightness. MJ said he could’ve played through if he had the flu.
Vinnie Pasquantino – 2-for-4 and his 4th homer. Hey, yo, Vinnie Pasketti, every time you hit it out, an opposing team’s fan throws it back in!
Bobby Witt Jr. – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .256. Not taking an L yet on my schmohawk post, but Witt’s strikeout rate this year is encouraging.
Jose Quijada – Secured the save on Friday. *Fist pump* Blew the save on Saturday in spectacular fashion (2/3 IP, 5 ER). *Fist pump punching self in head* I still think Carlos Estevez (1 IP, 0 ER ERA at 1.80, and Sunday’s save) gets the most saves here, but it might be a 50/50 split, and Phil Nevin is a large-scale idiot, so you never know.
Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, as the Angels went back-to-back-to-back with Mike Trout (3-for-4, 5th homer) and Taylor Ward (1-for-3, 2 runs, 3rd homer). Keep telling myself I needed that Friday start more from Ohtani.
Logan O’Hoppe – Out for six months with a torn labrum. O’hellomattthaiss. In one league, I went from O’Hoppe to McCann, which is appropriately a real kick in the ass.
Nolan Gorman – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .313. Also, in this game, Jarred Kelenic (1-for-4, hitting .319) hit his 6th homer. Funny how expectations change things. People are running around powered on the back of the Kelenic break-through, and elsewhere people are like, “Should I pick up Gorman?” Gorman’s hitting third, and looks like he’s doing what we were hoping from Jordan Walker. By the way, Walker can still do what we were expecting. This isn’t a reason to ask to drop Walker.
Lars Nootbaar – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 2nd homer. Hey, the sign behind home says, No Pepper Games, what gives, Nootbaar?
Paul DeJong – 3-for-4 and his 1st homer, as he was activated. Colonel Mustard in the bathroom with the plunger!
Jack Flaherty – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.29. His stats are batshizz crazy. A 6.3 BB/9 crazy. They’re also more encouraging than they’ve been in years. He’s doing it mostly with his slider, and it’s eliciting a ton of swings and misses. Would be irresponsible to say a guy with that bad of a walk rate is worth picking up but you can monocle.
Brenton Doyle – Being called up by the Rockies. He’s guaranteed everyday at-bats in the year 2037. He’s a big guy with power and speed, and might hit .230 and won’t play. I will revisit if Bud Black shocks me by playing him (he won’t).
Trea Turner – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer, hitting .293. Treat Urner with the nomnomnomnom.
Bryson Stott – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .340. Stott’s entertainment!
Brandon Marsh – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .364. Marsh homered within minutes of it being announced that O’Hoppe would be out for the season. The same O’Hoppe that Marsh was traded for. Either there is no God, or the universe just hates the Angels, or those are the same things.
Kody Clemens – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. “Did you just clap or klap?” Roger Clemens questioning his other sons, Kbob, Kjason and Kkevin.