Shh…That was what I was saying yesterday. I was like a librarian with my index finger pressed to my collagen-filled lips. I was lowering the shades of my house hoping no one passing by would see how well Luis Severino was pitching. My phone rang; it was a telemarketer, and I talked to them for 45 minutes because I knew if they were talking to me, then they couldn’t be watching Luis Severino and getting excited for him for 2023 fantasy. One less person who’s going to be get all Jazzy Jeff’d for Luis Severino. I don’t need people seeing that! Yesterday, Luis Severino went 7 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 1 walk, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.18, as he was throwing speedballs by everyone, just peppering 98 to 100 MPH fastballs into the 7th inning, like it was nothing. For 2023 fantasy, Luis Severino will be going around the number three fantasy starters, and be on my short list for guys who can be an ace. I’m already thinking about the Luis Severino sleeper. I wrote a Jordan Montgomery sleeper last year, so being on the Yankees won’t preclude that possibility. Severino’s going to get all that 2023 shine! Now, that you’ve read this, set fire to your computer so no one else can read this and know how good Severino was yesterday. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Rich Hill to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Hey, let me ask you something, are we shipping Roger Maris Jr. and Aaron Judge‘s mom? What? Why are you booing me? Okay, serious-serious question, how many changes of clothes does Roger Maris Jr. have with him in Toronto? Okay, serious-serious-serious question, isn’t Roger Maris Jr. actually just Roger Maris but with an asterisk? Stop throwing tomatoes at me! I can’t use all my Roger Maris Jr. material anywhere else. So, Aaron Judge (1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit 61, becoming, what, the seventh most prolific home run hitter in a season? Honestly, when you really stop to think about what Barry Bonds did, it’s truly remarkable. I don’t care if he was sticking Babe Ruth’s DNA in his butt and Ted Williams’s DNA in his male sack, it’s freakin’ impressive! Aaron Judge? Also, incredibly impressive. I’m not going to lie, when I hear stuff like, “He becomes the first player to have 130 runs and 130 RBIs in the same season since 2007,” and how he’s almost 20 homers higher than anyone else in the majors, I get extreme FOMO for any teams of mine that don’t have him. His 60/20/.315 with 130/130 might be the best fantasy season any of us witness. Or at least until Barry Bonds returns at the age of 58 with Hack Wilson’s DNA in his arm, Ruth’s in his butt and Williams’s in his sack. Let’s go! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“With that trade, the Giants will now be seeing if they can turn a Harry Styles Chia Pet into a halfway decent 2nd baseman. We just now he’s not gonna wanna ride the pine!” Announcers laugh, but, before they can finish, the Harry Styles Chia Pet slaps a ball over the fence for a three-run shot. “I’ll tell ya what, Jon, that Harry Styles Chia Pet has got some pop!” Okay, so Lewis Brinson (1-for-4 and his 3rd homer, and 3rd homer in two games) isn’t quite turning a Chia Pet into a major league All-Star, but it’s not that far off. As Jesse would scream in Breaking Bad, “The Giants can’t keep getting away with this!” ‘This’ being turning cast-offs from other teams into bona fide major leaguers. Of course, Giants turning Lewis Brinson into something would be their “making the Statue of Liberty disappear” of player reclamations, but they did it with Wilmer Flores, J.D. Davis…They got someone named B. Johnson in right field, and I half expect it to be Boris Johnson, after losing 10 Downing. Do I think Lewis Brinson is fixed for 2023 fantasy? I’m not sure he’s fixed for this week! but he’s clearly hot and show be rostered until further notice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just yesterday, Prospect Itch featured Corbin Carroll as the number one prospect to stash, and now he’s called up. Maybe Itch can make things happen with his words, which is why I’m worried when he talks about locking me in the trunk of a car and driving me into the desert. Also, driving into the desert is Corbin Carroll! Hashtag nailed it! He’s not looking for holes though, and he’s got no holes in his swing. He was also number one on Itch’s Top 25 for Dynasty Leagues. I don’t know if Gunnar Henderson is called up this year, my guess is no, but I wasn’t sure on Corbin Carroll either. I did give you a buy on him about six weeks ago, where I said, “Corbin Carroll has to be on the short list of 2023 ROY candidates if he stays down. Yeah, yeah, keyword: Short. Hardy har har! You tall guys think you’re so cool! ‘Hey, look at me, I can get cereal down without standing on a chair!’ Aren’t you fantastic?! Sounding like an alien who is just discovering old HBO shows, Corbin Carroll is under six feet. Much like Mookie Betts with both power, speed and average. He is the total package like Paul Orndorff.” And that’s me quoting me! I grabbed him in my shallowest league, and I would grab him in any league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, the Trent Grisham/Luis Urias trade is still being sorted it seems. If you’re the Brewers and Padres, do you think you won or lost the Urias/Grisham trade? Or do you think it’s a push and decide to go back to the well like Baby Jessica and try one more? How you answer that decides whether or not you make the Josh Hader trade, right? Since that Hader trade was made, it must mean both teams thought they won the Grisham/Urias one. Right? You don’t trade with a team that just fed you an L, do you? Well, I’m here to say the Brewers won that trade, and I think they won this trade too, but I’m a big fan of trading away closers, so I am biased. Yes, even top tier ones. With that said, I do think it’s odd the Brewers made this trade — appearing like sellers — as they are leading the NL Central.
The trade in full: Josh Hader to the Padres for Taylor Rogers, Robert Gasser, Esteury Ruiz, and Dinelson Lamet. Do the Brewers just have such a “We can fix him” mentality they just have to take on messes? Oh man, the Brewers are Kate Hudson. That makes Taylor Rogers Matthew McConaughey; Dinelson Lamet is Paul Rudd and Esteury Ruiz is John Krasinski. What an All-Star cast of lovable losers that the Brewers, excuse me, Kate Hudson, er, I mean, Brewers need to fix! Looking at this from the other side, is the move from Taylor Rogers to Josh Hader worth the multiple players being sent away? Who’s the buyer here? Who’s the seller? Who’s the Boss!? Kinda like the Josh Hader trade because if you look at it at first, you’re like, “Brewers got hosed,” but then you look at it more and you’re like, “Padres got hosed,” but then look at it more and you’re like, “No, the Brewers definitely were hosed.” The Josh Hader trade is the Mona Lisa smile of trades.
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 1, 2022
So, Josh Hader is clearly the new closer in San Diego. Truly hope Devin Williams gets a chance to be the Brewers’ closer, but it’s been floated that the Brewers might like him in setup and roll Taylor Rogers out there for saves. Floated by whom? Me, right now, in these last few sentences. As for Esteury Ruiz, he was sent down, and Lamet is likely to be used in a similar role as in San Diego, for now, at least. Unless Kate Hudson can work her magic! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hola Razzamigos! Welcome to your Razzball weekly fantasy baseball injury report. First, please ensure you buckle your safety belts, secure your tray table in the upright position, and read the safety pamphlet in the seat pocket in front of you. Second, I have traditionally added intra-team roster transactions and/or replacements for injured folks. I am […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
At least one of you is reading this with a bandaged thumb from a fireworks mishap. I had a Cousin Pete (Italian side of the family) who lost the tip of his thumb on the 4th, but rather than stop the festivities, he taped the tip of a hot dog on his thumb to act as a tourniquet for the rest of the 4th, so we could all go about our fun-having business. I suggested my cousin make a PSA about hot dog tourniquets, but I was turned away by NBC Cares. Let us bow our heads and pray that if anyone loses a piece of their finger, may there be a proper-sized hot dog nearby. Yesterday, the floodgates opened with the strikeouts from Framber Valdez (6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.67) that no hot dog tourniquet could stop. Heading into the 4th of July and I am saluting The Astros SPangled Banner. Between Verlander, Javier, Luis Garcia and Framber just draft all Astros SPs, and sit back and enjoy the fireworKs. But have some cocktail weenies nearby, just in case. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bryce Harper (1-for-4, 2 runs) and Kyle Schwarber (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 17th and 18th homer), stand behind home plate watching Harper’s dad throw batting practice. Schwarber walks out and stops Harp’s dad, “Thanks, but I think I’m gonna use the other guy for the Home Run Derby.” Schwarber points to Patrick Corbin. What’s the opposite of June gloom? Kyle Schwarber’s got that. Kyle Schwarber is the first Phillies hitter with 18 homers in the team’s first 64 games since Domonic Brown in 2013. Shoutout to Tehol! By the by, if you weren’t around last November during the offseason, our writer (?) Tehol was on the Bachelorette. I’m not joking:
One of our Razzball writers is on this season of The Bachelorette — which guy? The one not wearing pants pic.twitter.com/I8COMDuE2z
— Razzball (@Razzball) October 19, 2021
Any hoo! Anyone that can remember Schwarber’s last June knows he loves hitting in June and in Nationals Park. He had 16 homers last June, then burned out almost as quickly. Someone remind me to trade for Schwarber on May 31st and trade him away on July 1st. Yo, Schwarber save some for after the summer solstice. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week was one of the best articles I’ve ever had regarding results. Cal Quantrill, Hunter Greene, Taijuan Walker, Edward Cabrera, Tommy Pham, Josh Rojas, Joey Gallo, Alejandro Kirk, and Luke Voit all did well, and it’s rare to hit on almost all of my recommendations. Getting Joey Gallo right was one of my proudest […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
For It’s looking like a quiet week in FAAB as we head into the weekend. The player who will likely draw the most attention is Gabriel Moreno. There are plenty of solid streaming options though. The Guardians, Rockies, Padres, Nationals and Phillies have favorable schedules if you are in need of a bat to stream. […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
A sheet attached to a building is covering something in front of the Sears sign on a storefront. The closer we look we see I’m standing on the letter S of Sears. I wave like Forrest Gump. Screaming now, “Okay, when I jump, make sure you film this reveal, because it’s going to be spectacular! …and 1…2…3!” Holding onto the end of the sheet, I jump off the S and Tarzan down the side of the building. Then, the sheet gets to its natural conclusion and, rather than revealing under the sheet the big surprise, it leaves me dangling ten feet off the ground. “Um, a little help.” Cougs puts down the camera and yanks on my feet, and I scream, “Yanks! Perfect!” I fall to the ground, and the sheet covers me, but now it’s revealed that the sheet was covering a spraypainted JP in front of Sears. So, JP Sears (5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks) had his major league debut. It was vs. the Orioles, so the salt is out to count grains, but he looked fantastic. He has a 93-95 MPH fastball, decent slider and change, and elite command. That’s the JP Sears catalog of pitches. Yanks also have five starters in the rotation, so, with those going out of business sales on Sears, don’t expect refunds. Whether he stays in the rotation or not, he’s someone to keep an eye on, because elite command plays everywhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Do you hear the siren? Do you see me on a unicycle riding close behind it? That’s because it is time for your Razzball weekly fantasy baseball injury report! EDITOR’S NOTE: Wait…can Keelin ride a unicycle? A true renaissance woman! I wanted to pop in and mention some injuries that cropped up late Friday so […]Please, blog, may I have some more?