Marlins have been rebuilding since the early 2000’s, but there was never a real feeling that they were trying. I can’t remember a time the Reds haven’t been rebuilding. But the Orioles? They’ve been rebuilding for what, 15 years? Okay, but they were supposed to be done rebuilding! They were sniffing glue on their prospects being great too. They had everyone sniffing that glue! Few organizations frustrate me more. They even brought in a new owner who supposedly was Daddy Warbucks. Wha’ happened? This was supposed to be a Core Four situation, and I think it was three, five or six prospects that were the future of the O’s franchise, but four rhymes with core. Then they trade the core core of their core four that was either three or five or six in Adley Rutschman. You know I’m not a huge fan for fantasy — he’s a 17-20/.250 hitter, it’s fine — and Fenway will help him. It’s a nice landing spot for him. The Orioles also sent away Taylor Ward, traded him to the Mariners. Never seemed comfortable in Baltimore, maybe because he wasn’t a top prospect who disappointed. Do I think this means the Mariners will continue to play Canzone and not Robles? I wish, man. Man, do I wish. M’s hate the underrated Canzone. Can’t get in his zone because you never play him! Ward’s lack of power this year (think it’s injury related) is not going to be helped by the move to Seattle. As for the Orioles, don’t worry, I hear their prospects return was great!
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jake Rogers – Traded to the Red Sox. Rogers was an Adley stipulation because he likes walruses.
Eli White – Traded to the Red Sox. The dentist from the Marathon Man is on the move.
Erik Miller – Traded to the Red Sox. Really like what the Red Sox did this deadline.
Luis Arraez – Traded to the Phillies with Caleb Kilian. Alec Bohm’s mom would like to welcome you to team, please give her your social security number and mother’s maiden name. Arraez is like Skubal of hitters. Not that he’s great (outside of average), but he’s unfazed by park change. He’s a 150-foot drooper over the 2nd baseman’s head. He’s that wherever he plays. Phils have said this moves Bryce Harper to the outfield, and closer to the front office where he can yell at Dave Dombrowski.
Brooks Raley – Traded to the Phillies. Mets are trading with the hated Phils? That was one thing they could always do, hate on the Phils! Oh, the Mets really are just a front for a stadium-adjacent casino. Raley’s role doesn’t change; maybe he moves up to the 8th inning setup vs. 7th.
Derek Hill – 1-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer, a grand slam, hitting .242. He’s a platoon outfielder, or maybe he can wear Harper’s jersey, and play defense for him.
Abimelec Ortiz – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer as he was called up. Welp, I dropped Brett Baty for him in an NL-Only. or tried to, might not have won him in waivers. He’s the Nats newest 1st baseman vs. righties with LuGaJu gone.
Daylen Lile – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. Lile’s third homer in a week. Lile’s lil’ hot.
James Wood – Headed for an MRI on his left side. We need a prayer hexagon immediately.
Jo Adell – Traded to the Guards. Angels heard there might not be a 2027 season, so they thought, “We don’t need a team.” Really hope Guards can unlock Adell for always, and I think he can be! He took some legitimate steps backwards this year, though. It’s not all bad luck or Angels-related. His walk rate bottomed out, his exit velo is down and he’s making some bad contact. I do like him, and why I said to buy in the 2nd half. It’s a better park, and hopefully he can be more of a home run hitter vs. home run robber. Angels got back Jacob Cozart. Angels had so much success with Zack Cozart, they wanted to run it back.
Foster Griffin – Traded to the Guards. You know I’m a fan. Been loving Foster’s stuff since they do Dairy Queen without the flipping of the ice cream. Stop showboating, Dairy Queen! Just hand it to me! Nah, I really do like Foster Griffin, this is a solid upgrade for his value. He keeps the ball down and allows very few walks.
Nathaniel Lowe – Traded to the Guards. What? No! No! No! That’s supposed to be Josh Bell! Every trade deadline it’s Josh Bell! 1st baseman who seems okay, then sucks ass on his new team? That’s Josh Bell’s music! This move sent Kyle Manzardo to the minors, which seems incredibly dumb.
Keaton Winn – With Kilian and Miller gone, I guess Winn is the Giants’ closer. I have maybe 2% confidence in that, and I don’t think he’s rosterable in most mixed leagues, unless you’re desperate for saves.
Marcelo Mayer – Traded to the Giants. Not an uninteresting move for real baseball, I guess, if Mayer ever gets healthy. Though, it’s truly hard to know who to believe when front offices say stuff like Marcelo Mayer is a cornerstone for the future, then they just dump him for a reliever.
Osleivis Basabe – 1-for-3, 1 RBI. Assuming he’s the Arraez replacement in San Fran with Nate Furman, backing him up. Furman has a bit of speed and average, but only for NL-Only. Also, Furman’s being accused of planting Devers’ batting gloves at a crime scene.
Jung Hoo Lee – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and a double slam (7, 8) and legs (8), hitting .306. Having a better season than Vlad Jr., you say? Why do you say it? To hurt me?
Logan Webb – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.74. Webb gem!
Lars Nootbaar – Traded to the DBacks, i.e., the DBacks got an outfielder and a snack. Nootbaar is really solid, if your blood sugar is dropping. If you want an actual hitter? Meh.
Brandon Pfaadt – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.66. Not really good, when one looks at his underlying stats, but it’s also insane how well he’s pitched since he returned. Wanna really second guess every choice you’ve ever made? Look at your ERA if you had Pfaadt since he returned and Nick Martinez.
Brenton Doyle – Traded to the White Sox. “Good luck out of Coors!” That’s Nolan Jones leaving him a message.
Jeff Hoffman – Traded to the Twins. Welp, Twins’ playoff odds just decreased. Hoffman could see save opps, and I wouldn’t be rushing to pick him up.
Victor Vodnik – Traded to the Marlins. Victor Vodnik is also the player whose name sounds most like a MF DOOM alias, so that’s fun.
Brent Suter – Traded to the Braves with Nacho Alvarez Jr. going to the Angels, i.e., Braves Nacho’s anymore.
Luke Weaver – Traded to the Pirates. I’m unreasonably happy the Pirates are buying. LFG! That’s all it takes, just freakin’ try! It’s all I ask! Weaver will presumably become the Pirates’ closer.
Mitch Keller – Hit the 60-day IL. Addition by subtraction! Pirates keep winning!
Kirby Yates – Traded to the Pirates. Along with Luke Bachar. How many Lukes they need? Please let Weaver close. Please.
Braxton Garrett – Traded to the Cubs. If the Marlins can’t fix Braxton, I don’t have a ton of expectations for him on the Cubs. I don’t even really expect him to be MLB rotation ready. He’s a project. Do you like projects? Then try origami.
Ryan Zeferjahn – Traded to the Cubs. If your last name starts with A thru L, then you stand by the 1st base line. If your last name starts from M thru Z, then the 3rd base line. Angels’ tryouts start at the top of the hour. Word on the street is Daniel Palencia could return soon (around two weeks), but Zeferjahn could get save chances. I still prefer Jacob Webb. Worth a flyer if you’re desperate in mixed leagues, and definitely NL-Only.
Clay Holmes – Traded to the Cubs. Just googled the last time Clay was thrown in Chicago and found a Northside couple recreating the famous pottery scene in Ghost with an ode to Abe Forman, as they formed a sausage in red clay, which had everyone asking, “Is that a dog’s penis?” This is solid for Holmes, but he was pitching in one of the best parks in baseball, so it could ding his value for dongs. The clock dings for dongs.
Tyrone Taylor – Also goes to the Cubs. Cubs had a sneaky solid deadline. Tyrone Taylor is the type that is way more valuable for real baseball than fantasy.
Seiya Suzuki – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 19th homer. Seiya ball! Also, in this game, Carson Kelly (1-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 7th homer; Michael Busch (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 14th homer, and Kevin Alcantara (1-for-1, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer. You could say the wind was blowing out yesterday, and not need a degree in meteorology to be right.
Ben Rortvedt – Traded to the Dodgers. Okay, now the Dodgers are unbeatable. They also traded for Hunter Fedduccia. Yes, this is because Dalton Rushing is actually hurt. He hit the IL.
Kris Bubic – Traded to the Dodgers. Um, to be their 6th inning guy? Mop-up duty? Going with the long-dreamt-of, but never achieved 8-man rotation? I guess he has to get healthy first, and then maybe he can work in relief? Seems to kill his fantasy value, and the Dodgers are now Brendan Fraser in The Whale. They never hear gluttony is a sin?
Emmet Sheehan – Optioned to the minors. Wow, first they get Skubal, and now they option down Sheehan. They really are going to be good.
Justin Wrobleski – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 3.31. That’s okay, the Dodgers have six more guys to take your place.
Tommy Edman – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Dodgers have a $4.5 billion payroll and Tommy Edman batting third.
Teoscar Hernandez – 2-for-4 and his 11th homer. Long overdue to get sizzling hot and yesterday’s homer was such a moonshot, it might go a long way to getting him hot.
Joey Bart – Traded to the White Sox. Bart sure travels a lot. He really was a perfect fit in Northern California. Sigh. Brazoban can now throw to Bart, and that’s a fun portmanteau. Brazobart!
Dustin May – Traded to the Brewers. You know what’s about to happen, right? Oh, yeah. Brewers about to turn Dustin May into ’68 Bob Gibson. You’d think it’s a worse stadium, but you’d be a silly rabbit about that Giant Human Carrot. Even crazier, Dustin May’s going to be the only one left when we all keel over from lettuce-related death.
Antonio Senzatela – Traded to the Brewers. Stonks go up for those Cuddle Boy cuddlers.
Connor Norby – Traded to the Rockies. Oh, yeah, if there’s any place that can crack a prospect that hasn’t figured it out, it’s gotta be there. The Rockies (smoke) crack!
Mickey Moniak – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .277. Because I roster this guy in multiple leagues I’m happy he’s still with the Rockies. I’d be happier if they gave him an extension and he gave me the money.
Ezequiel Tovar – 4-for-4, 3 runs and his 9th homer. First time all year someone cheered on an Ezequiel, and not because they were churning butter.
Liam Hicks – Traded to the Rays. Non-flashy-ass team that is so good at this. You know this is likely the best move of the day and no one will ever talk about it. Hicks is absolutely perfect fit for that Rays team. That’s not to say this does anything to his fantasy value; it’s just an excellent move for the Rays. Stupid, brilliant Rays. Do I think this moves up Agustin Ramirez? I don’t know, but Joe Mack has been solid, so I see no reason.
Tyler Wells – Traded to the Rays. That means the Orioles’ closer will be–Wait, they won’t win games. I guess, Andrew Kittredge.
Jack Suwinski – Traded to the Rays. Suwinski about to become a lights-out reliever.
Junior Caminero – 2-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 31st and 32nd homer. Juco Loco said class dismissed!
Alec Burleson – 3-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 16th, 17th and 18th homer. Alec heard his name in trade rumors and was like, “Can I clear waivers? Get me out of here!”
George Lombard Jr. – Being called up by the Yankees, as they sent down Jasson Dominguez and Anthony Volpe. Yankees said we don’t need to trade for guys, we have guys. Like this guy who sound slike he should be in black & white films who is hitting 12/14/.284 with a 21.2 K% in the minors. Itch said, “Jose Caballero has been cromulent as a short-term option at the six replacing Anthony Volpe, but Fangraphs lists him as a WAR negative on both offense and defense. His best position on a first-division roster is as a utility player. You could say the same about Ryan McMahon and his .278 on base percentage, although I might argue you could find a more versatile bench player with that roster spot. Lombard Jr. has adapted to Triple-A after a slow start at the level, slashing .308/.429/.617 with seven home runs, five stolen bases and a 23.3 percent strikeout rate over his last 30 games, and I bet Grey doesn’t know what cromulent means.” Damn, he actually got me there. Itch added, “Which is why I want to beat his ass.” What? So, I grabbed Lombard Jr. faster than than my lumbar could move and I think I threw out my lower back.
Heliot Ramos – Traded to the Yankees. So, the bad news is Aaron Judge is done for the year. I’m kidding! I think. I am kidding, right? I don’t know. Did I just make it so by speaking it into existence? Oh man. So, Heliot’s one featured tidbit of trivia that I love: He was the first righty to ever hit a home run into McCovey Cove. Bombs away, baby!
Cam Schlittler – 3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 2.26. Perfect way to met the moment after the trade deadline.
Luis Garcia Jr. – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 24th homer. LuGaJu landed at LaGu Airport and went right to work at YaSta! A true YaStafarian by blood.
Ryan McMahon – 2-for-4, 2 runs, and his 10th homer. Also, in this game, Trent Grisham (2-for-5, 2 runs, 12th homer); Jose Caballero (1-for-3, 12th homer, and 2nd homer in two games) and Austin Wells (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, 8th homer). When you get a home run from McMahon, Grisham, Caballero and Wells and lose? You’re in trouble.
Hector Rodriguez – Reds are calling him up to sit on the bench, I assume. I’ve been fired-up before by you, Reds! Well, in case he’s up to play, he had 27/6/274 season in Triple-A as a 22-year-old, and he’s their third ranked prospect. Seems like a solid flyer for deeper leagues, at worse. Reds have never screwed us over before, right?
Robbie Ray – Traded to the Padres. The world is not ready for Robbie Ray’s ass in stripes. Giants have a great park, and the Padres do, as well. So, that’s a push. Padres have a terrible offense, but so did the Giants. So, that’s a push. Robbie Ray is not as good as his current ERA, but that might not matter. Push, push, and they call him The Tush.
Casey Mize – Traded to the Padres. As Tyra Banks would say, Mize makes me smize. He is perennially underrated, and, while Detroit was a good stadium, so is Petco. Don’t forget Mize in your NL-Only leagues. There’s not a ton of other guys switching leagues, is there? I’m actually asking because I have to put in a lot of FAAB bids.
Moises Ballesteros – Traded to the Angels. Insane to say this when I’m not sure the Angels have a team to field, but they did well this deadline. Likely could’ve done better for Adell, but the Soriano return was solid (I’m sure Itch will go over the prospects who moved today). Love to see the Angels let Moises catch, but maybe DH. Either way, he’s a monocle in mixed leagues, but decent flyer for AL-Only.
Daulton Varsho – Traded to the Astros for Spencer Arrighetti. There was a severe lack of trades of MLB talent for MLB talent, right? Any hoo! Astros have struggled to fill one of their outfield spots, and will continue to struggle when Varsho gets hurt. There was a reason why this trade was contingent on a doctor’s note. Assuming Varsho’s healthy, you know I like him. I liked him a bit too much — him and Addison Barger. Member him? I do, barely.
Cristian Javier – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 6.59, and he was followed by Tatsuya Imai – 3 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.55, but they lost to Shane Bieber (5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 5.11), as they all pitched well as they celebrated Opposite Day.
Spencer Arrighetti – Traded to the Jays. Sp. Arrighetti in Canada comes with cheese curds. Don’t gag, it’s true. Learn to love your neighbors. Arrighetti is a project that I don’t think anyone can unlock, but wish the Jays luck.
Josh Smith – Traded to the Jays. Ernie Clement and Josh Smith gonna be showing each other their position eligibility like Mel Gibson and Rene Russo with battle scars in Lethal Weapon 3.
Jose Soriano – Traded to the Jays. I’m sorry what? So, the answer to are the Jays buying or selling is, “Yes?” I woke up yesterday to the Jays buying and Pete Crow-Armstrong saying he doesn’t believe Babe Ruth existed.
A Ruther? pic.twitter.com/JlGbf2y3ql
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 3, 2026
I admittedly love how stupid baseball players are. I think you have to. If you’re secretly mad people are dumb, then you’ll grow old and angry. The secret to life, as told to me by a fortune cookie, is appreciating how goddamn stupid everyone is. As for Soriano, he’s neutrally a 3.75 ERA pitcher with solid Ks and this move hurts his fantasy value a little, as The House That Bobby Grich Built is a solid pitchers’ park. Actually think this is a sneaky move for the Jays. They’re not competing this year, but Soriano is under contract for a couple of years, so it’s a good backend starter to get now vs. trying to sign someone overpriced like Tyler Mahle. Smart move, now everyone go back to being dumb!
