“Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong Just Dong…oh, and Just Dong. Then, when you get tired, and wanna go home, Just Dong some more.” That was the guy who hired Quasimodo to ring the bell at Notre Dame. It was also the Red Sox yesterday. Leading the Red Sox yesterday in the Just Dong parade of Just Dongers was none other than, you guessed it, Just Dong Martinez (4-for-6, 4 runs, 4 RBIs), who hit his 3rd, 4th and 5th homers, as he hits .472. Hey, Preseason Grey who hated J.D. Martinez, you suck. Always seem to get myself in trouble when I try to time the end of guys’ productiveness, rather than just going with guys until they’re no longer liable. Whit Merrifield and Nelson Cruz come to mind, too. So, I trust Just Dong now, right? Well, no, not entirely, but I also can’t point to any reason not to trust him, so process of elimination tells me, he’s a younger version of Nelson Cruz. Call him Nelson Dongz. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Luke Weaver to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
A friend of mine Pete Gabriel looked at my team and said, “This team is going to be a sledgehammer!” Then after a brief pause said, “I didn’t capitalize sledgehammer, and I am in no way related to Peter Gabriel or Peter Gabriel’s estate. Any potential confusion is just unfortunate mistake. Please don’t sue me.” Then after filling out a ten-page contract clearing him of any liability, he said, “Your hitting will go boom, boom, boom! Son,” he said, “Grab your things, your hitters will drive guys home!” Then, after a lengthy reconfirmation that he was 100% unrelated to Peter Gabriel, he said, “The light…the heat…Your team is complete in your eyes.” Then quickly added, “But I didn’t sing any of that so don’t confuse me, Pete Gabriel, with the Grammy-winning singer, Peter Gabriel.” It’s exhausting hanging out with that guy. For those unaware, this league is 5×5 with OBP instead of AVG, two-catcher, 12-team NL-Only league. Anyway, here’s my Tout Wars draft recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Never in the history of fantasy baseball posts has anyone successfully pulled off what I’m about to do. I’m going to write out my pre-draft plan here for everyone to see, and leave it unchanged even if the plan doesn’t come together. I’m the world where Mike Nesmith’s mother never invents Liquid Paper. Yo, keyboard, take away my delete and backspace buttons, don’t need ’em. Have you heard of the My Pillow guy? Well, I’m the My Plan guy. Okay, here goes, prepare your eyeballs. My Plan: Buy top hitters, and cheap pitchers. Use Rudy’s War Room (free with a Razzball Tools subscription). Change underwear in case something happens. Surprise! This is the same plan as I’ve used just about every year in NL and AL-Only leagues. I really need to start changing my underwear more than just prior to drafts. I go for balance in 12-team mixed leagues. (If you want one of those, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.) In these mono-leagues, I go for a few big bats, and usually around a 78/22-ish split. Doesn’t always work out; let’s be honest, sometimes I barely spend 18% on pitchers. If you’re wondering why I don’t spend on pitchers, welcome to the site, may I suggest starting at top 20 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball? Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, NL-Only draft recap:
Psyche! Before going into the LABR draft recap, Donkey asked that I notify people that RazzSlam qualifier leagues are now signing up. Didn’t get into the RazzSlam and wanna correct that for next year? Top 10 finishers will secure a spot for 2022. Slow drafts (4-hour pick clock) will begin 30-minutes after your league fills. It’s Best Ball, so after you draft, you don’t need to change your lineup. Just slowly rub your hands together and smile evilly. Here’s the RazzSlam rules if you’re a completist. Anyway II, the LABR recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 80 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball is around the 225th overall mark in your drafts to about the 275th point. This is your late fourth thru the beginning of the sixth starters. This is just about it for 12 team leagues, though the last tier in this post is still in 12-team league territory, so you’ll have to wait until the next post to finish off that tier. Grey knows how to keep ’em coming back! Here’s Steamer’s 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Rudy’s downloadable War Room is available to early subscribers to our Razzball Tools. As always, where I see tiers starting and stopping are included with my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello again, my friends. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.
I had another fun-but-also-terribly-painful experiment for you guys. For some of you this will be euphoric. But as a Cardinals fan myself, well, this just sucks.
My experiment is rather simple, and it’s similar to my last piece on Waiver Wire All-Stars. I’m certainly not alone in this, but I’ve noticed a whole lotta ex-STL players having really, really, really good things happen after leaving town. I got to thinking, and I wondered if it were possible to field a full fantasy squad of 100% ex-STL players and still have a good team. The answer is YUP. Oh, joy.
I had to take some liberties, and I had to do a lot of digging through past draft classes and minor league affiliate rosters, but I’ve built a Yahoo standard lineup of players who at one point in time were in the Cardinals system (with some liberties sprinkled in). It’s not a perfect team, but it’s a damn fine one if you ask me. It just hurts all the more knowing this didn’t have to be fantasy for the Cardinals. IT COULD HAVE BEEN REALITY! MAYBE! *crying baby GIF*
Another thing about this experiment is we gotta assume these players reach or maintain their fantasy ceilings. Some guys weren’t so great in 2020 but have been good recently, or vice versa. Some of them I don’t exactly miss, if I’m being honest, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t help this fantasy fantasy squad win.
Cardinals fans, get your tissues ready. Have Freese’s heroics from Game 6 of the 2011 World Series playing on a loop in the background as you read. Go to your happy place and try to stay there as you see name after name break your heart over and over again. This is supposed to be therapeutic, right?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m freshly back from The Hotties, which is the annual Razzball award ceremony for the “hottest taeks” in fantasy baseball. With the sharp-toothed piranhavirus in full swing, Grey called for a “Mask-erade” ball, but the Eventbrite invitation auto-corrected it to a “masquerade” ball. Everybody showed up with the wrong parts of their face covered. I thought Grey would be upset but he seemed to take everything in stride, saying that he had been waiting for this day since “Eyes Wide Shut” was released. Is that a movie or a novel or a contact delivery service? Anyway, Grey started giggle-whispering “Fidelio!” at everybody. Hey, Grey, I get it. Fidel Castro liked baseball. Let’s get with the times!
I did manage to record Grey’s speech to all the writers and Instagram models who attended. Here’s the transcript if you want to read it:
“I’ll get right to the point: I’m proud to announce a new partnership between Razzball and the San Diego Padres. 2021 will be known as STAN DIEGO around here, and all hot taeks will involve Padres players. The top 10 pitchers? Lamet, Davis, Clevinger, and Paddack [audible hissing from the crowd]. The top 10 hitters? Tatis, Machado, Grisham, and Myers. Trevor Rosenthal is a top 30 pick. You will all write sleeper articles on Joey Lucchesi, Adrian Morejon, and yes, Eric Hosmer. [pause while Grey dodges thrown masks] Fear not, for STAN DIEGO comes with perks! You will all get a free hot dog with a purchase of an annual pass to Sea World, and you’ll get a personal tour of the tiger enclosure at the San Diego Zoo. Now, writers, start hyping Jake Cronenworth!”
At that point, all the people Grey whispered “Fidelio” to disappeared into Grey’s private grotto, which he named “50 Shades of Play” because of the underwater mini-golf course he installed. Myself? I was left standing in the foyer with a mysterious note that only said, “MacKenzie Gore, 2021 hot taek.”Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hard to believe, but my first season as a baseball analyst here at Razzball is almost at an end! For athletes, that means they’re leaving the bubble soon. Us fantasy writers? We’re all bubbled-up to protect from the dreaded Piranhavirus. Oh, you don’t know what that is? See, we’re so forward thinking here at Razzball, we’re already sequestered away for the next pandemic. You may be asking, “How does the Razzbubble work?” Well, future victims of piranhas, let me show you my notes from earlier this summer when I bubbled up.Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY YESTERDAY ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $5/MONTH.)
Andujar could be used to describe the entire Yankees team this year. Not Miguel Andujar, but just walking around, looking at the team and saying, “Andujar?…Andujar?…Andujar?” It’s like a family reunion that you don’t want to be at.
“I’m Tyler Wade…Andujar?”
“That’s right, I’m Miguel Andujar.”
“I just said, I’m Tyler Wade.”
Their bullpen is especially, “And…u…jar?”
“I’m Adam Ottavino.”
“You sure don’t seem like ujar.”
If anyone were asking Miguel Andujar, “Andujar?” He could say a 2018 breakout, who had his 2019 cut short to only 12 plate appearances, so should be totally thrown out. How he went from a 2018 breakout to completely ignored by the Yankees in a Year of “Andujar?” is surprising, but likely has to do with his inability to play defense. Since the Yankees are all “Andujar?”, they don’t have many options to not Andujar, and he could be a solid bet for power. In a small sample — that’s what she said! — he has a ~43% Hard Hit%. His swing is kinda flat, bordering on ground ball-heavy, but well worth the flyer that he can hit more flyers. So, stop asking “Andujar?” and starting stating, “Andujar.” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the highly lucrative industry that is imaginary sports team management, we here at Razzball are always looking to give you readers the sharpest edge of advantage. I mean, how do we keep up with a provider like Pitching Ninja, whose name literally invokes the finely-honed edges of a ninja star slicing through bats before landing softly in the supple leather of a catchers mitt? Fear not, fearful reader! I have been to cram school, and I have been to Austria, and I have been in dungeons, and I combined all of my knowledge of those places and completely threw it out the window. See, to be sharper than sharp, you gotta think outside the box. When the competition goes sharp, you go — that’s right! — blocky. I present to you, followers of the Top 100 Starting Pitcher series, the latest in pitching analysis: 8-bit graphics.
Let’s apply this newfangled technology to our top starting pitchers and see what we can do to help you to fantasy glory!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Aaaaaand just like that, the fantasy baseball playoffs are right around the corner for most of us. I don’t know about y’all, but 2020 has been the single longest decade of my entire life. Yet here we are, on the down slope of the baseball season, despite every week having COVID cases pop up here and there. Pretty ding dang surprised we still have baseball, to be fully honest with yinz. Buckle your seat belts, ladies n gents, cuz we gotta a whole lotta baseball coming up. Double-headers galore.
The latter part of a season is always a little cray cray. GMs get desperate, take some risks, snatch up some keepers for cheap, that sorta thing. With all these double-headers, there will be lots of bats and arms getting chances they otherwise wouldn’t have gotten. We’ve already seen quite a bit of that throughout the year, and it’s only gonna keep on keepin’ on.
Format is a little different this week. I like tinkering. Doing away with my “39% or less owned” rule, too, cuz I feel like it.Please, blog, may I have some more?