So, the Trent Grisham/Luis Urias trade is still being sorted it seems. If you’re the Brewers and Padres, do you think you won or lost the Urias/Grisham trade? Or do you think it’s a push and decide to go back to the well like Baby Jessica and try one more? How you answer that decides whether or not you make the Josh Hader trade, right? Since that Hader trade was made, it must mean both teams thought they won the Grisham/Urias one. Right? You don’t trade with a team that just fed you an L, do you? Well, I’m here to say the Brewers won that trade, and I think they won this trade too, but I’m a big fan of trading away closers, so I am biased. Yes, even top tier ones. With that said, I do think it’s odd the Brewers made this trade — appearing like sellers — as they are leading the NL Central.
The trade in full: Josh Hader to the Padres for Taylor Rogers, Robert Gasser, Esteury Ruiz, and Dinelson Lamet. Do the Brewers just have such a “We can fix him” mentality they just have to take on messes? Oh man, the Brewers are Kate Hudson. That makes Taylor Rogers Matthew McConaughey; Dinelson Lamet is Paul Rudd and Esteury Ruiz is John Krasinski. What an All-Star cast of lovable losers that the Brewers, excuse me, Kate Hudson, er, I mean, Brewers need to fix! Looking at this from the other side, is the move from Taylor Rogers to Josh Hader worth the multiple players being sent away? Who’s the buyer here? Who’s the seller? Who’s the Boss!? Kinda like the Josh Hader trade because if you look at it at first, you’re like, “Brewers got hosed,” but then you look at it more and you’re like, “Padres got hosed,” but then look at it more and you’re like, “No, the Brewers definitely were hosed.” The Josh Hader trade is the Mona Lisa smile of trades.
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 1, 2022
So, Josh Hader is clearly the new closer in San Diego. Truly hope Devin Williams gets a chance to be the Brewers’ closer, but it’s been floated that the Brewers might like him in setup and roll Taylor Rogers out there for saves. Floated by whom? Me, right now, in these last few sentences. As for Esteury Ruiz, he was sent down, and Lamet is likely to be used in a similar role as in San Diego, for now, at least. Unless Kate Hudson can work her magic! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jurickson Profar – 2-for-4 and his 12th homer, 2nd homer in two games, and 3rd homer in three games. Friends, countrymen, Juricksons, where are the fire emojis? We need a hot fire emoji replacing the ‘u’ in Jurickson’s name.
Kris Bryant – Hit the IL. That’s all right! When the Rockies get Bryant back from the IL, it’ll be like they made a deadline trade for a bat! Plus, the Rockies got Daniel Bard locked up for a few more years. What a time to be a Rockies fan!
Ehire Adrianza – Acquired by the Braves. Ehire is no Zip Recruiter.
Robinson Cano – DFA’d by the Braves. This DFA farewell tour of Cano’s is pretty moving. He be moving all around the league!
Robbie Grossman – Acquired by the Braves. Braves liked what they did last year with Eddie Rosario, Soler, and Duvall and were like, “Let’s get even grosser!” He seems likely to be a platoon guy with Rosario.
Jake Odorizzi – Acquired by the Braves. There’s still time a guy will move leagues, but right now I think this is the biggest asset moving to the NL. Maybe I can put my NL-Only FAAB dollars towards getting gas. Odorizzi remains a streamer in shallower leagues, and, in deeper leagues, he likely gets a small boost in value in park, but a ding on opponents.
Frankie Montas – Traded to the Yankees with Lou Trivino. Hate this trade for Montas’s fantasy value. I hate the arm injury for his value. I hate everything about this. Can’t Montas go to Seattle or San Diego or Los Angeles? Please, Los Angeles! Either Los Angeles! The real Los Angeles or the Anaheim Los Angeles! Ugh, they can’t change this trade due to my feelings, can they? Welp, it is what it is, I suppose. Hopefully the massive boost in wins Montas will be getting will offset the hit to his ratios. Can a guy get that big of a boost in Wins when he only has nine starts left? Hmm…Any hoo! Trivino also goes to the Yankees so they have a new arm to use in the 9th inning (of games where they’re down by five or more runs).
Scott Effross – Traded to the Yankees. Nice that he comes with the curse word Yankees fans can use when he blows a game.
Aaron Judge – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 43rd homer. Truly amazing how great Aaron Judge has been this year, and it’s August 1st, and he still is 30 homers behind Bonds!
Anthony Rizzo – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer. HR to the Izzo!
Jose Trevino – 2-for-4 and his 8th and 9th homer. That’s a home run for each Trivino the Yanks now have.
Kyle Lewis – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer. Yes, he can have a huge final two months. Yes, I’d grab him if he were available.
Jose Siri – Headed to the Rays. I don’t want to be the “Everything the Rays do is great” guy, but I really have liked what I’ve seen from Jose Siri. Will see if he ever gets everyday playing time. Rays might’ve just traded for Siri because they’re too cheap to pay for a human assistant.
Brett Phillips – DFA’d by the Rays. He was well-liked by the fan base, but the Rays heard he wanted to get paid for playing for them, and that was a no-go.
Zach Jackson – Would be my guess for the new A’s closer. Maybe A.J. Puk might see some saves too, and Dany Jimenez is due back soon, but speculating three deep on the A’s saves is a good way to go from Puk to puke.
Jesus Luzardo – 5 IP, 2 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.97, as he was activated. I’m willing to throw a monocle on my cyclops and see what Luzardo’s capable of, but I really don’t think I’m going to get excited outside of Streamonator calls. If I’m being honest, he did look better than I expected, after the wonky first couple of innings.
Hunter Greene – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.26. This guy is gonna be such a problem for hitters once he can command his pitches every start out. Don’t even think we see it next year for the whole year, but at some point, he’s gonna be an ace for 200 IP, and it’s gonna be like something we’ve never seen before.
Jake Diekman – Traded to the White Sox from the Red Sox. So, ya know, just a color change.
Emmanuel Rivera – Traded to the Diamondbacks. But Rivera had my favorite nickname that only I used with Ozark! See, Kansas City Rivera is the Ozarks. Great, right? Ugh, what a bummer! Any hoo! Rivera will prolly float between 3B and DH, and be nothing but an NL-Only flyer.
Daulton Varsho – 2-for-4 and his 14th homer, hitting .239. Been totally respectable as a catcher, but hasn’t exactly been, “Let me open my fantasy team page to see what Varsho’s done today” good.
Christian Walker – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 24th homer, hitting .203. He had two hits yesterday, but he only homers, so I don’t know how he pulled that off.
Amed Rosario – 3-for-6, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .294. Good way to eat my words is to say something that could immediately be proven wrong, but the Guardians don’t seem interested in being contenders. So, they’re not buyers. But they don’t seem like they want to be sellers either. The Guardians: Just be.
Franmil Reyes – Optioned to Triple-A. Wow. Honestly, that’s got me floored. He was struggling, I get it, but that’s the kind of move that just kills a guy’s confidence. Damn, hopefully his vending machine steaks in the minors are well done.
Jon Gray – 1 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.83, but left while mouthing the words “back.” Not sure if anyone mouthed back, “As in return or as in your back hurts?”
Corey Seager – 1-for-4 and his 24th homer, as he returned from a multiple-day absence that was deemed “health” related, and not “calling his mommy to rat out Kyle” related.
Cedric Mullins – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer. Someone tell the Orioles they’re not supposed to win anymore.
Andrew Heaney – 4 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 0.77. As I’ve said before, as long as Heaney is pitching, you should be starting him. No, I don’t think it’ll last long. No, I’m not even sure if he’s still healthy.
Logan Webb – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.20. All the Giants starters next year are gonna be so great. It’s even/odd thing.
Jose Quintana – Traded to the Cardinals. Stays in division, now gets to face the Pirates. Did the Cardinals just pull off another master stroke? You must be Jo-Quin! This is prolly the best landing place for Quintana, aside from Miami where they just teach new pitches. In St. Louis, they create excellence! *pulls bunny from Cards hat, puts hat on bunny, pats bunny on butt to go take the mound and throw a shutout*
Juan Soto – 1-for-1, 2 runs and a slam (21) and legs (6). If this was the last home run Sexy Dr. Pepper ever hits for the Nationals, then I hope the person who caught the ball puts it into glass case and trades it to Todd MacFarlane for McGwire’s 70th home run ball.
Patrick Corbin – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.57. If this Corbin’s last start for the Nats, then I hope someone puts his contract into a glass case and shoots it into orbit.
Pete Alonso – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 27th homer. Albombso!
Matt Manning – Will return today, after missing the last four months with shoulder and biceps issues. Oh, is that it? Couldn’t squeeze in some elbow tightness? Geez, what an injury tryhard!
Tarik Skubal – Left after five scoreless with his velocity down and said he had arm fatigue. It’s pronounced fay-tee-gay, it’s Italian!
Aaron Sanchez – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 7.68. Behind only Joe Ryan this year, Sanchez had the 2nd most swinging strikes for any Twins pitcher this year. I’m intrigued, y’all! The cool thing about baseball is every time a guy like Skubal goes down, another guy like Aaron Sanchez comes up. Just a constant ebb and flow of Streamonator calls.
Matt Bush – Traded to the Brewers. One year removed from being Miller Park, and already turning to Bush. Disgraceful. Bush falls into the 7th in Milwaukee, but I think this leaves Jonathan Hernandez as the Rangers’ closer. Oh, and by the way, the Rangers spent $500 million to suck.
Luke Weaver – Traded to the Royals in the Rivera deal. Kinda like this move from a real baseball perspective for the Royals. Weaver’s been great for peripherals (10.5 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 2.69 FIP), but wildly unlucky on BABIP (.434). Might be something here, or maybe I’m a dream Weaver.
Salvador Perez – 1-for-4 and his 14th homer, 2nd homer in two games, three homers in four games, and trying to make people who drafted a catcher early even more insane, because they dropped him and now he’s doing this for another team.
Daniel Lynch – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.70 vs. Michael Kopech – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.12. For both of these guys, I went to the Streamonator to look at what it thought for them, and, for Da. Lynch, it made the universal sign for me being crazy. Not sure if that’s a reference to Twin Peaks or something.
Trey Mancini – Traded to the Astros. So, Trey was Trey’d in a trey player deal. Greybot5000 is overheating. The Orioles were within striking distance of a Wild Card. I know, I know, their number one starter is Dean Wormer, but it’s still some BS that the O’s are that close to the playoffs and are, of course, sellers. Trey Mancini goes to a Houston club that won’t hurt him at all. Trey Mancini showing up in Houston, “So, you guys, like, know which pitches are coming still or what? Don’t worry, I won’t Mike Fiers up this shizz.” The park is so much better, any park is better than what Baltimore did in Balty-more, and the lineup is great. Pretty nice boost for Mancini, and I’m assuming this is the end of the line for Yuli Gurriel. There is no such thing as August Gurriel, after all.
Will Smith – Traded to the Astros. He got in one little fight with Juan Soto, and Snitker got scared. He said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle Dusty in Bellaire, uh, Texas.” He should work setup for Pressly. Damn, the Astros have two singers relieving!
Christian Vazquez – Traded to the Astros. Dusty, how’sever, toothpick in cheek, intimated that Maldonado would remain catcher number one. I really thought the Astros liking Martin Maldonado was a bit, but I guess not. So, Vazquez goes to a slightly better park for his power, but slightly worse for his average, but becomes a backup… *doing math on window of M.I.T.*…Yeah, that’s not good.
Rich Hill – Will rejoin the Red Sox rotation on Wednesday. *writes in cursive* “I will move Dick Mountain’s for you…My love.”
Nathan Eovaldi – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.11. Through every start since 2013, yesterday’s game saw his lowest average four-seamer at 94.2 MPH through three innings. Hey, Eovaldi, notta so good! I’m doin’-a cringe.
Jarren Duran – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Holy crizzap! He’s reminding people why we once liked him? Seriously? That’s wild, boys!
Reese McGuire – Traded to the Red Sox. Well, if the Red Sox are gonna shoot their shot.
Tommy Pham – Traded to the Red Sox. First, this deal needs to be approved by the league commissioner, Mike Trout. Rather than getting traded, Joc Pederson would’ve just stashed himself on the IL. Tommy Pham gets a boost in average from the Monster, and a better lineup. Think the park also hurts his power just a tad. Not a bad move, bit lateral. Unless he was just traded to the Red Sox to help Chris Sale with his fantasy football team.