Please see our player page for Kyle Lewis to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Aaaand we’re back! Aaand wait–where’s all the baseball games? I had heard they were doing beisbol again this year only way faster and with even more rules? Sounds like fun! I just left my COVID-proof bacta-tank where I now spend the entire offseason. I only leave to write blog posts, see Marvel movies, and watch […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“You can spend any amount of money, but it has to be in the months of November and December, then from the months of April thru October you have to stink.”

Rangers’ GM, the 8-foot tall Chris Young shakes his head, lowering the last will and testament of the Rangers’ crazy aunt Mary, who just passed. Finally, Young says, “This is more convoluted than Brewster’s Millions.”

Don’t fully understand it, but the Rangers print money in December of every year, then set it on fire all summer long. It’s not clear how, why or any other question you have. All I know is the Rangers have made this their MO. It truly is impressive if you stop to think about it. I’m glad they’re spending money, but real questions: Where is all this money coming from and are they ever going to win anything? So, the latest spend was on Jacob deGrom, giving him $222 million. Good for him. As I said at one point last year, when he’s healthy, he’s one of the best pitchers in the game. Speaking of which, as frequent contributor, Coolwhip, reminded me: What will deGrom’s health be like without the Mets’ trainers? 220 IP incoming! I kid, I think. No, I don’t think deGrom will suddenly be the model of good health. He has a better chance of being a cover model on Men’s Health next to a topless Bartolo Colon. Speaking of the Mets:

So, Jacob deGrom goes to a great park, but he’s stadium-proof. He’s in a new league, but he’s league-proof. He’s the best pitcher in the game, who can’t get past 92 IP since 2021. He could be one of the biggest lottery tickets in fantasy baseball drafts, but, unless he fell, I won’t be trying to cash it. His 14.3 K/9, 1.1 BB/9, and 1.54 xFIP last year are so ridiculous. In 64 IP or 15 IP, it doesn’t matter. No one is better, it’s just “no one is better” for how many innings? That’s the question. For 2023, I’ll give Jacob deGrom projections of 10-2/2.26/0.83/167 in 107 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Orlando Arcia went down with a hamstring strain and some teams would’ve just cobbled together a makeshift shortstop out of available major league pieces. A Frankenshortstop, so to speak. And it might’ve been fine, might’ve ran into a hot day or three from whoever they Ehire’d. That’s the kind of shizz other teams do! Not the Braves! I love the Braves for this, by the way. They promote their prospects like they’re Tim McGraw singing Live Like You’re Dying. They’re on a bull named Fu Manchu, and they promote their guys! Love it! Of course, sometimes with pitchers, they come up, surprise hitters for three to six months, then fade into obscurity, unable to handle setbacks. But who cares about that now? Their sticks come up and stick. Yesterday, they promoted Vaughn Grissom from Double-A, where he was 3/7/.363 in 22 games, after going 11/20/.312 in High-A. He appeared in Itch’s Top 50 prospects, and now appears on all of my teams, because I love me some rookie nookie! Plus, he got a slam (1) and legs (1) in his major league game (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs), and the homer was an absolute moonshot over the Green Monster. Haven’t been that impressed by a Braves’ rookie debut since Jason Heyward’s! Okay, that’s not fair, but trying to put things in perspective. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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So, the Trent Grisham/Luis Urias trade is still being sorted it seems. If you’re the Brewers and Padres, do you think you won or lost the Urias/Grisham trade? Or do you think it’s a push and decide to go back to the well like Baby Jessica and try one more? How you answer that decides whether or not you make the Josh Hader trade, right? Since that Hader trade was made, it must mean both teams thought they won the Grisham/Urias one. Right? You don’t trade with a team that just fed you an L, do you? Well, I’m here to say the Brewers won that trade, and I think they won this trade too, but I’m a big fan of trading away closers, so I am biased. Yes, even top tier ones. With that said, I do think it’s odd the Brewers made this trade — appearing like sellers — as they are leading the NL Central.

The trade in full:  Josh Hader to the Padres for Taylor Rogers, Robert Gasser, Esteury Ruiz, and Dinelson Lamet. Do the Brewers just have such a “We can fix him” mentality they just have to take on messes? Oh man, the Brewers are Kate Hudson. That makes Taylor Rogers Matthew McConaughey; Dinelson Lamet is Paul Rudd and Esteury Ruiz is John Krasinski. What an All-Star cast of lovable losers that the Brewers, excuse me, Kate Hudson, er, I mean, Brewers need to fix! Looking at this from the other side, is the move from Taylor Rogers to Josh Hader worth the multiple players being sent away? Who’s the buyer here? Who’s the seller? Who’s the Boss!? Kinda like the Josh Hader trade because if you look at it at first, you’re like, “Brewers got hosed,” but then you look at it more and you’re like, “Padres got hosed,” but then look at it more and you’re like, “No, the Brewers definitely were hosed.” The Josh Hader trade is the Mona Lisa smile of trades.

So, Josh Hader is clearly the new closer in San Diego. Truly hope Devin Williams gets a chance to be the Brewers’ closer, but it’s been floated that the Brewers might like him in setup and roll Taylor Rogers out there for saves. Floated by whom? Me, right now, in these last few sentences. As for Esteury Ruiz, he was sent down, and Lamet is likely to be used in a similar role as in San Diego, for now, at least. Unless Kate Hudson can work her magic! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Leody Taveras reminds me of how Marshall Applewhite, the co-leader of the Heaven’s Gate cult, made everyone change their name so it ended with -ody. Too bad he had his entire cult leave behind their earth skins, like they were dry potato skins at TGIF’s that was lacking some sour cream, because Marshall Applewhite would be walking around right now gleefully, “Whody on First? Whatody on 2nd? I don’t knowody on third? Becausody is supposed to be in center, but Leody has replaced him.” That’s Marshall Applewhite, known Hale-Bopp comet and fantasy baseball lover. He called himself Bo and his co-leader called herself Peep (or vice versa, I don’t know), but it’s funny to think about the one guy in the cult who was prolly like, “Hey, uh, guys, Little Bo Peep is one character, and you’ve separated the names into two. It would be like two people renaming themselves Michael and Vincent after Jan-Michael Vincent.” Any hoo! Leody Taveras was a sleeper of mine last year; loved him because of his ability to hit for power and steal some bags, while having great contact, but that fish got flushed when he didn’t pan out. Hows’ever, Leody’s still only 23 years old, has 70-grade speed, surprising power, and he’s currently hitting. That’s right, he’s returned from the dead! (Like those Heaven’s Gate people anticipated.) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Have you ever been to Staten Island? Shame if not. It’s one of the best boroughs. Imagine if they built a pizzeria on top of a garbage dump. That’s Staten Island. On Staten Island, there’s a Mother Mary statue on every lawn, as far as the eye can see. On each Mother Mary statue, there’s garland and Christmas lights. All year around. If you were to turn on all those Mother Mary Christmas lights statues together, you could see them from the moon. The electric bill would be a fortune too, about as much to cover the gabagool expenses for the entire borough. Anyway, you take all those Mother Mary Christmas lights statues’ electrical power, and you still don’t have the power of Vinnie Pasquantino and the sheer electricity he brings. In 69 games — hey now! — of Triple-A, he had 18 HRs and a 12.2% strikeout rate. What is he, a power hitter that’s gonna hit .280? Mama mia, that’s Italian! His walk rate (12.5%) was over his strikeout rate! *pinching the cheeks of Vinnie Pasquantino’s player page* You’re so handsome! With Carlos Santana being traded to the Mariners — figured Carlos Santana would’ve went for a last hoorah in Philly with Rob Thomson, but oh well — Vinnie Pasquantino is worth a flyer for power in all leagues. It’s Vinnie Pasquantino PaiSZN! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to the first weekend in June, Razzenfants! The months of May and June are always interesting to baseball. The significance and rate of injuries seem to slow or plateau. The players finally seem stretched out and warmed up. You let your guard down, and then BOOM! Two guys on your team need Tommy John […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Louie…Kah-steel-yo…Cah-still-oh…Cah-stee-low…Lou-ess Cah-sty-lo. Did I get it? Was it in there somewhere? I took thirteen years of Spanish (as detailed in my ebook Who Is Grey Albright — available in our shop!) and my Anglo tongue can’t get Luis Castillo out (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.38) but he was sure able to get out the Red Sox yesterday! (You didn’t think I’d land that sentence as well as I did; admit it.) Going into Fenway and holding the Sawx to one hit and striking out 10 is something to make Daddy stand up and take notice. Luckily, I have a standing desk so I don’t need to hunch over to type this. Castillo’s had a strange journey from borderline ace to “Do I even want to draft him in a shallower league?” His 9.5 K/9, 2.7 BB/9, 2.89 xFIP in 26 2/3 IP is still a pretty small sample size — that’s what she said derisively! — but it’s the best his numbers have looked in any capacity for years. His velocity is pretty down, and, coupled with the shoulder soreness in March, I wouldn’t necessarily bet on it continuing, but better to be here than Berrios. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?