Blake Snell finally got his first win of 2022 Friday night pitching six strong innings, allowing just five base runners (three hits, 2 walks) and striking out 11 Giants. Blake’s only mistake was a David Villar solo shot in the fifth, whoever that is! Outside of the homer, Snell looked dominant (it’s gotta be the shoes!). He was dealing, especially with his breaking balls, generating 12 total whiffs on his slider and curveball. Paired with that high 90s fastball, mmhm, when Snell’s locating his pitches and throwing strikes he can look as unhittable as anyone in the game. This wasn’t just the first win for Snell, it was San Diego’s first win in the nine games Blake has started to date! Yup. Bro was due. Coming off an impressive showing at Dodger Stadium last week where he went five innings allowing just one run and striking out 12, there’s reason to believe there are sunnier days ahead–yes, even in San Diego where it’s literally always sunny. The 23 strikeouts in back-to-back starts is a career-best. He’s got a scary start at Coors next week but if he survives that it looks as if the ‘Dres are finally getting the Snell they traded for back in December 2020. Blake credited his success Friday night to his team jumping out to an early lead off Manny Machado’s 14th home run, a 3-run shot that allowed him to settle in and feel really confident. I still think it was the shoes. What else could it be!? I mean come on, the mismatched cleats are three times flame emoji and these unis are absolutely on fleek! Did I use that right? Doesn’t really matter, anyway here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Luis Castillo – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, ERA at 2.92. This game ended with a walk-off balk. Yes, the “balk-off” which actually sounds a lot more exciting than it looks. So if you spent the time to click and watch that video I’m sorry. Anyway, since allowing 4 ER to the Dodgers at the end of June, Luis has gone 20 IP with just 2 ER allowed and a 25/5 K/BB. He should be the gem of the trading deadline should any team *cough Dodgers cough* look to acquire him.

Nick Senzel – 2-for-3. He was a BUY! Yes, buy the post-post-post-post-post-hype for the 27 year-old. Like bumpin’ Kate Bush in 2022. He’s gotta be better than Jonathan India!

Brandon Drury – 1-for-4, HR (18). EIGHTEEN DINGERS! His second in the past week. What did you say your name was again? I have just one player on my team-team with more than 18 homers and that’s Rafael Devers. I won’t tell you who else is on this team because it depresses me.

Shane McClanahan – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Shane-O-Mac’s fifth straight start allowing a single run. Just one. That’s all you get from Shane! Note two of the starts in that stretch were versus the New York Yankees who often score more than one run. Also note he hasn’t gone less than six innings since early May, and has allowed more than three runs just once all year. He’s rocking a 1.73 ERA, 0.81 WHIP and he’s been so good it makes me angry–and I own him everywhere! Who you tryna impress, Shane!?

Raisel Iglesias – 0.2 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, BS. Gave up four straight hits with two outs to blow the save. But it was the O’s winning their sixth straight which is kinda fun so I ain’t mad at ‘cha!

Shohei Ohtani – 3-for-5, HR (19). Say it with me Jerry, SHO-HEI OH-TAAAAANI!! Top gun for sure. I bought a cowboy hat so I could feel like Shohei but cowboy hat does not a Shohei make. If he doesn’t start the all star game again beisbol is dumb, but no, let’s focus on Albert Pujols on Miguel Cabrera and not the guy in Anaheim changing the game.

Mike Trout – 3-for-5, HR (24), 3 RBI, SB (1). His first steal since May 10th of LAST YEAR! I remember, back in ought-12, he stole 40+ bases and we rode together to fantasy glory. That’s still the happiest I’ve ever been.

Reid Detmers – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 7 K. His first start back in the big since June 21st, which is odd because like, who else the Angels got that’s better than him? I can name Shohei and Thor then I draw a huge blank. Anyway, as is on-trend, Detmers had his slider working well Friday night and threw it about half the time. All the cool kids are doing it! Detmers should stick in the rotation after this but gets the Dodgers next week so I’d wait and see before adding.

Pablo Lopez – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 5 K, 6th win. Pablo had struggled in June with a 5.34 ERA so this was nice to see, especially against a  good team like the Mets. He gets a chance to pad his stats pre-break against the Pirates next time out.

Bryan De La Cruz – 3-for-3, 3 doubles, RBI. BUY. He’s got two bombs in the past week! And for those of you who don’t habla español, De La Cruz is spanish for “Of The Cruz.”

Chris Bassitt – 6.1 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 3 K. Activated from the COVID-IL, Bassitt brought that big fresh new antibodies energy, or BFAE.

Tanner Scott – 1.0 IP, K, SV (11). BUY. He was a BUY and if you need saves he’s not just the best Tanner you can grab on waivers, he’s likely the best definitely-the-closer maybe, could be, go-check, available.

Whit Merrifield – 3-for-4, HR (5), 2 RBI. 3-hit Whit! He’s got a Rapist’s Whit! That’s two homers and two steals in the past week! But the highlight was his 400+ foot bomb caught by the fan in his jersey who goes absolutely HAM. Whata moment.

Aaron Civale – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, 0 BB, 6 K versus Brady Singer – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 0 BB, 5 K. In the battle of pitchers I don’t really care to own but both probably should be, Singer prevailed. This was likely Civale’s best start of the year and could be worth a look versus the White Sox next week, same goes for Brady vs. Detroit! Gotta love the AL Central–great matchups for days!

Franmil Reyes – 1-for-4, HR (8), 2 RBI. Another shot! An oppo fieldo! His fourth in the past week! I’m so glad I didn’t drop you!

Nolan Jones – 2-for-3, RBI. A two-hit day for the rook in his MLB debut! Dynasty leaguers take note! Itch told you to stash him a week ago. I want to see a little more before I pounce but make no mistake, with a nickname like NoJo I am ready to pounce!

Jeimer Candelario – 2-for-4, HR (6), 3 RBI. Legs and arms bent back. Eyes white and lifeless. Oh no, he’s not breathing. It’s over–Vecna has won. Wait, Millie Bobby Brown, what are you doing is that–POWERS!? Why are you touching Jeimer Candelario!? Wait–he’s alive!

Eric Haase – 2-for-4, run. BUY. Can you Haase a catcher hitting over .400 with two bombs in the past week? Yes, you can!

Tarik Skubal – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, BB, 7 K, 6th win. Even Tarik can’t halt the Tigers roar! Detroit has won 6 in a row and even broke Skubal’s streak of 5 straight losses! As disappointing as Detroit’s season has been, the White Sox still insist you hold their beer.

Lucas Giolito – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Your team is hitting now, Lucas, didn’t you get the memo? It’s time for the surge! Time for you and your team to get on the same page for once!

Luis Robert – 2-for-5, HR (10), 2 RBI. A no-doubter! He hit the absolute stuffing out of the one. LouBob has at least held up his end of the bargain, it’s the rest of these jokers that need to get on his level.

Willy Adames – 1-for-4, HR (17), batting .208. I’ll take the 17 homers and ignore the batting average and at least try to be happy. At least that’s what my therapist recommends.

Diego Castillo – 1-for-3, HR (10), 2 RBI. Two dingers in the past week and five in the past two weeks. He doesn’t play every day but–wait, why the hell not!? Who else you got, you yinzers!? Who cares if he never walks? Your dog?

Aaron Ashby – 5.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, 2nd win. I keep going back to AA because I’m addicted to strikeouts and my guy says you might have some? I don’t care that he’s surrendered homers in six straight starts. Just gimme the Ks, man!

Josh Hader – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, BB, 2 K, SV (26). I ain’t tryna be a Hader, just letting you know dude has given up runs in three straight. His 26 saves leads the big leagues so I guess I don’t really care but if this is building to some epic meltdown I wanted to get it on your radar.

Adam Wainwright – 9.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, 7th L. The 24th complete game of his career. But he lost! Whata loser!

Zack Wheeler – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, BB, 5 K, 8th win, ERA at 2.46. I’ve tried so desperately to trade Zack this year, who’s been far and away my best starter. Maybe that’s my problem, doc? I keep pushing away everyone who’s trying to help me.

Alec Bohm – 2-for-3, 2 HR (6). Bohm dropping bombs! Kid’s got a hit in 10 of his last 11 including this 400+ foot beauty Friday night. Bohm’s away! Introducing the third baseman you’re gonna want on all your 2023 teams.

Brad Hand – 1.0 IP, SV (4). Gotta hand it to Brad, has converted four of his five chances and looks to be the leader in this committee, dot, dot, dot…for now.

Carlos Correa – 1-for-5, HR (10), 2 RBI. Hitting under .100 in July so this home run was a welcome sight. Just don’t look at home many Jeremy Pena has. I said don’t look!

Corey Seager – 2-for-3, HR (17), 3 RBI. Two homers in the past week, hitting close to .400. So yeah, the Rangers spent a ton of money in the offseason, and well, has that ever worked out well for them? See Rodriguez, A-rod. Regardless, Seager’s been fine, good even! Ain’t none of this on him.

Jon Gray – 5.1 IP, 9 hits, 3 ER, BB, 8 K, 5th win. Sonny Gray – 4.2 IP, 4 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB. In the battle of the Gray’s, well–you already know who wins. He writes the darn blog!

Jose Urquidy – 8.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, BB, 2 K, 8th win. This is exactly what you’re supposed to do when you’re facing the A’s. Thank you for doing your fantasy job, Jose.

Brett Martin – 1.0 IP, 0 hits, 0 ER, K, SV (1). First up in the Tejas closer carousel is Brett Martin! JKJ thinks Dennis Santana and Brock Burke could get chances, but Brett is the add for now. Check out the Bullpen Chart for constant updates–that’s what its there for!

Alex Bregman – 2-for-5, HR (11), 2 RBI. I think what’s getting lost in the stupid dumb Yankees stupid dumb historic season for jerks is what an absolute powerhouse Houston has been.

Jake Meyers – 2-for-5, run. He was a BUY because he’s in a Houston lineup that’s an absolute powerhouse. See above.


Zac Gallen – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, 3 BB, 7 K. Sheesh @KrisBryant I’ve been waiting all year to do that!

Josh Rojas – 2-for-2, HR (5), 2 RBI. Rojas are red hot! Dbacks fans are blue. Basically yeah. Josh is hitting .400 in the past week with two steals and leading off. Normally this would be a no-brainer, so why am I hesitating?

Nico Hoerner – 1-for-4, HR (5). BUY. I’m turned on enough, Nico, you don’t have to make me even Hoerner-ier!

Keegan Thompson – 5.2 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 8 K. In Dodger Stadium, too. Call me impressed. Just don’t call me Keegan, Michael Key might get upset.

David Robertson – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, 2 BB, BS. Loaded the bases in the ninth and gave up the game-tying sacrifice fly to Mookie Betts. Well, obviously! He’s Mookie Best!

George Kirby – 4.1 IP, 10 hits, 2 ER, BB, 4 K. To be fair, the Blue Jays are very good. But if Kirby is gonna suck this much I want it to be on my Nintendo DS.

Ross Stripling – 5.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, BB, 6 K. Big sale at Ross Stream for Less and he gets the Royals next week. Streamonator is meh on the start but I’m all about it!

Eugenio Suarez – 2-for-5, HR (15), 3 RBI. Walk off homer in the 11th, his second homer in as many days! Because Julio Rodriguez can’t do all the work.

Juan Soto – 2-for-3, HR (16), 2 RBI. Shimmy Shimmy Ya, you ol’ dirty b! More of this, please!

Charlie Morton – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, 5th win. After giving up 4 ER in 4 straight starts Charlie decided it was time to not stink anymore and has allowed just 6 ER in his last five starts (33.2 IP) with a 42/8 K/BB. Somehow he has just one win to show for it in that stretch but the Braves looking strong, ya’ll!

Erick Fedde – 3.0 IP, 8 hits, 8 ER, 3 BB, K. Fedde WHIPped.

Ronald Acuna Jr. – 2-for-5, HR (8), 3 RBI. Oh thank the lorde tilde, and thank you for this blessed shot Ronny. It’s been so long since I used that alt-164. I almost forgot about the rush it gives me! ñññ!

Matt Carpenter – 3-for-4, HR (9), 2 RBI. 9 of his 16 hits have been homers! Sweet sassy molassy! Get this man some mustache wax!

Trevor Story – 1-for-5, HR (15). Third homer in the past 7 days and he’s not even hot. Trust me, you’ll know when he’s hot.

Nestor Cortes – 3.2 IP, 8 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. No starter is safe in a July Yankees/Red Sox series at Fenway Park.

Josh Donaldson – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (9), 3 RBI, SB (2). His third straight game with a dinger and 10 RBI in the past week! No shock here that the racist feels right at home in Boston.

Jackie Bradley Jr. – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, 3 BB, K.  So the highlight for me Friday was JBJ striking out DJ LeMahieu, touching 92 on the gun at times. With how bad the Red Sox pen has been it definitely makes you pause for a sec  *thinking face emoji* how desperate are we really?

Matt Olson – 2-for-4, HR (13).  William Contreras also homered (11). So Matt’s got a long way to go to get to 40 but at least he doesn’t cry during every press conference.

Michael Harris II – 4-for-4, 3 runs, HR (7). Harris Teeter-ing on greatness! Michael Harris I am so proud right now. MH2 could be up for ROY honors if Spender Strider wasn’t a thing. Dude’s got 3 bombs, 7 RBI and 2 steals hitting .280 in the past week. That kind of across-the-board production can win your fantasy league, folks. If he keeps this up he’s a top 40 player next year and he’s dashing my hopes of drafting him late. That’s OK, I will reach for you MH2. Now someone tell me why is he still batting ninth?

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!