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Here you will find bullpen charts for each team. Bullpens are a messy business to track, but the purpose here is to highlight each team’s closer(s) and setup men. You can more or less expect the chart to read left-to-right in order of importance, but again, it can be a fluid situation day-to-day, week-to-week (looking at you, Tampa Bay Rays!). So, not only are we highlighting saves options, we’ve got you saves+holds folks covered, too! 

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What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time! And not just bullpen updates, but trade updates! Maybe even more action will go down today. It’s the trade deadline, if’n ya didn’t know’d it, but I betcha know’d it, didn’t ya? Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, […]

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I was doing fine without games every day. Thanks for checking in on me. *nervous giggle, looks into the mirror, laughs hysterically* I’m just fine! The other day at 7 PM EST, I took a magic marker and every few minutes I wrote on my computer screen, giving my fantasy team a run, RBI and the occasional home run. Sadly, even with my fantasy fantasy team accruing stats, Jonathan India went 0-for-5. Since there was only a handful of games this week and players haven’t been able to get hot or cold or humid, this Buy/Sell is going to be slightly different. This Buy/Sell includes some players that are owned in more than 50% of leagues. Okay, that’s not different for the Sells, but it does change the Buys. “Hello? No, I’m changing buys — B-U-Y-S. I wouldn’t dream of changing Bis. Thanks, you too!” That was GLAAD calling me about potential insensitivity. I have not triggered anyone in almost three days, unless you count that time yesterday I told someone in Vancouver that their country smells like maple syrup. That’s right, I’m in Canada, as you read this, so apologies for the excessive use of eh. I try to avoid making the Sell the same Sell as an Anime Grey video from our Youtube channel, but I gave you a video a couple weeks ago to sell Xander Bogaerts, and here I am again. Doing two Sells is like screaming-in-the-theater of Sell. I’m reading a sign that says “Ant farm” while snacking, making me a panicked picnicker. I got onomatopanic! As I went back to a few times before (maybe a zillionty or so times), if a player is not giving speed and power, that player is going to be lagging in fantasy value. Bogaerts is a laggard. Call him Lagaerts. Only he doesn’t just lack speed. He’s lacking power too! His name value is saying something completely contrary to his lived-in fantasy experience. I like him still for runs and RBIs, but you can find that elsewhere. I wouldn’t trade Bogaerts for a ride on the back of two men in a horse’s costume, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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If I was ever looking to control a key demographic of our articles, I believe the headline just reeled in all 16 of you!  For those of you that don’t have a clue what Saved By the Bell was a teen sitcom based around a group of high school friends.  These friends shared countless stories of heartbreak and humor and ultimately led to some amazing careers post recording.  The teen heart throb, Zach, has gone on to star in countless hits like Dead Man on Campus and Saved By the Bell: Hawaiian Style.  His love interest, Kelly Kapowski, was the first crush that many of us 40 year olds had growing up!  Vying for the love of Kelly opposite Zach was A.C. Slater.  A.C. was always cool, had some sick dance moves, and has led off for the Giants in his last 3 appearances vs LHP.  Oh wait, divergent stories!  

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

5. Stacy’s Mom
4. Maggie May
3. Hot for Teacher
2. Mrs. Robinson
1. Me and Mrs. Nolan Jones

Runners-up: Me and Mrs. Christian Yelich, Me and Mrs. Alek Manoah, and Me and Mrs. Mike Napoli. That’s not in no particular order. That is the order. Know it, learn it, love it, all the greatest songs on Cougar Love on your dial–Sorry, I heard they were starting a new Sirius channel for Cougar songs, and I was writing up my audition script to be their deejay. The older they get, the same age I stay. Any hoo! The Guardians called up Nolan Jones this past week, and he’s got huge power, a handful of speed and possibly can’t make contact. Here’s what Itch has said about him, “Lanky corner bat whose value is driven by proximity and patience. I’ve always been down on Jones, comparatively, because I’m not sure he’s aggressive enough within the strike zone to hang against guys who just don’t give you much to hit and aren’t going to walk you if you’re not going to swing. His numbers have always been padded by poor command at the lower levels, and he’ll simply need to adjust, which he started to do after a slow start in AAA. He finished with a functional .238/.356/.431 slash line along with 13 HR and 10 SB in 99 games, which isn’t great but would be an improvement on Cleveland’s outfield production over the past few years. Speaking of slashes, put me in the same room as Grey, please.” Okay, scary. I’d grab Jones for some possible power to see if he gets some run in the Cleveland outfield. Maybe me and Mr. Nolan Jones, Mr. Nolan Jones, Mr. Nolan Jones, can get a thing going on. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time! Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, but I stay on top of thangs for the most part). And directly below are your Top 10 most valuable RP over the last week, courtesy of our super cool and filterable Last […]

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Yerry De Los Santos is commonly known as Yerry Across The Mersey, and now that Esteury Ruiz seems on the precipice of being called up we have a new river. The best river since Alex Rios? Well, thanks for asking since I did major in geography at the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston. 1. Mickey Rivers 2. Alex Rios 3. Esteury Ruiz. 4. Dylan Bundy, who isn’t named for a body of water, but is always a streamer. Unranked: Drew Waters. You know how close those were though? It’s hard to fathoms. Damn, you walked into that one! For the Padres, Esteury was called up to the taxi squad in Colorado, and, with Profar out, Ruiz could be with the team at any moment. Why do we care? Okay, okay, wanna get to the meat, huh? He’s got 50+ steal speed! That’s it! It’s a wrap! Okay, he could hit 10 homers and .300. Whatevs! I don’t know why the Padres haven’t just put him on the squad already, but I bet it’s any moment. Grab him now, before it’s like trying to grab water out of a river. Poetic! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Razzlings, I am willing to bet at least a few of you that have watched and, perhaps, even enjoyed the 1996 film The Craft, starring the inimitable Fairuza Balk. Imagine a group of four Catholic high school girls begin to dabble in the dark arts. It begins innocently enough with spells for levitation, hair color […]

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Howdy, Razzfolks!

Thanks for stopping in for another update on all those dadblasted injuries going around. There’s some good news in the works for several players, but of course, we’ve had some Irritating List additions (can’t believe it’s taken me til mid-June to come up with that one) as well.

Trying a slightly tweaked format this week just to streamline the reading process a little. Organized by generic infielders/outfielders/starters/relievers subheadings and then alphabetized by first name.

And if you’re curious, it’s Four Roses neat bourbon tonight as I touch this up. First time having it, and I approve!

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Did anybody else forget that the Texas Rangers led the AL in wins last year? Because I do…early playoff exits, right Red Sox? I feel like I’ve never been so down on a winning program. The Rangers need pitching, and they need it bad. Despite finishing 7th in runs scored in all of the MLB, they barely had a positive run differential. The third worst team ERA in the AL will do that to ya. So all this to say, the Rangers need pitching, and they need it badly. Is there any help on the way from the farm system? That’s a good question, but unfortunately there’s only Yohander Mendez ready to make an impact this season, and how much of an impact he makes is up for debate. Most of the exciting arms in the Texas system are 2-3+ years away, at least. So they’ll have to look elsewhere for reinforcements. The system has been raided in recent years by promotions, and big trades to acquire, first Cole Hamels, and then Jonathan Lucroy, among others. In fact, four of the team’s last five first round picks have been moved over the last two seasons. So yeah son, the cupboard is bare. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the worst system I’ve ranked, but it could be in the bottom ten, and it’s certainly in the bottom half of the league. Have I got you excited to read this yet? Don’t worry, as a special treat for reading this, you get my Top 100 Prospects post coming Wednesday! However, for today it’s the Texas Rangers Top Prospects for 2017 Fantasy Baseball.

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