Please see our player page for Jackie Bradley Jr. to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Jordan Hicks sounds headed for Tommy John surgery with a torn UCL. This sucks; don’t get me wrong, but it’s amazing all the people shocked by this news just because the Cardinals said on Sunday it wasn’t serious. I wish I could be that uncynical. I wish I could see the birds chirping and not a bird nagging another bird to take out the trash, or see the flowers and not think, “I wonder who’s buried under there,” but alas…So, with Jordan Hicks out for the next 14-18 months, who will close?  Carlos Martinez has the makings of a two-inning closer, I guess, but, man or five women, it seems super dumb to continue Carlos Martinez down the closer route.  Don’t they want him to start again at some point?  John Gant’s been great until he defecated the sheet out of my fantasy bed on Sunday.  He might still get some looks.  Then there’s wild cards, Andrew Miller (if he were great like years past; he’s no brainer) and Tyler Webb, who is only in discussion because he got one save look the game where Hicks was hurt. I’d go C-Mart and Gant at 55% vs. 42% chance and everyone else at 3%. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe one day we will reminisce about Fantasy Master Lothario Grey Albright, his love for Boba, and how it was ultimately his undoing. That day however is not today, today we laugh at children, punch old women, and talk about Yordan Alvarez. Hey Dodgers fans, you traded him for Josh Fields… really! Anyway, it’s Week 12 of fantasy baseball and there is lots to discuss, including returning stars, injuries, Willie Calhoun, and why we kind of wish Shohei Ohtani didn’t pitch. Well, he’s not pitching now, but we mean, like ever. We answer some twitter questions on Scott Kingery and the Padres recently promoted Logan Allen. We then end the show with some waiver adds, and an embrace that lasts a little too long. This. Show. Has. It. All. It’s the latest episode of the Razzball Podcast. 

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As they say in Anaheim, “If you can’t get to see the Cherry Blossoms in Japan, you should get to see the Gin Blossoms in concert at the Hard Rock or Shohei Ohtani.”  One Anaheim-born woman, Gina, was so excited about Ohtani that she got a tattoo of the Japanese symbol for strength, that she later found out was a tattoo of Calvin pissing on a Grateful Dead logo. Gina did it in honor of Ohtani, so it’s still close to her heart, though mostly because it’s covering a third nipple.  Yesterday, Ohtani became the first Japanese born player to hit for the cycle, going 4-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs with his 8th homer.  The closest previous Asian cycle was Kurt Suzuki.  When Ohtani becomes Hot-tani, there’s few players that can match him for sheer excitement, though Ian Kinsler wears sheer pantyhose under his uni, if that counts.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sometimes on a FanDuel slate the starting pitchers aren’t the shiniest objects.  Yes, there are Aces, but first basemen are the main attraction.  The stats are just too compelling.  And when it comes to production stats, ISO (Isolated Power from Fangraphs), combined with our awesome Razzball tools, is the straw that stirs the drink.  That production leads to scoring on FanDuel, which leads to winning.  More after a word from our sponsor.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Going back to one of my old favorites, that I didn’t like for awhile, then did like, then loved, then hated, then should’ve loved but hated, then was nonplussed about, then Googled nonplussed to make sure I used it right, then thought about how I went through all of these emotions in, like, two weeks, then took a nap, then clapped my hands, then shot up out of bed and wrote a strongly-worded letter why there should’ve only been one season of Killing Eve, then scrubbed my undercarriage with my Q-Bert loofah and sat down to write about why you should buy Scott Kingery. In my head, I hear Tyler, the Creator, “I think I’m falling in love, this time I think it’s for real,” and he’s singing about Kingery, isn’t he?  I THINK so — Tyler’s caps, not mine.  From 2016 to 2017, Kingery made adjustments that led to more power, put his swing more in line with Alex Bregman:

That’s who I want him to be.  Put it out in the universe and it will come true, that’s The Secret.  Last year, he was beat by fastballs, sliders, cutters…Okay, you name it.  This year, he’s been positive on all pitches and he’s making way more hard contact.  Now, is most of this Buy simply because Odubel Herrera needs to go Saynerrera because he’s a knucklehead? Though, knucklehead might not be the best choice of words in this instance.  So, if nothing else, Kingery has short-term value because he should play every day for at least the next few weeks.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Carlos Correa hit the IL with a fractured rib, and will be out three to four weeks.  He suffered the injury from a massage.  Kinda makes you respect Bob Kraft more.  Correa, “That isn’t the bone I want yanked!”  Masseuse, “That is called The Bulgarian Tickler.”  You’d think a Correa’n could handle an Oriental massage. Or maybe we should be asking which Cardinals exec was working undercover as a masseuse?  This is why I just sit in a Brookstone chair for 45 minutes or until a store employee asks me to leave.  When Correa is picked 120-ish in 2020, he’s gonna be a bargain!  The Astros said to replace Correa and the already injured, Aledmys Diaz, they will go with Jack Mayfield and Myles Straw.  More like Jack Junefield!  Amiright?!  I need a nap.  *shuts eyes for five seconds, claps hands*  I’m back!  Mayfield’s tearing shizz up in the minors (10 HRs, .938 OPS), but the Prospectonator is meh on him.  As for Myles Straw, aka the Straw that stirs the Myles, looks like he has blazing speed and might hit .220 with no playing time. As a dolphin might sing at karoake, “STRAW! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!” Now bring up Kyle Tucker aka Crush Hour!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I hope everyone’s Memorial Day was filled with hot dogs, hamburgers, fireworks that were meant to be saved until July 4th but were blown off yesterday so close to your ear that you still have a ringing, and all the other red-white-blue American things one hears backstage at a Larry The Cable Guy concert.  My Memorial Day was filled with eating and burping and farting and wearing an American flag t-shirt, but that’s every Monday.  Eat a D, ISIS!  Yesterday, Gerrit Cole loved the troops more than most starters, posting a line of 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 4.02.  Woke SpongeBob, “Yo, dem high-ranked starters are da bomb dot org.”  Yo, WSB, you don’t sound so woke.  “Go f–k yourself.”  Wow, WSB, is lit!  Cole’s peripherals: 14.1 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, 2.22 xFIP and is technically the number one starter in all of baseball if his luck was neutral. Don’t love trading for a top starter, but it’s hard to find a better buy low right now, due to his ERA.  He could rattle off 120 innings of a sub-1 ERA.  That’s Murica thru & thru.  Not spelling shizz out is Murica too.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m like Neo dodging bullets, only instead of bullets, it’s bad pitchers.  Bends in slo-mo and avoids Ed-Rod, twists to the right and avoids Trevor Bauer, twists left and sees Jalen Beeks…Well, I’d never own him, so…Then again, he has been pretty good as the Malcolm for the Rays.  Ya know, their Middle man.  Oh, crap, I’ve been shot!  *dies in slo-mo*  Beeeeeeeeeeks!  *clutches chest, searches for bullet wound, can’t find it* I thought I was shot.  Oh, noooooooo!!!  It’s worse than I thought!  It was my fantasy team that was shot!  You could’ve avoided this whole megillah for the last, oh, I don’t know, 12 years, minus two random years in the middle (not Malcolm) if you just owned Justin Verlander.  Yesterday, he took a no-hitter into the 7th inning, and went 8 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.24, and on our Player Rater, he is the number one starter.  Barely as good as Tim Anderson, but, ya know, those are noogs for another day.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

To the Muppet Show theme song, “It’s time to face the music!  It’s time to say Asdrubal Cabrera is all right!  It’s time to meet the Rangers on the Rangers show tonight!”  Asdrubal Cabrera went 2-for-4 and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .222.  Guess you can say that was an Asdouble homer night!  Give me some skin up in the air!  No?  Okay.  Asdrubal went cold the past three weeks after having a hot two weeks prior, and it sounds like I’m writing his autobiography.  So, finally he said to his 4th grade gym teacher, “I will be someone one day,” and that teacher was Hunter Pence, who also hit a home run, his 9th as he hits .307.  Pence aka The Gangly Manbird aka the Zombino aka the inflatable wavy guy outside of a used car lot has six homers in the past 11 games.  He sure doesn’t stink, but you know who does?  Rougned Odor (1-for-4, 3 RBIs, hitting .169) hit his 7th homer.  Odor…Odor…Odor…Odor…*my back is pressed against a giant gym sock*…Odor!  Seriously, you know when 25 homers is not feasible?  When it comes with a .170 average. Pick up the pace, Odor, you odorous piece of pond scum!  All of this offense was plenty for Mike Minor (6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.51).  Nope, he’s not pitching as well as his ERA indicates, but at a certain point you have to say to yourself, “Do I want some flashy FIP, which I don’t even fully understand, or do I want to win my league?”  But those runs were only barely enough for Clocks singer, Chris Martin (1 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.66). Bring back the South African dictator, Leclerc, which I say quietly to myself, so no one gets the wrong impression. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jacob deGrom.  That almost says it all.  Sure, he’s 2-4 with a 3.60 ERA this year on the whole.  But in the month of May he is back to his dazzling self: 1.24 ERA, 13 Ks, 3 BB in 14 innings.  And if that wasn’t enough, he’s toeing the rubber against the 30th ranked run scoring team in the majors.  Not only are the Florida Marlins the 30th ranked offense, they’re a full 20 runs behind the 29th ranked Detroit Tigers.  That’s worse than the lazy plot devices going on in Game of Thrones!  The Marlins are so bad, and deGrom is so good, the Mets are favored at -410.  A whole season goes by and you don’t see a line like that.  He’s expensive ($11,300), but there is no surer thing on FanDuel this year than deGrom against the Marlins.  Of course, there’s more than one way to skin a FanDuel lineup, so on to the picks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?