Please see our player page for Keegan Thompson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

It’s time for another rousing edition of Getting Ahead In Head To Head.  As we enter the dog days of Summer, it’s really time to grind out those wins and stay ahead of the competition.  Side note—Why do they call them the “dog days of summer”.  I am rather partial to dogs and find them to be comforting and kind.  There is nothing about the 99-degree days with 70% humidity in St. Louis that I find neither comforting nor kind.  On a positive note with the MLB, it does appear that with the rise in temperature, there is also a rise in the offense.  Batting averages are up nearly .20 points since April and there were roughly 1200 more runs scored in May than in Mar/Apr combined.  

So what does this have to do with head-to-head baseball? Not really anything, but it shows that attention to offense is paramount.  Use this time to make sure that you put the best players in a situation to succeed. Yes, I know that this is pretty generic information, but I can speak out of personal experience.  I have had Myles Straw in my lineup way too much and should have heeded my own advice.  While I am not saying to bench your studs because they have a tough matchup, but there are times when a “gut” call is necessary.  Let me be the rumble in your stomach and play the role of your “gut”.  But if you happened to have Taco Bell last night, that isn’t me talking, get to the bathroom!

Without further ado, let’s Get Ahead In Head To Head, Week 11 edition!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So last week we decided to go hunting for mushrooms, Morel to be specific, and it appears we stumbled upon a few.  It was very nice to see the Farmer produce.  (Get it…Farmer/Produce). I’ll keep the comedy to the internet trolls whose keyboard commando skills rival no one.  It may be a little early, but even Stripling had a fantastic 1st start with his next start still TBD.  

Yes, it would appear that I am simply patting myself on the back, but for each nut that this blind squirrel finds, there is a Keegan Thompson start to bring me back to Earth.  Let’s be honest, we got lucky that Kimbrel’s wife went into labor so that Daniel Hudson could pick up a few saves.  With that being said, I focus my attention on Week 9 and which players/schedules are designed to help you Get Ahead In Head To Head.  And without further ado, let’s go from hunting shrooms to hunting for “he who dealt it”!

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To try to appeal more to teenage boys, the Rangers should install a giant lotion bottle in center field, and each time Marcus Semien homers, it explodes with lotion onto the fans in the bleachers. Yesterday, there would be a lot of facials from Semien, as he went 7-for-8, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and a triple slam (4, 5, 6) and double legs (9, 10). Halleberrylujah. That might actually be the single greatest day ever. Could Semien be coming out of his early-season funk like Jason Biggs once came out of a tube sock? Okay, those other words were likely avoidable. Is Semien about to explode? Again, avoidable! Is Semien about to explode in a good way in all his glory, whole and pulsating. Okay, more very avoidable words! Here’s what I thought on our Youtube channel. Click that and click subscribe so I can feed my children (Ted, a dog).

Before you say, this rooster, Grey, is caca-cuckoo crazy. Entering yesterday’s games, he had an expected batting average of .201, and one of the worst exit velocities in the major. Everything across the board on his page is saying he really was this bad. Not unlucky. Could he turn it all around? Does Marcus Semien sound like a bath towel that you tell your mom you got paste on? Yes and yes! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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With the most sincere apologies, I am back for Week 8!  Last week, my wife and I took a much-needed vacation to Sin City.  With respect to my wife, I probably should have stayed at home and written last week’s article instead of dropping way too much money at the casino.  

At week’s end, we will be 1/3 of the way thru the fantasy season, and the next 8 weeks will go a long way in determining your outcome.  With each week that passes, there are a handful of managers that either decides it is football season, or that they are just too far out of contention.  As I learned in Vegas, the hard way, don’t hit on two Queens.  Take this advice with a grain of salt, but it should give you some good guidelines to adjust your lineup.  Don’t overthink it!

As with each week, let’s take a look at the schedules and players that will help you Get Ahead In Head to Head for Week 8!

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The doubleheader in the Bronx started with Ohtani taking on Nestor. The hype, the excitement, the mustache! It was all there. Then the nightcap, what could it do to top such intrigue?! What, I scream at my ceiling. The nightcap ended up being a very stiff shot of Jameson. Did I do that, right? I haven’t drank in, like, ten years, I forget the terminology sometimes. Jameson Taillon took a perfect game into the 8th inning, ending the game with the line — 8 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at…What’s his ERA? Go ahead. Guess! You know him! Let’s hear your best guesses! Please, indulge me! Imagine dopey guesses as little chocolate truffles. Roll them in cocoa powder and pop them into my mouth for my consumption. WRONG! He’s got a 2.30 ERA. You were two runs off. At least! No? Then you’re rostering him. So, Taillon is doing it with pinpoint control — 5 BBs in 58 2/3 IP — and that’s coming with almost identical stats from previous years minus some Ks. Elite command can carry a guy pretty far. Maybe not as far as a 2.30 ERA in 170+ IP, but won’t be much worse than 3.50 if he holds that kind of command. That Jameson can scotch tape together a lot fantasy staffs if you’re looking to Taillon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kyle Tucker (2-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer) has three asses, because he’s — count them with me now — an unassuming assassin.

That photo of him brings me so much joy. He’s like, “I’m on your fantasy team? Okay, cool.” He looks like he just let out a fart, and only he knows it. Using one of his three asses, I presume. This Kyle Tucker assault was brought to you initially by Nathan Eovaldi (1 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.32) as he gave up five homers, all in the 2nd inning. Apparently, Manfred tried to work the 2019 ball back into circulation. Also, in this game, not simply Eovaldi — Nothan? Novaldi? Meh, maybe now’s not the time for portmanteaus — Yordan Alvarez (2-for-4, 3 runs) hit his 12th homer. Captain Woo Cubano gonna star in Dongs Just Wanna Have Fun; Yuli Gurriel (2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 3rd, and 3rd homer in the last five days for the smoldering schmotato; Jeremy Pena (2-for-5) hit his 7th for a nice welcome-back-old-friend to the lineup and to the New England area (he’s from Are-Eye); Michael Brantley (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer, and I just thought of something, everyone on the Astros is better than that former Astros player Carlos Correa. Bummer for him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Cubs RHP Cam Sanders listens to Parliament between innings to maintain his mothership connection. He shakes out a little aqua boogie before and after every pitch, and it’s working for him. If you want your funk funked up, grab a flashlight and take a look. Sanders is doin’ it in 3D. He’ll put a glide in your stride and a dip in your hip. Might even tear the roof off the sucker when he makes the show. His stuff has always been good, but like a lot of young Cubbies, he’s added velocity over the past few seasons and harnessed that stuff at AA this season better than he has before, posting a 25% K-BB rate and a 1.00 WHIP in six starts. He’s yet to debut at AAA, but I’m hoping he pitches Friday when I get down to Des Moines to watch the I-Cubs. Feet don’t fail me now! 

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Welcome to week 4 — the week where all the data finally makes sense and the futures of every player become written in stone! Not really — that’s kind of the wonky thing about baseball — it might take years to make effective predictions about player performance (see Greinke comma Zack). For me, May is where I start to vaguely pay attention to baseball again because the stats are meaningful again. DFS becomes a bit more predictable, and the rest of us fantasy ballers (Grey’s mom’s word) are ready to spew out meaningful and actionable takes. Like, “Sit that clown Lucas Giolito! I kid, I would never bad-mouth a White Sox player [stares at Dylan Cease]. 

Let’s learn about some interesting players! 

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I’ll be honest: a lot of the job of a fantasy sports writer is constrained by search engine optimization and giving audiences what they expect. This article, for example, is ostensibly about starting pitchers. But what *is* a starter, anyway? So many teams are using openers now. So many teams are letting pitchers go 4.2 IP, or piggybacking, or bullpen games, or long reliever, or, or, or. And tee-bee-ache (pronounce that last word softly, like you’re staring longingly into its eyes waiting for the next clause), starters don’t require a mass of innings pitched to be effective for fantasy baseball. In 2021, Corbin Burnes finished SP5 with 167IP, Carlos Rodon SP10 with 132IP, Jacob deGrom SP13 with 92IP (!), Freddy Peralta SP14 with 144IP, and so on. Unless you’re in one of those quality starts league — which I established in the pre-season were just different ways of slandering a Win — you could really roll with any number of “pitchers,” broadly speaking, and do fine.

Please, blog, may I have some more?