Welcome to my weekly waiver wire FAAB column! We are going to dive into the meaning of Oswaldo Cabrera drawing the Opening Day left field assignment over Aaron Hicks’ lifeless corpse and the amount of your waiver budget to possibly blow on Graham Ashcraft and his filthy Corbin Burnes-esque stuff. For some basic understanding and […]
Today concludes the fantasy baseball sleepers‘ portion of our program. *nudges homeless woman sleeping on my couch that I tried to get Cougs to agree to a threesome with* No more sleepers, Francine. Meh, I’ll let her rest. Like the 3rd basemen to target, 2nd basemen to target or outfielders to target, this post is necessary. You need to target the right names at the end of the draft for starters. Last year’s starters to target post included Tony Gonsolin, Jordan Montgomery, Cristian Javier, Joe Ryan and Hunter Greene. They’ve moved way up ranks this year with one making the jump to my top 20 starters. As I always say, starters are available later. As with other target posts, these guys are being drafted after the top 200 overall. Also, all Steamer hitter projections are updated just about every day (mostly small adjustments), and all 2023 fantasy baseball rankings are updated. Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2023 fantasy baseball:
It was a wild offseason for the National League, one highlighted by Trea Turner’s lucrative ($300 million) transition from the Dodgers to Phillies, along with fellow shortstop Xander Bogaerts’ introduction to the NL, via the San Diego Padres and $280 mil of his own. Two of the absolute best shortstops in the game are anchored […]
Looking at the overall 2023 fantasy baseball rankings, the top 80 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball is from around 200 overall to 275 overall, which is just about the end for 12-team mixed leagues. This is your late fourth, mostly fifth thru the beginning of the sixth starters. This is just about it for 12 team leagues, though the last tier in this post is still in 12-team league territory, so you’ll have to wait until the next post to finish off that tier. Don’t worry, on that next post, I’ll be by with another 70-ish pitchers for those in deeper leagues, and/or dynasty and keeper leagues. Or for those that just like to read about fantasy baseball while the world burns around them. I fall into that latter camp. Our subscriptions are up and running, and that comes with our online Fantasy Baseball War Room — now for auction drafts, AL-Only, NL-Only, Best Ball and more. Here’s Steamer’s 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2023 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2023 fantasy baseball:
NOTE I: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.
NOTE II: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.
Which makes it so weird that they’re going to Wandy Peralta with the ALCS on the line. Wait, ever since I bought this DeLorean off eBay I have no idea what time I’m in. Is this October of 2023? *looks down* Oh, I’m wearing a loincloth. I know when I am now. It must be in the 70’s in the San Fernando Valley. Carlos Rodon became a jewel in my crown of lovelies this past season. I didn’t want him, but Donkey Teeth insisted we draft him in our Main Event, and I fell in love. That Donkey Teeth also had us draft Maikel Franco is another thing entirely. He’s truly special when he’s healthy. Uh, Rodon, not Maikel or Donkey. Last year, his 12 K/9, 2.6 BB/9, 2.91 xFIP (!) tells pretty much the whole story. His HR/9 was .6, and that might go up, as he does give up a decent number of fly balls. But it is a ton of weak contact, 290-foot outs. Wait, you can get 290-foot home runs in Yankee Stadium. He’s going to be great in the AL East, in Yankee Stadium, everywhere. As long as he’s healthy. If healthy, yes. That’s the riddle that we don’t know, like why did E.T. want to phone home? You can’t call other planets. E.T. was dumb if you ask me. For 2023, I’ll give Carlos Rodon projections of 16-4/3.03/1.05/224 in 169 IP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to announce that I’ve begun to roll out my 2023 fantasy baseball rankings on our Patreon. It’s an early Hanukkah miracle! Or late Hanukah miracle, depending on when Hanukkah is this year. The Jews should really decide on one day to start Hanukah each year, and stick with it. It’s better for branding. Anyway II, the roundup:
Jerry Tomato Realmuto (5-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer, hitting .278) is leading the pack for catchers once again on the Player Rater. Jerry Tomato, just sitting on the top of the heap, telling everyone to ketchup. The cream of the crap hasn’t smelled this bad in a while. Salvador Perez flew so close to the sun last year, that Sal Icarus made us forgot what good catchers are actually capable of when they’re being nice, good little catchers. J.T. Realmuto reminding us that 20-something homers and a .275 average is all you can hope for. Ha, that sounds so nihilistic. German accent, “Das nein else to hope for. Das boot catchers. Excuse me, not boot, how do you say in English das punt. Yes, dat one.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Julio Rodriguez (2-for-3, 2 runs) slammed (26) and leggsed (25) his way to history. Arod once went 40/40 for them, which begs the question, “Why don’t the Mariners sign more Rodriguezes?” Didn’t they learn from Baltimore when they stopped signing Robinsons? So, Julio Rodriguez becomes the fastest to 25/25 in just 125 games, beating Mike Trout (128 games), and Julio Rodriguez becomes the fastest to be the apple of my eye. The bounce in my step. The who in my ha. The cha-ching on my register. The Chachi on my Happy Days. The hill in my soap box derby. The wind beneath my Barbara Hersey wings. The TV without the motion smoothing. The cooler that holds a backup kidney if I need one. Belting at the top of my lungs, “You are my sunshine. My only sunshine!” BDon and I talk in the video at the top of the page about where do Aaron Judge and Shohei Ohtani fall in the 2023 fantasy baseball drafts, but Julio Rodriguez in 2023 fantasy? Is he any later than top 5? Before or after Judge? Ohtani? I’m not trying to commit just yet, but they’re all gonna be in that general vicinity. “General vicinity” is a fantasy baseball ‘pert’s greatest hedge. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Reds rookie starting pitcher slash heartthrob Nick Lodolo turned in what was likely his best start of the season Friday night pitching a career high eight innings of two-run baseball, allowing just five hits, and striking out 11 (ELEVEN) Brewers in Milwaukee to notch his fourth win. Nick generated 20 whiffs on his mid-90s fastball […]
About a month ago, we joined hands in a prayer circle and prayed to the Ghost of Tommy John that he wouldn’t claim the elbows of any of our fantasy starters. So far, so good. Tommy John must have approved of our sacrifice of Coolwhip and offerings of Orange Julius! Thank you for your service to Razzball, Whip, and please don’t haunt us. We were just trying to win! But for real, Whip is alive and kicking and that Orange Julius in fresh in my hand, ready for slurping through a hot dog straw.
The majority of y’all who are still attending my weekly starting pitcher therapy sessions are here because you’re in the fantasy playoffs. If so, drop me a line in the comments and let me know what you need, friend! For everybody else, I assume you’re here either because of inertia, my jokes, or you just want to see if I somehow lose my sanity and tell you to spend all of your dynasty bucks on Sandy Alcantara. The latter will never happen.
Let’s jump in and see what we can do for your fantasy playoffs!
Hola, fellow español speakers! Today’s word is Triston Casas (1-for-4)! Let’s break it down into parts! Triston is pronounced Tris like a Tris Speaker. Not the old-timey baseball player, but like a speaker who is saying the word Tris. Next part is ton like, “I ate a ton of churros and now I am sneezing cinnamon sugar.” Say the last name with me now…Ca-thathss. The last part you say like a Spanish snake. Like a snake you find in the desert outside of Barth-a-lona. A snake with a lisp. Try the whole thing now, Triston Cathathss. Bueno! *maracas around room* Cathathss! Cathathss! Cathathss! So, yesterday or today or last week doesn’t really matter for when the Red Sox called up Triston Casas, but if you think he was called up on Sunday simply because now he’s earned his place, like he got the ring from Gollum and deposited in the mouth of some volcano or whatever that quest was of those hill trolls, you’re sadly mistaken. Triston Casas has been ready for a while, but baseball is still broken for when prospects are called up. Rather than change the world’s problems today, let’s look at Triston Casas. Hey, what do you know, I already gave you my Triston Casas fantasy! So ridiculous that I figured (correctly) he’d have 300+ ABs this year. Because he’s been ready! If you don’t care what I say, here’s what Itch said, “Triston Cases has learned late at-bat traits to help him hang against a variety of experienced pitchers, and perhaps he’s carried some of those hang-in-there strategies to early-count situations against pitchers he’s never seen before. Whatever it is, I like it. Unlike Grey, who I hate.” Really not cool! I’d grab Triston Casas in every league. He’s got elite approach and power. For what he will do the final month? No one knows, because it’s a small sample, but worth finding out. Finally, Casas is home. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)
“The best part of any candy bar is the stuff inside the chocolate, so I want a candy bar where the nougat, cookie wafer, crushed peanuts are on the outside of the chocolate. Mouth feel matters too, so the crunchy bits on the outside need to have a soft, chewy texture. Swiss and dutch chocolate are for losers. This candy bar needs to made in The Lou, so I want Missouri chocolate. What is Missouri chocolate? Whatever Willie McGee likes. Willie, please wave.” Willie McGee waves from the back corner of the conference room. We see now Lars Nootbaar holds court in front of the Lars Caandy people. He continues, “Also, I want it to be written “caandy baar” on all the bars. Two A’s, so we need to change all signage around this 5-mile-wide candy empire, that I’ve cordoned off with traffic cones. If you want to work for Kit Kat, get out now! The door’s over there! The only Snickers I want to hear about are chuckles at the water cooler when Willie McGee makes a joke! Do you understand me?” Lars is now screaming into one exec’s face, who is beginning to cry. “Wipe those tears from your face, and go make me a candy bar! Two A’s!” Lars Nootbaar isn’t just a demanding candy CEO, building a nougaty empire, he’s also been one of the hottest bat in the majors for the last month. On the 30-day Player Rater, he’s in the top 40 overall, and he’s now leading off on most days vs. righties. Since the Cards are famous for creating players, it’s only appropriate that they went into a 7/11’s candy aisle and got an idea. This hot Nootbaar won’t melt in your hand, or your fantasy team, so grab him, before he quits baseball to be a full-time candy CEO, like Willy Wonka, who was originally drafted to be a closer, until he discovered he was better stopping Gobs. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Last week was one of my best weeks of the year! We had most of our streamers go off, and it’s becoming clear that fantasy managers are sleeping at the wheel. The ownership percentages are far too low for many of these guys because numerous fantasy managers have checked out at this point. That makes […]
For the cost of a cup of coffee (if you go somewhere they charge $7 for coffee), you can have a month-long subscription, and find out why we have Main Event, overall DC, Tout Wars and LABR winners as our members for our daily projectionshttps://t.co/1ag7IFSYS0