My prospect writer and your prospect writer, sittin’ by the fire, your prospect writer say Elko gonna set my fantasy roster on fire. Talkin’ hey now (hey now), hey now (hey now), Elko, Elko, Elko ahem, he’s a jock-but-how-mo FAAB would ya spend on him? Happy Mother’s Day to our five lady readers. Your eyeballs are in good hands when you’re reading me. Is Tim Elko (1-for-3 and his 1st homer) a modern-day Bill Hall, or is there more here for future use, after he was called up by the White Sox. In Triple-A, he hit 10 homers in only 31 games this year, but he’s 26 with a 28.5 K%, so he will hit .200-ish in the majors. Feels like an AL-Only grab, a deeper mixed league gamble for power, but just a batty call streamer for shallower leagues for now. Talkin’ hey now (hey now), hey now (hey now), Elko, Elko, he’s a jock-but-no-mo FAAB no nah-nay. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Shane Smith – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.08. The regression is going to come so hard and fast for Smith, it’s gonna be like he’s Armie Hammer with a human limb.
Sandy Alcantara – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 8.10. When you’re getting hit around by the White Sux, it’s time for an Ineffective List stint, or he just really wants to stay on the Marlins.
Casey Mize – Hit the IL with a mild hamstring strain. Sounds super minor. In fact, if you put your ear to it, it sings the “Aaaaaaaaa minor” part of Not Like Us.
Jack Flaherty – 3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.61. He allowed four homers and my neck hurts from the FIPlash. Also, one of those homers was to Josh H. Smith, my Friday Buy, for the Dohmer. Look at me doubling up on the glossary!
Reese Olson – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.38. On Mother’s Day, it’s a lot different when you’re regressing and being spanked.
Nathan Eovaldi – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.78. Find someone who loves you like Eovaldi loves pitching on my fantasy teams! Oh, he knows! Don’t let him fool you! That’s why he’s pitching so well.
Jacob deGrom – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.72. Has been very solid, and guess where he is on the Player Rater. I’ll make it easy for you, better or worse than his ADP? Bzzt, wrongo! He’s worse. Not awful by any stretch, but people forget how tough it is to be valuable as a starter. Even the best get zero saves, and wins are totally out of their control, then throw in the injuries.
Marcus Semien – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Marcus reminded us all that without Semien, there’s no Mother’s Day.
Josh Jung – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. Rangers have a fairly decent lineup, and they insist on batting their worst hitter, Joc Pederson, third. It’s almost like Bruce Bochy’s head is too big for his brain.
Jonah Heim – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .266. Hit ’em with the Heim!
Drew Rasmussen – 5 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.38. Maybe it’s selective memory, but I seem to get more Rasmussen questions than most starters. He should be rosterable and solid for the 100 or so innings he can throw.
Tobias Myers – Optioned to the minors. Thank you, brain, for studying how to spell Jacob Misiorowski! What’s that, Brandon Woodruff is returning this week? No!!! I can only remember how to spell Misiorowski for so long! You have to call him up! I must flex my Misiorowski muscle or it will slacken!
William Contreras – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .237. Like a truck driver, his middle finger quiets the haters.
Christian Yelich – 2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (7) and legs (8), hitting .208.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there, but especially Christian Yelich’s mother!
— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) May 11, 2025 at 12:40 PM
JP Sears – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.80. No idea if he can keep this going in Bing Bong Stadium, but, under the hood, his stats look great. And that’s me reading into Sears, but stopping just short of Chapter 11.
JJ Bleday – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer. Still waiting for him to get hot, I might be the only one.
Ben Rice – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer, hitting .260. Guess who was hitting leadoff in front of Judge yesterday.
Aaron Judge – 4-for-5, 2 RBIs, hitting .409. If Judge is so good, why’d the Yanks replace him in this game with Pablo Reyes? Hmm?
AJ Smith-Shawver – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER. 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.76. If only every two-start week can work out that prettiful (made-up word of the day!). Streamonator actually loves his next one too, so I am gonna let it ride, and watch as it bites the keister.
Carmen Mlodzinski – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 5.20 vs. Chris Sale – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.97. This matchup was billed as, “A Sale on consonants.”
Cade Horton – 4 IP, 3 ER, as he was called up and followed an Opener. Just gave you my Cade Horton fantasy. It was written while writing more about a Pope than a fantasy sports site has ever before.
Porter Hodge – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 4.24, and his 2nd save on Saturday, then 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.71, and disaster on Sunday, as he opened the 8th. Wait, there’s less clarity still! Pressly’s getting looks in the 6th when down by five. If I had to guess, I’d say Hodge over Pressly, but neither is also a fair answer.
Pete Crow-Armstrong – 1-for-4 and his 10th homer, now hitting leadoff. It’s gonna be hard for his value to take a complete nosedive if he stays at leadoff. PCA to the moon!
Tylor Megill – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.10. He was never going to be a 2.50-ish ERA pitcher; this is just normal regression, and nothing to worry about. Yes, I’m trying to convince myself.
Brett Baty – Hit his 3rd and 4th homers on Saturday, then didn’t start on Sunday. If him and Mark Vientos (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, 5th homer) are platooning, then neither of them are worthwhile in shallower mixed leagues, i.e., I’ve finally given up on Vientos, just as he homers.
Brandon Nimmo – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .224. Nimmo found one!
Francisco Lindor – 2-for-4 and his 9th homer, hitting .301. Mean’s while, Juan Soto (0-for-4) hits .252. Mean’s mean’s while, Pete Alonso hits .320. .372 OBP for Soto vs. .434 for Alonso too. Early season still, but weird things going on with Sexy Dr. Pepper.
Cole Ragans – 5 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.20. It’s apropos that Ragans’s year is forgettable.
Rafael Devers – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, hitting .280. On his home run trot, he refused to touch 1st base.
Wilyer Abreu – 3-for-4 and his 10th homer. It’s like, “Yes, Devers hit his 7th! Woo hoo!” Tap, tap, nudge, nudge, kazoo. “Um, Wilyer has 10 homers.” Don’t worry, everyone looks better than Gunnar.
Lucas Giolito – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 1 walk, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.96. He’s doing Saberhagenmetrics to the extreme. One good start, followed by one bad start, followed by one good start. Caution ahead for his next one.
Landen Roupp – 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.95. Three Ks? Is he trying to make his underlying stats not as good?
Logan Webb – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.60 vs. Joe Ryan – 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.74. This matchup was billed as, “The Asian podcaster for disillusioned young men, Joe/Logan.”
Heliot Ramos – 2-for-2, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. That’s Heliot Ramos, preseason sleeper, and schmotato, if nothing else.
Ryan Walker – 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 6.43, and blown save. It’s bizarre how loyal the Giants have been to a closer who has not been good. I don’t fully understand it.
Brooks Lee – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .253. They Call Him Brooks Lee!
Zach Eflin – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.13 as he was activated from the IL. Hopefully your fantasy team is less reliant on Eflin than the O’s, who are almost entirely reliant on him.
Gunnar Henderson – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, 2nd homer in three games. That’s right, shut me up! Please, shut me up!
Tyler Anderson – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.58. Two point five eight. Incredible. Ridiculous, even.
Dylan Moore – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer, hitting .282, as he hits 9th. Struggling to not think about how Dylan Moore has been so much better than Gunnar. And failing!
George Springer – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .297. Power is kinda bleh, the average is crazy for what he’s been doing the last few years. What’s even crazier is his Ks are way up and his BABIP is approaching .400.
Bryce Miller – 5 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.22. He’s totally broken. Needs an IL stint or a long think on waivers.
MacKenzie Gore – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.59. 73+ Ks in nine starts in Nats/Expos’ history: Scherzer, Strasburg, Pedro Martinez and Gore.
Nolan Arenado – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. I know your allergies are bad, so I bought you these beautiful dried flowers with the pollen tweezer’d out. Here, there over by this open window–NOOOO!!! Torenado!
Lars Nootbaar – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .244. Sometimes you feel like a Noot, sometimes you don’t.
Willson Contreras – 2-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .255. Elias Sports Bureau said, “Yesterday, the Contreras brothers homered on the same day for the first time since the last time they did.”
Ranger Suarez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.91. Not even gonna complain about a sonavabench on this one. Had to bench him after his 1st start, and I’m glad he looked better. Check me out, I almost sound like an adult.
Kyle Schwarber – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 13th and 14th homer. This is all amuse bouche for Schwarber’s June.
Jordan Romano – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 8.79, and his 3rd save, as Alvarado (1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.84) worked the bottom of the order and the 8th. Romano supposedly was tipping his pitches, they fixed the issue and he’s been a 1.45 ERA pitcher since April 20th. Tend to think the Phils do want Romano as the closer, so. Dot dot dot. I don’t know, maybe.
Tanner Bibee – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.80. Crazy how awful his peripherals are. Not a reason to give up on him, at least not in most leagues, but it’s more of a Cust kayin’.
Jake Fraley – Hit the IL with calf tenderness. Ooh, some daylight for Hinds–Wait, the Reds just traded for Connor Joe for no reason. Ugh, be Hinds, that’s where the sun don’t shine.
Chase Petty – 3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 21.94. While Greene is nursing his groin — hey ayo! — Petty could be in the rotation. Here’s what Itch said previously, “At 6 ‘1” 190 lbs, Petty features a wipeout slider and demonstrates an aptitude for spin that portends well for his year over year development. The 26th overall pick by Minnesota in 2021, Petty was sent to Cincy in the Sonny Gray trade the following March. He’s been effective as a Red, improving his command and limiting home runs against mostly older hitters and setting himself up for a rotation spot early in 2025, and I’m hiding under Grey’s bed, waiting for him to sleep.” What on earth. Petty has big stuff, but his lack of command scares me for mixed leagues.
Yainer Diaz – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer. I know the power’s been a little wanting, but he’s hitting near-.400 in May. Patience, grasshopper, and you non-grasshopper readers.
Ronel Blanco – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 4.04. In one league, I had to choose between Bowden Francis and Ronel, dropping one. I chose Ronel because eeny meeny miney and/or moe have never let me down. He’s pitching nearly identical to last year, just without the luck. Don’t fully trust Ronel, but Streamonator loved yesterday’s start, and hates his next.
Lance McCullers – 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 15.75. Lance, a small incision in the skin to drain pus. Alternate definition, a pitching performance that makes draining pus sound like a walk in the park.
Corbin Burnes – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.95. I guess his shoulder was fine. Burnes is the 1st Dbacks pitcher to throw 7+ scoreless innings since Ryne Nelson on July 30th 2024. “Every team should have at least one of those per month, no?” That’s 2012 Me. 2002 Me couldn’t care less, smoking a blunt saying, “If 2012 Me cares about how long a starter goes in a game, I will so punch myself.” 1992 Me is like, “What’s a Diamondback?”
Freddie Freeman – 4-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer, hitting .376. That’s it, going to get in on Freeman next year, when he finally collapses.
Mookie Betts – 3-for-5, 3 runs and his 6th homer, hitting .272. Mookie Best!
Tony Gonsolin – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.81. Not only should he be rostered, he’s easily better than Roki.
Stephen Kolek – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 0.00, as the Suckies were shutout 21-0. Streamonator doesn’t love Stephen Kolek, but he gets the M’s at home next time, and I’m winning to risk it.
Nick Pivetta – 4 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.05. …and that’s why I still don’t trust starting pitchers in Coors.
Hunter Goodman – 3-for-5. 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 6th homer. He’s starting every day, either at catcher or DH. In Coors for half his games. This is as no-brainer as catchers get.
Ryan McMahon – 2-for-3, 3 runs and his 6th homer, and 3rd homer in the week. Schmotato, I guess, but if the Suckies are going to be away from Coors, I wouldn’t start McMahon.
Bud Black – Fired by the Rockies. Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, I’m free of Bud Black at last! The Bud Black error is over! That’s not a typo of era! Rockies’ new manager is Warren Schaeffer. Who? Some-effer I’ve never heard of, which is a welcome change! Now the Rockies need to fire the GM, then make the owner the GM, and fire the GM again.
