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The top of the 2nd base pool is funky as all get-out, and I wish a lot of these guys would get out I’m trying to watch Get Out. Are the top 20 2nd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball shallower than the top 20 catchers for 2021 fantasy baseball? No, but it’s pretty close, and that’s the last time you’re gonna hear the word pretty and 2nd basemen in the same sentence. Here’s Steamer’s 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2021 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. All projections included here are mine, and where I see tiers starting and stopping are included. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2021 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents outside the top 100 are not yet written up or projected. They are approximately ranked, obviously subject to change.

1. Ozzie Albies – This is the first tier. This tier goes from here until here. I call this tier, “Ewe gee ell WHY?!” Please allow me to recreate a phone call I made recently.

Contemplative Grey: “Hello, God, this is Grey. Where are the top 2nd basemen? Hello…? He’s busy? With what?! No, I cannot hold! ‘Who’s calling?!’ I already said who this was! Grey! Hello…Hmm, I think they hung up.”

Guys and five girl readers, the 2nd basemen are a testicle sitting on a hot cattle prod a millisecond before your brain synapses fire off that you’re being burned in the nethers. For our five girl readers, you’re gonna have to take my word for it. I love you, ladies, but sometimes my metaphors involve testicles. As for Albies, great, but where’s everyone else? Okay, I’m going to stop harping, like God’s secretary who I was speaking to earlier, and just say there will be a time to draft a 2nd baseman. It will be clear from the rankings. That’s if you don’t get Albies. I would take him? Oh, Al B. Sure! Nite and Day, and all drafts in between. Ozzie is a floor 25/12/.275 guy, that’s a solid base, but his upside nearly had me put him in the top 20 for 2021 fantasy baseball. Thisclose, as they say who don’t pause for emphasis. His Launch Angle went up a hair last year to 17.8 from 15.6. 15.6 will still get us there, but 17.8 with the increase of fly ball rate to 44.8 could be the point when he becomes a 32-homer guy. All of these fly balls could hurt his batting average. He gets lucky on power and unlucky on average, he becomes a 35-homer, .245 hitter. He becomes lucky on average and flattens his swing back down, he hits .295 but just under 25 homers. To add further proof, last year he was on a 162-game pace of 36/18/.250-ish. Average is an ‘ish’ because I’m guessing his increased Ks and Launch Angle would’ve caught up to him at some point. At 24, with a lot of MLB playing time under his belt, Albies feels on the cusp of a top 15 hitter overall. Incredible to think he still might make the most sense as a five-hole hitter in Atlanta. Also, I go over him in the video at the top of the page. 2021 Projections: 92/29/97/.262/15 in 607 ABs

2. DJ LeMahieu – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Hiura. I call this tier, “‘Nice carburetor,’ he said sarcastically while pointing at windshield wiper fluid.” This tier is filled guys who have worries under the hood, who might be totally fine, and I can’t even pinpoint all my concerns in a convincing way but I am hesitant about drafting them. As for LeMahieu, already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

3. Whit Merrifield – Could he absolutely continue to be a 15/30/.300 hitter into his thirties? Yes, trick question. He just turned 32 years old. He’s been doing it into his thirties. Am I still scared at any point his speed will be placed in a bag of rice? Ya know, dry up. By the by, how does the word ‘moist’ bother people but ‘dry up’ doesn’t? Dry up is so much grosser to think about. Moist is erotic compared to dry up. I’m taking moist out for dinner; dry up I’m emailing back after two weeks, “Sry out of town,” when you know I’ve been in town and am just avoiding ‘dry up.’ Okay, hammered that point into nothing, but there’s nothing else for me to say on Merrifield, I just don’t trust his 32-year-old legs, and there’s reams of examples about 32-year-olds slowing down. By the way, reams? That’s a worse word than moist too. 2021 Projections: 102/12/62/.284/22 in 613 ABs

4. Keston Hiura – Possibly the strangest hitter prospect of the last few years with expectations vs. reality. (Of course, this is taking out of consideration Dee Gordon, who literally changed his name to Strange.) If you would’ve told anyone that the contact-heavy, candidate-to-hit-.300 would struggle with a 35% K% in his 2nd year, after showing those same swing-and-miss tendencies his 1st year, I think most would’ve thought you were crazy. Keston went from a potential .300 average to “Could he hit .220?” It’s wild, and I don’t know what to make of it, if I’m being honest. I can point out where he’s struggled — hitting nothing hard, can’t spot offspeed pitches, his SwStr% would make Joey Gallo blush. Maybe he fixes all that, and hopefully because the trend is him going back to the minors to work on stuff. 2021 Projections: 84/34/103/.241/10 in 581 ABs

5. Ketel Marte – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here to Moustakas. I call this tier, “Clear eyes, full heart, can’t snooze.” Wakey wakey! It’s time to draft. This tier and the next are the two tiers you have to draft a 2nd baseman from, and don’t end a sentence with ‘from’ — dah! As for Marte, I nearly gave you a Ketel Marte sleeper, but instead here it is in its entirety:

Okay, f*ck off. Stop laughing at me. I didn’t write a Pete Alonso sleeper post (yet), so my brain isn’t completely water damaged like your 1987 Topps set. I’m not daft! You’re daft! I’m a freakin’ genius even if a genius needed autocorrect to spell genius. Ketel Marte was ranked a tad too high by me last year. Dot dot dot. Or was he?! Damn, Reversal Question, just sneaking up on you like blah-lau! Okay, serious question, why is it that you’re looking at some 60-game seasons like they didn’t happen at all and other ones like that’s who a player is? Ketel Marte had a terrible month and change, was injured and that’s it for him? Are you being serious right now? So, we’re throwing out his previous 144-game season where he hit 32 homers, stole 10 bags and hit .329 for his 44-game season where he was injured and hit 2 homers, stole one bag and hit .287? How does this make any sense to anyone? Lot of questions here and I don’t have a lot of answers, because we’re talking about why you think a certain thing and I have no flippin’ idea what’s stirring up in the pot sitting on your shoulders.

In 2018, Ketel Marte hit 14 homers in 153 games with a 5.8 Launch Angle and 29% fly ball rate and a 10.9 HR/FB. He wasn’t a home run hitter. That’s no deep insight. Just the facts. Then in 2019, he changed his Launch Angle to 11.6, his fly ball rate went up to 34.8% and he had a 19% HR/FB rate. In hindsight, which is me bent over peering through my butt, 19% HR/FB is high for him. Not absurd maybe, but also not going to be his norm. 34.8% FB% doesn’t seem too off, though. Then 2020 happened and he had a 3.8% HR/FB with a 32.9% FB rate and nearly same Launch Angle (10). Now discounting the 19% HR/FB as high, but Launch Angle and fly balls stayed similar, so how did he go from a 32-homer hitter to a David Eckstein? Bad luck and a wrist injury that bothered him all season. You can’t seriously think he’s a six to eight home run hitter now, can you? He’s at worst a 20-homer hitter. At best, he’s 2019’s Ketel Marte.

This hasn’t even touched on his true talent. Ketel Marte is one the best average hitters in baseball. With everything going against him last year, he hit .287. In 2019, when Marte hit .329, he had a 40% Hard Hit rate, 90 MPH average exit velocity and 22.2% line drive rate. In 2020, when everything apparently went pear-shaped, he had 40.5% Hard Hit%, 89.2 MPH exit velocity and 21.1% line drive rate. I.e., he wasn’t that different. The big problem last year was the Barrel% plummeted like they judged barrels by what happens at Niagara Falls. That doesn’t compute beyond he was making bad contact and slumping. His SwStr% went down last year and his Contact% went up. Again, he’s making contact, just not the best kind of contact. This tells me that even when Ketel Marte is slumping, he’s hitting the ball hard and just not doing as much with the pitches. Also, it was freakin’ 44 games and he might’ve been playing for the whole stretch of it with an injured wrist.

Also, he’s good for 7-10 steals. This worries me the most in his profile. He is not a prototypical fast runner. He does choose his spots wisely and is rarely caught, so I could see him sneaking into 7-10 steals, while also being capable of 4-6 steals and maybe 3-5 and I’m not going to list more numbers, but hope for seven steals and expect just under or over that. In conclusion, suck it, haters! Okay, fine, he’s not a top 30 overall hitter like I had him last year, but he’s now being drafted around 100th overall? What are y’all drinking? It’s something strong, but I don’t think it’s Ketel. Who loves Ketel Marte more than me? Find them for me so we can be best friends. 2021 Projections: 94/23/81/.301/6 in 588 ABs

6. Brandon Lowe – So, I might not be the high man on B. Lowe, but would draft him thinking 2020 had one good thing in it, and that was B. Lowe’s turn from serviceable to star being real. 100% might’ve been one great month vs. one young man having his star mitzvah. His BABIP in July (his huge month) wasn’t absurd, so that’s good, but his HR/FB% was prolly a bit high with a lofty FB%. A not-crazy-for-him 42% FB rate and 22% HR/FB would get him 34 HRs, and that’s without a passable average. Of course, the Rays are cash-poor and Kevin Cash-rich, so who knows if B. Lowe gets above 550 ABs. 2021 Projections: 77/29/83/.258/6 in 518 ABs

7. Cavan Biggio – I can squint and see Biggio being Albies. I can squint harder and see Biggio being Jurickson Profar. I need a Squint scale. Like an eye chart, but with stats. “E, F, P, 23% K%…R, Y, falling HardHit%…” Biggio strikes me (ouch) as a guy who is better for fantasy than real baseball, which is a-okay with me. He does have 20 steals without a caught stealing in the majors. His batted ball profile is a little meh. Steamer projects him for 21 homers this year, and that sounds about right, but at a .237 average, and that’s gonna be the difference here between squints. 2021 Projections: 81/19/71/.241/19 in 564 ABs

8. Max Muncy – Already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

9. Dylan Moore – Already gave you my Dylan Moore sleeper. It was written while clapping back. Also, I go over him in the video at the top of the page. 2021 Projections: 85/21/62/.262/17 in 567 ABs

10. Mike Moustakas – Already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

11. Tommy Edman – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Solak. I call this tier, “Get ’em while the get ’ems are still good.” Some 2nd basemen after this tier are fine for MI or UTIL, but guess what, fellas and fellow fantasy baseballers who aren’t fellas, this is the last tier that I want for my 2nd baseman. That’s right, you have less than ten to choose from and I bet a lot of you are in leagues with more than ten teams. Fun stuff! As for Edman, I searched my old posts for my Tommy Edman sleeper. Good news:  I thought I wrote it. Bad news:  I hadn’t. Neither here nor there news:  I’m writing it now. From about Biggio until now, I could’ve done a sub-tier called, “How hard are you squinting?” All of these guys are a solid two-eyed squint away from being much more valuable, and a top two or three 2nd baseman. Edman was caught stealing a decent amount last year, but 15 of 16 in 2019, and has 20+ steal speed. Whether he gets there is the question, and the answer is likely no. His Launch Angle last year makes him a ten homer guy vs. the 17-ish he looked like previously. With all his ground balls last year (51%), it’s hard to get enthused unless you ignore last year, which I’m inclined to do with Edman. He wasn’t last year’s batted ball profile previously, and think he can revert. Obviously warning signs, but ya gotta squint through it! 2021 Projections: 88/15/61/.262/19 in 581 ABs

12. Andres Gimenez – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Went the other way in the Mets/Indians trade. Already gave you my Andres Gimenez fantasy. Since his trade, I upped his projections since he doesn’t have to fight for playing time in an awful lineup, but, yeah, awful lineup. Also, there’s now a real worry that he will hit so much his batting average will bottom out and he won’t have any respite from the everyday duties and do doody after doody. Lots of doodies with duties. Of course, I’m still drafting him as a middle infidel.” And that’s me quoting me! UPDATE: With the signing of Cesar Hernandez, Gimenez’s going to be right back in the same shituation as he was in with the Mets, fighting with Amed Rosario for playing time. UPDATE II: Clearly, the Indians want Gimenez to be the starting shortstop and I want that too. Wants. Dot dot dot. Aligned! I love Gimenez and moved him back up to where he was prior to the Cesar signing. Gimenez is doing a Reverse Jon Berti. You think he’s losing playing time, but he’s gaining it vs. everyone saying he has playing time but really losing it. 2021 Projections: 71/13/78/.268/25 in 507 ABs

13. Nick Solak – Already gave you my Nick Solak sleeper. It was written inside a sous vide bath. 2021 Projections: 82/18/65/.266/16 in 533 ABs

14. Jeff McNeil – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Altuve. I call this tier, “Song’s on an Old Navy store mix.” These guys have all had respectable seasons in the past, and they might be okay, but if you’re blasting one of these guys on your Sebring’s radio, you may as well be selling a slim-fit button down or a pullover that falls apart after you pull one string. Hey, it’s not your fault. You think of yourself as a dispensary store mix guy, but you’re a ‘walking past Tommy Bahama bobbing your head’ guy. As for McNeil, and the rest of this tier, if it’s not clear, there’s no way I’m owning any of them. McNeil looks like a solid-contact, 18-homer, 3-steal, .300 hitter–*falls off chair* What happened? I was writing something and then I just fell asleep. Is everyone okay? Did I miss anything? No? Just chatting about McNeil? Oh, okay. He had a 26.5% HardHit%, averages around 44% ground balls and a 10% HR/FB–*dozes off and hits head on desk* What the hell happened? Where am I? Oh, McNeil. Right. Yeah, he’s kinda boring. So, you can go ahead and Shazam Avicii’s Levels, but it’s a ten-year-old song. You’re the only that doesn’t know it. 2021 Projections: 86/18/76/.303/3 in 568 ABs

15. Jose Altuve – I know big-bodied players don’t age well, but how do short players age? I’m not being facetious. Anyone know if there’s been a study about players who are under 4′ 11″? Okay, that was facetious, but I am interested, if anyone’s seen anything. If I were Altuve, I’d dress up like Oscar the Grouch, and walk out to every game in a trash can with legs. Actually, he should put on a giant afro and say he’s Oscar Gamble the Grouch. Keep shizz light. Instead, Altuve looks like he swallowed a bottle of ulcer pills and can’t handle the thought of people looking at him like a cheat. It’s ancedotal, but I think that’s why Correa might succeed post-Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang scandal, because he doesn’t give a f*ck. Zero f*cks given is the attitude I think you want, and Altuve seems the opposite of that. Even beyond that, his speed has all but dried up, and he’s not a big power threat because he’s the size of a Travelocity gnome. I tried to rank him as low as I thought I needed so you don’t draft him, but if I didn’t, still don’t draft him. 2021 Projections: 85/21/71/.267/9 in 546 ABs

16. David Fletcher – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Madrigal. I call this tier, “Febreze isn’t just something you try to name your son.” Things aren’t as dire as they seemed! A gentle respite! A warm breeze on a cool day! A cool breeze on a warm day! A Febreze spray on your track pants you’ve worn for the last month! Here’s guys for your MI or UTIL slot. If you expect a lot from any of these guys, you may as well sell your collection of Starting Lineup figurines to buy a bridge in Kansas. As for Fletcher, he’s such a lock for…Well, is there anywhere I can bet Fletcher’s gym lock combination is 8/8/.310? 2021 Projections: 94/8/51/.310/8 in 604 ABs

17. Garrett Hampson – “Ian Desmond…Ian Desmond…and that’s Ian Desmond too…Hey, is this some sort of trick?” That’s Bud Black doing a Rorschach test where, instead of ink blots, he’s shown pictures of Hampson, Sam Hilliard and Brendan Rodgers. 2021 Projections: 59/12/57/.263/23 in 464 ABs

18. Jake Cronenworth – Already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball. Also, I go over him in the video at the top of the page.

19. Ryan McMahon – Already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

21. Tommy La Stella – Already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

21. Kolten Wong – Signed with the Brewers. This crowds their infield. Won’t someone please think of Daniel Robertson? Oh, and Keston Hiura, Orlando Arcia and Luis Urias. I’d put Keston at 1st, Wong at 2nd, Arcia at short, and Urias at third, but what Grey wants and Grey gets are often on different trains running in opposite directions. Recently seen in Missed Connections, “Saw you last night at a Culver’s Frozen Custard, you said you have four middle infielders, and you were in search of a corner man. You were also wearing a Brewers uniform.” That’s C.J. Cron trying to find a warm place to rest his head. Ideally, this moves Hiura to 1st base and Vogelbach to the bench, but that’s a pregunta for another day. Wong is usually only good for 420-ish at-bats, so not sure it matters for Arcia or Urias. Wong on the Brewers is a solid landing place for him, but mostly for counting stats. For power/speed, the Wong tale has been written. 2021 Projections: 81/10/56/.272/21 in 417 ABs

22. Hanser Alberto – Signed with the Royals, and will compete with Nicky Lopez for the 2nd base job. A duel! En garde! Maybe in 200 years they’ll make a hip hop musical about it. I’m young, crappy, and Nicky! And I’m not throwin’ away my shot at 2nd base! I bet he does throw away his shot, though. I mean Nicky, brr, it got chilly in here. Hanser is a .280+ hitter and should be the easy choice for everyday playing time, but I will take 100 at-bats off his projections just in case. 2021 Projections: 57/9/52/.284/3 in 433 ABs

23. Nick Madrigal – Already gave you my Nick Madrigal fantasy. It came, it saw, it thought that quote ended with “in Concord.” 2021 Projections: 66/2/46/.318/16 in 517 ABs

24. Jean Segura – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Berti. I call this tier, “A Teacher on Hulu.” This show was an absolute delight. An unmitigated pleasure. A TV show worthy of an Oscar, if you gave Oscars to absolutely terrible TV shows. Bah gawd, man, give me like five more seasons of this absolutely terrible show. Terrible? Yes. Did I stutter? It was awful! But, also wonderful. That’s this tier. These guys are likely terrible, but I’m excited for them for little to no reason in deeper leagues. As for Segura, he’s awful! I know this! I’m not stupid. He’s also never played less than 125 games in a 162-game season (I hate that I have to specify this), and he’s projected for 17/10/.281 by Steamer, which is about as good as McNeil. Will Segura be that good? Prolly not, but I’d take as good as a “terrible show about a student hooking up with his hot teacher.” 2021 Projections: 72/15/77/.272/13 in 581 ABs

25. Cesar Hernandez – Signed with the Indians. He will be hitting leadoff–and, damn it, this squeezes Amed Rosario and Andres Gimenez for playing time, doesn’t it? Did they both get traded from the Mets to become exactly the same fantasy-wise on a new team? 2021 Projections: 84/10/49/.277/10 in 559 ABs

26. Ty France – I see London, I see Ty France, I see my teacher’s underpants. Is this too dirty? Or drrrrty, as one may write it now. So, France, adjacent to Germany and Italy, almost got a sleeper post. Hit the Rhine and chuck back some funky cheese, as they say. (No one says this.) France is a 27-homer-in-the-minors guy who hit .399 that year. That’s not his OBP. His BABIP was goofy, and maybe he platoons, but that’s Breakout City in France. Call him Papillon. 2021 Projections: 51/20/63/.277 in 474 ABs

27. Joey Wendle – Not to side track this — like the rest of this shizz isn’t all side tracking — but the Rays need to be stopped. They have guys who don’t get free agency until they’re in their mid-30s. Ain’t saying Joey Wendle is great, but Mr. Wendle is no bum. Even if the Rays tried to arrest his development. He’s going to be 34 years old by the time he reaches free agency. That’s ridiculous. He was still getting minor league at-bats in 2019, and he’s gonna be 31 in April! C’mon, that’s abusing the system. Okay, someone help me down from this soapbox. Please, I’m scared of heights. 2021 Projections: 61/12/71/.275/9 in 443 ABs

28. Starlin Castro – Oh, he’s awful, but, again, a totally sexy teacher sleeps with an 18-year-old dude. I mean, c’mon! This is a-fantasy baseball, said like a stereotypical Italian. Also, Castro feels like the type of guy who people are like, “There’s no way he gets 500+ at-bats,” and instead he gets 600+ ABs. 2021 Projections: 69/17/73/.267/1 in 519 ABs

29. Jonathan Schoop – Re-signed with the Tigers. Or resigned, either work when talking about the Tigers. Damn, Grey coming in like a cumulus and shading the whole region. Yo, remove your sunglasses, I got you, I’m a cloud, with my shade. Schoop always provides power and an opportunity to mispronounce his name into a Salt ‘n Pepa song.  2021 Projections: 58/23/66/.254/1 in 474 ABs

30. Jurickson Profar – Re-signed with the Padres. Because it was between them, the Mets, and the Jays, and it was the Padres turn to sign someone, next up is the Mets, then Jays again…And is this an offseason or a game of Uno? “Oh my God, it was reversed! The Padres have to sign another free agent!” So, this is not great news for Profar’s at-bats, but guys tend to get their at-bats. It’ll look in the spring like a guy might not get 200 ABs, then an injury happens and he gets 400+ ABs. 2021 Projections: 54/16/57/.261/7 in 389 ABs

31. Jazz Chisholm – This is the last tier. This tier goes from here until the end. I call this tier, “So, you fell asleep mid-draft. Now what?” Tier name is self-explanatory, and you should’ve took some No Doz. Already gave you my Jazz Chisholm fantasy. It was written on the wrong side of the law. UPDATE: Won the 2B job. 2021 Projections: 61/18/64/.206/15 in 458 ABs

32. Jonathan Villar – Signed with the Mets to play…The piano in case Billy Joel gets drunk and can’t find CitiField for his next concert once we’re out of the pandemic? I have no idea. Villar is a puzzling piece for the Mets to acquire. I guess they heard MLB is starting a man on 2nd base in extras and they want to see if Villar is the first guy to have a statline of 40/0/0/0/.000. I suppose this could remove some playing time from McNeil, but he can play elsewhere, but then where does elsewhere play? Is this a vague, unfunny Who’s on First? Yes, I guess. Villar just makes things awkward in the Mets’ lineup. Oh, and it does nothing for Villar’s value. If he couldn’t steal 25 bags in only part-time ABs, I would’ve dropped him even further.  2021 Projections: 43/6/41/.246/22 in 302 ABs

33. Enrique Hernandez – Signed with the Red Sox. I can’t imagine a year from Enrique — I don’t call him Kiké, too Enrisque — where he doesn’t go 15/4/.240, while never playing every day to make him worthwhile in mixed leagues, but the Red Sox say they’ll give him his chance for an everyday starting job. Why does this feel like a trap? 2021 Projections: 57/20/64/.236/4 in 467 ABs

34. Gavin Lux – He just missed the cut-off for a rookie outlook post this year. I did, however, write one last year, and it’s still applicable, if you ignore the naïveté in my writerly voice not predicting an incoming plague. That Gavin Lux fantasy. My projections from that post seem doable too, and I loved A Teacher, which even the name says it’s awful! A Teacher? How about Hot For Teacher, you giant ding-dongs? 2021 Projections: 44/12/41/.271/6 in 303 ABs

35. Mauricio Dubon – If I were more geared towards writing to deep leaguers, Dubon would’ve got his own sleeper post. Should’ve done a combo sleeper with France, and called it Maurice Schlevalpier. That’s sleeper in French. This tier is all guys on the cusp, and sleeping with their teachers, and no one wants them, but I love them. Dubon seems like he should be leading off for the Aints, and could go 15/15/.300. Will he? Dude, are you paying attention? 2021 Projections: 52/10/48/.280/12 in 504 ABs

35. Scott Kingery – Struggled with The ‘Rona for a month this past year, and looked like about five percent of his former self. All his numbers are spooky similar to past seasons, except he went from hitting 111 MPH whizz-bangers to 85 MPH gee-whizzers. Did he recover the missing 95%? At his current price, I’d take 75% return on my money. UPDATE: Time to face facts. At best, he’s going to be in a timeshare with ODB. At worst, he’s going to be out of a job. UPDATE II: It was “at worst.”  2021 Projections: 46/14/56/.242/11 in 524 ABs

36. Jon Berti – I’m so gun-shy expecting Berti to get 550 ABs after last year’s 6-month Austin Powers-U-turn-in-a-golf-cart trip his fantasy value took. Every time I thought he was a starter, the Marlins would reverse his value. If Berti can ever get 500+ ABs, he could steal 30 bags. That “if” is the size of your hemorrhoids after a ten-month quarantine. UPDATE: Marlins are once again screwing Berti out of an everyday job. Someone should hook Berti and Garrett Hampson up. The Thelma & Louise of expectations with no results. 2021 Projections: 39/4/34/.263/18 in 276 ABs

37. Wilmer Flores – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Goodrum. I call this tier, “Pico de gallo.” The tier name has two meanings. One, I’m pretending to be cutting onions for my salsa if I draft one of these guys, or, two, some of them are going to hit for an average like Joey, Pico de’s brother. As for Flores, already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

38. Brendan Rodgers – Overheard in the Rockies’ clubhouse:

Bud Black, “16…16…Anyone with 16…?”
Brendan Rodgers, “What number are you?”
Garrett Hampson, “87.”
Rodgers, “I’m 88.”

That’s Bud Black calling out deli counter numbers for his lineup card. UPDATE: Will miss a month with worsening of his hamstring injury. Bud Black summed up the setback with, “That gives me an extra month to come up with reasons to play Josh Fuentes instead of Rodgers.”2021 Projections: 44/12/51/.249/3 in 323 ABs

39. Luis Urias – Wasn’t that long ago it felt like Urias was going to be a star, then that became, “Are you talking about Julio Urias?” And you answered, “No, Luis.” And that elicited the reply, “Luis who?” And you just groaned. Brewers seem like an exceptionally bleh-run organization so that they got had for Trent Grisham isn’t shocking, but they didn’t get that had, did they? It was only two years ago Urias seemed like a bet for a 25/10/.230 season. Is it in there? Anywhere? 2021 Projections: 51/16/60/.234/5 in 491 ABs

40. Chad Pinder – Saw Steamer projections for Pinder: 20/3/.249 and my eyes went crossed-eye never to be the same again. I’ve been Pinderized. 2021 Projections: 54/14/61/.239/1 in 466 ABs

41. Niko Goodrum – The good news is if you draft him, Goodrum comes with his own chaser. The bad news is you’re the chaser and it’s on waivers for a decent 2nd baseman. 2021 Projections: 61/16/66/.222/16 in 551 ABs

42. Rougned Odor – He’s still only 27 years old and has three years of hitting 30 homers and 10+ steals. Crazy how he’s so undervalued. People obviously have a problem with his .185 xBA. Kinda lame on those people’s part if you ask me. So critical. Geez. He’s only a .455 BABIP away from hitting .250. UPDATE: Didn’t make the Rangers. 2021 Projections: 51/22/54/.203/7 in 408 ABs

43. Mike Brosseau – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Lopez. I call this tier, “Scarecrow wearing a starter jacket.” By the tier name, I mean these guys are as good as filling a starter jacket with hay and putting them out at 2nd base. As for Brosseau, already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

44. Freddy Galvis – Signed with the Orioles. This is the kind of move more teams should be making. Not a good move for the team, but a move to reveal to their fan base they’re not even trying.   2021 Projections: 71/17/77/.224/4 in 581 ABs

45. Adam Frazier – I suggest a rule that if a guy gets 550+ ABs and sucks, he can’t have a starting job again until he wins said job from a prospect. Pirates can’t just keep throwing Frazier out there like he’s Tommy Herr. More like Tommy Eraser from our memories. 2021 Projections: 58/10/39/.268/4 in 412 ABs

46. Donovan Solano – This guy shares many of the same qualities as Cavan Biggio, like they both have ‘van’ in their first name. Sadly, Biggio is a Can-van and Solano is a Don’tvan. 2021 Projections: 54/6/46/.262/1 in 477 ABs

47. Chris Taylor – I might be falling twice for the ol’ banana-in-the-tailpipe, but Dave Roberts can’t start Taylor for 500+ ABs. I refuse to believe Dave Roberts is sneakily wearing Bud Black’s earth skin. 2021 Projections: 42/12/51/.241/7 in 337 ABs

48. Luis Garcia – You know what we called Luis Garcia last year? Luis Arraez. 2021 Projections: 43/5/52/.297/6 in 381 ABs

49. Michael Chavis – Already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

50. Marwin Gonzalez – Already went over him at the top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball.

51. Nico Hoerner – There is an abnormally large amount of guys who have the statline:  who cares/whatever/yeah/so/who cares. “So” with a chance for “Nice,” to be fair. UPDATE: Won’t start the year with the Cubs. 2021 Projections: 44/8/41/.278/8 in 407 ABs

52. Josh Harrison – With the demotion of Carter Kieboom, the Nats seem like they’re going with Josh Harrison, and I, for one, have to hand it to them and applaud their decision. Sorry, weird punctuation there, I have one hand to applaud that decision. 2021 Projections: 41/8/44/.244/4 in 312 ABs

53. Nicky Lopez – This is the first time a major league regular started his career as an Adam Sandler character. Go get ’em Little Nicky! 2021 Projections: 21/2/26/.268/7 in 306 ABs

54. Kevin Newman – You gotta go next level garbage to play yourself out of a job in Pittsburgh, but Newman #nailedit. Or rather with Newman, it’s #mailedit. 2021 Projections: 41/7/43/.261/10 in 334 ABs

55. David Bote – Feels like a guy who you spend $11 on in your FAAB bidding during the season, then don’t regret dropping him three weeks later because you only spent $11 out of $1000. 2021 Projections: 48/12/52/.229/4 in 388 ABs

56. Luis Arraez – Prospect Guy, “Luis Arraez has great bat control!” Me,”Does he do anything worthwhile in fantasy?” Prospect Guy, “Do you have a Checked Swing category in your league?” UPDATE: With Andrelton Simmons signing, Arraez was bumped down. 2021 Projections: 37/4/36/.318/4 in 327 ABs

57. Josh Rojas – I once wrote a Josh Rojas sleeper post and I can’t think of anything more hilarious. Bless this mess, which is what I say to my brain. 2021 Projections: 31/6/27/.231/8 in 191 ABs

58. Isan Diaz – Bit of a Berti handcuff. Maybe I can handcuff Isan Diaz to Aguilar to get Berti and Lewin Diaz both in the lineup. Hmm, will research laws. Do they have laws in Florida? That will be my first Google search! UPDATE: Jazz Chisholm won the 2B job. 2021 Projections: 31/12/36/.224/2 in 229 ABs