Please see our player page for Keston Hiura to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

The Orioles are on pace to give up 1,776 home runs, because they’re close to our nation’s capital, and that is a great figure, a historic number.  A cannot be imitated — help me out here, Captain Lou Albano — never duplicated number.  Scratch that, they’re now on pace to give up 1777 home runs because of the Battle of the Assunpink Creek. That was also the title of the Pink concert when her stretch pants were a little too skimpy in the back.  “I see your Assupink Creek 2017.”  Great show, the aerobatics alone.  So, I try to avoid making every lede about hitters in Coors or facing the Orioles, but here goes, because Gleyber Torres has 14 homers against the O’s in five games and 12 homers on the year.  There’s math involved in that number.  He went 2-for-5 with his 11th and 12th homers.  Next up, literally, Brett Gardner (3-for-4, 1 run) hit more doubles than the sketchy guy at the craps table who kept betting the horn and looking over his shoulder.  DJ LeMahieu (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR) was on the ones and twos, but mostly on the ones, since he hit leadoff and his 4th homer.  Gary Sanchez (2-for-4) hit his 15th long ball and don’t mention hitting balls around Gary, he crosses his legs.  Then there’s Thairo (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, HR), who should be on the Iron Throne, but that’s a hot internet take, and I’m here for cold ones, but he even has three homers because Our Commissioner Manfred sticks Capri Sun straws into balls and juices them up.  If you learn nothing else from this post, and you might not, stream all hitters vs. the Orioles.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cougs, what are you doing to our dear Fantasy Master Lothario? Is this shaking pillow in fact a cure for snoring, or just a modern torture device? Reader, you decide. In the meantime there was fantasy baseball to discuss, like this weekends FAAB madness, Shane Bieber’s dominant start, how worried we are about Noah Syndergaard, and where to get the best borscht in Los Angeles. Wrapping up the show we run through some adds for your leagues, luminaries like C.J. Cron, Tommy LaStella, and that Peanut Vendor that dances at Padres games (I made this person up). It’s another episode of the Razzball Podcast, check your diaper.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kinda obsessed with our Top 100 Fantasy Starts tool (not a tool as much as it’s a free list).  Since I’m writing this on Sunday, I’m not sure yet where Shane Bieber and his 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 15 Ks will rank, but my guess is 1st or 2nd overall.  (The tool (list?) updates after this is posted.)  Pretty deep into the season to have Shane Bieber throw possibly the best start of the year.  Bieber was the youngest Indians pitcher since 1987 with 12+ Ks — wow! — the last to do it was Greg Swindell — um, all right! Bieber was the 4th youngest since 1908 to have a 15-K, zero-walk game, the other three:  Gooden — crazy! — Kerry Wood — nasty company! — and Vince Velasquez — well, um, he had a good game.  Only two Indians starters in history with a shutout, no walks and 15 Ks are Bieber — damn! — and Luis Tiant, who at 78 years old just beat up my autocorrect for changing his name to Luis Taint.  Sunday’s start shows why I wanted to draft Bieber in every league.  Hopefully, he keeps it gong…gong…go I ng–Sorry, my autocorrect is scared to change anything now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This week Lance and Lifshitz are back in saddle after a long layover. Not to worry, we pickup right where we left off by diving into some of the callups over the last week, as well as a laundry list of live looks between the two of us over the first month plus. From Wander Franco to Casey Mize and all the looks in between, we give you the low down from the field from the Midwest to the International League. Maybe it’s been a month since you last heard the sweet sounds of Bro-Shitz, maybe you’ve been in coma and didn’t miss anything. Who cares? We’re back!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I remember fondly my pickling phase of years ago when I went ahead and pickled just about everything.  Pickled eggs, pickled garlic, pickled…pickles. Fast forward 3 years and all those jars are still sitting on the shelf and I’m fearful of any of them breaking a seal and releasing their rancid smell on the house.  To be fair, I did eat the pickles, but I was definitely fearful of the eggs. That transitions seamlessly to my favorite pitcher of the night, Griffin Canning ($6,800).  Canning gets to face the Royals at home tonight and I’m lining my shelves and praying to not get a stinker.  It’s been a bit of a roller coaster to start Canning’s major league career with 3 runs in 4 innings, 2 runs in 5 innings and 4 runs and 4 walks in 4 innings.  One thing has remained constant though and that is the strikeouts (6,7,6). That works out to about 12 K/9. Yum! That’s the equivalent of some fine homemade dills.  As long as we can avoid the spoiled pickled eggs, we’ll be good.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Braves called up Austin Riley this week, which is news to the guy in your league who went into shock when he realized he drafted Travis Shaw, Ender Inciarte and Rougned Odor in all leagues.  That person sounds suspiciously like me.  The Braves sharted Super Two Status as one might shart it when they can just sign Riley to a ten-year deal worth $45,000 annually.  As someone who is paid in pennies from advertisers, that sounds pretty Eflin good.  If you notice in the video at the top of this post, Riley is Anime Grey’s Buy, and that needs to be animated about a week ahead of time, so I was thinking about this Buy for some time now.  I was spurred on by Prospect Mike’s Austin Riley post last Sunday, when he alerted me that the Braves began to play Riley in the outfield.  As they say in any rest stop bathroom, the writing’s on the wall and someone’s about to get it in the rear, Ender.  In Triple-A, Riley hit 15 homers in only 37 games (144 ABs), and looks capable of 30+ homers in the majors.  Even the conservative-with-rookies Steamer projects him for 25 homers on the Prospectonator.  Ender might return at some point; Riley could slump; your degree from a liberal arts college where you majored in Wingdings font could be helpful, but for now Ender’s garbage; Riley should be owned; and you’re only qualified to work at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

B_Don returns triumphantly from Puerto Rico, just in time for a flurry of prospect calls ups. The sausage lovers kick the show off by going over each of the recent promotions, giving their thoughts on Keston Hiura, Austin Riley, Oscar Mercado, Willie Calhoun, Nicky Lopez, Corbin Martin, and several others.

During the profiles segment, Donkey Teeth breaks down post-hype breakout candidate Lucas Giolito, while B_Don shares his thoughts on rookie stud Mike Soroka. Find out what to expect from each of these youngsters moving forward and how you should be valuing each in the fantasy game. The sausage fest is topped off with some Dijon mustard and a flurry of pick up recommendations. Grab a wiener and get comfy, summer is coming!
Please, blog, may I have some more?

One of the season’s surprise breakouts Jorge Polanco (SS: $4,300) is not showing signs of stopping or even slowing down. On top of the power, he finally added his first steal. Because of the weather concerns, I’ll give you a bonus. You could certainly do worse than Adalberto Mondesi ($3,900) as he’s been lighting it up no matter how much you doubt him. Power and speed to spare, what more do you need? The only reason I wasn’t going to include him is that I’ve written about him before and figured it’s time for someone new. Mostly I’m just hoping that there aren’t any last minute IL announcements like Buster Posey last week.

Thanks for taking a break from watching playoff hockey to play a little fantasy baseball DFS. You won’t find any shorthanded goals here (because that’s not a thing in baseball)

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My preseason NL MVP pick was Travis Shaw.  *turns to a mirror* You’re handsome, but hella stupid.  My mirror reflection separates from my body.  The apparition picks up a see-through suitcase, “I think it’s time we went our separate ways.”  But how will you get along out there without me? Can an apparition order Chick-fil-A or boba? “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”  It was one bad call.  “Tell that to my teams with Travis Shaw and Daniel Palka.”  Nooooooo!!!  Any hoo!  My soul left me after I told it to draft Travis Shaw, and I can’t blame it.  What a garbage call.  Maybe Shaw will return as Travos so we can “see worth.”  It’s a game of puns!  With the Brewers moving on from Shaw by sending him to the Ineffective List, they called up Keston Hiura.  I know I say this shizz three times a week, but he could be *the* call-up of the year.  Here’s what I’ve said in the past, “One scout said this offseason at the Arizona Fall League, ‘We all talk about the bat of Vladdy, with obvious reason, but outside of Vladdy, I’d call Keston Hiura the purest power bat I saw out in Arizona. He’s just a special, special kid.’  The scout continued, ‘Have you seen my chew?’ turning his lip inside out, ‘Ah, there it is,’ then after a pause, ‘I’m big league, baby!’ I actually have owned Huira for the better part of two years in two separate NL-Only leagues, and I’m a fan.  Think there’s a chance for a 18/7/.270 season.  That sounds downright–Don’t say Jed Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie, don’t say Lowrie– Led Jowrie!  (What’s worse, I thought of saying ‘what Brett Lawrie was supposed to be’ — woof!)  In Double-A last year, Hiura hit 6 HRs with 11 SBs and .272 in only 73 games, but his bat will play, and, as mentioned above about how he looked in Arizona, he destroyed the AFL, getting better and better.”  And that’s me quoting me!  He continued to get better this year, hitting .333 with 11 HRs in 37 Triple-A games, while chipping in four steals.  He was striking out way too much in Triple-A to hit .333 in the majors, but 18/7/.270 sounds about right from this point forward with a chance for more.  Maybe he could even be the NL MVP.  I’m kidding, apparition!  Please, come back, I’m empty inside!.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kyle Tucker has started the 2019 season cold. Like really cold. Like, the freezing point of helium cold. Shout out to my unfortunately-named high school chemistry teacher, Mr. Richard Sores. But, there is hope for the flowers. Tucker has hit safely in each of his last three games with a double and two homers in that span. Why is this important? If you own Tucker, who was a favorite to get called up at some point this season, he needs to play well to avoid getting leapfrogged by Yordan Alvarez and Myles Straw on the road to Houston. Here’s what else is happening around the minor leagues…

Please, blog, may I have some more?