Sometime around the end of February, I contacted my Cards’ connection and they said Jordan Walker would break camp, and from that moment I donned my train conductor cap on the Jordan Walker hype train, grabbed the wheel (do trains have steering wheels?), put my foot on the gas (again, a train with pedals?) and started screaming choo-choo-choo out the window (is it up to the conductor to yell ‘choo-choo-choo?’) and went full speed ahead. Topping off the hype train sundae (clearly, I know a lot about trains), I drafted him this past weekend in Vegas at the Main Event with the minimal pick at 97. And it felt effin’ glorious!
Right after drafting Jordan Walker pic.twitter.com/CequiunMNm
— Razzball (@Razzball) March 25, 2023
Or as Kenny from Rotowear aptly captured:
— Kenneth Cashman (@kenneth_cashman) March 26, 2023
This weekend we found out Jordan Walker did, indeed, make the Cards’ Opening Day lineup. You want this year’s Julio Rodriguez? It’s prolly Corbin Carroll. You want this year’s Bobby Witt Jr.? It’s maybe Corbin Carroll too. So, who is Jordan Walker? I’ve haven’t seen a guy like Jordan Walker since rookie Giancarlo Stanton. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on the Struggle Bus with inside pitches, and there’s some chance here that he’s nothing more than 25/10/.240, but the upside is, honestly, as big as he is.
Jordan Walker got an entire Jordan Walker fantasy from me once, but sometimes I think I need to shine a flashlight on a player like y’all a bunch of puppies that are barking during my favorite TV show. Let me watch Survivor and you read about Jordan Walker. Here’s what I said there, “Some players seem like they are MLB The Show “Create a player” players. Here I call them Lab Babies. Jordan Walker? Oh, he’s definitely a Lab Baby. You see him and think, “Well, that guy’s 28 years old and has been destroying minor leaguers for years, right?” Then you hear he’s 20 years old and you start stumbling around humping fire hydrants because you’re drunk on rookie nookie. You’re hitting the hooch on that 151 Rum of Sexy Prospect Liquor. You’re drunk all right, but on all natural 80-grade sativa. It’s a strain that grows in prospect journals and gets nothing but shine, no shade whatsoever. Here’s what Prospect Itch has said previously, “I made the trip to see Walker in High-A, but he was on the bench that night, or rather, atop the dugout steps cheering on his new teammates, looking like a human giant. I have no reason to argue against his listed 6’5” 220 lbs, but I can say he dwarfed everyone else on the team. I can also say I saw enough of Walker’s work on MiLB.tv that I want to be driving that bus in dynasty leagues. He features double-plus athleticism for a big man, a controlled swing that explodes through the zone, and plenty of foot speed to make himself a pest on the basepaths. He’s looking like a consensus top ten prospect sooner than later, and I’d like to punch Grey in his head.” Okay, putting aside that last part, this was from Itch last year! Think Itch would be the first person to tell you that Jordan Walker has only got better!” And that’s me quoting me and Itch!
On Itch’s top 25 prospects, Jordan Walker was number one in front of Corbin Carroll and Gunnar Henderson. They’re honestly 1A, 1B, and there’s no such thing as 1C. The only thing is: The other two have been top 100 picks all offseason, and Jordan Walker has not. Grab him, trade for him, do what you need to do! My top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball rankings has been completely updated and my 3rd basemen rankings. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2023 fantasy baseball:
Anthony Volpe – Made the team, and I have to admit this is a shocking one for me. Clarify, November thru February Grey is shocked. March Grey started to see the writing on the wall. Here’s what I said in my Anthony Volpe fantasy last year, “So, this is a tough one to write, that is even harder as I do this in November, when nothing’s been finalized about next year’s rosters. Anthony Volpe could break camp with the Yankees or he could be called up late in the year like the Oswald/o’s. Yankees desperately need to look back at what they did in the mid-90s, and turn the page on signing all these vets, who kinda suck. Israel Diner-Falafel was a terrible signing at the time and it never got better, but this is what the Yankees have done for almost 25 years now. There’s someone reading this who wasn’t even alive for when the Yankees used to promote prospects. Me, being 17 years old, I don’t know any of this. I blew dust off Wikipedia to read about it. That’s right, I started Razzball when I was 5 years old. I was the Doogie Howser of fantasy baseball ‘perts. I don’t even get the Doogie Howser reference that I just made. I’m too young. Was he related to Dick Howser? Dot dot dot. Who I also don’t know — again –> too young.” And that’s me quoting me! Volpe has power and speed, and absolutely should be rostered. Honestly, I’m a tad less excited for Volpe than I am for Walker, and my new top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball shows that. My shortstops rankings are updated too.
Luis Severino – Will start the year on the IL with a lat strain. If it’s not the shoulder, it’s the lat. If it’s not the lat, it’s the shoulder. Since it’s the lat and not the shoulder, it’s better, I tell myself, as I slowly start to gather all my pitchers with injuries and march towards April and this season. That was some Walt Whitman shizz right there. Severino was updated in the Top 60 Starters for 2023 Fantasy Baseball and top 500.
Oscar Colas – Made the White Sox Opening Day roster. In Vegas this past weekend, there were plenty of bets to make. My favorite was 30 to 1 odds that Oscar Colas would win the Rookie of the Year. Not saying he’s the favorite. He is not, obviously, but Colas is legit. Stay thirsty! My top 60 outfielders are updated.
Drey Jameson – Opening the year in the Dbags’ pen, and Ryne Nelson is starting the year in the rotation. This is likely to change fifteen times by the end of the year, with Pfaadt getting pfthaat spot too.
Aledmys Diaz – Will platoon with Nick Allen at shortstop for. Dot dot dot. Can you guess the team?
James McCann – Side soreness and might not be ready for Opening Day. McCann is aptly named because he’s ass.
Wander Franco – Had an MRI on his quad, and the Rays are saying all the right things. Glad I didn’t go back in on Wander this year. Love the talent, but fool me once, shame on you, and, guitar sting, WE WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN!
Jared Shuster – Informed that him and Dylan Dodd both made the rotation as Kyle Wright continues to ramp up. So, the Shuster/Dodd fight for the rotation continues into the season. This still feels like it’s 60/40 in Shuster’s favor, but I’m only 70/30 confident in that. How they do in the regular season will decide this, and whomever wins will have nice value. I haven’t one Mary Dodd Lincoln share, if that means anything for you.
Brett Baty – Optioned down to start the year. This is just such a bad call by the Mets. I don’t think Baty is on par with Walker or anything, but he could’ve been a nice piece and the Mets are going for it. Why send down a guy in that position? Because Escobar is blocking him? Meh, that just sounds like bad process and Rockies’ type thinking.
Dylan Bundy – Signed with the Mets to a minor league deal. Avoid him. Bundy is a killer (of your ratios).
Triston McKenzie – Left yesterday’s game due to arm tightness. He’s got everything tightness. He weighs 115 pounds! This doesn’t sound great, but the Guardians are saying it’s precautionary, so hopefully.
Trevor Larnach – Looks like he’s going to make the team, he has huge power, and Kirilloff hasn’t been healthy since 1987. Not saying he’s for every league yet, but he could be very quickly.
Ryan Pepiot – Clinched Dodgers’ 5th starter job. For now. I’m still heavily invested in Gavin Stone. Pepiot gets hit and Stone looks great in the minors, and they’re switching them, but, of course, if Pepiot looks good, he could run with the job. Just don’t buy Pepiot all that much because his command is just so atrocious. He looks like a roofie waiting to happen.
Hayden Wesneski – Will start the year in the Cubs’ rotation. Between Steele and Wesneski is me Smyly. Wesneski is interesting late because he’s got a dazzling slider and can get solid-enough Ks with excellent command. That latter attribute really seals him as intriguing. Prolly should’ve ranked him, but I won’t be adding guys into the rankings at this point, but, if I were to take a flyer on Wesneski, it would be around the last tier of the top 80 starters. Slot him next to teammate, Steele. Your standard number five to six starter flyer in shallower leagues, or number seven to eight in deeper leagues.
Robert Suarez – Will begin the season on the IL. Prolly makes Luis Garcia the setup man. No, not that Luis Garcia. No, not that one either.
Matt Strahm – Will start game five for the Phillies. Rudy is working on getting the Streamonator up and running with rotations. Not to say Strahm is interesting — it’s not the Strahmonator — but I’ve already picked up Kutter Crawford for his next week’s matchups.
Luke Voit – Opted out of his Brewers’ nonsense deal. He fits perfectly in Philly. Now, let’s see if the Phils can figure it out. Before you go caca-cuckoo with Voit, even if he’s on the Phils, he’s just a platoon guy.
Keston Hiura – Was told he didn’t make the Opening Day team. Hiura took it well, and told Abraham Toro, who beat him out, “It’ll be up to you to suck enough for the both of us.” Heartwarming.
Jose Iglesias – Did not make the Marlins’ roster but Iglesias will stay with the club in case the players need a place to pray.
Yuli Gurriel – Made the Marlins’ team. Don’t love this for my very late Garrett Cooper shares, but Garrett Cooper’s injury history didn’t love my very late Garrett Cooper shares.
Kenley Jansen – Left Friday’s game with a bout of lightheadness, but, he says he’s fine, and, honestly, heads are too heavy anyway. Design flaw!
Nate Pearson – Optioned down. Not sure I understand this move. To me, *pinkie to mouth* he’s a Pearson of interest.
Yusei Kikuchi – Made the Opening Day rotation. Had it been almost a year since the last time we had any hope for Yusei? Geez, time flies!
Jurickson Profar – Having visa issues. The Jurickson store called, they’re out of visas!
