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Please see our player page for Matt Strahm to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

What’s poppin’, Razzpimples? Remember to bookmark that Razzball Bullpen Chart, y’all! I update it obsessively. Also, if you’re a sub (you should be a sub…it’s great value), you get access to RP Projections and the super badass Relievonator Game Log tool, in addition to all the other awesome tools we have to offer. Hittertron and Streamonator, etc. Let’s do it […]

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What’s poppin’, Razzpimples? Remember to bookmark that Razzball Bullpen Chart, y’all! I update it obsessively. Also, if you’re a sub (you should be a sub…it’s great value), you get access to RP Projections and the super badass Relievonator Game Log tool, in addition to all the other awesome tools we have to offer. Hittertron and Streamonator, etc. Let’s do […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s shakin’, Razzbacon? Last weekend, I traveled to Portland to visit my family. We don’t get to see each other too much. So, I take these moments where I can get them. As a result, I missed the MOST IMPORTANT INJURY WEEK OF THE YEAR. Luckily, my Razzball brethren Mike Couillard, co-host of the fantastic […]

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Do you ever look at the calendar and ask yourself “How the fudge am I going to save my fantasy baseball team with only like 8 weeks left until the playoffs?” Think of it this way: a fantasy football season is 17 games total (the NFL added an extra week of play for those of you out of the loop). And, you know, there’s only one game a week…so, 17 chances to win. Playoffs in a 12-team league probably start around Week 14/Week 15 depending on the format. So, you’ve got roughly 13 opportunities for a Win/Loss that will put you in the playoff race. Fantasy football players do this every year, and it’s a much more popular sport than fantasy baseball. We’ve got like, 70-80 games left of MLB baseball before the fantasy baseball playoffs. Y’all can do this. Don’t panic. Chug a beer and grab a towel. Let’s see if we can get you onto the space super-highway. 

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Tonight the Colorado Rockies travel to Boston to battle the Red Sox on zero days’ rest. A bottom-three road team on both sides of the ball, I’ll be looking to pick on the Rockies with bats and arms alike. Rafael Devers (3B, $5,800) is heating up and our DFSBot loves his chances against Connor Seabold […]

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We’re nearing the 40% mark of the season, which means our favorite pitchers are fully loose and getting all sorts of problems with their shoulders and [reads notes] A4 pulleys. OK! Everyday, we learn something new. Today, I’m going to teach you the following: the Electric Slide, the G.O.A.T. recipe for yakisoba, and also, what an A4 flexor pulley tendon is. I’m not even sure I wrote that last part correctly, but I’ll trust the editors to fix it up.*

*Editor’s Note: Budget cuts have led to our dispossession of a copy of Grey’s Anatomy, both the book and the first season on DVD. Without McDreamy, we have no compass to guide our knowledge. 

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I admit: I’m living in a massive contradiction. I tell y’all about pitchers who limit runs, but I’m a glutton for offense. I’ve been around baseball for the better part of three decades, and there’s nothing I find more boring than a 1-0 game. I know defense wins championships, but every time there’s a close play at the bag, I root for the runner. I get to be a part of the baseball blogging community, and I can’t say I have a true favorite pitcher from the modern era. I’m old enough to have watched Nolan Ryan’s farewell tour in person, and who was my favorite pitcher growing up? Jimmy Key. Efficient. No walks. Quick games. Favorite team? The Twins. Efficient. See ball, hit ball. Coming of age in Minneapolis, you could get a student ticket, a beer, and two hot dogs for $10. But that dang fortress of an outfield in the Metrodome — the trash bag in right field, and the plexiglass in left field — that was a nightmare for offense. Y’all remember Kirby Puckett jumping up the plexiglass in the World Series, don’t cha? Nah? Guess we gotta get those copies of This Week in Baseball transferred from VHS.

Enough about my youthful pining for Jimmy Key — a pitcher who cataloged nearly 2600 innings of MLB work while striking out fewer than 6 per 9. By my own algorithm, he’d be Tier 4. Tier 1 in my heart, but ready to let your fantasy team down, eh?

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“My wrist, well, guys and gals, chicks and *icks, you’re not gonna believe this, but, it’s 100%. My wrist is healed. It’s the best it’s ever felt. My wrist feels like Elton John during his imperial phase. My wrist is playing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, and people aren’t hearing crap, but they’re hearing a masterpiece. My wrist is Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, doing all kinds of crazy judo chops in the supermarket aisle, and people are believing it, and are riveted. My wrist is Ty Cobb without the racism. My wrist is perfect!” This was a quote from Alex Kirilloff this year, and last year, and the year before. He was called up by the Twins, and played 1st yesterday (1-for-2). Kirilloff has been struggling with wrist issues since 2021. Almost exactly two years ago, he tore ligaments in his wrist. Those are the worst kind of after-dinner mints. Why do we care? If he’s healthy, he’s a 40-homer hitter with a .280 average. Sadly, we don’t know if we’re ever getting the purported strong-wristed Elton John or a limp-wristed Kirilloff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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“Please bend your knee, Gabriel Moreno, we have a coronation to attend to. Thank you.” Places sword on Moreno’s shoulder, then passes it over his head to other shoulder, and ceremoniously says, “Every fifth day, from today forward, you will be known as Boombalatty, so it’s now Pfaadt y Boombalatty. The perfect battery mate. You have no choice in this matter. Okay, now you can stand.” So, the Diamondbacks are showing their youth by exposing their baby Pfaadt. With Brandon Pfaadt being called up, the minors are closed now. *Matt Mervis pounds on door* Sorry, man, we just closed! So here’s what Itch’s said previously, “The 6’4” 220 lb Brandon Pfaadt got better outcomes than anyone could expect from a Triple-A Diamondback, posting a 0.99 WHIP with 74 strikeouts in 61.2 innings. Pitching coach Brent Strom has gotten great results from a lot of arms over the years, and Pfaadt comes gift wrapped with all the bells and whistles, carrying his plus velocity deep into starts and commanding his four-pitch arsenal like a veteran. I’m a veteran of fighting a war with Grey.” What? If it’s not clear, Brandon Pfaadt is a pickup in all leagues. Pfaadt chance I’m missing out on him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Just like when a Jewish kid turns 13 and they become a man or woman, and have their Bar Mitzvah or when a hitter breaks out and they have a Star Mitzvah, the same can be said of a team. A team becomes a Man Team when they decide they’re too good for Adam Frazier. That’s what happened yesterday for the Orioles. They looked at their team, and they said, we’re a Man Team, we need a Man 2nd baseman. (Though, they just moved Adam Frazier to right field yesterday; Santander to DH and Gunnar to the bench, but let’s hope they didn’t decide to become a Man Team without Gunnar.) To be a Man Team, they called up Joey Ortiz to be their new Man 2nd baseman. Itch’s said, “(Ortiz is) probably my favorite player in this system at the moment in terms of value to our game versus perceived value across the lists I’ve seen. Ortiz is a plus defender at 5’11” 175 lbs and could come on so quickly that the club has to promote him early in the season. He finished 2022 with an excellent 26-game stretch in Triple-A (.346/.400.567) and doesn’t have much more to learn in the minors. If he hits as well as my fist against Grey’s head, then sign me up!” What even? Ortiz looks like a 15/15/.280 hitter if he has an everyday job. It’s time, O’s. Man up! By the way, if you leave a sandwich out for 13 years, it becomes a Manwich. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With all the accuracy of genetically modified water, my rankings are here in full form! Imagine it like an early Cinco de Mayo present. Or if you don’t observe Cinco de Mayo, then at least it’s a May the Fourth (be with you) surprise. Like Rey finding Luke’s lightsaber, I hope that you find hope and light by knowing the hierarchical ordering of pitchers for your imaginary sports team. Now, concentrate really hard, and will your team to first place!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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There’s a large contingent of people logging on, who are like, so you like Fernando Tatis Jr. (0-for-5) now? I see, so you like cheaters? Let’s call these people, The Moralists. They’ve never done anything bad in their life. Good for them. Better than me, but they’re likely better than everyone. So, hey, The Moralists, I’m sorry, I grew up loving Mark McGwire, you can’t shame me into caring about steroids now. Here’s a conversation between me and The Moralists:

The Moralist, “You see that great player who is very fun?”
“Fernando Tatis Jr.? Yes, I do see him.”
“I don’t like him anymore because he cheated by taking drugs.”
“Oh, so you’re a nerd?!”

People who are like, “So, you’re defending cheating?” I am not Perry Mason. I am merely excited about the return of a guy I drafted in a fantasy baseball league. A guy who is fun. His name is Fun The Jewels for Chrissake! Any hoo! Welcome back, Fun The Jewels, now LFG! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?