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Ian Anderson (2 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.31) pitches like Jethro Tull singing, “Hello, darkness, my old friend.” Uh-oh, we’re being visited by Comatose Since March Man. This is gonna be brutal. Hey, Comatose Since March Man, how ya feeling? “Great, man! You ever sleep for four months? That’s what I feel like! Anyway, let’s talk about my fantasy baseball team! Ian Anderson is building on his 2021 season and is now an ace, right? Right?! Why are you tiptoeing backwards?” Seriously, though, how long until the Braves put Ian Anderson out to pasture with Touki, Ynoa and every other pitcher who they have that’s good for one season? Soon! Okay, the highlights, not the lowlights: Nick Castellanos (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 8th homer. “Hey, we could just put the car in neutral and roll it off a cliff with him in the driver’s seat–Whoa! Hold on! He moved! Castellanos is alive!” This was Castellanos’s first, and only as it turned out, homer in June, and he was hitting .212 entering yesterday’s game with five runs. Apizzarently, he’s become the Greek God of Hardly Any Contact. Then, Kyle Schwarber (1-for-4, 3 RBIs) said farewell to June with his 23rd homer. Someone please Back to the Future Schwarber with a Walkman in the middle of the night and tell him June is another 60 days long. Next up, or I should say nextus is Rhysus, the Philly savior, (1-for-3, 2 runs) hit his 15th and 2nd in as many games. Finally, the one true DH on a team filled with them, Darick Hall (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) got his 1st and 2nd homer on his first and second hits. When the Philly and Yacht Rock legend, Darick Hall, hits a homer, they better be playing She’s Gone. He will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, and he’s solid for power, but I’m not sure how much else. Sorry, Charlie, for the imposition… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?