Wade Miley had it going on Friday night in Cleveland pitching his first career no-hitter allowing just one walk and base runner reaching on an error while striking out eight batters for his fourth win of the year. Wait–he did what? Spit Take! It was just his second complete game shutout in ever, that’s right folks, in ever. In over 250 starts, Miley had only completed nine innings once before, back in April 2016 against the Royals. OK, so that seems normal. Miley joins Joe Musgrove, Carlos Rodon, and John Means for the fourth no-hitter this year and it’s only May (and we’re not even counting Madison Bumgarner’s 7-inning no-no)! Yep, that also seems totally normal. Certainly nothing wrong with the abysmal offenses on a lot of MLB clubs right now. And let’s not forget to mention this was the second time the Cleveland Baseball Team has been no-hit this season. I know pitchers tend to have the advantage earlier in the year, while batters heat up when the weather gets hot, hot, hot–but this seems a little silly, no? Not that I’m complaining. After refusing to draft a starting pitching until the 8th round, I now have fantasy teams that roster several pitchers with no-hitters this season. NBD #humblebrag. Wade’s been more than serviceable this year rocking a 2.00 ERA, 0.75 WHIP, and 27/8 K/BB ratio but I can’t imagine any stats I throw at you are going to make you add this guy. It’s Wade Miley! The bigger story here is how bad some of these offenses have been. As for Miley, he remains a streamer in most leagues but gets a juicy start with Pittsburgh next week. He’s playing for his seventh team in 10 years so it’s not unusual if you got some warm fuzzies from Miley’s big night. He’s a genuinely great clubhouse presence and you’ve likely rooted for him at some point in the past decade when he played for your own local baseball team. So Wade To Go Miley!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Miguel Rojas – 2-for-3, 3 runs. Marlins beisbol, baby! Go Fish! Get Hooked! Rojas is leading off again and slashing .291/.381/.447 while doing it. That means mad CSs for your FTs. That’s counting stats for your fantasy teams. Hmm, not really worth abbreviating if I have to tell you what it stands for–but next week you’ll be ready! As for Miguel, he’s one of many Rojas’s’ worthy of your “add” consideration this week. Read on to see who the others are! See if you can find them all!

Trevor Rogers – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 4th win. Oh boy, all these years drafting Trevors I knew I would strike gold on one of them eventually. Tbh (<–super popular acronym rn (<–also very popular acronym yk (<–triple nested acronym just for fun))), of all the Marlins starters I own I’m most surprised by Rogers’ breakout. Dude is rocking a 1.89 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, and a 50/15 K/BB. He’s everything I wanted in my Marlins pitcher, except he actually gets wins.

David Bote – 2-for-3, run. BUY. Wrap this one up and put a bowtie on it!

Rex Brothers – 0.1 IP, SV (1). Cubs Manager David Ross tried a number of relievers in the ninth none of whom were Craig Kimbrel for some reason. Kimbrel pitched back-to-back days on Tues-Weds but had Thursday off so not sure what the deal was here. Regardless, Ross now knows his options after Kimbrel are…not great.

Isan Diaz – 2-for-3, Grand Slam HR (2). Isan hit his second homer this week and has filled in admirably for the injured Jazz Chisholm, unfortunately, the Fish will have to find another spot for Isan when Jazz is back next week if they want to keep his bat in the lineup. Someone tell the guy from Soul not to kill himself, Jazz is coming back!

Freddie Freeman – 0-for-4, batting .195. OK. Exhale. Aaand Breathe. I want you to close your eyes. Are they closed? Alright. Now imagine yourself in a happy place, and I want you to envision how you’re feeling when Freddie Freeman finally busts out of this slump. That’s right. Five homers in a week. Are you seeing it? Mmhm. Good. Wait–how are you reading this with your eyes closed. Cheater!

Charlie Morton – 0.2 IP, 4 hits, 6 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, K. Charlie’s ERA has got William Contreras to thank for a passed ball error that lead to a 6 run first. Morton’s ERA actually dropped from 5.08 to 4.98 after the outing. L-O-L. Jokes and lols aside, Charlie’s 40/14 K/BB still makes me drool face emoji and this is the perfect time to buy if you need starting pitching help. Nowhere to go but up!

J.T. Realmuto – 3-for-5, HR (4), 2 RBI. Jean Segura had four hits and Harper, Herrera, Bohm, and McCutchen all chipped in with two hits apiece as the Phillies put on a clinic scoring 12 runs on 16 hits. Mean Jean is slashing .369/.391/.477 in 18 games this season and returned from the IL with a bang pop pow! How long before he’s leading off instead of ol’ man McCutchen? Idk!

Zach Eflin – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, BB, 8 K, 2nd win. Every Phillies starter scored a run last night except the pitcher. That’s a subtle Zach neg to motivate him to be even better than he has been. He’s 2-1 with a 3.38 ERA and has actually been a tad unlucky. This guy’s Eflin good!

Jack Flaherty – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 6 K, 6th win. ERA at 2.83. And he homered. Cause that’s what 2021 Cy Young winners do.

Harrison Bader – 1-for-4, HR (3). BUY. He now has three homers in his last six games after coming back from a forearm injury. If you clicked the blue text and read the Pokeeman story, you’d know Harrison is a big Charmander stan. But you’d think he’s a water-type by the way he’s Blastoise-ing homers in the seats. That might be the nerdiest joke I’ve ever made.

Kendall Graveman – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (4). “The closer situation in Seattle is Grave, man.” That’s the M’s manager Scott Servais speaking to the media after taking a weed gummy. Thank you. And if you liked those last two jokes you should check out my set at the Laugh Factory on Tuesday nights. You’ll get to meet my mom. I don’t know that I’d drop Rafael Montero, but Graveman looks to be the closer Servais trusts in close games at least.

Dylan Moore – 1-for-3, HR (3). Gimme Moore of that! Like seriously though, can you not go hitless for a week between home runs?

Kyle Lewis – 3-for-5. J.P. Crawford was 3-for-3, HR (1), 2 RBI. I like when Lewis does anything but going 0-for-4 or 1-for-4 with a homer–because usually it’s one or the other. But seriously, where is Kelenic, this team is pathetic.

Willie Calhoun – 2-for-4, run, RBI. Don’t look now, but Willie’s batting .417 with two homers in the past week. Calhoun’s hit safely in 11 of his last 12 games and the .949 OPS is real nice but with Khris Davis set to return soon we’ll have to see how Willie manages to get ABs.

Zach Plesac – 8.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 7 K. Zach has now gone 13.2 scoreless innings and pitched his third straight quality start. Let’s give him the chop! The lesson I’m learning from all of this is to draft lots of AL Central starters. Particularly, Cleveland Rock Stars.

Emmanuel Clase – 0.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, L. He was brought into a non-save situation so of course, this happened. Come on, Tito, don’t you know closers are creatures of habit–you can’t mess up their rituals. Clase should get the next save chance but James Karinchak is lurking waiting for the next slip up. Both guys should probably be owned in most leagues.

Zac Gallen –  6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 4 BB, 5 K. ERA at 3.04. One of the hardest parts about being a fantasy baseball analyst slash expert slash journalist slash idiot slash nerd is you have the keep track of how all the Zac(h|k)’s spell their names. If you’re ever in doubt, go with the “ch.”

Josh Rojas – 3-for-5, run. BUY. ADD ALL THE ROJAS’! But seriously, if you’re going to add just one Rojas this weekend–make it this one, Josh extended his hitting streak to seven games Friday night and has four homers in the past 10 days. He’s a hot little potato that demands to be owned everywhere right now.

Francisco Lindor – 2-for-5, HR (2). First home run in Queens. How long before the guys from the neighborhood “fuggedahboutit!” Lindo tryna bust out of his slump in a big way. Apparently, he got in a tussle with teammate Jeff McNeil over a possible rat or raccoon in the clubhouse but I think it’s safe to assume this was Francisco’s first run-in with a real NYC City rat and the size of them can often catch people off guard.

Jonathan Villar – 2-for-3, RBI, SB (1). Villar is a player I owned everywhere last year but instantly became irrelevant when he signed with the Mess. However, with JD Davis sidelined and Villar set to get regular ABs he’s definitely worth a look if you need steals.

David Peterson – 1.2 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 3 K. Frogettable outing for Peterson but could be stream-worthy next week versus the Rays. Basically, start anyone against the Rays right now.

Carlos Rodon – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 8 K. ERA at 0.58. Whoever the pitching coach is in Chicago this year deserves a raise. Or is La Russa really that good? There was a lot of talk of how great this South Side offense was going to be but the pitching has hard carried.  Whatever they’re feeding Rodon can Giolito have some?

Salvador Perez – 4-for-4. Mmm, four for four. Shoutout to Wendy’s!

Carlos Correa – 1-for-4, HR (5). Wow. I can’t believe how bad I want Wendy’s now.

Alex Bregman – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI. I wish the whole “cheating bunch of cheaters” thing didn’t scare me away and I drafted way more Astros. They are still pretty darn good at hitting baseballs.

Yuli Gurriel – 4-for-4, 2 run, HR (5), 4 RBI. OK. This has got to be some kind of weird sign from the good Saint Dave Thomas. I will be right back.

Jose Urquidy – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, BB, 2 K, 3rd win. ERA 3.51 ERA. Alright, I went with the bacon double chee, five-piece nugget, fries, and pop, and boy am I happy I did. What a deal! Speaking of dealing, Jose won his third straight start and quieted a scary Florida BJays lineup. Someone deserves a Frosty!

Teoscar Hernandez – 1-for-4, HR (3). What a star! Imagine if the Yankees had a player like this?

Bo Bichette – 1-for-4, HR (8). Not sure I’ve mentioned yet how valuable BoBich has been to date. Dude is slashing .343/.378/.571 with two homers and three steals in the past week and is the number one shortstop on the player rater in a year filled with number-1 shortstop types. I scoffed at his second-round selection but Bo is a Bo-nafide star! Ha-cha-cha!

Danny Jansen – 1-for-3, HR (2). He’s almost batting over .100 again. If you want to pick him back up I won’t tell anybody.

Ross Stripling – 3.2 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 3 K. We want Nate Pearson!

Eduardo Rodriguez – 5.0 IP, 7 hits, ER, 3 BB, 2 K, 5-0. Ed-Rod got roughed up a bit in his last start in Texas but rebounded with a solid outing in Baltimore. He’s not overpowering hitters but he’s making it happen and should be every bit the ace the Sawx need him to be this year.

Bobby Dalbec– 2-for-3, HR (2), 3 RBI. Bobby Bombs! Bobby D. strikes out too much to be fantasy relevant in anything but the deepest AL East-Only leagues but damn if that flow doesn’t ease the pain of losing Benintendi this offseason.

Ryan Mountcastle – 3-for-4, HR (2). Just his second homer of the year and even for the Orioles Mountcastle has been a bit of a disappointment. Ryan looks like he could benefit from a little more seasoning in the minors but I do want to say I’m sorry to you for drafting him so high. It’s the O’s, ya’ll. What did you expect?

Tarik Skubal – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 5th L. Tarik is well on his way to a double digit L season. Just think, the worse he is this year, the easier it will be for you to draft him next year. And methinks you’re definitely going to want to draft him next year.

Matt Shoemaker – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 2nd win. Shoemaker’s two wins both came against this lowly Tigers offense and he has been mostly terrible against everyone else. He gets the White Sox next week. Pick him up if you hate yourself.

Kyle Garlick – 2-for-5, HR (1). With Byron Buxton set to miss a “few weeks” (lol), Johnny Garlick could be in line for regular Ayy Bees. He strikes out a lot but if he can keep hitting dingers I can ignore that part and instead focus on the fact that you can never have too much Garlick.

Max Kepler – 2-for-4, HR (2). Jorge Polanco also homered. I told most of you to lose Kepler for Kirillof last week so I felt it my moral obligation to mention Kepler’s homer here. He’s basically Kiriloff without the upside and five years older. Glowing recommendation, I know!

Sean Manaea – 7.1 IP, 2 hits, 1 ER, BB, 10 K. No hit bid was broken up in the eighth by Mike Brosseau (1-for-3, run), who apparently Sean went to high school with. I’m just thinking–how good was their high school baseball team? A quick google search tells me he and Mike were Andrian High School State Champions in 2010. How cool is that–zzzz!

Jake Diekman – 0.2 IP, 2 K, 9 pitches, W. BUY. Still splitting closer duties with Lou Trevino but Diekman is filthy and should be owned either way.

Rich Hill – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. Rich “I Ain’t Over the” Hill turned in his best start of the year and has settled in considerably after beginning the year with an ERA over eight. He’s worth streaming in the right matchups, but next week versus the Yankees is not the right match-up.

Jeffrey Springs – 0.2 IP, 1 hit, ER. Cash went with Springs is the ninth, who lost the game. Only after Peter Fairbanks struck out the side in the eighth inning. Well, that doesn’t provide much clarity on who will get the next save chance, does it? Do you want clarity or do you want facts?

Jose Rojas – 1-for-3, 2 runs, RBI. Another Rojas! It’s a GD family reunion! The best thing about adding a Rojas this week is if you add the wrong one by accident you’re still probably in good shape.

Mike Trout – 2-for-4, RBI, SB (1). A steal! That’s vintage Trout right there. David Fletcher added three hits too, as the post-Pujols Angels scored 9 runs on 13 hits. If you’ll allow me a quick rant, sure the Angels disrespected one of the greatest hitters all-time by outright releasing Albert and replacing him with a converted pitcher at first base–but, the Angels owe him nothing (besides about 25 million dollars). They were never really competitive with him on their team and all the warm fuzzies you get from Pujols likely came from him in the Cards uniform. You’ve got some huge stars in Ohtani and Trout and the focus needs to be them, not a farewell tour for Alby. So I get it. It’s a bit cold and heartless, but the Angels are better without him, and when you’re paying guys this much money who cares about being sentimental.

Mookie Betts – 2-for-4, HR (4). Mookie Best! When I’m a Dogecoin millionaire you won’t have to play baseball anymore Mookie. We can get that ranch together like we planned and live off the land farming Alpacas. The only baseballs we’ll touch are when we “have a catch” together on nice sunny days. If my vision board could talk it would probably say something like that.

Julio Urias – 2.0 IP, 8 hits, 5 ER, 4 K. Just when you thought he was safe! No one can escape the Dodgers woes! The season is over! What a disaster.

Griffin Canning – 5.2 IP, 6 hits, ER, 3 BB, 4 K, 3rd win. Hogawarts number one extracurricular activity was feeling it last night and has now pitched back-to-back solid outings. All the Angels pitchers scare the heck out of me but if you pick him up I promise to root for him as hard as I can.

Blake Snell – 4.2 IP, 1 hit, 4 ER, 6 BB, 5 K. Took him 95 pitches to labor through almost 5 innings but no–it was definitely Kevin Cash holding him back from all those complete game shutouts we were missing last year. As mediocre as he’s been, none of his starts really hurt you, at least. Is Snell still a no-brainer start at Colorado next week? I think yes, but confidence is low.

Anthony DeSclafani – 5.1 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, BB, 3 K. ERA at 2.40. He gets a tasty matchup with the P-Rats next week, yes, please! If only you’d drafted all the Giants starters instead of the Padres starters you’d be loving life right now! And if you’re thinking, “I still love my life!” then quit gloating show off. No one likes a bragger.

Jake McGee – 1.0 IP, BB, 3 K, SV (8). Struck out the side to notch his first save since April 22nd. McGee needed this outing to fend of Tyler Rogers who has pitched better this season to date. Lucky for Jake, Manager Kapler still seems to favor McGee in the ninth. Lucky for me, I own both!

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-4, HR (4), 2 RBI. The homers are great. Don’t get me wrong–I love me some dingers, but it’s his three steals that make me want to give Hosmer a big ol’ smooch. Remember when I said he’d be more valuable than Machado and Tatis? You don’t? OK good, me neither. I still like Hosmer a lot this year though.

Austin Slater – 1-for-2, 3 runs, HR (3), SB (6). The slam & legs! In San Francisco, the slam & legs are served with a giant dead fish sitting in the sun on Fisherman’s Wharf, surrounded by dozens of barking seals and hundreds of Asian tourists.

Buster Posey – 1-for-2, HR (8). Slashing .397/.371/.461. Buster is batting close to .600 with 2 homers in the past week. He’s the number one rated catcher and the way the pitching staff has been throwing could be my extremely premature pick for 2021 non-fantasy MVP. Sweet sassy molassy! He’s already got more homers than he did all of 2019, and if you’ve been in a coma since 2015 and woke up on draft day and picked Posey you’re looking like a genuine Isaac Einstein right now. It’s amazing what a year off can do for some of these guys. If I took a year off from Razzball you think I’d come back funnier and better at fantasy baseball advice?

DJ LeMahieu – 3-for-4, 2 HR (2). Slashing 283/.372/.400. DJ cranking out all the hits! Before the game, DJ handed out MDMA in the clubhouse, threw his best five NOW That’s What I Call Music CDs into his five-disc changer, and jacked two bombs for his team. Too bad none of them remember any of it.

Patrick Corbin – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, 2 K. 7.36 ERA, and 1.53 WHIP. What happened to you man! The long ball has been a problemo for PatCo as he gave up his 10th last night. Not a player I’d be looking to buy into but he’s gotta be better than he has been.

Juan Soto – 2-for-5, HR (3), 2 RBI. Sandwiched between the two Joshs, is some prime cut. Josh Harrison, Josh Bell, and Yan Gomes also homered and it’s amazing how much better this offense is with the best player on the planet in it. Also, how good has Josh Harrison been? Keep doing what you’re doing!

Jameson Taillon – 6.1 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, BB, 5 K. The ratios, 5.02 ERA and 1.12 WHIP, might scare you but Tailion looked good last night and the 34/6 K/BB ain’t too shabby. I’d probably own Tailion everywhere if he wasn’t on the Yankees and drafted way too early.

Gary Sanchez – 1-for-3, HR (3). Sanchez assured the media this wasn’t him busting out of a slump because he doesn’t go in slumps and tomorrow he’ll be back to draining your batting average.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!



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Stream Weaver
Stream Weaver
1 year ago

Just a slight edit. Urias had 5 innings pitched not 2. Have a good one and great write up.

1 year ago

Wade to go Miley . . .Lol!

Perfect Game
Perfect Game
1 year ago

Who do you want in this trade?

Bellinger or Lindor?

Who puts up the better stats when Bellinger returns?

It’s a 5×5 redraft league.

Malicious Phenoms
Malicious Phenoms
1 year ago

Good stuff as always Mr Pants.

Injuries killing my fun this early season. Hoping it turns around come summer.

Have a great weekend Danny Boy!

1 year ago

Good stuff Senor Pantalones!

Steamin Beamen
Steamin Beamen
1 year ago

Hey Dan,

Would you drop Patrick Corbin?

I need a roster spot to start streaming, and can’t decide if it’s a rash decision to drop him.

He did aight yesterday, but there was a ton of hard hit balls that went for outs.

I also keep not starting him out of fear he is going to destroy my ratios, so he’s really been buring a roster spot for me.


Thanks so much!

Steamin Beamen
Steamin Beamen
Reply to  Dan Pants
1 year ago

Gotcha, thanks a lot!

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
1 year ago

Hope they wait (don’t want another Juan Soto). I thought I read Toronto saying “it’ll be more than the standard 10 days” -> I had assumed mid/late June.

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
1 year ago

If you thought that was easy – try this one (2 parts).
a. When would you guess George Springer will get activated this time?
b. When do you think he’ll be more than (say) 2 games/week for Toronto?

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
1 year ago

Help me make sense of the closers (as if that’s possible). Please rank Graveman; Tyler Rogers; and Romano.

Perfect Game
Perfect Game
1 year ago

Standard roto using QS instead of W.

Who do you like ROS for counting stats and ratios – Means or Alcantara? Both pitch in hitters divisions.

1 year ago

Thanks for the write-up, Dan! Question: who do you think offers the most long-term fantasy help in OBP dynasty leagues – Alex Verdugo or Jarren Duran?

Thanks again!

1 year ago

“NOW That’s What I Call Music CDs into his five-disc changer”

Bringing out the deep cuts I see!

…I’m old and it cuts deep.

Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho
1 year ago

E-Rod or K.Hendricks ROS in a 12-team roto mixer?